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Haunted
By: ChoCedric
Ginny Weasley is overwhelmed by memories as she lies in her bed at the Burrow. It is a few days after her first year has ended, and she feels the memories sweep over her. She doesn't understand why or how, but she misses him terribly.
Tom Riddle. The boy who caused her more agony and pain than anyone has in her entire life. Growing up, she'd always wanted to have a friend who could sympathize with her every fear, her every wish. She remembers nights at the Burrow before she started Hogwarts, wishing that a knight in shining armor would come and rescue her. She lay cradled in peace, no bad memories of that day to haunt her, but still yearned for that one person who could complete her. Hearing the stories about Harry Potter filled her with hope for a bright future, for a day when she could be loved unconditionally by a handsome prince. And she thought she had found that person in Tom.
When she started Hogwarts, she felt so unsure. All her brothers seemed to know what they were doing, and it was as though she had no clue. Now, as she lies awake with tears dripping down her face, she is bombarded by the memories of confessing her fears to Tom Riddle. She is reminded of his soothing handwriting telling her everything would be all right. She recalls when he started to show up in her dreams, and they were always in the chamber; she, of course, didn't know what the room was at the time. She didn't like it much, but Tom told her he was stuck there, so she just dealt with it. After all, she was ecstatic and thrilled to see her friend.
She wishes now that she would have told someone about Tom sooner, but her euphoria at finally finding an understanding friend made her keep it to herself. She remembers her heart racing with worry after she kept blacking out; she thought she was going insane. But Tom would hold her through the night and kiss her tears away, reassuring her that she was doing nothing wrong. Even when Hagrid's chickens turned up dead and students kept getting petrified, how could she have thought it was Tom making her do those actions?
Her mind goes back to the time when she threw the diary in Moaning Myrtle's toilet. She had begun to grow suspicious about the diary, even though she'd trusted Tom. One day they had fought, because Tom had been in a very depressed and angry mood. She remembers Percy telling her that she didn't look right, that she was always pale and drawn. She hated the thought of giving Tom up, but whenever she questioned him about the students' petrification, there was a glint in Tom's eyes which she just could not place. He was the perfect, handsome gentleman who swept her off her feet, but sometimes it just felt too good to be true. That's why she threw it away.
And then Harry got a hold of it. Harry, the one who she used to think was her dazzling handsome prince, but he seemed totally uninterested in her. She ran to his dorm room and stole the diary back from him, terrified that Tom would do something to him or that all her secrets would be spilled to him. Against her better judgment, she started writing in the diary again, and Tom apologized profusely for the fight they had. Things went back to normal, with Tom promising to protect her always.
She begins to cry harder as she recalls the events that ended her very first deep friendship. Tom betrayed her, ripped her heart right out of her chest. She thought he was the one person she could rely on, the one person who could help her through her problems and guide her to be a better person. But he was completely the opposite. She remembers struggling and weeping as he made her write a goodbye message on the wall. Then he made her remember every single time she was possessed by him. She remembered murdering the chickens and petrifying Mrs. Norris, Nearly Headless Nick, and the innocent students. Tom had made her forget about all those times before; that's why she had experienced memory blanks throughout the year, on the nights those events occurred.
She thought she could trust Tom. She thought he was the friend she'd wished for all those years of her childhood. She remembers his cruel voice at the end, informing her that she'd caused all the damage to Hogwarts and that she was going to die. She was absolutely horror-stricken to learn that he was Lord Voldemort. She trembles and shakes as she is engulfed by the memory of him saying that once he was himself again, he would slaughter her entire family and Harry Potter, her so-called hero. Guilt churns inside her as she remembers him taunting, "Harry Potter will come, believe me. He may not care about you, for you are nothing but a waste of time and a stupid little girl. But his heroics will spurn him to save your pathetic life. And he will die all because of you, for I shall defeat him!"
Nobody understands how she feels. Dumbledore thought she would feel better with a mug of hot chocolate and some tender loving care. Her family scold her for writing in the diary in the first place. But don't they understand how alone she feels now? She is living without Tom, the one true friend she thought would be there for a lifetime. But he deserted her, abandoned her, left her for dead. She remembers him kissing her tenderly in the chamber before sleep claimed her, saying, "Thank you, little Ginevra, for your sweet innocence. You have made me a strong wizard again, and that, I must commend you for." She feels sick as she thinks of his pretend kindness.
She will forever be haunted by his ghost. To have Lord Voldemort inside your head is something she can try to block out, but she'll never be truly rid of the memories. He possessed her heart of innocence, destroyed her wide-eyed wonder, and she is now more grown up than a girl like her should be at her age. She has started writing in a diary again, but it is just empty pages now; there is no reassuring and comforting presence to write back. How can she miss the boy who ruined her life? How can she miss the cruelest, most evil Dark Lord in a century?
But she vows to herself that she will not let him pull her down, that she will find a way to get through this. Nobody understands, so she will make her own way. Maybe one day she and Harry can bond over the experience, for both of them have now been affected by the same awful wizard. She can't express how grateful she is for him saving her life; no words can reveal that sentiment. As the last of her tears leak out of her eyes, she says a silent prayer for Tom Riddle, that he will find redemption somehow. She knows what kind of a person he could have been, and wonders what went wrong in his life to make him turn out the way he did. Tom, I still love you, and I'm sorry I couldn't help you, is her last thought. And little Ginevra Molly Weasley will never forget.
