This is a story about love, friendship, tragedy and how one thing can change everything else in your life. There is not one thing in particular; it's about all those things. I usually write Alex/Casey as a couple, but in this story it's Alex/Olivia with Casey as Alex's best friend. Friendship is sometimes as important as a romantic relationship. Alex and Casey do not get together romantically in this story but their relationship is still important.
Timeline is the current season, except I go against canon. Alex and Casey are still ADAs. Pre "Sunk Cost Fallacy," this leads up to it and is a different take on how Alex became how she is now.
Two months. The wedding is in two months.
Alex had tried not to be stressed about it. She tried to enjoy the planning, picturing what it was going to be like walking down the aisle and seeing Olivia, knowing she was going to spend the rest of her life with her.
They are planning an outdoor wedding in Central Park. Every day she prays that the weather cooperates and doesn't ruin the celebration they have planned. Flowers and catering is taken care of, and everything is falling into place as it should.
Alex's life has been pretty good the past few years. Nine years ago when she returned to Manhattan everything was uncertain. She was still so traumatized, so frightened of every noise and every stranger who looked at her in a questionable manner.
Slowly she began to rebuild her life and her career. She fell back into her old prosecutor job, and she and Olivia finally decided to date. Olivia has helped her open up and overcome her past. She's given her love and understanding, something Alex never thought she'd have. They've had their ups and downs but have always been there for each other and Alex never questions her love. She can't wait to become her wife.
Her friends have helped her heal as well. At least once a week she goes out with the 'old squad' for drinks - Finn, Munch, Amanda, Dominic, Casey, and of course Olivia. They let loose and have a great time. It always helps Alex unwind after a stressful week.
Alex owes a great deal of healing to her best friend, Casey Novak. Casey always knows the right thing to say, and she's great at listening. She's funny and can always make Alex laugh, whether she means to or not. Alex spends a lot of time with her and considers her to be her 'second favorite person in the world' - right after Olivia.
Olivia and Alex have been exploring the possibility of having a family. After discussing it at length, they decided to look for a surrogate and to use Alex's egg. They searched for months, but neither were too comfortable trusting someone they didn't know to be responsible enough to carry their child. They even went through a surrogacy service and still didn't feel right about it.
Then one day Casey came to their apartment and said she needed to have a serious talk with them. A serious talk from Casey is usually not good, and Alex had been nervous. But she and Olivia had been surprised when Casey selflessly offered to be their surrogate.
For a year they tried; Olivia and Alex spending loads of money on all the procedures and tests, Casey getting painful shots that would make her sick for days afterwards. But it just didn't happen for them; it just wouldn't take. And after a year of disappointment they decided to stop.
Olivia was the most heartbroken; she had wanted a baby of her own so much for so long. It was hard for Alex to convince her it was best to stop, to not put themselves or Casey through any more. They decided to explore adoption after they were married.
Casey had been equally as upset; she felt she failed them. She never once complained about any of the procedures and was looking forward to giving her best friends the most amazing gift in the world.
Alex and Olivia never once made Casey feel like it was her fault. They were beyond grateful to her for even offering to do such an amazing thing for them.
Alex never knew true friendship until then. Sure she's had acquaintances in the past, and did consider Casey to be her best friend, but until then she never really knew what it meant. How deep it could be. Casey being so selfless and happy to help them made her realize it was possible to love another person like family. Olivia was already her family, but she had room in her heart for another.
She considered Casey her sister after that, and knew she would do anything for her.
The two women are her family, and she's beyond grateful to have them both.
It's taken years to get to this point in her life. It's taken hard work, heartbreak, becoming someone else entirely, regrets and pain. She's struggled, but yet she wouldn't change anything that's happened in her life; it's only made her who she is today.
And that person is happy and content.
Alex can't help but think about the good things in her life as she sits in her office wrapping up paperwork Friday afternoon. She doesn't have court today and tends to knock off earlier and head to the precinct to see if she can spring her fiancee early as well.
She has plans tonight to take Casey out for her birthday but she intends to see Olivia first.
