The Justice Playmates

by McGeesJabberwock

Super Grover creates an alliance of superheroes played by characters from little kiddie shows. When they are unsuccessful at saving the day, a certain figure suggests some 'improvements'.

So my earlier fanfic The Sesame Street Super Special got read out on Pretentious Internet Theatre (pretentiousinternettheatre (dot) podbean (dot) com (slash) 2011 (slash) 10 (slash) 01 (slash) episode-39-no-crisis-here-sesame-street-super-special (slash)) and thus I was impulsed to do this sequel. The Justice League crossed with little kiddie shows! Don't look at me like that.

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Through the crumbling, rain-splattered streets of Blotham City, a dark shadow crept, observing every ruined building, every corner of this forsaken city, for any signs of evil. It leapt across rooftops, scoured every alleyway, and used its wing-like cape to glide across roads, to make sure the criminals of this city knew it was about. This figure was the Dark Explorer, and despite being a pre-teen girl dressed like a bat, the murderers, thieves and rapists of this city all feared her and the punishment she would bring forth. Leaping from a ledge, she came across a decaying building, covered in graffiti and neglect.

'There's a hostage in that building,' said the Dark Explorer, 'Do you know what I do when there's a hostage?' She paused for a while. 'Right! I rescue the hostage and deliver immense pain upon the kidnapper!' With that, the Dark Explorer burst through a cracked window, welcomed by the sounds of a man crying for help. Standing among pieces of broken glass, Dora looked up to see a cop tied up above a vat of bubbling acid. Behind him was a large screen, which lit up to reveal a hairy, yellow creature wearing a green bowler hat and suit.

'I'm the Grumpy Riddler, who commits wicked crimes!' sang the creature, 'I'm the Grumpy Riddler, and I ain't doing no time! Hey! If you want to save the cop, all you gotta do is this! All you gotta do is this! Solve my riddle!'

Shaking her fist at the screen, the Dark Explorer replied, 'Okay then.'

The Grumpy Riddler cleared his throat as if about to deliver a rousing speech, and said, 'When is a door not a door?'

'Do you know?' said the Dark Explorer, turning away. A minute was spent staring into space before she answered, 'When you put it through a woodchipper. Then it's not a door anymore, it's a bunch of wood chips.'

A loud laugh echoed throughout the room. 'I'm sorry,' said the Grumpy Riddler, 'That's the wrong answer!' The Riddler then pressed a button and the cop fell into the acid, screaming and writhing. 'Hah! You failed to save the hostage! A hostage with a wife who loves him dearly, as well as two children! Now I'm going to explain in great detail his family life!'

'Oh no!' cried Grover Kent, throwing down his controller, 'These riddles are far too hard!' His mother had bought him a copy of The Dark Explorer: Barkham City for his birthday, in spite of the fact that he had had a bad experience with the Dark Explorer as Super Grover.

Yes, Grover Kent was Super Grover, a superhero from the planet Grovtron, who had dedicated his life to doing just as his mother did years ago; protecting the citizens of Metro City from all manner of evil villains. But when he was not flying around with a goofy knight's helmet and cape, he was doorknob salesman Grover Kent. Well, he wasn't really a doorknob salesman anymore; he had been let go due to the economy. He was still Super Grover, though, even if he had been killed on an adventure fighting the evil overlord Cookseid. He had been resurrected by some emo guy punching the universe.

'Grover, honey,' said Grover's mother, entering the room, 'is everything alright?'

'Oh no, mommy,' said Grover, covering his face with his furry hand, 'This game is very hard. And if I can't save virtual people, how can I save real people?'

'Oh, come on,' said Grover's mother, sitting beside Grover, 'You're a good superhero.'

'Mommy,' said Grover, 'Don't you remember those incidents with Grex Groucher and Bertiac? Where you had to save me? And when I died?'

'All superheroes die, honey. That's a good thing, it raises comic book sales.'

Grover turned off his game and switched to a television channel, which was on the 'Convenient News Broadcast Channel'. 'This just in, famed criminal Toybear is robbing the Metro City Porridge Factory...'

'There you go, Grover,' said Grover's mother, 'You can save the city from Toybear. You can do that, can't you?'

Swallowing his self-doubt, Grover leapt onto his feet. 'Yes, yes I can. I am Super Grover, famed hero and role-model to children everywhere. I'll stop Toybear and his nefarious plan, and Metro City will be safe once more.' So, Grover rushed to his bedroom and put on his knight helmet and cape and symbol. Admiring himself to increase his confidence, Grover flew out of the window towards the Porridge Factory.

