A/N: Greetings, Fanfiction! This here is the second Loud House fic of mine. This premise was requested by Barbacar. Working with this premise, it's somewhat of a short piece. First time doing request, so don't be shy about those reviews! Read, Review, and Enjoy!
Disclaimer/Legal BS: I do not own Loud House. Nickelodeon and Chris Savino does. So please don't take this fic down.
"Everybody, come outside! You got to see what came in the mail for me!"
Those were the shouted words of Luan Loud, bringing all members of her family outside at 9 am. Upon exiting their home, they had an odd sight to behold. Luan, equipped with a crowbar, standing next to a gargantuan crate. And for some quirky reason, she had a novelty cigar in her mouth. She continuously placed effort in prying it open, unconsciously chomping the cigar. Before she could finish her prying, she was bombarded with questions from her family.
"Luan, what is going on?" was the primary question from her parents.
"And why did it have to interrupt my beauty sleep?!" A shrieked query from Lola. One that received odd looks towards her.
"What? I need to double my sleep on Saturdays to balance all my beauty on a weekly basis." was her justified response.
"Guys ,guys!" Luan flailed her arms, trying to get all the attention back towards her, "This is what I've been saving up all my payments for! It finally came in today!"
Lincoln takes a moment of time to address the audience, performing his usual talent of delivering exposition -
"Luan has been performing around town for the past couple of weeks. She's been getting some small paychecks and saving them up. Apparently for this..."
And with one last pry, Luan finally managed to prop open the crate. As soon as the front wall was propped, the other three walls detached from each other, falling down like a bizarre domino effect. Unveiling, was a giant object. Oblong shaped, on two wheels, and the size of a small car. Bared the bright red and yellow colors of a circus tent. And, of course, the complementary fuse at the bottom of it.
It was a cannon. A darn cannon.
"Luan...why did you order a cannon?" Luna slowly drawled out her confusion.
"Well, duh!" Exclaimed Luan, "Most of my gigs have been at parties. So, I figured that I needed something to enhance my routine. What better than a cannon?"
Bewildered and concerned faces were exchanged in glances between the witnessing Louds. They keep forgetting that Luan takes her comedy very, very serious.
"Lynn, you ready?" queried the comedian to the athlete.
"Ready! I've been preparing my whole life for this!" Lynn says, instantly prepping herself with her football helmet, rushing towards the cannon.
"WAIT,WHAT?!" The family exclaims in response.
"I've been in on this for a while." Lynn expositions, "And I volunteered for Luan to be her test dummy for the first launch out of it." She concludes the exposition as she inserts herself into the barrel of the cannon.
"And this is when I volunteer to do the trajectory math for you two." Lisa says as she scurries to the side of the cannon, swiftly jotting down notes.
"But why?" was the first question out of Lincoln. Curious as to what possessed three of his sisters to partake in this hair-brained stunt.
"For me, the pursuit of comical advancing." Luan states proudly, as if she announces it as an adventure alongside the divine.
"For me, endurance. Nothing shows perfected endurance like surviving cannon fire!" Lynn says with an enthusiastic grin. A look of craving, craving for a rush of athletic accomplishment.
"And I'm doing it, for their safety." Lisa says nonchalantly, "Seriously, do you expect them to do the numbers themselves? They'd get themselves killed."
While the family couldn't help but agree with Lisa's logic. Only to return to being bewildered at Luan and Lynn's insanity. At least Lisa was concerned with safety, but these two were in it for half-baked motives!
"This is crazy! And a terrible idea!" were the interjections from the parents and siblings.
"Oh well, too late. And we have our numbers done. Enjoy the show, and let's light it up!" Luan swiftly rambled, before rushing down to business. In her quirky manner, Luan let the fuse with the lighting of her faux-cigar. Tensions rise as the fuse is near it's end. Luan and the others jammed their fingers in their ears. Sensibly, Lisa inserts her ear plugs casually. In a sudden gust of soot from the barrel, covering everyone in it,went Lynn a flying. Flying swiftly, straight forward, gaining up on speed and height.
