In your eyes, I'd like to stay
The wind, blowing, gusting across the atmosphere, raging beyond the sun. The stars, the moon, lost in the hurricane.
The wind, carrying the air, floating through gravity, keeping the spirits within its confinement, spiralling the whispers into distortion, reality, losing all rationality.
Obscurity prevailing, losing sense beneath the ground, the forces, conspiring within the depths below.
Will time, forever keep him waiting?
The open water, now terrifying, immersing in the ocean, now defying, resisting his essence, forbidding him access to it's serenity.
The crystal waves, daring him to disobey their demand, ready to drag him to the depths of their caves below, eager to conform him to their world, for him to swim with the sharks, and to rest his weary eyes, beneath their deep blue planet.
But little did they know, his blood shocked eyes...will never sleep again.
Lost and shattered into glass, he lay still, on the floor, pleading for no more, no more drama, the karma killing him delicately. His destiny, ripping him from the sunlit night.
For he was not a shooting star anymore, blazing across the ripples in the dark, who no one else could see.
Everyone can see him now, they see him, for who he truly is, the man he was...all along.
Diamonds, devastating his eyes, coursing, rolling down his cheeks, for he will forever belong to the aliens roaming space, his home, disappearing without a trace, did he ever, deserve to integrate within this place?
His body, spinning on the floor, memories swirling inside his mind, trying to find, an escape, from the events that have transpired.
Every once in a while, his eyes would open wide, ocean blue, lighting the four walls, staring beyond the black.
The visitors would come and go, upon hearing the incoherent noise that departed from his lips. Knowing he was not in danger, although understanding...he would never be safe.
He just lay, cold and broken on the ground, sleep... never accepting him.
...
Lying here inside this lonely room tonight, he cannot be awake, another hour. With only the dark and empty sadness of his mind...but he has, all the time in space.
Can someone explain, this conspiracy against him?
Can someone tell him how, he lost his power?
"Aaron?"
His eyes sprang to life, opening for the first time in days, the flicker of colour a sharp contrast to the nothing.
His shadow, painted across every wall. His reflection, the focus of his existence.
His face, concealed within the dark.
"Aaron?" He whispered softly again, his tone, betraying the sadness he tried so hard to bury within his soul.
Star struck, he lifted his frail frame to stand, could his eyes be seeing him? Could reality be working in unison, with the illusions in his head?
"Jackson?" The tears he was crying, now lacing his quiet, broken tone.
"It's me Aaron...it's me".
Coming closer, releasing himself from the shadows.
His face, no longer hidden behind the dark, his hands, buried within his pockets.
"Jackson", the sobs controlling his emotions, resisting his vocal cords to add volume to his words.
He was taken, taken into the arms of his life boat, the water no longer savaging his skin to cold, the warmth enveloping his spirit, the heat soothing the pain corrupting his heart.
They grasped each other for dear life, curing, healing their elements within, setting themselves free, burning their demons in the fire, they each created within the other.
A life time, came and passed, the embrace still lasting, remaining unchanged.
"Why, why did you come back?" He asked, the pieces of his life, held upon the words about to be spoken.
Jackson looked longingly at the man before him, into the hollow essence that shone out of every pore from his body.
"For you...I came back for you."
"Oh Jackson, thank you, thank you so much, please stay, please...please".
"Ok, ok, I'll stay, I'm here, I'm right here".
"Forever?"
"Forever". He wrapped his arms around him, his arms, Aaron's castle, protecting him from the world around him, protecting him from himself.
Unable to tell him, their forever...will only be for a while.
...
They lay, wrapped in each other's arms, on the floor, giving into their feelings, their desires, it's what they wanted, it's what they needed.
Time stood still, the moment frozen, locked, beneath the iron sea, within the confinement of ice.
"I'm so sorry Jay, it was my fault..."
Aaron was interrupted immediately.
"No, no Aaron, it wasn't you're fault, never think that...never, ok?"
"Jay, I never..."
"Please Aaron, it wasn't, please, please believe me". He held him tighter in his arms, manipulating the embrace to give Aaron clarity, hoping his actions will speak louder than words.
Jackson was the first to break through sound, he was here for one very special reason, he was here, to save Aaron...Again.
"Aaron, why have you been pushing everyone away, even Paddy, you should..."
"You've spoken to Paddy?" Aaron interjected erratically. "Why, why did you speak to him, why didn't you come to me first?" The hurt eclipsing every other emotion he was feeling.
"I didn't, I haven't spoken to him, to anyone, apart from you".
"Then, how do you know I've been pushing him away?"
"Well, erm...I've never left you, not really...
I've been watching you."
Aaron, the walls closing in, constricting, interfering against the flow of oxygen into his lungs.
Why was Jackson watching him?