At that place, all the employees were tied up by unbreakable skipping ropes, forced to watch as robot teddy bears loaded up a truck with porridge, as their master commanded them to with his remote control. 'Mwah hah hah,' cackled Toybear, a brown bear donning a bowtie and waistcoat, 'Soon aw da powwidge in da city will be mine!'

'Not so fast!' came a voice from above, which made Toybear look upwards. Through the ceiling crashed Super Grover, standing triumphantly as he stared at the bear. 'Stealing porridge is not a nice thing to do. Lots of people need porridge to help them keep warm on cold winter da...AGH!' Just as Super Grover was making his corny speech, a robot teddy bear leapt up behind him and slammed him face-first onto the ground. 'Oh come on, I've been practising this speech for months just in case something like this happens!' Despite his protests, Super Grover still found himself tied up by unbreakable skipping rope. As much as he struggled, he couldn't get his arms free. 'As much as I struggle,' cried Super Grover, 'something something something.'

'Um, yeah,' said Toybear, 'But now, dear supo-hewo, no-won will stop me!'

'Oh dear,' said Super Grover, sobbing like the reader should be doing at this moment, 'I, Super Grover, really am not as good a superhero as I thought I was. I can't use my powers to stop evil. I'm not the hero Metro City should have. I'm nothing.'

'Oh, fow piteh's sake,' said Toybear, massaging his temples, 'Not anudder won.'

'What do you mean?'

'Evewy supo-hewo I've faced has been feeling sowwy for themselves. Just yedderday, I was building a powwidge stealing satelwite, and Purple Dinosaur came to stop me. When his powah wing malfunctioned, he whined about how nobody loved him. Da day before dat, I stole all the powwidge from Lazytown and Flashacus tried to stop me. When he was stopping me, Gorilla Grobbie Grotten got away wit all da health food and then Flashacus whined bout how useless he was. Now you're doing it!'

'I'm sorry,' said Super Grover, 'but I understood very little of what you just said.'

'Oh, nuts to dis!' Toybear threw his arms in the air, and commanded his robot teddy bears to unload the porridge from his truck and to untie the hostages. Then he left, leaving Super Grover to ponder on what Toybear just said.

'So, all the superheroes have low self-esteem,' said Grover to himself, 'that is indeed a shame. I suppose, no little kiddie show character is an island, after all. I doubt the Dark Explorer does though, she is far too grouchy to ever feel bad for herself.' As Super Grover flew away from the factory, he suddenly had a brainwave. 'That's it! Super Grover is meant to help others with their problems, so why can't I help the other little kiddie show superheroes?'

So when Grover went back home, he logged onto Facebook and created a group for superheroes based on little kiddie shows. As little likes as it got, he still set up an event for any heroes of the group to meet at his mother's apartment, where they would discuss superheroics and saving the day over a nice pizza.

Surprisingly enough, Super Grover actually got some responses. First he got a comment from superpowered teletubby Wonder Winkie saying he couldn't come because he was too busy falling down. There was another comment from none other than The Dark Explorer, saying "What do I do when I get an invitation like that? Oh wait, I already know. Reject it." Still, Flashacus and the Purple Dinosaur said they would come to the first meeting of the Justice Playmates.

The day of the meeting soon came, with Grover's mother offering to make cookies, but Grover refusing, remembering that they were the fuel of Cookseid. He still checked that the kitchen was presentable enough for a meeting of superheroes, straightening out a crooked family portrait and placing a lovely vase of flowers in the middle of the table. He also made sure to call Dominoes about twenty minutes before the meeting was about to start.

Soon enough, the two heroes that said they would come made their appearance. There was Purple Dinosaur, a member of the Goofy Dinosaur Corps, known for his power ring that could conjure up anything he could imagine. The purple reptile was then followed by Flashacus, the fastest man alive who was dedicated to promoting healthy living.

'Before we get started,' said Flashacus, 'You do know you basically put up a big clue to your secret identity on the internet, do you, Super Grover?'

'No! I am not Grover Kent! He just has a nice home so that's why...'

'Relax!' replied Flashacus, 'I think everybody figured out your secret identity long ago.'

'Oh dear,' said Super Grover, 'Well, anyway, let us sit at the tibble-tabble in the kitchen where we will figure out how to make ourselves better heroes!' At this, Purple Dinosaur held his head in his hands and began to sob. 'What is wrong, Purple Dinosaur?'

'I-I've tried everything to make myself a better superhero,' said Purple Dinosaur, 'but nothing's working!'

'Well,' said Grover, 'You did get a movie, so you must be doing something right.'