"Wow!" Luan interjects, using her hand to shade her eyes from the sun, "Now Lynn must really be feeling high and mighty!"
Everyone was too shocked by what happened to even respond with the usual groan to Luan's joke.
"Whoa!" Luna said in awe, "Lynn may as well have spread her wings, cause she's getting higher. And higher. And higher..."
And it was by that point, that Lynn had reached a uncertain height in an uncertain hemisphere. Completely away from the ground, and out of their sights. Even came with a small twinkle in the sky. They sported flabbergasted expressions. Their panicking selves immediately turned towards Lisa. All pleading for answers.
Lisa furiously went through her notes, before looking back up at her worried relatives. Her face expressed the realization of a clumsy mistake..
"It seems I forgot to carry the one in my calculations. Thus, off setting most of the numbers I had prepared for the launch..." Lisa states with a cringed and awkward expression, anticipating the backlash from the others.
And she was right to expect.
The backlash came from them in one, quick wave of emotion. Ranging from fear to rage to grievance. They all expressed several feelings after another, before Lisa finally calmed them down for her next statement.
"Do not worry. Newton's law still has to come in effect. What goes up must come down."
"Not to mention," Lincoln buts in, "with the luck this family has, she'll be back soon, and ready to be a bigger pain than before."
The family couldn't refrain from agreeing with all that logic. Each of the Louds have endured outrageous circumstances before, and come back from it without much consequences. At that point, they all realized their only option for now, was to go inside and wait for Lynn to fall back down...
(several hours later...)
It was nightfall by now, and Lincoln had just came out to take the trash out. And as he places the garbage in containment, he couldn't stop himself from looking up at the sky, with a forlorn look. He really was worried about his sister. Whenever the Louds would come back from crazed scenarios, it usually didn't take this long. But then again, it usually wasn't of this profound circumstance.
"Lynn, I really do hope you come back..." Lincoln murmured sadly. His face fell, fell to the point of him staring at the ground. Should he believe that his sister was gone? Never to be seen again?
These thoughts were quickly dashed as he caught of what seemed to be...a shooting star? Yes, that must be it. And Lincoln being the idealist he was, closed his eyes shut, and prayed upon his wish.
"I wish Lynn would come back to us."
Suddenly, in a matter of seconds later, this prayed wish was interrupted by the sound of loud shouting from above. He swiftly turned to his right, where the sound seemed to have been coming from above. It seemed as the "shooting star", had taken a new direction...from across the sky to heading straight towards. Before Lincoln's mind could process panic, he heard the familiar shouting from above as well. The familiar shouting of a sporty teenager...
"Someone soft get in my way!" was the yelled words from the incoming "star". And yes, with a further glance, Lincoln could see it for what it was: Lynn, helmeted and cover in soot, flying towards him. Err, not so much as flying, but more of crash landing towards him.
Lincoln couldn't process any more thought until it was too late. His projectile sister, and her crashing weight, had rushed to give a big, bone-crushing hug. Oh, the pain.
"Ooof!" Lincoln exclaimed as the body's weight shoved him down to the ground. His eyes glanced at the body on top of him. Red clothes, helmet with brunette hair stick out from under it. Yep, definitively Lynn. Who was covered so much soot, that it had gotten all over Lincoln. Which in return, may have just dyed his white hair to black.
And the soot-covered athlete just jolts right back up, standing in a pose of victory.
"YEAH!" She exclaimed, "What a rush! I could swear I saw the sun rise and set twice. Nothing says perfect athlete like surviving orbit! Try to beat that Lincoln!"
"I think you broke something..." Whimpered Lincoln, lying on the ground. His hand slowly risen, pleading Lynn to give him a hand back up.
"Walk it off, Lincoln." Lynn says, then walking herself back inside the house, "And wash your hair! You look like a Lucy knock-off!"
Lincoln groaned in both frustration and out of his injuries. His hand and body surrendering back to the pavement beneath him. He would then reassume his talent of narrative and address our dear audience once more -
"New wish. I wish for a fixed rib. Or at least the paramedics."
The concluded exposition would be his last words before fainting from the agony of his injuries...