Hey! So I mentioned this story in Sorting and here it is. By the way, I know I mentioned it in the last chapter I updated saying that I'd already uploaded it, but I forgot that I hadn't actually posted it yet. Sorry about that!
Alice Longbottom walked quickly towards the Gryffindor common room. She had been finishing an essay for Herbology in the library and it was already ten minutes past curfew. The last thing she needed right now was Mrs. Norris or Peeves making her late and getting her a detention.
Alice peeked around the corner and, seeing no one there, turned and continued at her brisk pace.
"Hi, Alice!" A voice said. Alice jumped a foot in the air and turned around with her wand out, pointing at the spot the voice came from. "Relax, it's just me." A tall, freckled redhead stepped out of the shadows.
Alice stuck her wand back in her pocket. "Merlin, Fred! You gave me a heart attack!"
"Sorry," He said, smiling. "But I see you've got reflexes that would make my Uncle Harry proud."
"Yeah, well after I was hexed by Goyle, Nott, and Zabini nearly every day back in first and second year, I've become a little paranoid. It's probably good, though. They haven't hexed me in months. Last time they tried, I cast a pretty nasty Jelly-legs Jinx on them and they couldn't walk right for a week." Fred laughed. "Although, maybe they stopped jinxing me because someone turned their common room red and gold and put Veritaserum in their drinking water so they stood on the tables at breakfast and told their deepest secrets to the whole school." Fred laughed even harder.
"That was James's idea!" He protested.
"Yes, but you figured out how to do it."
"Oh, yeah, right!" He paused. "And I got detentions for a month from it. I swear, I spend more time in detention than out of it!" Fred pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket, looked at it, then put it away. "Anyway, those Slytherin prats would never bother a Potter or Weasley. There are so many of us that if they tried to curse one of us, they'd have twelve others to deal with."
"Anyone coming?"
"Huh?"
"Is anyone coming? I'm not stupid. I know what that map does."
"How'd you find out?"
"You left it open in the common room once. Now, are you going to tell me or not? Is anyone coming?"
"Nope. James and I gave Filch an anonymous tip-off that someone would be setting off Dungbombs near the Astronomy Tower. He's been lurking around there all night. We're safe."
"That's really clever of you!" Alice said. "So, what's the prank?" She knew well enough that Fred was planning some prank that people will be laughing at for months and would earn him weeks of detentions. "And where's James?" She also knew that James Potter and Fred Weasley were inseparable.
"James is under the invisibility cloak. So I have no idea. But he should be just around the corner setting up the prank."
Alice suddenly remembered something. She looked down at her watch and gasped. "Fred! It's twenty minutes past curfew! Let's go!" She grabbed him by the arm and starting pulling him towards Gryffindor tower.
"Alice! You can't go down that hallway!" Fred said. "That's where the prank is!" She stopped and groaned.
"That's the only way to Gryffindor tower!" Fred smiled and nodded. "So what does this prank do?" She asked.
"Ah, well. That's top secret information. You'll find out tomorrow." Alice gave him a death glare and started reaching for her wand. "Okay, okay! I'll tell you! But you can't tell anyone!" Alice smiled and nodded, putting away her wand. "Well, whoever walks by gets their hair, skin, and robes technicolored. Meaning your hair might be pink, your skin might be green, your eyes might be purple, your clothes might be orange, your fingernails blue, and so on. And it only wears off when you announce your undying love for either McGonagall or Hagrid, or if you're a Slytherin, you can stand on a table during breakfast and tell the school that you think Gryffindors are sexy, especially James Potter and Fred Weasley." Fred had a large smile on his face.
"You guys are cruel. But yeah, that'll be funny." Alice agreed. "So how do we get to Gryffindor tower, then?"
"Well, I'm supposed to be look-out for James while he's fixing the final part of the prank, and…" Fred looked at the map again. "The long way around is being guarded by your dad. But I do know a shortcut. I can show you it if you wait with me for James to finish."
"Sure, why not?" She said, sitting down against the wall. Fred mirrored her action. "So, where'd you get the idea for the prank?"
"My dad." Fred chuckled. "He and Uncle Fred did this in their fifth year here, but even they weren't the first to do this joke. The Marauders were."
"Who are the Marauders?" Alice asked.
"The greatest pranksters of all time. They went here in the seventies. It was James Potter, Harry's dad; Sirius Black; Remus Lupin, Teddy's dad; and Peter Pettigrew. They made this map with their nicknames. James was Prongs, Sirius was Padfoot, Remus was Moony, and Peter was Wormtail. They were the great masterminds who thought up this idea. Then, Remus was working as the DADA teacher in my dad's fifth year here, and they overheard Remus telling another teacher about it and how the Weasley twins (my dad and uncle) reminded him of the Marauders. They proceeded to perform the prank, and Remus fell on the floor laughing. So when we needed an idea and wrote to my dad, this was his suggestion."
"Wow. I wonder if my dad remembers the prank."
"He probably will. He was one of the victims." Alice burst out laughing at the idea of her father being multicolored.
Fred looked at the map again. "Bloody git." He mumbled.
"What?"
"James left without us. C'mon we should get back to the common room before someone shows up." Fred stood up, then noticed something hanging above his head.
"Bloody hell!" Fred said. Alice stood up.