Alex is looking forward to the weekend. For once Olivia doesn't have to work, and the two intend to spend the entire weekend together.
When she arrives at the precinct Olivia's office door is open. That usually means she's not working on anything super important; and even if she was, she would take time out to see Alex.
Alex gives a wave to Amanda who is seated at her desk, and then saunters right into Olivia's office.
Olivia immediately looks up from her laptop, peering at Alex over her glasses. A smile instantly forms on her lips and she stands to embrace the blonde as Alex comes around the desk to her side.
"Hey beautiful," Olivia says after greeting her with a small kiss. "What brings you here so early?"
"I wrapped up at the office and wanted to see if I could steal you away early. I still have a couple hours before Casey is coming over." She looks down at the papers on Olivia's desk. "Going to be much longer, love?"
Olivia smiles and shuts down her laptop, quickly tidying up the paperwork on her desk into manageable piles. "I can be done. Nothing that can't wait until Monday. What are you and Casey going to do?"
"She wants to go to a movie and I told her she could pick. I'm probably in for a superhero or horror movie for sure. You want to join us? You are certainly welcome to."
Olivia shakes her head. She isn't as close to Casey as Alex is, and the two often butt heads professionally. It's not that she dislikes Casey; in fact, she likes her very much and is appreciative of the fact that Casey is such a good friend to Alex. She just doesn't spend as much time with her as Alex does.
"Don't want to infringe on your 'date' with your BFF. Besides, I told Amanda I would babysit for her tonight. You guys can come by her place after the movie and see Jessie if you'd like."
Alex nods. They may do that. She goes in for another kiss as Olivia gets up from her desk.
Olivia talks to her squad and grabs her jacket. She walks hand in hand with Alex out of the building and once they've reached the parking Olivia can't help but look at Alex.
Alex is so confident and strong, and it makes Olivia's heart soar every time she looks at her.
"I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk before we head home. We haven't done that in awhile and it's such a nice day."
They start to walk, chatting away about their days. Alex tells Olivia about a tough case she's working on, and Olivia listens the way she always does and offers words of support.
And then Olivia says something that shocks Alex, something that almost makes her stop walking.
"I'd like to try again for a baby."
Alex misses a beat but manages to hide the surprise on her face as she looks at Olivia. They haven't talked about it in awhile, not since they agreed to visit the possibility of adoption when the time was right. And they had spoken of an older child that needed a home.
Olivia can see the shock written on her fiance's face. "I'm not getting any younger, Alex. Neither are you."
"Right. I just - thought we had already decided to wait until after we were married. I'm not opposed to it, Liv, you know I want a child too. We can definitely look into adopting a baby if that's what you want."
But Alex knows as soon as she says it that it's not what Olivia wants. She had said try for a baby again.
"You mean you want me to ask Casey if she wants to try again, don't you? I don't want to do that, Liv. As much as I want a child of our own, I can't go through that again. And neither can you, or Casey. We were all so upset when it didn't work. And Casey got so sick from the shots. She would do it again, no doubt, but I can't ask her Liv. I'm sorry."
Olivia smiles and stops walking, stepping in front of Alex and touching her cheek gently. "I love how you're so passionate about those you care about. And I would never dream of asking Casey. What she did and wanted to do for us was amazing. However, Amanda did mention she would be interested in helping us out. She's young, she's had a baby before. I think it would be good odds. That is, if you want."
Alex smiles. She likes the idea of a little Alex or Olivia running around. But Amanda? She considers Amanda a friend but isn't sure how much she could trust her. Casey she had no doubts at all about trusting her, but Amanda she doesn't know well enough.
Olivia can sense her hesitation. "We don't have to decide now. Let's revisit this at a later time, okay? I just wanted to put feelers out to find out how you may feel about it."
How does she feel about it? Hopeful. About everything, really. She has such a bright future with so many people she loves, and the prospect of a family of her own.
What more could she possibly want?
.2
Theres a knock on the apartment for, and Olivia answers it to reveal a smiling Casey standing in the hallway.
"Miss Benson, can Alex come out and play?" Casey asks with a grin.
Olivia holds the door open with a laugh. "Hey, Casey. Happy birthday. Good to see you."
