Alan was shoping 4 an new ascot bc his old one was all fucked up from when they had their racist adventures in China or Mexico or smthn. The ascot store had laid out an aesthetically pleasing rainbow display of ascotss. He was lloking at a boottyful red ascot when a man stopped next 2 him to looking at the orange apricots.

The man was really, reallu hot. He had a helmet of really yellow hair. He had big muscles, so you knew he was a MASCUline. Alan was immediately in love. He turned to the pretty stranger, "Hey. How bout dem ascots, eyyy?"

The man turned to him. "Haha, zoinks yeah. My name is Freddie from Scooby-Doo. Who is u?"

"Oh, I'm Alan from Josie and the PussyCats."

"DO you have a last name?"
"Nah lmao."

"Haha, jenkies! Hey, u seem like a cool dude. I like your hair, it's really yellow and helmet like, its real chic and not outdated at all."

"Gee thanks! My friend Josie helped me cut it, but she did this weird thing where she like stradled me to cut it? Haha what a fun friend, only one of a moderate number of colorful characters I have in my life who I platonically love."

"I know what you mean! I also am friends with a medium-sized cast of interesting caricictures! One of them is named Daphne, she is practically my bestie and sister ha ha ha ha has ha sha ha!"

Alan looked at Freed's chest, which was very big and Manly, and tried reallyS hard to Contain The Gay™, and he failed spectacularly. "Do you want 2 cum to my house and see my collection of asspricoots?"

"Heck Yea! my dude! I am always down to make new friedns through common interests, such as clotheing."

So they went back to Alan's house. Where does Alan live? Good question, dear readers. He lves in a big ole cupboard on the ground floor of Josie et al.'s Five Story Mansion (bc you kno, dat Rock Star Money). Alan really liked his cupboard. He made it his own by putting up posters of his heros, like antoni van leeuwenhoek and bobby Moynihan, and he owned a cactus bc all the cool kids on the internet told him to.

Fred walked into the cupboard. "Gee wilikers! It's so spacious in here! Kinda like my butthole"

Alan looked up from his ascot collection, which he had been staring at lovingly. "Sorry,what was dat?"

Fred chuckeled and ruffled his hair in that way that straight wihte girls think is realy hot for some reason. "Oh nothing. Hey, I think we have a really good bond"

Alan laughed. "Whatever you say." He then went to grab his favorite ascot, which was red. All his ascots were red. Veronica said she was concerned with how many red ascots Alan owned. Valerie needed to shut her damn mouth.

But when Alan grabbed his favorite red ascot, he accidentally knocked down an lamp or smth who really gives a fuck.

"Yikes!" They exclaimed simultaneously with the same voice. The lamp flickered. At that same moment, across the snow and sea in Norway, a woman named Hanna and a woman named Barbara looked up from their coffees into each others dark eyes. The inevitable has occurred. The Greyness shall arise once again, and they must run, run far away to the Forest of Repeating Trees where they may consult the Technicolored Elder. They must. God save us all.

But anyway, Fred and Alan were talking about some mysteries they solved when Alan decided to throw caution to the wind and confess his feelnigs to fredd. He lay ssuper duper seductively on his twin bed. He hummed Careless Whisper relly quietly for a hot sec, but decided that was too weird, and its hard to hum and cofess love at the same time.

aLan looked fred from scoobi dooo. "Fred, i. love u so much cum here bb."

Fred gazd at alans blond hair and tiny waste. "alan I can''t. I am a Straight."

"Butt fred, bb, plz. Look mi tiny butt. Look mi pecs."

Fredd,, cupped alans non-descript face in his hands and leaned in real close and shispered, "u rite."

Den they fuckked,

THE END