Raindrop150 wanted Bond undercover in the military and Q to flip when he saw Bond in the uniform.
Q pounded away furiously on his laptop, tracking some terrorist cell – he could never keep them straight, there were too many nowadays – and trying to guide 006 towards his safe house.
"They're surrounding you, but there's a narrow path out of the marketplace if you go left in about twenty feet." Q adjusted his small headset as his fingers continued to fly over the keys. He sighed. "No, NO, twenty feet, TWENTY. Yes, NOW." Q rolled his eyes at the rest of Q Branch.
He couldn't have had 007 today – it had to be 006…bumbling imbecile.
Eve sidled up to him as he let out yet another frustrated sigh – 006 had made it into the necessary alley but now he was getting cornered by a merchant. "For God's sake, you don't want the fish. Could you be more obtuse?!" Q was practically shouting and yanked the mic of his headset up before he cursed 006 out further. "What?" he snarled at Eve. One perfectly plucked eyebrow went up.
"Nope. Not when you ask like that."
Q ran a hand through his unruly curls.
"Sorry. Buy you a cuppa later?"
Eve grinned slyly and tugged Q away from the desk.
"Sure, but first…I've got news." Q glanced back at 006 – his tracker still blinking at the same damn merchant's stand – and Eve laughed. "R will take care of it, come with me." Eve nodded at R – a mid-range member of Q Branch.
Then again…compared to Q…everyone was mid-range.
R quickly replaced Q, taking the headset and barking that 006 needed to "hightail it out before getting shot to Swiss cheese." Eve stifled a laugh as she led Q down the hall, linking her arm with his.
"So…guess who's favorite agent is being placed undercover in the military?" she whispered viciously. Q shot her a glance.
"You're joking."
Eve shook her head, her eyes lighting up.
"He's getting cammed out right now. They've never had an army man like him; they have to make his uniform…special."
Q gaped at her, suddenly aware of where she was leading him.
"Oh, no no no, I can't, it'd be –"
"It'll be fine and you will love it."
Q tried to pull away. Eve yanked him back.
Bond in military dress? Oh, not fair.
"No, ya don't. C'mon, we're almost there." Eve gripped Q's arm tightly and shoved open the heavy metal door which read "Outfitting." "We're here! Brought a Q Branch specialist!"
Three pairs of eyes snapped on him, looking him up and down quickly – all high-ranking military officials…not the eyes that mattered.
"Your confidence in my new uniform notwithstanding, Moneypenny, I'm quite sure I can–" Bond came out from behind a dressing curtain, sliding an arm through a camouflage jacket, clamping his mouth shut as he noticed Q.
Q couldn't think, which explained why the snarky remark left his lips before he had a chance to breathe.
"Your assurance is welcome as always, Bond."
The camo fit Bond like it had been spray-painted on his body. The starch white undershirt clung to his torso and the camo pants accents his thigh and calf muscles obscenely. The jacket, still unbuttoned, gave a slight messy touch to the otherwise crisp ensemble.
Typical Bond – had to have a small bit of chaos with his order.
Bond nodded at Q.
"Q."
Q forced himself to swallow, breathe, speak.
"007."
Bond adjusted the sleeve of the jacket before assuming a perfect "at-ease" position.
"How do I look?"
The question was directed at the group, but Bond's eyes were on Q.
Say something – Don't say anything – You should just let him – NO – Be nice – Don't you dare.
"Oh, you look fine as always, now hurry up, Q has 006 to get back to!" Eve commanded.
Bond stepped towards the small ensemble of people – military, Q, Eve – and Q felt his pulse increase.
What the hell? He'd seen men in army uniforms before.
But not Bond.
He'd seen other 00 agents in costumes, going undercover as others.
But not Bond.
"Q?" Eve broke into his thoughts.
Q looked up to five pairs of eyes on him, one particularly blue and intense pair eying him up and down slowly.
Oh, yes…he noticed that.
"Sorry. What?"
The right corner of Eve's mouth twitched as she answered.
"What weapons do you think 007 should use on this mission?"
Q shook his head and looked down at the table in front of him, quickly deducing what weapons would be best.
"Yes. Right. Of course. So, we have…" Q launched into a lengthy explanation of the different weapons needed, all the while dealing with his heightened libido.
Eyes on the weapons, not on Bond's crotch. – God, that's obscene, why is that clinging so tightly to his – FOCUS. ON. THE. WEAPONS. – Why did it have to be Bond? 005 has official military training – Does he actually have DOG TAGS around his neck? – Q. FOCUS.
"All set?"
Q finished, desperately hoping he wasn't as flushed as he felt. Bond and company nodded. Q avoided Bond and Eve's glances as he packed up the remaining weapons and prepared to walk briskly back to Q Branch.
And bury my head in my work and a cup of Earl Grey and forgetting about stupid Bond in stupid camo…
"Gentlemen, Moneypenny." Q nodded and turned to leave, carrying the weapons case at his side.
He'd almost made it to Q Branch when a hand touched his shoulder. Q sighed, speaking as he turned.
"Eve, very funny. I'm probably still blushing, so ha-ha, you got your little jab at Q, can I just go and –"
Bond grinned at him.
"You never told me how I looked."
Q gaped at him for a few seconds before quickly checking the hallway.
Empty.
Q groaned and set the weapons case down, pushing Bond against the wall, pressing his lips to the blonde's mouth.
"You look amazing and you know it."
Bond laughed roughly, kissing Q back hard.
"Glad to hear it."
"I could kill Eve, that was too bloody close." Q dragged his mouth along Bond's jawline, trying to keep his hands from dislodging Bond's undershirt.
Or the rest of his camo…
Q finally, reluctantly, pulled back, leaning his forehead against Bond's.
"Okay. Really have to go now."
Bond pressed his lips to Q's curls.
"I'll be back soon."
Q looked up at him.
Bond chuckled.
"I'll be fine. Go save 006, he's got to be stuck in some marketplace."
Q laughed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Yeah…" Q leaned down to pick up the case and started walking towards the entrance to Q Branch.
He glanced back only once, but Bond had gone.