The Tattoo on his Wrist
I asked him. All he did was stare at me like I was crazy.
"Huh?"
I laughed. "Will you go on a date with me?"
He looked into my eyes. Probably to check if I was joking. I wasn't.
"A-alright."
Four months, that's how long we've been together.
"Kendall?"
"Yeah?"
He stared at me with those beautiful brown eyes of his. "I love you."
He didn't let me answer; he just walked away.
He's said "I love you" like five times. He doesn't let me say it back. He just leaves.
"Logie?"
"Yeah?"
"Why don't you, you know, let me say something after... it."
He smiled up at me and kisses my cheek. "I want the day you say it to be memorable."
We've lived with each other for over two years. He still hasn't let me say it to him, not even once. Even though I know I feel the same.
"I want a tattoo."
He looks up from my lap where he was reading a book. "What? Tattoo's are... just... no."
"Come on, you know I'll look sexy with one."
He snorts and goes back to reading.
"Logan!?"
"What?"
"You forgot our date." I was angry until I saw the look in his eyes.
"Oh my god Kendall!" He looked, almost, confused. "I'm so sorry, I… forgot."
"Kendall?"
I looked at him as we walked up the street. "Yeah?"
"Where are we going?"
I looked at him like he was crazy. "We're gonna go hang out with James and Carlos for James' birthday, remember?"
He slowly nodded. "Yeah, I remember."
I could tell he was lying.
"Logan, I love y-"
He interrupted me."Stop."
"Why don't you ever let me say it!?"
He chuckled and walked out of our room.
"Like I said before, I want it to be memorable!" He shouted from the living room.
We were at Carlos' for his birthday. I saw Logan standing away from everyone, looking out the window.
I walked up to him and wrapped my hands around him. He jumped.
"Hi Logie, what ya doin all the way over here by your lonesome?"
He looked out the window; I could see his frown. "Why are we at Carlos'?"
I was confused now too. "It's his birthday, remember?"
He stood still, and then shook his head. "No, I don't."
Dementia.
He was crying into my chest as he kept apologizing over and over. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
I hugged him, holding my own tears back. "It's ok. Everything will be ok."
He's forgetting more and more every week. Last week he forgot where he worked. I called in sick for him.
"Logan, where are you going?"
He looked at me with a look of determination. "I'm going to get a tattoo."
"Explain to me why you want to do this?" I looked around the tattoo parlor with Logan sitting waiting patiently for the guy to come back with the ink.
He had a sad smile when he answered. "I want to remember."
Three months. He had to quit his job. He couldn't remember half the stuff he had to do there anymore.
He cries almost every night, telling me that he's sorry for being such a burden.
I tell him everything will be alright.
A year. He's forgetting me too now. He can barely remember where he is.
He fell asleep on my chest. I look down at his wrist where he got his tattoo.
It's my name.
He doesn't wanna forget me.
"W-who are you?"
It kills me when he forgets me.
"It's me, Kendall."
It takes him a second before he remembers and then feels guilty.
He wipes away the guilt and smiles at me with teary eyes. "I love you."
I visited him today, like I do every day.
He doesn't remember me anymore.
He acts like when we were teenagers.
He has always been so polite.
"Hi."
He looks at me and smiles nervously. "Hi, do I know you?"
I shake my head. "No, I'm Kendall."
"Liar." He points at his wrist. "I know a Kendall, see."
I look at his wrist. "I guess you do."
He nods.
I'm walking towards him and he looks up. He looks down at his wrist and his eyes widen.
I walk up to him.
He looks at me and speaks breathlessly. "You're Kendall."
I nod. "Yeah."
He doesn't get those much. Those moments of clarity. They happen less and less now.
I couldn't take it anymore. I stopped visiting him.
...It's not like he'll even remember.
Carlos and James make me go visit him. It's been over a year.
"Guys, I don't wanna go."
Carlos looks like he wants to punch me. "It's Logan."
I look at the ground. "Not anymore."
After that they stopped trying to make me go.
It's been nearly five years. I finally get the courage to go see him.
I walk down the big white hall into the large living room.
I see him almost immediately. He doesn't see me. He's reading a book.
I walk over and sit next to him.
"Hi, I'm Kend-"
"Sshh. It's getting good."
I wait till he finished the chapter. He looks up and smiles. "Hi Kendall."
I want to cry. Instead I hug him. "Hi Logie."
He chuckles. "Can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
He smiles and grabs my hand as he looks down at his wrist. "I love you."
I can feel the tears coming. "I love you too."
And I break.
Sorry to say that I won't be able to update today for you guys. Some family emergency stuff came up. I'm sorry, so as an apology I added this little story to hopefully hold you guys over until next week. Again, I'm sorry.