Hey everyone! This is a one shot I felt compelled to write. It is based off of chapter 517 of the Manga. So if you haven't read it or dislike spoilers don't read this. Basically I have been intrigued with Sesshomaru's actions between chapters 489 till the present 517. He is going through an arduous metamorphosis inside himself. He is being forced to come to terms with Inuyasha and his own strengths as well as his weaknesses. In an intensity that was previously only known in fanfiction. So without further ado, here is my take on Sesshomaru's thoughts and actions during 517.

And I know that I'm using dialogue directly from the chapter, but I intended it that way. My point is getting at what is going on between the lines during the chapter. Hopefully 518 will shed some more light, but I haven't found that scanlation yet.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sesshomaru! You idiot! Get back here!" Inuyasha's voice demands with irritation, and I must say I detect a hint of worry there. It's obvious his inferior hanyou nose hasn't smelled it yet. I ignore my pathetic brother's pleas and focus in on my target. Just beyond the disembodied head of Magatsuhi I can smell it… Something not of this world. Something my shameful Tenseiga can sink her worthless blade into. I force back my resentment towards the fangs… towards Inuyasha and my father, and focus my movements into evading Magatsuh's borrowed body parts as they fly around, deftly seeking wholeness.

"You fool… I'll devour you." Magatsuhi's smooth, almost feminine, voice tries to demean me. He flashes me a twisted smile filled with pointed teeth. His beady eyes flash at me dangerously with amusement. Seeing his ignorance I smirk inwardly. He underestimates me… such a foolish thing.

'I can smell it.' It's the only coherent thought as I see my goal within reach. I have to do this. My pride is all I have left. There is nothing that can stop me now. As I approach my nose picks up on the differences in scent around me.

'Magatsuhi's main body that's manipulating those scattered pieces of body… is slightly different than Naraku's, the scent of an evil spirit.' I deftly reach for my Tenseiga. The perturbed look Magatsuhi gives delights me. So he finally realizes I'm on to something when it's too late to stop me. I slice through the swirling opaque mass behind him and feel a strange heaviness as the air itself catches across my blade. A swell in my pride rushes through me. All because I sensed and did something Inuyasha can't. As I peer on, ready to slash again at the asymmetrical mass it suddenly shifts and an opaque replica of Magatsuhi's face appears with a deep gash across his left eye. Shit… It wasn't enough.

"Curse you!" Magatsuhi's spirit roars with wrath. "Damn you!" I swing my sword attempting to attack again, but I am thwarted by pieces of Naraku's body. My sword vainly clashes against the body parts. My feelings of pride begin to fade… replaced with more primitive instincts.

"What is that sword? It can cut spirits, but beings of this world like Naraku's body are impervious." Magatsuhi nearly gloats and for the first time in my life I am truly faced with the reality of losing. I grimace and my body stiffens even before I realize the impact is coming. At first I'm so shocked there is no pain. Then insufferable burning sets in across my body as I realize my chest was impaled on both sides. My heart stops for a moment and I wonder dazedly if the neglected organ was run through as well… what a fitting end. My impaled body is suddenly jerked up and away. I fell the remaining pieces of Naraku's body lunge in for the kill.

However, in the split seconds before my body is consumed I see their faces… the most haunting sight of my life. I see Jaken and Rin calling out to me in tears… will they ever know how desperately I want to protect them? And Rin… she's so young, she shouldn't be seeing this. An anguished cry robs my precious moments and turns my attention to him… the source of my misery. The look on Inuyasha burns through my memory. Guilt and helplessness swirl in cacophony though his warm golden depths. What is wrong Inuyasha? Do you feel finally understand how much anguish you have caused me? I don't even have the will to give him my usual glare… instead my look remains a distant, almost sorrowful gaze.

"KuKuKu, I'll say it again… You're weak!" Magatsuhi's words burn into my fading thoughts. Then my world goes black as the swirling mass of body parts seeks to dissolve my broken body. I hear distant tortured screams calling for me… Rin. I'm so sorry, I can't protect you this time. The very word elicits a long forgotten memory. Father… Why? Did you hate me that much… was my love never good enough? A deep pain roots itself in my soul and my half assed struggling ceases. I sense the Tessaiga and Inuyasha's presence just beyond my death cocoon.

"Damn! Sesshomaru, you bastard… I'm not gonna let you die like this!" Inuyasha's muffled voice reaches my ears, but the emotion in his voice couldn't be clearer. He is scared I will die… how touching. Too late now… after all you and father seemed so intent on leaving me with nothing. So intent on showing me I'm nothing. My conscious slowly fades away as I hear Inuyasha desperately try to rescue me from outside. The pain in my body begins to fade and I feel my life force start to drain... it's all so peaceful now.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Daddy?" A young boy asks. As I look on I gasp. The boy is me and the man standing next to him is… father. Is this what happens when you die? You relive the misery of your life?

"What is it Sesshomaru?" His deep baritone answers and my youthful self jumps around excitedly and points to the sword at his hip.

"One day will you leave that to me? Then I'll be as strong as you!" The boy is answered with a hearty chuckle. A large hand lands on top of his head and ruffles his silver locks. I watch myself as I give a lopsided grin and look up at father with adoration.

"One day eh?" He says as he looks somewhere past the boy. "One day you will be stronger than me… If you depend on my sword you'll never realize that." The boy's smile faded. I watched as my younger self fell behind father in disappointment, but I grasped what father wanted. After all this time I finally understand… but it's too late.

NO! I WON'T LET IT END THIS WAY!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I open my eyes in the darkness and I feel strength returning to my limbs. My youkai begins a storm of rage inside of me. Suddenly I am caught with the realization that my anger, jealousy and hate have been erased, striking me with newfound compassion and loyalty in my heart. The organ begins beating triumphantly as I pour my strength into resistance.

I WILL NOT BE CONSUMED... I WILL NOT FADE AWAY!

Light… there is no other word for it. Light is pouring from my missing left limb in torrents. The cocoon of Naraku's leeching body begins to dissolve. As the light is about to break through I realize my brother is nearby. I gain control of myself and direct it away from him as I burst out. Inuyasha's look of dumbfound surprise, yet welcomed astonishment is amusing. I hear my young ward call out for me, unable to contain her elation. My Rin, I've come back to you.

I have finally learned to accept my weaknesses… and in doing so I made them my strengths.

Finished!

Well I hope you all liked it! I'd love to hear what you thought, so drop me a review:)