AN: In one of my many reviews, I was complaining about Zant in Twilight Princess since he acted like such a…pothead! XD
This oneshot was inspired as I was trying to draw up Zant, and make a cartoon out of it. Since I can't draw-at all- I've decided to make my cartoon drawings into a oneshot! It's a bit wacky, but it's nothing you guys haven't seen before. Just Zant, spinning around like an idiot and making those retarded sounds…XD
Cackles Ah, that battle never gets old! XD
Disclaimer: I do own Legend of Zelda. Or the teapot song. Yep, I'm sure you guys know where this oneshot's going…O.o
There's a couple of extremely hilarious inside jokes here, and I won't mention them at the end either. ;)
Zant's POV. Rated for the safety of our CHILDREN! OH, the HORROR! XD
Teapot
Ah…the joys of life.
I, Zant, was currently sitting on an extremely small chair. The poor white and pink chair was buckling under my weight. But I didn't care. After all, I wasn't fat…was I?
I was just about to pour some tea to Mr. Snuggles when my chair broke. I sat there, in my throne room, crying my lungs out. I was fat! Oh, the horror!
---FLASHBACK!---
"Now, now dear," my mother started, "Don't cry!" She started to sing in a lullaby, "When life gets you down…just sing the TEAPOT SONG!"
---END FLASHBACK!---
Unfortunately, she died a few weeks later. I think the doctor said something about a drug overdose. Drugs were medication, right?
I sniffed quietly as I remembered my mother's words from so long ago as I started to sing the teapot song. "I'm a little teapot", sniff. "Short and Stout" Sniff. "Here is my handle" Sniff, Sniff. "And here is my spout" I started smiling slighty at this point. I loved this song! "When I get all streamed up, hear me shout. Just tip me over and poor me out!"
I grinned like a little child on Christmas day, starting to start the song over. But this time, I added in the actions.
I stood from my perch on the floor as I sang out joyfully. "I'm a little teapot, Short and stout! Here is my handle," I put one hand on my hip, "Here is my spout!" I put my other arm out straight. "When I get all steamed up, hear my shout!" I started moving my hips back and forth, back and forth. "Just tip me over and pour me out!"
AN: I've decided to make a series of oneshots. They will all be separate 'stories' I think, but they will all be about Zant acting like a…nevermind. XD
I could actually see Zant doing the teapot dance though! I nearly pissed myself laughing. Either I have a weird, sick and demented mind, or this oneshot really is funny…I don't know. All I know is that Zant is abusing drugs. And that is enough for me! XD
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