Disclaimer: The characters belong to Ron Moore and Universal Studios. Not me. Believe me, they'd have a *lot* more fun if I did own them!
Spoilers: Sacrifice
Armistice
By Socket
In the Lifestation Roslin sits at Lee's bedside, her eyes never leaving him. She reaches out and takes his hand; his skin is warm and she feels the hope still effervescent within her. He has to pull through because he's never let her down before - death will just have to wait because she won't let him go.
It's been so long since they last talked. They hardly know each other anymore. They've shared so much together, but they have been virtual strangers in recent times.
He stirs and his eyes open drowsily.
Laura smiles; relieved to see the beauty of those clear blue eye peering back at her.
"Hey," she whispers and smiles reassuringly.
"Madame President…" Lee replies weakly, her smile still affects him. He focuses his mind on the events before everything went dark. "How's Billy?" he asks, urgency in his tone.
Roslin averts her eyes. "He didn't make it," she answers quietly.
"I'm sorry - " Lee begins.
Laura swallows the pain and forces a smile. "Dr Cottle says you'll be out of here in no time."
Lee holds her gaze, hurt that she has changed the subject so quickly. They never used to avoid anything... once, she had turned to him for everything. Maybe it's the medication or the bullet wound, or just tiredness, but Lee finds himself asking. "What happened to us?"
Roslin gazes at him with surprise. "What do you mean?"
"We used to be honest with each other and now… words don't come easily. Something's changed."
Roslin leans forward, her face close to his. "You stopped trusting me," she replies sadly.
Lee looks away from her, he feels frail, then he feels her hand covering his and gains strength from her touch. He turns his head slowly towards her and watches her. He wishes he could turn the clock back.
"Can we pretend that you've forgiven me?" Laura asks. "Just for now, just until you're better?"
His heart almost breaks. He gives her a half-smile. "I've wanted to make things right between us… but I didn't know how. You let me down, Ma'am, that's hard to get over."
"You put me on a pedestal, Lee, of course I let you down. How could I possibly live-up to the image you had created of me? Laura the saint! Laura the principled! There's no way I could have sustained that level of integrity in your eyes. I had to fall short of your expectations sooner or later."
Lee shook his head vehemently, then winced in pain, but continued. "That's not fair!"
"I'll tell you what's not fair - being put on that pedestal in the first place! But you needed me as your ideal, you needed me to believe in and I served my purpose, didn't I, Lee? And when I showed my flaws – you cut me out of your life."
He grits his teeth. "You lied to me. When I stood by you – I thought you were so honourable, so ethical... until Cain… and then it became clear, all those times I took your side - you were using me to further your own agenda..."
Laura's expression fills with sadness. "It wasn't a game, Lee. I was fighting for our survival – it wasn't my intention to deceive you, and I still feel that I didn't. Cain was a liability…" Roslin sighs in frustration. "My Gods… I don't even know why you're still holding it against me – she was killed by a cylon agent, not by my hand."
His gaze is steady as he states. "No, but you would have gone through with it, you would have had her eliminated... of they hadn't gotten to her first."
Laura holds his eye. "You're going to hold 'would have's' against me? That's a waste. There are many things you should hold me accountable for, but not Cain's murder – not for something I didn't do."
The silence to encompasses them and they hide in it awhile.
After a momnet, he says gently. "You're right, I know you are, but something keeps holding me back from you. I'm still angry and I don't know why… I never expected to feel that way about you," Lee claims and stares into her eyes - he's always found his solace there, and now, he can feel himself falling back into her.
Laura bites her lower lip. She wants to be honest with him, wants their friendship back. There is no one else she trusts. Billy and Elosha are gone; Lee is her only friend.
"I'm not a perfect person, Captain Apollo. I never claimed to be. There are many things I wish I didn't have to do, but sometimes, there is no choice. I do what has to be done, for the fleet, for the future of our race and I won't apologise for that, but I am sorry if I hurt you in the process of achieving it."
Lee's eyes fill with tears and he closes them tightly, he wants to release the anger, wants to be let back into her world, where he can feel comforted again.
He opens his eyes and smiles brightly at her. "I'm glad you're here," he murmurs, his grip on her hand tightening.
Roslin reaches out and strokes back his hair. "Me too," she whispers.
He melts into the softness of her voice, his body relaxing and his heart brimming. "Stay," he entreats.
Laura nods. "I'm not going anywhere."
~The End~
