"No way."

"You have to do it."

"I am not fucking doing this!"

Pein sighed, shaking his head at the stubborn immortal before him. It wasn't like he was asking that much, but of course the zealot would argue.

"Look, Hidan, it's simple. All you have to do is take Konan out for her birthday. I'm busy, and can't do it."

"Why can't you get anyone else to do it?!"

"Because they're all out on missions!" Pein snapped.

"Kakuzu's not!"

Pein scoffed.

"Yeah, I'm going to send that scrooge out with Konan. Knowing him, he'd take the money and have them eat out of a dumpster. Hidan, just do this."

"No wa-!"

Pein had finally had enough, and slammed his fist down on the table.

"Hidan, you are doing this. If you continue to argue with me, I will take away all hair care product privileges."

Hidan's hand immediately flew to his hair, in its pristine condition. Pein knew that the only thing Hidan treasured more than Jashin was his hair, and damn it, if he had to use his most powerful weapon, he would do it.

"You wouldn't", Hidan hissed.

"Watch me."

They glared across the desk at each other for a long time, then Hidan sighed in defeat.

"Fine, I'll take the bitch out."

"Glad you see things my way, Hidan. You have reservations at Fleur's for eight. Behave, and wear a shirt."

"What?! Not only do I have to take the fucking bitch to some fucking heathen restaurant, I have to wear a shirt too?!"

"It's called life, deal with it."

"You fucking prick!"

"I've been called worse. Dismissed."

And with that, Hidan was sentenced to hell.

Hidan grumbled as he walked to the entrance of the base, scratching his sleeved arm. Not only had Pein forced him to shower and wear dress clothes, he had also forced him to leave his scythe behind, and his back felt naked without it. Which was what he wished the case to be.

He growled and again scratched at his arm, the sleeve itching. He was planning on how to get Jashin-sama to accept it as a worthy sacrifice when he saw her.

Konan stood by the entrance, in a silky blue dress, hair put up with a perfect rose placed carefully in her hair. Hidan felt his heart skip a beat at the sight, but managed to keep his annoyed look. Jashin forbid he actually enjoy the night.

Konan looked over to him, and when she saw his shirt, her face fell.

"Let me guess, Pein made you take me out?"

"Yeah, the fucker."

Konan sighed sadly, and Hidan resisted the urge to go comfort her.

"Well, where are we supposed to go?" Konan asked, looking completely unenthusiastic.

"Some place called Fleur's. We have a few hours before dinner."

Konan sighed again.

"Shall we go?"

"Might as fucking well."

They began walking to town, keeping a careful arm's length between them, like the other held the plague. There was an awkward silence, and they both looked at the ground and their surroundings then each other. Hidan growled as he remembered Pein's orders to make sure she enjoyed herself, and he sighed to himself resolutely.

"So…… What movie are you interested in watching after?"

She looked up at him, seeming as surprised at the fact that he talked to her as the fact that she was going to be stuck going to a movie with him.

"I don't know, what's playing?"

"I heard there's some chee- Er, some romance ones out."

He watched her face fall.

"Uh, yeah, some romance movie."

He chuckled at the look of absolute disgust on her face.

"Or we could watch something about a monster destroying the world?"

Her face lit up.

"Sure, that works!"

He laughed, feeling the tenseness between them disappear. They moved slightly closer to each other, arms occasionally brushing as they walked. By the time they reached the town, they were each telling stories about the partners they were stuck with, alternately laughing and sympathizing. When Hidan told her about the time Kakuzu tried to hire him out as a prostitute, he realized that he was actually beginning to enjoy himself. And here he thought it was going to be torture.

Konan laughed, bell like peals echoing across the square. Hidan's own throaty bass accompanied her, and she looked at him, smiling. Hidan looked at the clock tower, and sighed.

"We have an hour before dinner, do you just want to walk around?"

Her eyes lit up.

"Sure! Oh, did I tell you about the time Pein brought us to an inn to stay the night, and it turned out to be a brothel?"

He snorted.

"No, but I can't fucking wait to hear it."

"Well, we had been walking for a few days and were exhausted, and Pein saw the building. He thought it looked friendly, and walked in. He was surprised when the guy there told him they charged extra for threesomes! He turned so red….."

Hidan tuned out her voice as he noticed the looks given to them, and he instinctively pressed closer to Konan, as if trying to shield her from the gazes that were mentally undressing her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, and felt her jump in surprise as he bent his head down to her ear.

"Just go with it, we're getting some wrong looks", he whispered, keeping a smile on his face.

She nodded, and giggled in the act. As quickly as he could without alerting the watchers, he steered her out of there, back into the busier part of town. As soon as they were clear, he let his arm drop, and a brief look of disappointment flashed across Konan's face before she hid it. It was so fleeting, Hidan wasn't even sure he saw it.

