*bursts into tears*
-------------------------------
Shi-chan: A Kensuke. Because I'm too lazy to work on Sandglass.
-------------------------------
All That Needs to be Said
By Shimegami-chan
Author's Note: Kensuke. It actually works for episode 50, too.
Important Note!
Shameless Plugs...
'In Your Shoes,' Kenyako, chapter 5 updated June 11.
'Sadness-Colored Sandglass,' Kensuke, chapter 12 updated on May 26.
Thanks minna-san! On with the fic!
It's a beautiful day outside. Kind of makes up for a lousy fifteen years, doesn't it?
I'm kissing her good-bye, now, with promises that I'll be home in a week's time. I love you. I'll miss you. I'll call.
Empty promises.
I wonder what it'll be like, seeing him again. Both of us all grown up. Married. Me bouncing around from job to job to job in California, him working as a plainclothesman in Tamachi. We said we'd stay in touch. We didn't.
Our relationship was...different. It unnerved Miyako greatly. She was so stuck on Ken that I seemed like an almost-threat, which is more true than either of us would care to admit. Neither of us were gay, no. I certainly wasn't. I always wondered if he might be bisexual, but even with our friendship I never felt it was okay to ask. But there was this deeper connection between us, that I didn't want to beleive at first.
I was in love with my best friend.
It wasn't over looks, although the eye candy certainly helped. He was beautiful. Probably still is beautiful. Inky dark-blue hair, expressive indigo eyes, high cheekbones, soft features, pale complexion like porcelain, soft skin, lony, lanky body...the list goes on. If I saw him on the street and didn't know him, I'd still want him. Every girl in Odaiba did, at the time. But it wasn't just the looks. I looked up to Ken, when I first met him, in a puppy-dog worshipful kind of way. When he joined our misfit team of Chosen Children, he was more on equal ground. I admired his strength, his courage, his kindness, his loyalty to me and the others and his Digimon...there was nothing about Ichijouji Ken that I didn't think was amazing, astounding, perfect. His heart beat alongside mine. And when I reached out to him in friendship, he responded. I knew from then on that we had something special.
But life goes on, and so do we. After our first Jogress, our first battle together, I was sure I was losing my mind. Ken...was starting to appeal to me in a way only a few other people ever had. The prime example being Hikari. Once Ken came along my interest in her just sort of...dropped. I didn't mean for it to happen. If word got out that I liked a guy, then I was done for, and so was Ken. And I didn't even know if he liked me back.
So I stayed silent.
We kept playing soccer, we kept meeting over coffee. I told him about Jiyu, this wonderful girl I was seeing. He told me about Miyako, who he had been dating for a few months. I had all but pushed away my feelings for him, until he outright asked.
"Daisuke...what do you think of Miyako-chan?"
"Miya-chan? Um...she's great, haven't seen her in a while though..."
He looked at me with the utmost of seriousness, pushing his coffee to the side of the table. "What would you say if I told you Miayko-chan and I were engaged?"
My jaw must have hit the ground. No, no, no, no, this isn't the way it's supposed to be... But I couldn't say that, and he wanted an answer. "That's...great!" I choked out, managing to sound convincing despite myself. I grinned to good measure.
I didn't know if he beleived me. He frowned, his eyes going blank for a few seconds. "Dai..."
"What?" I put on a brave face.
"I'd be...happy...with her."
"I know, Ken. I know."
And then he kissed me.
Right over the table, leaning one arm there for support and holding my chin with the other, he captured my lips in a burst of warmth and passion, tongue darting around my mouth as though trying to taste every part at once. A million protests ran through my mind--
My God, Ken, not in public--
What would Jiyu think--
Miyako is going to kill me--
We're both guys--
Why--
Why, Ken?
I savoured the moment, knowing on instinct that such a chance might never come again. Euphoria and confusion slammed into me like a wave, blood pounding in my ears until he finally, finally pulled away and looked me in the eyes--
"Thank you."
I didn't know what to say. "I...you're welcome."
Scanning the café--most of whose patrons were staring at us in shock--we paid out bills, took our jackets, and left.
I never saw him again.
I got the letter a few weeks ago. Miyako had looked me up, called my house, talked for a few hours with my wife--and decided I was no longer a threat to her and Ken's relationship. The Ichijoujis invited me to their Tamachi home to stay for a while, since I hadn't seen them in so long. Jiyu stayed home, not wanting to take a week off work, but I was happy to go. I was in between jobs again, trying to decide where to go from here. I wanted to move back to Odaiba and open a ramen business, but could go anywhere until Jiyu finished for the year. She was a schoolteacher, and taking off in the middle of March probably wasn't the best choice for her. So she stayed in Los Angeles, and I went to visit Tamachi. She told me everything about Miyako, as though I didn't already know--they had a young daughter, and Miyako was a housewife, wasn't that wonderful? I vaguely hoped she wasn't intending to quit her job if and when we ever had children. We'd discussed it, sure, but never actually went ahead with it. Someday. Someday.
I'm jolted back to reality by a whimper in my carry-on bag. "Are we there yet?"
Chibimon, in a smaller form so he could travel easier, had finished with the flight's peanuts and had started chewing on the leather of my bag. Apparantly it wasn't very nutritional. "In a minute, Chibi. We're landing."
The blue digimon sighed and hung out of the bag, his tiny arms drooping. "'Kay."
"'Kay." We sit in silence for another few moments as the plane rolls to a stop and the seatbelt sign flashes into darkness. I'm picking up the bag, now, and my jacket from the seat. I head into the unfamiliar airport, scanning the crowds for a sign Miyako or Ken.
Ken. Will he come to meet me? We're still friends, right? Old emotions come flooding back to me and I almost wish I'd never stepped off the plane. What if we don't connect anymore? What if he's changed?
What if I still love him?
There he is; I'd recognize that silky dark hair anywhere. He hasn't changed much. He looks more...mature. His hair is in the same cut it was when I last saw him, but he's taller, and more filled out. His eyes are a little smaller, somehow. But I'd know him anywhere. He's spotted me. He's waving.
Cold ice grips my heart.
I do still love him.
And he...
"Dai!" He runs to me and throws his arms around my neck, squeezing hard. Rather unlike him, or unlike the old Ken at least.
I return the hug with fake enthusiasm. "Ken! It's great to see you!"
His smile is genuine, but sad. He knows. "It's great to see you too."
We stare at each other in silence for a moment, before he pulls me into another, gentler hug. "Daisuke. I'm happy. I really am."
"So am I."
He knew.
And that was all that needed to be said.
----------------------------------
Shi-chan: Like? Hate? R&R, please!