Purple Dinosaur began to sob even harder. 'Have you got any liquor?'

'Liquor? We are nice superheroes! We do not promote the consumption of alcohol! You should know, Flashacus.'

'I keep telling kids that alcohol is bad for them, yes,' said Flashacus as he got out a flask from his pocket, 'but when my arch-nemesis' song is more popular than my many deeds, I can't help myself.'

Super Grover snatched the flask away. 'Stop that! If we are to improve our image, we must be sober! We must set an example for children everywhere! We must be good and kind and decent people!'

'I tried being good,' cried Purple Dinosaur, 'yet I remain a pariah.'

'Alone you may have problems,' said Super Grover, placing a hand on Purple Dinosaur's shoulder, 'but together, we will be powerful and child-friendly!' Super Grover raised his fist into the air to emphasise his point, but then heard a knock on the door. 'Ah, that must be the pizza!'

It wasn't. Instead at the door was a small pony, almost completely draped in a red and blue costume with a spider pattern on, with a purple mane and a unicorn horn poking out. 'Is this the first meeting of the Justice Playmates?'

'Why indeed it is, little pony!'

'Oh no!' cried Purple Dinosaur as he saw who it was, 'The Twilight Spider!'

'Um,' said the Twilight Spider, arching an eyebrow, 'yeah. I was hoping to join your group...'

'No way!' yelled Purple Dinosaur, using his power ring to create a giant hand, which pressed itself against Twilight Spider's face. 'This club is for little kiddie shows only! Your comics are read by adults!'

'What the heck? My show airs after yours on one station!'

'Excuse me for a minute, little pony,' said Grover as he turned to Purple Dinosaur. 'You know this pony?'

'You don't? While Flashacus and I have been mocked and treated like shit by everyone for trying to save their asses...'

'Language, please!'

'She's been operating for about a year and everyone's all "Oh, look at the sweet little crimefighting pony! Let's make her our new Lord and Savior!" Gah!'

'Yeah,' said Twilight Spider, 'but I really think I can be of use.'

'Oh yeah!' cried Purple Dinosaur, 'You use your sparkly little spider-magic and make everything better while legions of slobbering fanboys kiss your mystical ass and make you fanart and make music videos!'

'Well,' said Twilight Spider, looking away, 'If this is the way I'm going to be greeted, I'll just forget it.' And off she trotted.

Grover growled in frustration. 'What was that? We need all the members we can get and you just turned a potential one away!'

'But don't you know what superhero she's parodying? She'll ruin the theme we have going!'

'Gentlemen, please,' cried Flashacus, 'Look, Purple Dinosaur, I know it's hard for us in this day and age, but Super Grover has a point! I believe if we are optimistic, we'll be better heroes!'

'Of course!' said Super Grover, 'I think if we go out and find some evil right now, we'll feel much better!' As he said this, he pulled out a little gadget from his invisible pocket. 'This is a crime-detector I picked up on EBay! When something evil is happening, this will tell us!' As Super Grover turned it on, it began to beep, and text came up on its tiny screen. 'Ah-ha! Here we go,' said Super Grover, 'Grex Groucher is polluting the city's water supply with garbage!'

'You mean we have to go face your villain?' grumbled Purple Dinosaur.

'We work as a team!' cried Super Grover, 'that is what this is about, remember?'

'Well,' said Purple Dinosaur, sighing, 'if you think it'll help me.'

So the three heroes sped off and soon enough, they had reached Grex Groucher, the green grouch in a business suit, tipping rubbish and garbage into the city's water supply. 'Hold it!' cried Super Grover, pulling a dramatic pose.

'Well, well, well,' said Grex, shaking his head. 'Super Grover! And you brought two of your friends with you!' Stepping away from the water for a while, Grex got a closer look. 'Hey, Flashacus! I'm a big fan of yours!'

'Really?'

'Yeah! I hate candy! It's too cheerful and cutesy! Someone promoting boring health food is tops in my books!'

Holding his nose, Flashacus added, 'I also promote taking baths!'

Purple Dinosaur then held up his ring and used it to create a giant hammer with which to clobber Grex Groucher, but Groucher got out his garbage gun. When he shot garbage in Purple Dinosaur's face, it broke his concentration and the hammer disappeared. Flashacus sped towards Grex in retaliation, but Grex stepped out of the way, making Flashacus fall into the polluted water.

'You hurt my friends!' cried Super Grover, 'Now it isn't very nice to hurt people, especially with garbage. Garbage contains lots of germs...' A huge blob of garbage then hit Super Grover in the face, sending him stumbling over backwards. 'Okay, if you want to play rough!' Super Grover then rose with arms uplifted, throwing the garbage back at Groucher. But then he remembered Groucher liked garbage, so he ran up to punch him.