They walked to the restaurant, Hidan heading to the front desk.

"We have a reservation", he mumbled, not really sure how to handle it. The person there sniffed at him, then sighed.

"And what name would it be under, sir?"

"Pein."

The short man checked his little book, before nodding and stepping down, prepared to lead them.

"Follow me."

Hidan waved to Konan, and she walked forward to follow the man. He led them to a table with two candles lit, and a bottle of wine, sitting in a bucket of ice.

"Here you are, sir. Would you like a moment to look over the menu?"

"That would be lovely", Konan said. The short man bowed and walked silently away, Hidan watching.

"I bet he doesn't slouch even when he's sleeping", he remarked dryly. Konan laughed, and they both sat down, picking up the menus that probably cost more than his weekly paycheck. Each.

Looking at the exotic names for dishes, Hidan growled, "What the hell is this shit? Escargot? What the fuck is that?"

"Snail, Hidan."

Hidan made a face and looked for something slightly familiar. No way was he testing just how immortal he really was.

Konan laughed at his expression, and poured through the menu herself, looking for something to eat. When the man came back, they each placed their orders, Hidan getting steak while Konan ordered some fancy pasta. The man poured their wine and left, and Konan took a sip while she watched Hidan.

"You're not going to drink any?"

"Drinking alcohol goes against the scriptures of Jashin-sama."

She gave him an odd look, but continued sipping at her wine, looking happy. They idly chatted until the food came, and Hidan gaped at the steak he had ordered.

"That's fucking it? Jashin damn it, that thing's smaller than shit!"

"It's cooked for the flavor, Hidan", Konan said, twirling her fork in her pasta, eating a small bite.

"We better stop somewhere to get something else", Hidan grumbled, shoving a piece of steak in his mouth. Konan laughed at his expression, and he rolled his eyes and smiled back. The dinner chat was light and cheerful, discussing various matters. They shared their opinions on various things, such as exactly how greedy Kakuzu really was, and just what Deidara actually did with his hands.

"I bet he creates 'art' of a different kind", Hidan snickered, and Konan laughed along with him. They finished their dinner, the bill placed on the tab Pein had established. Laughing, they exited the restaurant, Hidan with his hands shoved in his pockets, Konan holding onto her purse.

Once a dango stand came within sight, Hidan rushed over, fishing out money and buying the food. Konan laughed at the dramatic gesture as Hidan shoved the food in his mouth, mumbling about how if he ate like that every day even HE would starve to death. Picking one out of his small pile, he handed it to Konan, who took it in surprise.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"If you don't want it, I'll fucking take it back."

Konan rolled her eyes and took a small bite, smiling. Hidan smiled back, and they were both silent as they walked, Konan taking delicate bites while Hidan wolfed his down.

He led her to the movie theater, looking at the posters of the movies that were playing.

"Sure you don't want to watch 'Where the sunset is'? Hidan teased, poking a finger at Konan.

"No, but if you want to watch it that bad I suppose I could endure it", she responded lightly, laughing as Hidan looked confused. "Oh, never mind."

"Whatever. Want to fucking watch 'The serpent of Manadon'?"

"What's that about?"

"I have no fucking clue, but the snake on the poster is eating someone, so it must be good."

Konan laughed again, saying, "Of course it is, Hidan."

They decided to buy tickets for the movie, and they walked into the theater, Hidan holding the small tub of popcorn he had bought. While the movie played, they both snacked out of the bucket, blushing each time their hands touched. However, the dark theater hid their faces, and they were glad.

When the movie ended, they walked out with the rest of the crowd, Hidan grumbling as he threw the popcorn bucket away.

"That was the worst fucking movie I have ever seen. How the hell did a twelve year-old beat the fucking mile-long snake? Seriously? That's just fucking pathetic."

"It's a movie, Hidan. They needed to end it happily."

He stared at her.

"How is the snake eating an entire town happy?"

"You know what I mean!" Konan exclaimed, reaching up to hit the back of his head. He laughed and ducked away, mock surrendering.

With the movie over, there was nothing left to do but go back, and they walked through the dark roads, quiet as they enjoyed each others' presence. Finally, Hidan reached over and twined his fingers with hers, and she gave him a startled look before gently squeezing back, smiling softly.

However, base approached them all too quickly, and Hidan sighed as he released her hand, turning to face her before heading the opposite way in the tunnels.

"Well, it was….. fun."

Konan smiled.

"I really enjoyed myself, Hidan. Thanks for taking me out."

He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Ah, it was nothing, seriously."

Konan grinned and waved, starting to turn away.

"Good night, Hidan."

He watched her leave, standing with his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, good night."

As Hidan went to bed that night, he remembered how soft Konan's hands were in his own.