Chapter I: A Good Teleporter Gone Wrong
As the phalanx of dawn one Monday morning in May marched over the university town of Muncie, Indiana, Jonathan Arbuckle stirred in the swelling light before arising from bed. Upon putting his feet on the floor, he flexed his back to relieve tension that had built up overnight, as befalls so many of us whenever we have sat down or slept for an extended period. He looked out the window at the horizon as the light illuminated it. It was a perfect morning, or so it seemed.
Jon heard his pet beagle Odie panting as the dog entered the room. This was normally the time when Jon would go down to make breakfast, and Odie approached him the way as always to remind him. There was but one difference, though, as Odie wasn't smiling like he was wont to do. Not noticing this distinction, Jon looked down at Odie, saying: "It's another gorgeous day here, isn't it? Let's go downstairs and make breakfast. I bet Garfield will want—"
At this point, having substantially shaken off his sleep, Jon knew something was wrong. "What is it?" he asked Odie, who was whining. After a pause, he answered his own question, saying to himself: "I wonder if it's something to do with Garfield." Then, he added to Odie: "Let's go downstairs and see what it is. For all we know, he might have had the T.V. on all night, or he might be oversleeping."
Jon and Odie rushed downstairs, where it was apparent that both possibilities held water. Garfield was sleeping, but not in his dedicated cat bed. Rather, he was snoozing in Jon's easy chair before the flat-screen T.V. that Jon had received as a gift from his reluctant girlfriend (and his pets' veterinarian), Dr. Elizabeth Wilson, for the fifth anniversary of their relationship. But just as Jon was about to snap at Garfield for oversleeping and keeping the T.V. on all night, the Binky the Clown Show started with Binky's trademark exclamation: "HEEEEEEEYYYY, KIIIIDDSSSSSSSSSSSS!" At that point, Garfield awoke with a cry.
"Garfield," said Jon, "what caused you to get up in the middle of the night and watch T.V.? I was genuinely worried about you!"
"I couldn't sleep," Garfield replied, "because in the middle of the night, I had a strange dream."
"Was it like that nightmare where you ate the world's food supply and then got fed to the aliens?"
"Jon, you know that's not funny. Besides, it had nothing to do with that. Actually, in this dream I was playing with Odie in the yard when Nermal came along, presumably with the intent to annoy me. As soon as Odie and I noticed him who claims to be the world's cutest kitten, we took cover in the bush, but to no avail. Nermal heard the rustling of the bush and surprised us, causing us to jump almost high enough to cross over into the neighbouring yard before we ended up in a heap on the ground. He walked up to us and said: 'What's wrong, Garfield? Don't you want to play with me? Or are you jealous that I'm so cute and you're so not?'
"'If I were jealous,' I retorted, 'Odie wouldn't be with me. Say, Nermal, do you want to go somewhere fun?'
"'Is this place Abu Dhabi or somewhere like that?'
"'Oh, even better than Abu Dhabi! There's a city on the coast where they're holding a cat show. I bet you'll be welcome there.'
"'Well, what city is it?'
"'Come to think of it, I don't quite know which city, but I built a machine with Jon that you can use to get there.'
"So, I took Nermal and Odie to the teleporter that you had built with me in the garage. Once we had arrived, Nermal asked: 'How do you use this contraption? It doesn't look like any machine that could almost magically take someone there.'
"I sighed and explained: 'I'll use Odie as my demonstration case.' At that, Odie whimpered. I told him: 'It'll be okay, Odie. There's a device somewhere on this machine that can summon anybody who's been teleported back to where he started from in case of an emergency.' He barked, so I took it as a sign that he was willing to try the machine out. Just as I was about to flip it on, though, I tripped over something, which caused me to activate the ignition. Next thing you know, Odie and I were being zapped to somewhere else. The last thing I saw before awakening from my nightmare was Nermal sticking out his tongue, as though it were comeuppance for all the times I tried to ship him to Abu Dhabi."
"I guess it would serve you right," Jon chuckled. "Let's have breakfast." Garfield nodded, but it was clear that he was cross concerning Jon's reaction.
As Jon was making his and Garfield's breakfast, Garfield sat by the window, wondering what he had done to warrant such a foul dream. Had he been too harsh on Nermal? But then he thought: Nah, Nermal is an annoying prick and probably has deserved what I've done to him. He then pondered the possibility that Jon was reaching the breaking point regarding his routine of eating, sleeping and watching T.V. more or less all day. But, Jon must be used to Garfield's way of life by now, so that couldn't be it. Hence, Garfield concluded to himself: "Something else is going on."
Just then, Jon emerged from the kitchen with a pot of coffee, saying: "Breakfast will be served shortly, Garfield. You'd better have your coffee before it gets cold."
Thinking the offer in his best interest, Garfield accepted the cup. Indeed, after having a swig, he was definitely more alert than he had been earlier. He had finished his coffee and begun to chow down on his breakfast when he heard a knock on the door. Jon got up to answer, but Garfield told him: "I'll get it." As soon as he had reached the door and opened it, he gasped and clenched his teeth in fear.
It was Nermal.