'But Super Grover,' said Groucher, 'why fight me? Won't that set a bad example for the kids?'

'Hmm. Good point,' replied Grover, who then got punched by Groucher. Before Grover could do anything more, Groucher put on a jetpack and flew away.

'Well, that went well,' grumbled Purple Dinosaur, pulling Flashacus out of the water. As Purple Dinosaur created a trash removing device with his ring, Grover's crime detector began to ring again. 'The bakery is being robbed!'

After getting some rubbish out of the water, Purple Dinosaur and Flashacus followed Grover to the bakery, where a small figure propelled into the air by robot tentacles loomed over, using two tentacles to steal sweets and cakes from the shop.

'Oh, never mind,' said Flashacus, 'The villain's getting rid of all the unhealthy food. That's good.'

'No!' cried Super Grover. 'We must put an end to this villainy!' So he flew over to the robber, only to get strangled by one of the tentacles.

'You meanie!' cried the villain, who just so happened to be a pink pony, 'Try and stop Dr. Pinktopus, will ya? Well, think again!' Just as Dr. Pinktopus began laughing maniacally, a huge spider-web engulfed her face and she fell over backwards. Now released from the grip of the tentacle, Super Grover looked up to see the Twilight Spider leap onto Pinktopus and whack her unconscious.

'Wow,' said Twilight, 'You really did need me.'

'Oh shut your trap,' yelled Purple Dinosaur..

'Hey!' Purple Dinosaur turned around to see a young man. 'You're the Purple Dinosaur, aren't you?'

'What about it?'

'Man, your movie really sucked,' laughed the man, which elicited a fire in the Purple Dinosaur's eyes. 'It was so utterly laAGH.'

After paying the Purple Dinosaur's bail, Super Grover took his three friends back to his kitchen where they discussed what went wrong. 'Well, at least we got the rubbish out of the water,' said Super Grover.

'Yeah,' grumbled Purple Dinosaur, 'but while you were getting your ass handed to you by Dr. Pinktopus, Grex Groucher went and blew up the Laundromat!'

'Really?' Super Grover looked at his crime detector. 'This certainly did not pick that up.'

'Maybe because it's a hunk of junk!' snarled Purple Dinosaur, who then conjured up another hammer with his power ring. Right before it could smash Super Grover's crime detector into pieces, it suddenly disappeared as Purple Dinosaur burst into tears again. 'What's happened to me?'

'Oh, don't cry, Purple Dinosaur,' said Super Grover, 'Look, my Super Grover vision is picking up a girl's cat stuck in a tree. If we can't battle villains, surely we can help a girl's cat!'

Both Purple Dinosaur and Flashacus sighed and joined Super Grover in going outside to save the little girl's cat. 'Oh, hello,' sighed the little girl.

'Do not worry, little girl,' cried Super Grover, 'We will rescue your cat!' Just then, the cat leapt down from the tree on its own. 'Oh, this again? Really? Well, goodbye.'

With that, the three heroes found themselves on Grover's sofa, staring at the blank television screen. 'Oh dear,' said Flashacus, 'Once I told children that being a couch potato is bad. Now look at me.'

'Well...' Super Grover placed a finger on his chin. 'Who's up for a game of Dark Explorer: Barkha...' He covered his mouth as he turned to Purple Dinosaur.

'Oh sure,' said Purple Dinosaur, raising his arms into the air, 'She gets a bloody video game!' A grin lit Purple Dinosaur's face. 'Hey, Super Grover, didn't you have a game too? On the Nintendo 64?'

Super Grover hid his face with his helmet's visor. 'Yes.'

'That was some game, eh? I especially liked the level with the rings.'

'Please don't remind Super Grover of that game.'

'Well,' came a voice, 'The Dark Explorer may have an acclaimed video game, but the Twilight Spider got an acclaimed video game and an entire movie trilogy in under a year!'

'Yes, yes,' moaned Flashacus, 'We know you're jealous of her, Purple Dinosaur, just try and get over it please!'

'I didn't say that,' replied Purple Dinosaur.

'Oh. Well, want some Guiness?'

'Flashacus,' said Super Grover, 'I thought you promoted healthy living?'

'It's got iron in it, hasn't it?'

'But we're nice, kid-friendly superheroes! We don't drink beer!'

'Nice? Kid-friendly?' The voice again. 'Super Grover, Super Grover, Super Grover. Purple Dinosaur and Flashacus have the right idea, yet you're so eager to make them regress.'

