Lost. Love Will Find Its Way.

By: Rushel

(A/N: This is JUST the background and introduction to a new fic. The first post will be two months after the accident or 'tragedy' if you prefer. But the next post will pick up three years after. I hope you enjoy. Please let me know if it is worth pursing).

Chapter 1: Poof- The Three Years vanished!

It's been three years since Marissa, Seth, Ryan and Summer graduated Harbor High. Three years since they have been the 'fantastic four' and three years since things even made the slightest bit of sense. And this is where our story begins….

But before that, let's give a little history… Yes, three years ago Marissa was in a car accident, a horrific one, which in return changed life as we know it in the OC. Resulting from Volchok's vengeance, Marissa was almost murdered. Fortunately she survived, but not unscathed. For two and a half months, Marissa's slim and fragile frame lay in a hospital bed, in a deep healing sleep. Ryan, never leaving her side, was praying for the day to come that he would once again see the blues of her eyes again. A day that might not ever arrive…

Two and a half months after graduation. If Ryan had had his choice, he would have never left the side of the one and only girl he truly ever loved. He wanted and needed to be the first one she saw once she awoke. But as the summer months started to come to a close and more and more hope was lost, Sandy had used his lawyer's persuasive arguments and convinced Ryan that he should attend university. "It's what Marissa would want for you." Sandy had told him. Ryan agreed, but not with his entire heart. How could he live on if she was dying beside him? It was as if a huge part of him was laying there helpless. Marissa WAS a part of him, whether he wanted to admit it or not. But he knew deep down that Sandy was right. He was almost always right. The only thought that made him able to move forward, was the idea that once she was awake, he wanted to be strong for her, and well on his way to being the mature man she deserved. She was the one that had wanted to go away and 'mature.' But he couldn't help but ask; maybe he was the one that needed to. And so, with great hesitation Ryan packed his things, and spent a few days moving those possessions to Berkley. Classes were going to start the following Monday, which meant that Ryan still had the weekend to spend time with the quiescent Marissa.

Only being gone for a little less than a week was difficult enough on him, how was he going to spend weeks at a time away from her? These thoughts ran through his mind as he returned back to Newport. He skipped going home to let the Cohen's know that he had arrived safely and went straight to the hospital. Although he had made Kirsten promise to call him if there were any changes, he had this deep feeling in the pit of his gut, that maybe, just maybe he would return to a surprise.

A surprise was a bit of an understatement. As he raced through the long white halls, practically knocking over an evening nurse, he returned to Marissa's room with a glisten of hope in his own gorgeous blues. But before he even reached the door, he noticed something was different. Where was her name? They usually had her name on the outside of the door. Catching his breath, he peeked his head inside the room first. But instead of finding her long frame engulfed in the white hospital sheets and a room full of flowers and cards, he saw nothing… nothing but an empty room and the setting sun shining in through the blinds, landing on a nicely made bed.

"Excuse me, are you Mr. Cohen?" a petite red haired nursed interrupted his daze.

Ryan immediately turned around and shook his head. "No, I uh… well he is my father."

The nurse nodded, remembered what the young, overbearing woman had instructed her. 'Not to give the letter to the young blonde haired boy, but ONLY to a Mr. Sandy Cohen.' But the woman was so rude to the nurse that she didn't care.

"Well this letter has been left for your father, could you see to it that he gets it?" And with that she handed him the envelope and began to walk out the door.

Ryan took the envelope from the woman, and studied the handwriting carefully. He looked back up, completely confused, and getting this utterly horrifying feeling that Marissa had… no it couldn't be, he pushed the thoughts immediately out of his head.

"Miss…" he began trembling as he spoke. "The girl that was here, Marissa Cooper… where is she?"

The nurse paused one more time, knowing it wasn't her place to say anything. "I believe everything is explained in the letter."

About three hours earlier… Julie was sitting in the hospital room next to Marissa's bed reading the latest issue of Cosmopolitan. Neil and Summer had just been there, but had now gone home for the evening to fill their empty stomachs, shower and sleep. Probably for other things as well. She knew that the time everyone spent there was getting less frequent. Julie didn't blame them for not staying with her. It was depressing, and monotonous, especially with no changes in Marissa's state. The first few weeks after the accident, they, as in EVERYONE that cared about Marissa, were there practically every chance they got. The only person there more often than the others was Ryan. Who, much to Julie's protest, had convinced the nurses to let him stay the night on most occasions. But it had been nearly three months since the catastrophe, and a lot of her friends were trying desperately to resume their lives to normal; at least that was to the best of their ability.