"What?" She asked. Fred looked like he couldn't decide whether to be furious, happy, or burst out laughing. He pointed to the ceiling.
It was mistletoe.
"What's that doing up there? Christmas was three months ago." Alice started to walk away.
"No! You can't go! This isn't regular mistletoe. This is mistletoe from my dad's joke shop." Alice gave him a questioning look. "When two people step under it, they have to snog for thirty seconds."
"What if you don't?" She asked.
"Well, you can just stand there for as long as you want, but if you try to leave the area of the mistletoe, then it'll scream and wake up the whole castle. It doesn't stop screaming until you snog. This is one of my dad's more annoying, but brilliant, inventions. But who—oh, of course, James. James put it there. He's probably mad I told you about the prank."
"So I guess we have to snog?" Alice said, almost hopefully. Her stomach was doing back flips. She was nursing a small crush on Fred and this certainly wasn't going to help.
"Yeah," He said, nervously.
Fred leaned down and Alice leaned up. Their faces were getting closer and closer…
"Ooooh!" The two bumped noses and jumped apart.
"Peeves!" They yelled together, both rubbing their noses.
"Students out of bed! I should turn you in, I should! Ooooh, what's this? Snogging! Weasel and Loooong-arse K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
"Shut up, Peeves!" Fred hissed. He reached for his wand and several tennis balls appeared. They started bouncing off his head. Peeves yelled and flew off.
They started to lean in again. Lips met lips. Tongues met tongues. And soon, thirty seconds were gone, and the pair were full-on snogging.
XxX
Neville Longbottom was patrolling the corridors.
Filch had told him that he had gotten a note that someone was setting off Dungbombs near the Astronomy Tower. Neville knew from the first second that this had James Potter and Fred Weasley written all over it. So he decided to patrol the area furthest away from the Astronomy Tower. He knew that's where Fred and James would be.
It was always hard to catch the two cousins. Harry had passed on his Invisibility Cloak and Marauder's Map to his children, so not only could he not see them, but they always knew where he was. So they were never caught doing the pranks, but they nearly always left their signature on it, so they were punished for it anyway.
"Students out of bed! Ow! Students out of bed! Ow!" Peeves was being chased by tennis balls. I flicked my wand and they disappeared.
"What were you saying, Peeves?" Neville asked.
"Say please. I shan't say nothing if you don't say please." He said in his sing-song voice.
"Peeves, I was there when you used that against Filch. Now, please, tell me where they are."
Peeves looked annoyed. He pointed to where he had just come from and flew away. Neville walked quickly in that direction, checking all the hallways. Finally, he came to the right one. He heard noises from around the corner. But it was weird. It didn't sound like people talking or laughing or casting spells. It sounded like someone was…moaning?
He walked around the corner and was surprised.
Well, he was partly right. There were two people, and one of them was Fred Weasley, but the other one was no one else but his own daughter. And Fred Weasley had his daughter pressed up against a wall. And he was snogging the living daylights out of her.
That boy was dead.
Neville took a deep breath and calmed himself. He couldn't get mad at them for being teenagers.
He always hated this part of his job, breaking up public displays of affection. It was always embarrassing for him and the students. He usually found that he couldn't look them straight in the eyes for weeks afterwards.
"Ehem." Neville cleared his throat. He could feel his face warming up and he watched the two of them, breathing heavily, jump apart and look mortified. Fred had the signature embarrassed Weasley look, red ears and all. Alice had taken a sudden interest in her shoes and was matching his red face.
It was Fred who spoke first.
"Uh, hi, Professor Longbottom," he said, a nervous smile creeping on his face. He looked remarkably like a first-year who had gotten their first detention.
"Hello, Fred. Are you two aware that it's nearly half an hour past curfew?" Neville said. He knew that right now, he needed to be a teacher first.
"Really? Is it now? I guess I must've lost track of time. We'll just be going now." Fred grabbed Alice's hand and started walking away, pulling her along.
"Not so fast. Detention, both of you. Fred, you may serve yours with me tomorrow night at eight." Fred looked a little frightened. "Alice, I believe Filch needs someone to clean the trophies in the trophy room. Also tomorrow night at eight." He turned to leave, but stopped. "Fred?"
"Yes?"
"Next time you're thinking of snogging my daughter in an empty corridor, check the map to make sure I'm nowhere near."
"Yes, sir!" Fred said. Neville started walking down the hallway and turned a corner. Alice and Fred looked at each other, each thinking the same thing.
"AAHH!" Neville yelled. He walked back around the corner. His hair was bright pink, his skin was electric blue, his eyes were neon orange, his lips were purple, and his clothes were bright yellow. He took a deep breath.
"Fred?" He said with a grimace.
"Yeah?" Fred said nervously.
"Make that two weeks of detention. And tell James to come along as well."
"WHAT?" A bodiless voice yelled.
"Yes, you too, James. And remind me to send an owl to your father, Fred, about how he needs to stop telling you stories from his school days. Now. How am I supposed to change my colors back?"
And as Fred explained how to get the colors to change back, he had a funny feeling that tomorrow at breakfast with his new girlfriend would make up for the two weeks of father-of-the-girlfriend detentions he'd earned for it.
A girlfriend and a multicolored teacher all in one night. The Weasley twins would be proud.
How was it? Brilliant? Terrible? Hit that green button and tell me!