'Who are you?' Super Grover leapt up and looked about the room. 'Where are you?'

'Why, I'm right here.' Super Grover looked at the television, which suddenly turned on to reveal what looked like a goat's head with mismatched horns, attached to a long brown neck. 'Why are you lot sitting around watching TV when you could be brooding and beating up super criminals?'

'Well,' said Super Grover, 'We weren't really watching TV...'

'Silence!' The creature began crawling out of the TV to reveal its full form. Its body was long and snake-like, and its limbs were all from different animals. On its chest was a spider symbol – the very same as that of the Twilight Spider.

'Hey!' growled Purple Dinosaur, 'You're with that Twilight Spider, aren't you?'

'Oh no,' said the creature, holding up his left hand, an eagle's claw, 'I hate her as much as you do. She's always foiling my schemes.'

Flashacus leapt to his feet. 'That's it! Only villains say "foiled" and "schemes"!'

The creature laughed. 'Ah, Flashacus, you are quite savvy. It's a wonder why you aren't popular...oh wait, it's because you're too light-hearted.'

'But I'm trying to teach children good health.'

'It's not children you should be trying to reach,' said the creature, placing a claw between his teeth in thought, 'It's man-children. There's a difference. They have more disposable income than children, and they're the reason the Dark Explorer and the Twilight Spider are so popular.' The creature then conjured up a hamburger and observed it. 'Besides, man-children live on a diet of fast food and twinkies. They don't want you lecturing them about proper eating.'

'You really want us to cater to basement-dwelling mouth-breathers?' growled Purple Dinosaur.

'It's the safest market there is for superheroes!' said the creature, changing the hamburger into a wad of bills, 'I mean, you could use a bit of moolah, Super Grover. And what better way to make money then to make yourself darker and edgier?'

'No!' said Super Grover, 'I've become darker and edgier before, when that annoying Elmo came into my life!'

And right as Super Grover said that, none other than Elmo, the red furry monster from another dimension, appeared. 'Don't listen to Goat-Man! He from Elmo's dimension and he do bad things! Elmo no like him!'

'Elmo,' said the creature, calmly turning to Elmo, 'Do you like spelling?'

'Yeah, Elmo like spelling!'

'Then what does O, M, L and E spell?'

'Omle!' replied Elmo, 'Oh no!' So Elmo went back to his dimension.

'You know,' said Super Grover, 'Maybe this fellow does have some good points after all.'

'My name is Venomous Discord,' said the creature, waving around his lion paw, 'and I have come here to improve your humdrum lives! Now take a look at this!' Venomous Discord grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. On the screen was the Dark Explorer and her sidekick Boots crashing through a window.

'Stop right there, Big Red Chicken!' yelled the Dark Explorer, as the camera swerved around to show a giant chicken in a top hat and a tuxedo, sitting among a museum exhibit about penguins.

'I'm not a chicken!' cried the Big Red Chicken, chuckling madly, 'I'm a penguin! Look!' Dumping some biscuits into his beak, he chewed them up and spat the mush onto the model penguins. 'See? I'm a penguin, I'm a penguin!' As he broke down crying, both the Dark Explorer and Boots leapt up and punched him unconscious.

'Now that's how you lot should be!'

'But Purple Dinosaur...'

'Yes, and you should be embracing it, rather than fighting it! Forget teaching kids morals, be dark and trick the man-children into believing they are consuming mature entertainment! Make more merchandise and feast on the royalties!'

'I don't know...' said Super Grover.

'I think the guy's got a point,' said Purple Dinosaur, 'I tried being happy with the "I love you, you love me" crap and look where that got me.'

'That's the spirit,' said Venomous Discord, 'and what about you, Flashacus? There's a reason Gorilla Grobbie Grotten is more popular than you, you know.'

'You're not really going to consider it, are you?' Super Grover held Flashacus by the shoulders.

'Well,' said Flashacus, looking upwards, 'things have been pretty boring recently. Might as well try something new.'

'Oh dear,' said Super Grover, 'Now that I think about it, being under the influence of Swipeker's insanity gas was actually pretty enjoyable.'

'Oh goody!' laughed Venomous Discord, who touched Super Grover on the head, draining him of his colour. 'Now that looks much better!' he laughed before giving Purple Dinosaur and Flashacus the same treatment. 'Are we ready to do some crime-stopping now?'

'Fuck yeah!' cried Super Grover, who suddenly grew huge muscles and took out a gun that was almost bigger than him, 'For I am a Muppet!'