Julie had been civil to Ryan for the most part, but only for the sake of Kirsten and Sandy. She tolerated him hanging around Marissa, but that was because she was still asleep. She had actually spoken to Sandy about talking to him, and getting him to go to school. She had been convincing enough to make Sandy believe it was for Ryan's own good, but really it was for her own as well. With him around, she never got any alone time with her daughter. But still, she didn't let that show, she remained well-mannered to him.

In the mean time it was ripping her apart inside. She knew that he hadn't solely caused the accident, but she couldn't help but wonder if her baby would still be laying there unconscious and completely helpless if he had never shown up to Newport to begin with. Things had changed drastically once Ryan arrived in Orange County; she had just wished that she could have protected Marissa from everything. She knew that she wasn't a saint either, and could finally admit that some of… ok a lot of the drama was caused by her. But deep down all she ever wanted was to provide for her family. So it was easier to put the blame on him.

Julie was lost in her thoughts, thumbing through the magazine and looking at the pictures, but not really paying attention to the content of the pages. She shifted in her chair, uncrossing her legs, and then crossing them the other way. Maybe it was the thought of having so much animosity towards Ryan that was making her uncomfortable, or maybe it was because she had been in the chair for over an hour. She looked up to the clock and saw that it was just about time for the doctor's to switch shifts. This gave her a bit of hope, maybe Dr. Shadrai would have news about Marissa's state. The last time they had talked, he had mentioned a new wing in a famous hospital in Italy that specialized in what Marissa would need if she ever woke up. He seemed pretty excited about the possibilities, but until she at least came to, it was really too dangerous to ship her anywhere.

Julie of course couldn't help but think that taking Marissa away would be a great thing for her. It is what Marissa wanted to do after graduation anyway, leave Newport. But this time Julie would be going with her, no arguments. And yet, she had the sticky feeling that most likely Marissa would never agree to it, not after what had happened.

Standing up, Julie tried to flatten out the creases in her pants while heading for the door, when suddenly she heard a slight murmur, barely audible.

"I have no one."

Julie stopped dead in her tracks and looked around to where the noise was coming from. "Marissa?" She gasped, and held her hand to her heart, immediately running over to her beloved daughter, and looking down to her pale face, to see if it came from her. Not that there was anyone else in the room to where the whisper could have come from, but Julie might have been dreaming… god was she dreaming?

"Marissa, honey, it's me… your mom."

She waited with great anticipation, as her heart seemed to be thrashing out of her chest. But the longer she waited, she saw that there was no movement. Her lips curled into a small frown and she sighed, placing her hand on Marissa's hand, and letting her head hang low.

"Julie, you are going crazy." She spoke to herself, really thinking that maybe she should go visit the psych ward down the hall.

Her entire body started to curl over, clearly she shouldn't have just gotten her hopes up. And just as she was about to give up and walk out, assuming she was just hearing things, she felt Marissa's fingers twitch. Immediately her eyes opened wide again, and she could see Marissa's eyes begin to flutter open.

Julie couldn't believe her eyes. Although she had always hoped for this moment, there was part of her that wasn't sure it would ever happen. She grew excited, and tears started to stream down her face.

"Marissa, oh my god, my Marissa…you're awake!" The rest of her words were muffled as she buried her head into Marissa's shoulder and spoke and cried into her hospital gown as she embraced her. If she would have stayed upright to see Marissa's face it would be one of complete confusion and fear.

"Mom.." she started weakly, and attempted to lift her hands, but they felt like logs attached to her thin body. "Mom, what is going on? Where am I?"

Slowly Julie rose back erect and looked down to her daughter, realizing she would be really scared and confused, seeing how two months had passed and she was asleep the entire time. What she didn't know was that to Marissa, it was a lot more than just two months. She didn't bother wiping the tears from her eyes or the mascara that was staining her cheeks. She just stood there and looked deep into her daughter's eyes.

"Marissa honey, you were in an accident… you… that stupid boy… he." Normally Julie always knew just what to say, but given the situation, she wasn't sure where to begin.

