Stan's pov

I'm currently laying in bed with quilt covers cuddled around me,while I huddled myself in a ball with my head laying on a wet pillow,the curtain is down and the light is off .And it's probably going to be like that for a while, it has been for the last two days.I'm not going to be normal after this.I'm never going to be the regular Stan that people knew,the person who's always laughing and smiling and never looks on the negative side .I'm going to be the person who looks like shit and look fucking anorexic,because I never feel the need to eat any more because...there was an important person in my life who I will never see again.I will not see their beautiful face,their precious eyes,their unique hair,their angelic voice.Everything.Everything I once saw is never going to be seen true what they say... life flashes through a blink of an I wished I never blinked.

And two days ago was the day I lost my Kyle it was all because of him.They killed fucking killed him...I scrunched up my eyes trying to not let myself cry as the images come rushing to my eyes. No.The day they killed him,the day when the world stopped,because Gerald Broflovski killed Kyle Broflovski!Kyle's own father!He came in drunk kicked the door in with blood shot angry eyes,he saw him on his one even thought that Gerald was going to stab him. We never saw it coming,All we knew is that the kitchen draw was open with glass shards around on the floor and a knife next to him. crisom blood everywhere on the floor along with K-Kyle's mom said she never saw her son so vulnerable and so lifeless before...And the thing was we don't know where that monster is hiding. the police tried hunting him but obviously failed, he must of left in the morning when Sheila and Ike came back from Kyle's Nans house.

But when they told me about this devastating news.I swear my heart someone you truly love is dead, and someone telling you this news,that you didn't saw coming, and realisation hits you like a tons of bricks because you realise... that they are never going to be with you ever again, the last time you spent with them will be the last,going to their funeral hearing THEIR name and THEIR coffin right in front of you with a picture of them in front of 's impossible seeing someone you love so young, so carefree, so much more in their life waiting for them but failed to do so because of an 'accident'.Imagine the days without that sadly,the memories died with him in the process.

But the thing is, life has so many obstacles jumping over,and when you meet eye to eye with an obstacle,You're either scared,worried or angry but mostly all obstacles are once you finally jump over that obstacle,you feel like you can breathe is it all worth it?Was it worth the pain and suffering?To me seems like you spend the double amount of time being negative and too much problems to handle,then being then there's a person who can only take so much wait on his he will start to slowly 's why I'm giving up now because,it's not worth it,because when my Ky died,I died.

And another thing that just make my emotions come out,I was pissed off at Kyle's funeral was that,Their Rabbi,talked so much shit about God and Jesus.'Kyle wished he was in peace and not with the devil. and that Kyle spent his last moment reading the fucking Tanakh' He doesn't even know the fucking Kyle Broflovski that we all knew!Have you ever went to someone's funeral and it really pisses you odd because,that's not the person you knew?Because that's how I felt.

I rolled over to my blank blue wall and closed my eyes.I need you Ky...I love you.

Thanks for reading! And review to me because I don't know if I was good enough if it was good enough let me know and I'll be as happy as ever!And if there is any improvements please let me know because,I want to get better at writing!Thank you!