'First of all,' said Venomous Discord, 'We show the Twilight Spider how things are done!'

Later, Super Grover had gone out to find Dr. Pinktopus, who had just escaped from jail. When he had found her, he actually invited her back to his apartment.

'Oh boy! You're having a party!' Pinktopus had said while following Grover, 'I mean I know you're supposed to be a good guy and all that but I really like parties even if they are thrown by superheroes I mean come on when I do my crime sprees I even make sure to steal some party hats and balloons...'

While Grover massaged his temples throughout the journey, it didn't take him long to lead Pinktopus to the living room of his apartment. 'Hey!' Pinktopus looked on the floor. 'Why is there newspaper everywhere?'

'Mommy always puts down newspaper when I bring in animals.'

'And why are you wearing a raincoat?'

'I've heard you like music,' said Grover, getting out a radio as Pinktopus sat herself down. 'Would you like to hear one of my own songs? The Monster in the Mirror is a favourite of mine.' So he put on the song he just mentioned, and Pinktopus bobbed her head to it. 'You know, Dr. Pinktopus, I think the best Sesame Street songs were in the earlier seasons of the show.'

'I've actually performed some songs myself, you know,' Pinktopus said, 'Cupcake?'

'Don't mind if I do,' said Grover, taking the cupcake, 'Hey! What's that on your coat?'

'What?' said Pinktopus, looking down at her coat before Super Grover flicked her nose with his muscular finger. 'That...that really hurt!' All of a sudden, Pinktopus cried torrents of tears, making Grover hold his coat tighter. 'You're such a meanie! And this gag would've worked better with the Dark Explorer!' she yelled before running out of the apartment on her robot tentacles.

'Brilliant!' Venomous Discord suddenly appeared in the room. 'Eating sweets between meals and making a cute little pony cry! Now that's extreme!'

'I would say Thank You for your compliment,' said Super Grover, 'but that would be polite and not edgy at all!'

'You have learned well! But where are your two friends?'

Hearing the tinkering of broken glass, Grover and Discord walked into the other room to see that a little boy in a sailor suit had crashed through a window. 'Please, please, don't hurt me!'

Flashacus and Purple Dinosaur entered the room. 'Then promise to never give an apple to your teacher again, you pussy!'

'I promise, I promise!'

'And make sure,' said Flashacus, 'that you listen to heavy metal nightly.'

'Sure, whatever you say!' gibbered the boy before running away, with Discord applauding all the while.

'Hey, Flashacus!' said the Purple Dinosaur.

'What?'

'You know how you're the fastest man alive?'

'Yeah.'

'Would you like me to make a joke about how that phrase could be related to sexual intercourse?'

'No, I would not, but make it anyway, because it would be edgy.'

Discord wiped a tear from his eye. 'I'm so proud. Now, I think you're ready to take on the darkest, edgiest, grittiest place in the world!'

'You don't mean?'

'That's right! Blotham City! Where we'll make the Dark Explorer look like the Moderately Lit Explorer!'

With a click of his fingers, Discord teleported the three heroes to Blotham City, where they were greeted by the stench of excretion and rotting garbage, and the sight of monochrome buildings climbing towards the cloud-clotted sky.

'Oh, what a wonderful place for edgy heroes like we,' cried Flashacus. Suddenly, he zipped off and came back with a selection of thugs. 'Just being here makes me want to inflict pain upon criminal scum!'

'Ooh, goody,' said Purple Dinosaur as he listened to Linkin Park on his MP3 player, 'Shall we slam their heads against the pavement until they bleed?'

'Or,' said Super Grover, holding up that gigantic gun, 'We could fill them full of lead!'

'I prefer,' said Flashacus, throwing away his toothbrush to ensure that he didn't brush after every meal, 'to beat them unconscious and then dance on them!' They all did just that, until Super Grover picked up a bank alarm going off with his super hearing.

'Hark!' cried Super Grover, 'I hear crime afoot! We must administer bloody justice!' All three of the heroes darted to the Blotham City First National Bank, bursting through the doors to be greeted by several people tied up. As they neared the vault, they saw it being penetrated by a certain fox in clown makeup and a purple coat: The Swipeker, arch-enemy of the Dark Explorer.

'Hi,' said Swipeker as he turned to the heroes, 'I was hoping to see you again, Super Grover. You look a little more...lively than usual.'

'Okay,' said Super Grover, turning to his teammates, 'all we have to do to stop Swipeker robbing is to tell him not to three times!'

'Screw that,' yelled Purple Dinosaur, 'Let's reduce him to a pile of dust!'