Marissa's memory finally started to come into focus. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to recollect what had happened last. But it seemed like everything was clouded, and she searched long and hard before she had even a glimpse of the tragedy, her mistake. She reopened her eyes and saw her mom standing there sobbing and barely being able to stand.

"Mom… I… I didn't mean to hurt myself, I just." Marissa didn't know where to begin. All she could remember was trying to numb the pain… the pain of her parents getting a divorce, and the pain of the only guy she had ever been with cheating on her. "I just wanted to forget."

Julie stood there staring at her daughter with a dumbfounded look upon her elegant face. For some reason, although she was pale, and it was obvious her body was weak, Marissa seemed to have some sort of innocence in her eyes. It seemed as if Julie was looking into the eyes of a much younger version of Marissa.

"Marissa…" she spoke her name again, saying it as much as she could, due to the fact that she hadn't spoke it for so long. "Sweetie, what are you talking about?"

It was now Marissa's turn to start to cry. She was so confused. What WAS she talking about? She wasn't even sure she knew. And her brain seemed so murky and unclear. She tried wiping away her tears, but they kept coming.

"I just took those pills because I wanted it to stop hurting, and I thought that….that…." she couldn't finish her sentence.

Julie wasn't sure what was going on, but seeing the look on Marissa's face made her realize that something was terribly wrong, even more wrong than being asleep for two months. She sat down on the edge of the bed, and wrapped her arms around her once again, stroking her hair, and trying to calm her.

"Shh Marissa, its ok… it's going to be ok." She sat there rocking back and fourth slightly, letting Marissa cry onto her shoulder, and still letting a few tears of her own continue to escape from her eyes. She looked around the room trying to make sense of what was going on, did Marisa mean that she had taken pills before she had gotten into Ryan's car? But why? None of it was making sense.

Marissa was now trembling, and it was as if she were dealing with everything for the first time again. And yet, this time around she didn't clam up, she let it all out. She pulled back from her Mom's embrace and looked her in the eye, fury written across her face. She hadn't even told her that they were getting a divorce… why didn't either of them tell her?

"Why didn't you tell me mom!" She almost screamed. "I left for TJ, and Dad had to tell me over the phone!"

Just then it hit Julie, Marissa wasn't talking about the accident, she was talking about Tijuana… she was reliving three years ago.

"Marissa!" She was shocked by her sudden outburst, but before any more dialogue could be spoken, Dr. Shadrai and a few nurses came flying through the doors, all shocked to see Marissa was awake. And before Julie knew it, she was being dragged out into the hall so that they could examine her daughter.

She sat there for a few moments, having to take solace in the nearest chair she could find. Lowering herself slowly, her eyes were open wide. Taking it all in, and realizing that for some reason Marissa had forgotten the last three years. Why would Marissa have blocked out the last three years? What did this mean for them?

Julie's thoughts were running rampant now at what this predestined. The doctor spent a good hour in the room with Marissa, and although Julie wanted to be back in there, it gave her time to think things through. Finally, Dr. Shadrai came out with a huge smile upon his face.

"Mrs. Cooper-Nichol." He began, moving to the chair beside her. "I have good and bad news…"

He then continued to tell Julie that Marissa was physically doing really well. Her body appeared to heal a great deal while in her slumber, and now that she was awake they could perform better tests on her. But the bad news was, for some reason she was experiencing a rare case of amnesia. It didn't appear to be complete amnesia, because she would remember her name and all of her family. But this selective amnesia made her believe that she was still in high school… three years ago.

After a series of questions with her, asking her what she remembered, he came to the conclusion that for some reason, Marissa's mind had blocked out the last three years due to something horrific. He wasn't sure why, and he was ready to run some more tests, to get to the bottom of the trauma. Marissa had been so confused and hysterical that they had to sedate her until they found out more.

And although Julie already knew what the doctor was telling her, a smile came to her face as he confirmed it. Dr. Shadrai then started to give her a list of possibilities of where they could go from there, how Marissa may not ever regain that memory back if her mind wouldn't let her. But with the right therapy miracles could happen. He continued on, starting to go over their options, and asking Julie who she wanted to call to tell them the news. But before he could finish, Julie shook her head 'no' and interrupted him mid sentence.

"I want to take her to Italy…." She paused for a moment, and looked back into the old man's eyes. "Immediately."