Epic Rap Battles of History: Danny Tanner vs. Al Bundy
Rated T for Language
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Full House, Married... With Children or Epic Rap Battles of History. Full House is owned by Lorimar Television and Warner Bros, Married... With Children is owned by Columbia Pictures and Sony Entertainment, and Epic Rap Battles of History is owned by YouTube. You know what time it is for those who enjoy rap battle fics! It's a rap battle between two of the most loved, most celebrated TV fathers from the 80's! It's Full House's own clean-freak Danny Tanner taking on Married... With Children's favorite shoeman, Al Bundy Enjoy!
EPIC RAP BATTLE!
DANNY TANNER!
vs.
AL BUNDY!
BEGIN!
Danny Tanner:
Danny Tanner, living in full effect
Representing San Fran, like I call collect
I'm a clean freak all the way without question
That my dope rhymes drop you like indigestion
You a shoe salesman? That looks really smelly
Like your toe jam that stinks of really rotten deli
My daughters are way better than your daughter and son
Not to mention your mother, who only weights a ton
What's up with your wife of yours, she's totally Red
Her hair looks like an ox took a crap on her head!
You're lucky my wife's long dead and gone
Cause if she was here today, she'd chop off your d**g
I've got Uncle Jesse and Joey, my two close friends
They always back me up all through the end
If they were here right now, they go totally insano
And clean and ring you dry like my favorite Drano
I'll wash you down and clean you out
So I can get rid of that crack-sniffing snout
This is Danny T, and you're a diseased prude
What would Michelle react to you with herpes? She'd say...
*Michelle comes out* You got it, dude!
Al Bundy:
This is Al Bundy, representing Chicago
Standing with a p***k who smells like an avacado
Only if that avacado smelled of crotch rot and dog pee
Which smells really worser than my neighbor Marcy
I scored four touchdowns in one game
Way better than your bulls**t rhymes, which are so lame
They're so lame, I'd want to drop f**king dead
Just like your wife, who's legs I'd so totally spread
You talking about my wife? You aren't really alone
She drives me to the grave with a empty bank loan
Her red hair's big like an A-bomb on steroids
Looking at that, it makes me die from hemorroids
What about your smile, it looks so frickin' retarded
Makes your family so depressed, they just frickin' farted
If I was Psycho Dad, I'd so totally kill you
Like my rhymes and a shotgun that totally blows through
I like hooters, chicks and beer cause it is my thing
And I ate your ass apart like chicken wings
The name's Al Bundy, and I'm your seven-year itch
This isn't Full House, you're in Bundy's world, bitch!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC EVER AFTER RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!