Casey steps inside, and it's very apparent from her apparel what movie she is subjecting Alex to. She's wearing an Avengers t-shirt, and is holding another one in her hand.
"Alex, your BFF is here," Olivia calls into the bathroom. She turns her attention to Casey. "She's doing her hair. It will be five or six hours."
Casey rolls her eyes and doesn't even hesitate. She opens the bathroom door and barges right in.
Alex is holding the curling iron, and turns around and looks at Casey as she approaches her. Casey takes the curling iron away from her and puts it down on the counter.
"You're beautiful," Casey says. "No matter what you do. We're just going to the movies, you don't need to look like you're going to a photoshoot."
Alex grabs the curling iron with an amused look. "You just barge in? What if I was on the toilet?"
Casey rolls her eyes. "You kind of have to take charge when it comes to getting you away from hair products." She looks at Alex's pink silk blouse disapprovingly and tosses the T-shirt at Alex. "And you're inappropriately attired. This is better."
Alex can't help but chuckle as she accepts the ugly graphic tee from Casey.
Casey definitely amuses her. She is so completely different outside of work. No one would ever suspect that the professional well-dressed ADA Casey Novak has a closet full of Star Wars and suphero shirts.
Alex secretly likes the suphero movies that Casey drags her to. But she will never admit it.
"Come on. Let's go. I'd like to go before my next birthday please."
Alex ignores her and flicks Casey's hair. "You should do something different with your hair."
Casey stares at herself in the mirror. She's always felt her hair was boring, no matter what she did to it. "Like what?"
Alex studies her hair and picks up her hairbrush, brushing out Casey's long red hair. "You should braid it."
"I don't know how to braid." Casey bats Alex's hands away from her. "I can brush my own hair, thank you, and I'm already ready to go."
Alex stops brushing and looks at Casey in the mirror. "You don't know how to braid? Really, Casey?"
Casey nods sheepishly. "Do I get my woman card revoked?"
Alex rummages around in her drawers and puts her hand on Casey's shoulder. "Sit."
Casey groans. "Alex, no. I want to go to the movie."
"We'll go to a later show - now sit."
When Alex Cabot tells you to do something, you do it. So Casey sits.
Alex spends the next forty five minutes playing with Casey's hair like she's a human sized doll. Casey squirms and complains every time Alex pulls her hair.
"Stop fidgeting! I'll never get done. You're worse than a kid, Casey."
Casey groans again. "Are you almost done?"
"Yes. Now sit still. You'll like the finished product, I promise."
Olivia is standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, watching them in amusement. Casey looks at her with a silent plea for help, to which Olivia shakes her head.
"I'm real sorry that Alex is doing this to you, Casey." Olivia laughs. "Alex, she looks like she's twelve."
Alex frowns in concentration. "Yeah she's acting like it too." Casey fidgets and complains again. "Casey, stop!"
Casey mumbles something under her breath and Alex pulls her hair in retaliation.
Finally Alex seems to be finished, and stands back and looks at her handiwork, satisfied.
"I'm done. It looks good." She picks up a hand mirror and hands it to Casey so she can actually see.
Casey didn't think she'd like it, but she does. The tight braid will take some getting used to, but she thinks it looks good and Alex did a great job. Everything she does is always perfect.
Alex puts a few finishing touches on her own hair and as Casey exits the bathroom, Alex puts on her Avengers shirt. It's the exact same one Casey has and Alex shakes her head as she joins Casey in the hallway.
"I'm guess we're going to the new Avengers? Bet we will be the oldest people there."
Casey quickly shakes her head. "Guarantee you we won't be."
They find Olivia in the kitchen, heating some water on a burner. Alex approaches her and slides an arm around her waist, stealing a kiss.
"You sure you don't want to join us, babe?" Alex asks Olivia.
Olovia shakes her head. "You two go have fun. I promised Amanda I would babysit. You can bring me back some popcorn though."
Alex nods and kisses Olivia goodbye. Olivia straightens Alex's collar and smiles at her.
On their way out the door Alex grabs a gift bag off the table and hands it to Casey in the hallway.