"But, but... you've been watching me?
Words can't describe how much I've missed you, I couldn't get over you..."
"You never even tried" Jackson interjected softly.
Aaron, holding onto the last little element of control he has left, continued.
"Since you've been gone, my heart's been broken, I've been broken, for a long time...but, but it's over now, I can breathe again, now you're back."
The moment he had been resisting, now haunting his present, the dark cloud, resuming its pedestal, above his head, Jackson, now tentatively, treaded upon open water.
"Aaron I...I can't stay".
He watched the shattering of Aaron's fragile being, silently pleading for him to make it through the rain.
"No, Jackson please, don't leave me alone again, don't leave me in the dark", His words, releasing a child like essence from his core, the salt, roaming from his eyes, opening his wounds wide.
"Jackson, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done what I did I..."
"Aaron, we've been over this, it wasn't your fault", Jackson interrupted, his failure to convince Aaron of his innocence, killing his spirit softly.
Aaron crawled to the floor, resting his frail body against the wall.
Crouching down, seeking the awareness of his eyes, Jackson touched his face, delicately tracing his fingers to conform around his bone structure, his thumb, working circular motions, soothing the sobs Aaron freed from his lips.
"Why? Why do you have to leave?"
Jackson searched his gaze, begging for him to understand his honesty.
"Because, their waiting...their waiting for me, and as much as I want to, I can't hold them off any longer".
"Who, who is waiting?...Tell me."
Jackson fell silent, he wished there was another way, a way out, a way to stay in the darkness, with the man who owned his heart.
"Why can't you stay with me?" Aaron pleaded.
Speaking slowly, treading ever so softly, he set free, the truth from the dark depths of his nightmare, the dimension that kept him in captivity.
"Aaron, you're not looking at me...
You're looking ...at the ghost of me.
...
...
"What are you talking about, that film had it all, action, comedy...romance". Jackson said enthusiastically, his eyes twinkling beneath the stars.
"Yeah, I know why you liked it, you couldn't keep ya eyes off Colin Farrell".
"What can I say, I like bad boys...luckily for you", Jackson teased, his face consuming mischief.
Aaron broke free from the grasp of Jackson's hand in his, walking across the road.
"Aaron what are you doing?"
"Erm, going home", Aaron said, confused at such a stupid question, freezing in the middle of the road.
"But we're not going home, remember? We said we would meet Adam and Scarlett after the film had finished".
"But I wanna go to bed", Aaron said, frustration evident in his tone, knowing he was losing the discussion before he had even lost.
Jackson closed the space between them.
"You don't look tired".
"Who said anything about being tired, I just want to go to bed...with you", Aaron whispered, his tone laced with velvet, his confidence contrasting with his eyes, which displayed evidence of shyness.
The feeling of wonder, enchantment, sparkled around Jackson's heart, his smile, glowing for Aaron to see.
"Common Aaron, just one drink, we promised them, and I promise, I will make it up to you when we get home, anything you want...I will do".
Aaron thought carefully, before asking "Anything?"
"Anything", Jackson purred, winking to clarify his pledge, knowing he had secured a deal with the younger man.
Aaron, once again, carefully thought the deal over, before Jackson interrupted his process.
"Before you answer, let me just...sweeten the agreement", leaning in, gently capturing his lips, ever so delicately losing themselves within the euphoria.
Faster, faster, it wasn't the same, closer, closer, set to destroy who remain, louder, louder, their screams became.
One second, one instant, was all Jackson had, to think, to feel, to act.
Pushing Aaron, with all the force he held within him, away from the car, travelling at the speed of light.
Unable to secure himself, even the smallest chance of escape.
He was struck.
Floating, defying gravity, the air grasping his presence, and stealing his future, his body, so high off the ground, no sight, no sound, the comedown, hopelessly bound.
His head, crashing to the earth, splitting the cool night in two...the noise, echoing, reverberating beyond the dark sky, his lips, released no sound.
"JACKSON".
The car came to a stop, but no one came out.
Aaron rushed to his side, grasping his hand, unconsciously willing his touch, to heal him, to make him whole.
"Jackson, please, please open your eyes...please."
Jackson, lost somewhere between the burning light, and the bitter shade, an essence of twilight...he heard him, he can hear him speaking, he can hear that sound, his Aaron.
Aaron wish, was Jackson's command, with all his strength, pushing the depths of his love for him to the limits, he opened his eyes...just for him.
"Oh thank god, thank you, Jay, you're gonna be alright, everything will be alright." Aaron whispered, his tears surfacing, shedding onto his skin, he slipped his arms under him, cradling the life he lived for.
"Aaron, I'm ok, I'm ok", He said softly, his voice just audible.
"Ano, ano you are, we'll soon be home, in our nice warm bed".
