The Five Days Of Christmas Tests
On the first day of testing, Sandburg said to me...
Now Jim, you know that there's eight mega-shopping malls here in the city centre, at least 80 stores in each, and in every one a different Christmas carol is playing - maybe two. That's... oh wow man, that's over 600 Christmas carols that you as a Sentinel can hear at this minute, right?
Right? Right. Now tell me the names of all 600.
ts~
On the second day of testing, Sandburg said to me...
Now we've got three specimens here, Jim. First one, Mrs Donatello-Down-the-Street's LotsaChocolate Panforte recipe. Second, Mrs Taggert's Secret Black Rum Christmas Fruitcake. Third, H's great-aunts's Secret Christmas More-Nog-Than-Egg Rum Punch recipe.
I want you to taste them all and work out what the secret ingredients are... aw come on, Jim, I can't believe you think I'm trying to steal them! Purely in the interests of research, man, it's purely in the interests of research.
Just keep tasting, and tasting, and... hey, I wonder if we need to test how long it takes a Sentinel to get sick...
Um. No. No we don't.
~ts~
On the third day of testing, Sandburg said to me...
Hey Jim, Mom's sent us this Sensual Cleansing - no, sorry, sorry, Spiritual Cleansing Incense Powder, probably the same thing with Mom but - what? No, her presents don't get more weird every year - have you forgotten the Inner Self Manifestation Bowls she sent you last year? Yeah, hard to forget - it was the thought that counted, man, though what she was thinking...
Anyway, what I want you to do is smell this and tell me what's in it - sage? No no no, no sage, I wouldn't do that to you, there's no sage in the list that came with - oh. Oh man, I'm so sorry, Mom put it in herself.
No, Jim, I promise, I'm not laughing. Hey, you're not allergic to sandalwood as well are you, Jim? - Jim?
~ts~
On the fourth day of testing, Sandburg said to me...
Now this is just like the lab test with the strobe lights, Jim, only bigger and better - much much bigger, there must be four thousand lights blinking in that display, would you say -? Three thousand four hundred and twenty two? You know that? How'd you know that, is it a Sentinel thing? Hey, I could think up a new test for -
It was in the paper. Gotcha.
Now what I want you to do is concentrate on just one - yes, I know how far we are from them, that's the point - no, not the big red one on Rudolf's nose, that's too easy. Just pick one of the little ones and see if you can focus without losing or zoning or - Jim, Jim, JIM! Let me finish before you break the no zoning bit, okay?
~ts~
On the fifth day of testing, Sandburg said to me...
Jim, leave your brother's present alone. No matter how good your sense of touch is, you're never going to be able to tell what's under all those layers of wrapping paper by just feeling it.
...
...
...
Here. Mine you can probably tell.
What? Hey, I'm Jewish remember, I don't have to wait till Saturday morning. And it's all in the interests of science, man...
-the end-