'Doesn't he want to be killed though?'

All of a sudden, lightning struck, and with a cry of 'What are you doing?', Venomous Discord reappeared inside the bank, making the hostages scream.

'Venomous Discord! Buddy!' cried Swipeker, shaking Discord's lion paw, 'Haven't seen you for years!'

'Ah, Swipeker,' Discord patted Swipeker in the back. 'Still an agent of chaos, I see.'

'Sure! That's who I am!'

'Figured out a good origin story?'

'Nah, still figuring out the kinks. Hey, you make those loser heroes all grey and stuff?'

'Of course. Who else would be able to do this?' The two villains stared at the heroes admiring their firearms.

'I recognise your handiwork anywhere! You've got flair!' So the two villains gave each other a high five. 'So, you wanna go bother Grex Groucher?'

'Now that sounds like an amusing diversion,' said Discord before making himself and Swipeker disappear, as the corrupted heroes argued.

'This gun is better,' yelled Flashacus.

'No, this gun! It's made from my hate and anger towards mankind!' Purple Dinosaur created a gun from his magic ring.

'Vamonos!' Hearing this word, the Justice Playmates spun around to see the Dark Explorer and Boots burst through the bank wall on their Explorer Mobile. As the Explorer Mobile went 'Choo choo!' the Dark Explorer leapt to the ground, arching an eyebrow at her fellow heroes. 'You let Swipeker get away, didn't you?' She then turned away. 'What do I do when stupid superheroes screw everything up?' She stood in silence, and before she could speak another word, Purple Dinosaur's gun shoved itself in her face.

'Piss off, Dark Explorer,' yelled Super Grover, 'We're the dark and gritty superheroes around here now.'

'Oh, not more of your crap, Super Grover,' grumbled the Dark Explorer, 'You're lucky I don't kill because I've got an urge to kill you right now!'

'Well, I have no problems with killing right now,' said Super Grover, 'So I guess that makes me the darker and more mature hero then, doesn't it? When I kill you, all the man-children's welfare checks will become my property!'

Just as the Dark Explorer was about to aim an explorerang at the giant green gun, but a giant spiderweb flew in and wrapped around it instead.

'Holy internet meme, Dark Explorer!' Boots pointed upwards at the Twilight Spider who somersaulted into the bank to face the other heroes. As the Justice Playmates neared her, her horn glowed, and another web landed from the ceiling, holding the brainwashed threesome captive.

'It's the Twilight Spider!' cried the Dark Explorer, 'Do I trust the Twilight Spider?' She paused. 'No, of course I don't!'

'What?'

'Your comic and movies promote friendship! And I'm a dark loner of the night!'

Rolling her eyes, the Twilight Spider approached the raving Justice Playmates. Her horn glowed again and they slowly regained her colour. While Super Grover and Flashacus calmed down, Purple Dinosaur was still raving. 'Oh, little miss perfect pretty pony saved the day! What a surprise! Guess you're gonna get more fanart up the fucking wazoo now!'

Placing a hoof on her forehead, Twilight said, 'I've faced Venomous Discord before. He used his power to turn me against my friends, and almost bathed the world in chaos. Now he's back, I'm going to make sure he won't succeed!' Being forced to relive memories of her enemy had Twilight lowering her head, sighing. 'It was horrible, the way my friends acted. Poor Fluttershy, she still feels guilty about it. And then there was the time The Great and Powerful Goblin killed Applejack...'

'Dark Explorer,' said Boots, 'Listen! She's angsting! And some of her loved ones are dead! I think we can trust her!'

'Anyway,' Twilight said, trying to stand proud, 'My magic sense told me that Venomous Discord was around these parts, but he seems to have disappeared now.'

'Oh!' cried Super Grover, 'He and Swipeker said they were going to Grex Groucher's!'

'Then that's where I'll be going,' said Twilight Spider.

'Us too! Vamonos!' The Dark Explorer and the Twilight Spider then went off to battle their foes, leaving the Justice Playmates in the Twilight Spider's web.

'Hey!' Super Grover grabbed onto the edges of the web. 'Groucher's my arch-enemy, you know! Can I join you?'

Sighing, Purple Dinosaur conjured up a pair of scissors to cut his friends and himself out of the web. 'Well, I think we all learned something about being a superhero today.'

'To be yourself and not to pander to the popular trends?' asked Super Grover.

'No,' replied Purple Dinosaur, 'It stinks.' Once again using his ring, he created another giant gun – only this time, he shot himself with it.

'Um,' said Super Grover, drumming his fingers on his chin, 'I think I'll go help the Dark Explorer and Twilight Spider fight the bad guys.' So off he flew.

