Summary: OK so the members of the fellowship each receive superpowers to help them on their quest. Problem is we (Grafiti rtk and I (ESZK)) being the creators of this fic are asked to give them these magical powers. However we did not explain to Elrond we suck at magic so the powers are a little…useless, or are they?

The entire story is completely insane please R+R.

Disclaimer: of course we own it…I mean no we do not own LOTR and gain no profit from writing this story.

Chapter one: The meeting

Once upon a time in a land far far away from Middle Earth two girls decided to have caffeine. They got so hyper they ripped a hole in the very fabric of time hence ending up in Rivendell of all places. Witnessing this entrance was the lord of Rivendell himself, Elrond. "Holy moly!" said Elrond. "More strange looking females". The last time this had happened he remembered he started compulsively torturing Legolas, Frodo and Sam started making out and Gimli was the comic relief. The last ones to come here had explained themselves as the all powerful fanfiction writers, capable of altering reality itself. This gave him an idea. Cautiously he approached the two girls ready to ask for a favor.

"Excuse me; are you two writers of the fanfiction?"

"Why yes, yes we are" answered Grafiti

"I concur" agreed ESZK

"You must be alterers of the space time continuum"

"Alterers isn't a word" said ESZK

"Don't disagree with the lord of Rivendell!"

'Don't tell me what to do"

"Shutup" yelled Elrond.

"Shut up is two words, you and your bad punctuation." Answered ESZK always arguing

Elrond gritted his teeth this was going to be difficult. "I have a simple request for you, change reality so that the members of the fellowship have powers to help them destroy the one ring."

"We can't just do that, there's stuff involved. There are highly fanfictionized rules that must be adhered to. They can't just have superpowers, they must receive them."

"Then you give them some, just whip up a few potions your writers so write some"

"Fine" they both answered triumphantly "we accept this task" then they marched off to prepare the necessary disclaimers, summaries and some potions.

"You know," said ESZK "they'll let anyone be a lord these days"

"How so?"

"Well if he had any lordly wisdom he would have asked us to just get them all automatically to Mount Doom unseen and this could all be over in less than a page"

"Ah well…this is much more fun" giggled Graffiti hyperly, and off they went.

And soon they returned.

"Howdy all!"

"We got some potions for you!"

"Frodo you first" squealed Graffiti "you're the cutest" (Legolas looked sort of hurt as he always thought he was the cutest).

This went on for each character until each potion was administered.

"Boromir, you go last, 'cause you die in the end" said Graffiti. "Oh my god! Did I just say that?"

"What she meant was you are supposed to die but instead we give you three lives" Oh well it was something like that E (ESZK will now be going by E as it is shorter and easier to write. E is copyrighted property by ESZK) thought.

"Well what do these all do?" asked Pippin.

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" the two authors looked at each other.

"Crud we forgot the paper where we wrote them, for now just try to figure it out"

And they set off on the difficult quest to find the paper labeled superpowers in the hit-by-a-tornado room of Grafiti rtk. As they left E could be heard saying "hey, wasn't Frodo just holding a green bottle?"

"Yeah"

"I could've sworn that was the one we had put poison in…"

"Well" answered Graffiti "END OF CHAPTER ONE"

Review or Frodo gets it.