Chapter 1: Why Fanfictions Beat Death Notes

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. (But how I wish I own L. . . )

A/N: Hello, everybody! Welcome to my Fanfiction Summer Special! I decided to take a break from Naruto to bring you a fanfiction for my other favorite anime/manga Death Note! I've been meaning to put one up for a while, but I didn't really get around to it before now. I HAVE DIVERSITY! FEAR ME! BWA HA HA!! So enjoy.

LLLLLL(gets hit)XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Why it happened, nobody knew for sure. Maybe stress and the intensity of the sun's rays had finally gotten to them all. Maybe they decided that it was time for a break. However, the most likely reason of all was that an average human had come across a story site while bored on the internet one day. That human had come across Fanfiction, a force that would make a Death Note look like a blessing to a vast majority of fictional characters. For you see, with Fanfiction, one can make a fictional character do whatever it is that you wish them to do without word or reason, and they would all be powerless to stop you. You can enroll L and Light into Hogwarts, make Misa's real identity be a drag queen on the run from the workers of Disneyland. Hell, you can even make Near carry Mello's ass baby if you felt like it (Or better yet, make it the other way around. It would be funnier if you think about it).

Anyway, what this Fanfiction had bid the characters of Death Note to do was fairly simple; have the most memorable characters go on a summer road trip.

"Yay! A road trip!" Misa cried out happily. "Won't it be fun, Light?!"

"No," Light replied as he cursed the fact that L was coming with them, leaving no convenient time or place for knocking people off via the Death Note. He could have probably snuck by if L slept and didn't have that creepy habit of staring at him all day everyday –

"Hey, how come you get to drive, Ryuuzaki?!" Misa wailed as L climbed into the bus and "sat" on the driver's seat, pulling Light away from his thoughts.

"Because I said so," L replied in his dead pan tone of voice.

"But you can't reach the pedals if you sit like that!" Misa pointed out.

"I am quite aware of that, Misa," L told her.

"Well, what are you going to do about it?!"Misa asked sharply.

"Conveniently placed orphan."

Misa stood there confused. "What?!"

"Conveniently placed orphan," L said again. "There is a boy from Wammy House who is interested in becoming my heir, so I have decided to see what use he could be."

"This doesn't seem legal, L," a voice said from the space between the chair and the pedals.

"Near, if you want to become my heir, you are going to have to pull your weight and make yourself useful."

"Whatever you say, Boss,"

"Ryuuzaki, do you even have a license?"

"Est que ce 'license'?"

"What do you mean, 'What's a license'?!" Light yelled as he hauled his suitcase into the compartment thing on the side of the bus. "You kind of need one to drive!"

L pointed down. "Near is manning the pedals and he is in possession of one."

"Yeah, but you have the wheel!"

"Light-kun, I am seriously the only one capable of driving the bus," L began to explain. "Near doesn't sit the way other people do either and he is allergic to sunlight, Misa will be distracted by you and she isn't the brightest Crayola in the box, so there is a 72 chance of her crashing the bus or getting into some sort of accident, and if you drive, Misa will drive you crazy and you will yell at her, then I will say something and then we will get into an argument and then I will kick you in the face and you will punch me in the face and then there will be a 92 chance of you getting us into an accident, and your Shinagami friends can't drive for obvious reasons."

"Shinagami . . . ?" Light turned around and saw both Ryuuk and Rem flying towards them wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts. "Dammit! People aren't used to floating summer holiday wear, Ryuuk! Take it off!"

"Aww . . . you never let me have any fun," Ryuuk complained as he took off his sunglasses. "Can I have an apple?"

"Sure," L replied. "Light, get him an apple."

"You can see him?!" Light cried.

"Yes."

"Then aren't you supposed to be dead by now?!"

"This story is not really based on the canon storyline, so I think facts like that are abandoned as soon as humanly possible." Then he added, "Yeah, it surprised me too."

"Does this mean I can kill people?!"

"As long as you refrain from killing me, do not get too carried away."

"Can we go now?!" Ryuuk and Misa asked as Misa jumped up and down in excitement.

"Does everybody have everything?" L asked.

Near looked up. "Well, actually I forgot my – "

"Okay, then. Get in everybody. This is a good time to get moving. We do not want to find ourselves stuck in rush hour traffic."

"Yay!" Misa cried out in delight as she grabbed Light's arm and dragged him on the bus.

"Are we home yet?" he asked miserably as the Shinagami boarded. L started up the engine and pulled out of the driveway before he drove down the street, beginning their long and winding summer road trip.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: That's chapter one! L's so mean to Near XP. It gets better (and hopefully longer in chapter length) as the story goes on, because then I can make fun of rest stops and tourist attractions. Please review!!