Casey is like a kid when it comes to presents. She rips it open before they are even in the lobby of Alex's building. The careful wrapping that Alex did all undone within minutes.
When Casey sees what the present is, she glares at Alex. "An iPad Pro? Really, Alex? This is too much."
Alex shakes her head and smiles. "You still use that ancient laptop. It's time you stepped up. I think you'll love it."
Casey sighs. She absolutely loves it; it's something she will get a lot of use out of and something she would never buy for herself. But she wishes Alex hadn't spent so much money on her.
"I do love it, Alex, but that's a lot of money…"
Alex shakes her head. "Don't even worry about it. I wanted to get it for you. You're a really good friend, Casey. The best friend anyone could ever ask for. You deserve it."
Casey sighs again. "But Alex -"
"Can you just accept it and say thank you, please?"
Casey knows how much Alex - and Olivia , but especially Alex - care about her and appreciate her.
Casey smiles. She really is appreciative; it just makes her feel uncomfortable when people make a big deal about her and give her gifts.
She hugs Alex tightly. "Thank you. I love it."
.3
"I want popcorn. And let's not share popcorn, because you always put too much of that white cheddar flavor crap on it," Alex tells Casey while they are standing in the concessions line at the theater. She's looking at the menu on the screen above the counter. "And I'll actually do a soda today."
"Wow. That's a first. You're having a soda? I'm going to remember this day." Casey looks at the menu as well and starts to say something else, but something makes her stops dead in her tracks.
Casey's face goes pale and she grips her purse tightly. The sheer terror on her face immediately concerns Alex and she tries to follow her gaze, but sees nothing alarming.
"Casey...are you okay?"
Casey shakes her head and swallows harshly. Her hands are trembling, and it doesn't go unnoticed by the blonde.
She's never seen Casey scared before.
"What is it?" Alex asks softly, placing a hand on her shoulder when she doesn't answer. "Casey, talk to me."
Casey snaps out of her daze and meets Alex's eyes. Casey's eyes are wide in fear and shock. "Let's go to another theater - please."
"The next nearest one is twenty minutes away." Alex follows her gaze again and sees a man working behind the concessions counter staring them down. She doesn't recognize him, but the way he's looking chills her right down to the bone.
Casey shakes her head again. "I - I have to get out of here. I'm going to be sick."
Without another word she leaves the line quickly, bolting for the doors. Alex follows her, having trouble matching her stride despite being long-legged.
They just make it to the parking lot when Casey bends over and puts her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath and fight the feeling of nausea rising up in her.
Alex is very concerned now and stands beside Casey, a hand on her back. "Breathe. You're okay. Calm down and tell me what's going on."
It takes Casey a few minutes to recover. Once the wave of nausea dissipates and her heart rate returns to normal, she stands up and attempts to pull herself together.
"I'm so sorry," she says softly, embarrassed for how she behaved.
Alex smiles at her - that genuine Alex Cabot smile that many people don't get to see. She reserves it for special occasions and people she cares about. When you receive it, you know you're special to Alex.
"It's okay. Are you okay? I've never seen you look like that. I saw that guy behind the stand staring at you. Who was that?"
Casey pauses before she speaks. "Charlie. It was Charlie."
Alex feels like someone punched her in the stomach. No wonder Casey was so terrified. She can't even imagine how she must be feeling right now.
Alex knows everything that happened between Casey and Charlie, all the horrible things he did to her and how Casey had to leave him to save herself. It's been years since Casey saw him; she had no idea what had happened to him since that day she packed her car and left.
"He has a job now. Maybe he's on his meds," Alex offers up softly, not really knowing what to say to make this situation better.
"Maybe," Casey says, unconvinced. "But maybe not. And I'd rather avoid him, so let's remember not to come here anymore, okay?"
Alex follows Casey to the car and neither speak a word. Alex searches for the right words to say to make her best friend feel better, but they don't exist.
"Want to go to the other theater or do you want to do something else?" Alex asks. She wants to talk about it with Casey, but knows her well enough to know she's not going to talk about it right now.