Noticing the blood, the red, pouring onto the ground, surrounding his head.
Aaron desperately tried to hide his horror, painting the mask upon his face, keeping his features as neutral as possible.
The ambulance was on its way, considering the fierceness of the sound that had transpired here tonight...Aaron and Jackson, were all alone.
"Just hold on Jay, the ambulance will be here soon, ok?"
"Aaron, please, please don't cry, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere", Jackson spoke, his tone, urging to sooth Aaron's erratic beating heart.
"Ano, I just can't believe, that it's taken this, you being hurt, for me to build up the courage to tell you how I feel...
I love you Jay...with all my heart, I really do".
His words, liked eruptions of fire, beneath Jackson's skin, keeping away the cold.
For Jackson, has been wishing upon the stars, for Aaron to feel the same as him.
Trying his hardest to spread his smile across his face, to match the smile wrapping around his core, Jackson whispered slowly.
"I love you to babe, I've loved you for a long time, it's good to hear you say it back, words can't describe how it feels".
"I'm so sorry, I should have said it sooner, I'm so sorry I let you down".
"Hey, you haven't, you're everything, you're perfect, just the way you are, never think any different ok? We'll soon be home, we'll soon be home".
...
Aaron, was left alone, in the dark.
His agony, cutting through the night.
The heart that beat for only Aaron, now not beating for anyone.
The ambulance came...just a little late.
...
...
His eyes were closed, letting time float away, feeling the cold, sweeping into his system, the tears, seeping through, taking no more, dropping, like diamonds on the floor.
But Jackson touch, bringing him to life, his grasp, caressing his face, smoothing the flaws away.
"You left me, you left me all alone", Aaron whispered, the sobs taking him, possessing his every function, polluting the thoughts inside his head.
All Jackson could do, is watch. Watch his heart breaking, feel the shattering of glass beneath his hands, his feet, cutting his skin, the shards, attacking his spirit...
For that, was all that was left of him now.
"Someday, somehow, I will make it alright...just not right now", Jackson said quietly, the thought of being another world away, melting his essence to dust, gently resting on the ground.
"Aaron please, open your eyes...for me?"
Aaron tried so desperately not to hear, but his voice, his heavenly voice, travelling to the depths of his heart...he did as he was asked.
"Take me with you".
Jackson lost will of his control, the barriers, taken away, the tears streamed, down his face.
"I can't mate, I wish I could.
The stars in the sky will be shinning, just for you. I will always be with you, I promise, but you will never see me, but that doesn't mean I won't be there".
Aaron gazed into his eyes, irrationality taking hold of his mind, he began to lose himself in whirlpools, willing himself, to dive into the depths of Jackson's warm darkness, because in his eyes...he would like to stay.
"Just promise me one thing Aaron...Love, like you have never been hurt before, love like you are indestructible.
There are tonnes of fish in the water", Jackson joked, but it failed to disguise his turmoil.
For he knew, his spirit within the air, will not be set free, until the man before him, is by his side.
Aaron, the lost boy, looking longingly at him states,
"But they will never be you", his voice, barely detectable, just enough volume to be transmitted through gravity.
"You will see me again, I promise", Jackson sobbed, before adding "That is, if you still want me when the time comes."
"Course I will, don't say that, don't ever say that", he spoke furiously, tears blurring the perfection in front of him.
"Ok, Ok, I'm sorry", Jackson soothed, grasping his body, holding him in his arms, his hands, never letting him go.
The broken men, fusing, uniting once again...one last time.
"When I'm gone...carry on, don't be sad when you hear my voice in your head, listen to sound and rejoice. Please, just know, when you look up to the sky, I will be looking down on you smiling...feel no pain, just smile back.
Reluctantly, Jackson broke free from the gravity, that draws himself and Aaron together, kneeling before him.
"My love for you, will be taken with me...I'll be waiting, it will be soon, before long...I love you Aaron".
Placing a single kiss, onto his forehead.
Aaron watched him, disappearing into the elements within the atmosphere, leaving no trace, he ever existed.
His lungs, constricting, upon the screams, that were released from within his lifeless soul.
Curling in protection, his moans, for all the world to hear.
...
The silence of the sound, will keep him waiting, waiting for the hurt to stop, for his heart to beat again.
For Aaron will think of all the incredible things, Jackson has said, and the reasons why he will be missed.
For he will not resent him, when he is feeling empty, he will keep him in his memory, the man who reached him, through the dark, who stole his then, beating heart.
Knowing one day, in the clouds above, his love, will be reunited, reignited, the flames will once again burn bright, again his life will begin, the choir will sing.
For now, he knows, his love, is written in the stars...because that's where he is...
Smiling, from the top of the world.
The End