Later, at Grouchcorp's head offices, the large tower made out of garbage, Grex Groucher sat at his desk, writing some business document or something of that nature when he heard a knock at his door. 'Coming, coming!' He marched over to the door, grumbling all the while, and when he opened the door, a bucket of hot, soapy water fell on his head. 'What the heck!'

Laughter filled the halls, and Swipeker and Venomous Discord came out of hiding. 'Gotcha!'

'Oh no! It's you guys!' Groucher shuddered at the happiness of his two fellow villains. 'I hate jokesters like you! Being a supervillain is serious business!'

'Serious?' laughed Discord, 'Oh, you're so boring, Groucher.'

'Quiet, Discordant Venom!'

'Venomous Discord!'

'Whatever! I know how to get rid of your little friend,' Groucher said, turning to Swipeker. 'Swipeker no...' Just then, Discord used his magic to put cotton wool in Swipeker's ears. 'Oh nuts!' moaned Groucher, as Discord clicked his fingers and made it rain chocolate on Groucher.

'Oh, isn't chaos grand, Swipeker?'

'Eh, what was that?'

Just then, in barged the Dark Explorer and the Twilight Spider. 'Oh goody!' squealed Swipeker, 'You made it, I'm so thrilled!'

Oscar waved to the heroes behind a shower of chocolate rain. 'Little help please? This chocolate is killing me!'

Instantly, the Twilight Spider created more spider webs with her magic, and used them to take the cotton wool out of Swipeker's ears. As soon as Swipeker held out a gun, Twilight and the Dark Explorer said in unison, 'Swipeker no killing! Swipeker no killing! Swipeker no killing!'

'Aw man!' said Swipeker as another spiderweb held him down. With one villain defeated, the Dark Explorer moved onto Discord, throwing an explorerang at his head. It disappeared in an instant.

'Dark Explorer,' said Discord, shaking his head. 'What part of "I have near-unlimited power and you don't" don't you understand?' He clicked his fingers again, trapping the Dark Explorer in a giant marshmallow. 'Oh, poor Dark Explorer. And poor Twilight Spider. Too bad one of your friends is dead and another is a supervillain, so you can't use the Elements of Harmony to defeat me! Oh well.'

Before Discord could click his fingers again, he heard a familiar scream in the air. In seconds, Super Grover crashed from the ceiling and fell on top of Discord. 'It is I, Super Grover, here to save the day!'

'Get off of me, you purple freak!'

'That is not a very nice way to speak to other people. Yes, that is right, Super Grover is a nice, friendly superhero again!'

Discord narrowed his eyes. 'I made you my servant once,' he boasted, 'I'll do it again!' His eagle claw sprung into the air, and neared Grover's head, with Grover cowering on the floor. Just then, Discord found himself electrocuted and made unconscious. Grover turned around to see the Dark Explorer, having escaped from the marshmallow, holding a tazer of some kind.

'I was looking for a chance to use my new Explorer-Power-Neutraliser,' said the Dark Explorer, 'You should be glad I didn't use it on you.'

With Discord's powers neutralised, the chocolate rain that splashed all over Grex Groucher had stopped. 'I'm free!' yelled Groucher, 'Now I can do some evil!' Right then, Grover shoved Groucher in a strait jacket before doing the same for Venomous Discord and Swipeker. After doing that, he lifted up the three villains and took them to Barkham Asylum before returning to the tower of garbage.

'Well,' said Twilight Spider, 'Thanks for the help.'

'I'm happy to help! I mean, we do make a great team,' said Super Grover, hugging the Dark Explorer and Twilight Spider, 'We'll become the new Justice Playmates. Forget those other two, they're right downers.'

'Should I take Super Grover's offer?' the Dark Explorer asked thin air, 'That's right. I shouldn't because I'm still a loner!'

'Yeah,' said Twilight Spider, 'I'll have to take a raincheck too.'

'That's okay,' said Super Grover, releasing the two other heroes, 'I still managed to get my confidence back, and that's why I did the Justice Playmates thing in the first place.'

All of a sudden, a giant robot broke through the wall, a metallic porridge-powered creature piloted by none other than Toybear. 'Oh good,' said Toybear, 'Now I can wampage across Metwo City witout any whiny cwap!' Super Grover then dove at the robot only to be thrown to the ground.

'Should we help him?' Twilight asked the Dark Explorer.

'Nah! Just write your letter to Princess Celestia.'

'Dear Princess Celestia, Today I found out I don't like crossovers that much...'

THE END