"I really don't feel like doing anything now." Casey turns and looks at Alex, wringing her hands together. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to take me out for my birthday. But it was just - such a shock to see him. Can you just take me home?"
Alex thinks for a moment and then starts up the car. "Okay. But I'm going to hang out there with you."
Casey doesn't feel much like company but doesn't object. She knows Alex would stay no matter what she said anyway.
They don't talk on the way back to Casey's apartment. Casey leans her head against the cold window, chewing on her bottom lip until she can taste blood in her mouth.
Seeing Charlie again after all these years has shaken her. He had met her eyes and recgoniction flashed across his face and Casey had felt chilled to the bone.
She had loved Charlie; she really did. And when you love someone you never really let them go. Despite all the times he hurt her - physically and mentally - it broke her heart to leave him. It still makes her sad inside when she thinks about it now, and actually seeing him reignited the guilt flame inside her that's been carrying around for years.
Even though she had loved him and is still wracked with guilt, Casey is terrified of him. Not much scares her. Not scary movies, not bugs or walking by herself in the city after dark, or heights or fast rides.
But Charlie? He scares her in a way she's never been scared before. Because she knows what he's capable of, knows what he's like when the switch is off. Knows how he can't help himself.
Alex could be right. He is working after all, so maybe he's being treated. Maybe he's accepted help this time.
Casey jumps when a hand touches hers, and quickly calms when she looks across the car and sees Alex smiling at her.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." Alex nods towards Casey's apartment building, and Casey snaps out of her daze.
"I'm sorry," she mutters, opening the car door and following Alex inside.
Alex has a key to Casey's apartment so she lets them inside as Casey follows her like a programmed robot. Once inside she flops down on the couch.
Alex goes into the bedroom and calls Olivia. Casey can hear her talking softly, no doubt telling Olivia what happened and how Casey is a basket case now. Casey remains seated on the couch and Alex returns a few minutes later with a smile.
"So it looks like I'm going to cramp your style tonight and stay here."
"You don't have to," Casey argues. "I know you and Liv were looking forward to being together. Don't stay on my account; I'm fine, really."
When Alex Cabot has made up her mind, there is no changing it; no matter who you are. And Casey knows this. Truth be told she doesn't really want to be alone, but she's too proud to say that to Alex.
Alex turns on the TV and they start watching some dumb movie on Lifetime. Alex doesn't push Casey to talk. She knows she best thing to do when Casey is upset is let her be and just be there for support. When she wants to talk, she will. You can't prod her too much or she will clam up completely.
After a couple hours of near silence, Alex steals a look at Casey. She's lying on the couch with a hoodie on over her Avengers tee, hugging a decorative pillow from the couch against her. She notices Alex looking and meets her eyes.
"You have that 'i'm going to lecture you' look on your face," Casey comments.
"I'm going to say one more thing about Charlie then I am never mentioning him again." Casey sits up and nervously brushes her hair behind her ears.
"I know it shook you to see him. But he's in the past, Casey, and that's where you need to leave him. You're past that part of your life and you have people who love you and would never hurt you." She reaches out and squeezes Casey's hand. "Let Charlie go. Let any residual guilt you have go. You did what you had to do. And I'm glad you did."
Casey nods slowly. She knows this is true. Charlie is not a subject she likes to discuss. She never even seeked counseling to deal with her feelings about him. She never spoke to her family about him, or any of her friends. She preferred to keep it all inside.
Olivia and Alex are the first people she felt comfortable enough with to tell them everything that happened. Even then there were things she held back for Olivia's sake, but told Alex. She always knew she could trust her.
"I'm really fortunate to have you for a friend; thank you," Casey says with a smile. "You know, back when I was with White Collar Crimes, you were the ADA that everyone talked about. Everyone aspired to be as good as you were. I admired you then, and I still do."
Alex blushes slightly. She doesn't take compliments well. "Thank you. But you shouldn't aspire to be like anyone else; you're great the way you are. And I'm glad we're friends too."
The first chapter is just establishing where Alex is in her life and her relationships. Will be more in depth from here on out. I promise you a good ride! Any predictions so far?