Salvation

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: I say hello and you are supposed to say hi! Just Kidding! So, here is my latest story about Leah Clearwater and Benedict Brooks. It's a spinoff of Falling for Brady: An Imprint's Story. This is my first Leah Clearwater fic, so be kind, review and let me know if I am doing her some justice... enjoy!

Leah Clearwater

I was seventeen years old, when I had already planned my life and I was happy with the results. I was graduating high school early, my boyfriend of three years had finally proposed and I had accepted. We were going to move out of La Push and move to Colorado State to start at the local university together. I was going to be a nurse, just like my mother and he was going to be a teacher. We were ready to set sail on our adventure together. Everything was going to be perfect; our lives were going to be perfect; except perfection never came and only a cloud of darkness followed after me.

I laid on the floor, brushing the dirt off the bone carefully, just like I had been taught many years ago, before I even dreamed of becoming an archaeologist. This was where I belonged, amongst the dead people. People that had died thousands, even millions of years ago, they would never judge me. People that would never infuriate me and cause me to lose my temper and phase in front of them, harming them, hurting them for being fucking stupid.

"Dr. Clearwater," Elliot Hawthorn, my assistant said, as he crouched low enough to the point where his crotch was on my face. "How is the digging coming?" he asked excitedly.

I growled, sliding down on the floor, away from him and continued to meticulously brush the dirt off the female femur that might team and I had found around the outskirts of the hot desert of Africa. It was one of the greatest discoveries of the time. I was the one heading the excavation and I was the person in charge of forty fucking retard students that wanted to learn how to be the best, from me, a big famous and renowned archaeologist.

"Move away from my light, H." I ordered, without even lifting my head to look at him. I didn't need the light. I could do this with as little light possible. My enhanced vision would allow me to unearth the bone in less time that I was taking, but I needed to be believable. Hawthorn moved and was now sitting behind me. I could feel his hot breath tickling on the skin of my neck and I wanted to punch him. "Get away from me, H. You are breathing on me!"

"Yes, I'm sorry." he said apologetic, as he moved the opposite direction from me and sat down, crossing his legs, looking from me to the bone.

"So, is it true?" he asked sadly.

I raised my head to stare at him and sighed annoyed. "What, H?"

He cleared his throat and placed the palms of his hands on the African soil. "Are you relating your position to Dr. Cross from the University of Maryland?"

I continued doing my brushing, ignoring his breathing and his question. I didn't want anyone to know of my departure, but rumors and gossip were spread like wild flower amongst our staff. "What have you heard?" I asked intrigued. I still hadn't made it official, but yes, I had decided to retired from the field work. I wanted to teach and I also wanted to keep my distance from Elliot Hawthorn. I was becoming addicted to our nice of sexual rump.

"I heard that you are going back to the states," he paused and got up and walked around me. He gazed at me intrigued. I could hear his heart beat softly and I felt sorry for him. "Are you really living?"

"Yep," I said sharply.

"But, why? Did someone died back home? I mean, that's the only time a person should go back to the states, right?" he asked desperately.

"No, I just need to go, H." I snapped.

"But, why?" he asked. "Did I do something to you? If I did, I am sorry."

I raised my eyes to him and sighed. "You didn't do anything, H. I just have to go. I have been out of the main land and I still haven't met my niece Bridget." I whispered, my brown eyes fixed on his green, bright orbs. He gave me the saddest look. I liked the kid, but that was all that I could feel for him. I would never feel love for any other man, ever again. "I've had this feeling for the last two years... nagging at me to return home. I can't explain it, but I can't ignore it again."

"What about the excavation and the glory of discovering such an amazing burial site?" he said, hiding his sadness behind a forced smile.

"I still will get the credit and so will you." I said, returning my attention to my work.

"That's not what I am worried about." he said, placing his warm hand on mine. He'd gotten used to my hot and feverish temperature.

"Then what is it, H? You want me to tell you that what happened between you and me was amazing. It was, and I told you that all I wanted in this point of my life is a physical relationship. I don't want to hurt you, but from two weeks ago to now, I haven't developed any feelings for you, H?" I said brassily.

"No, but that would be nice if you felt a bit of love for me. I can't forget what happened between you and I, C." Elliot said despondently.

"Well," I paused, feeling like a fucking demon for hurting him. I knew how it felt when a person played with your feelings and emotions. But I needed to do this! He would thank me in the future. "That's not gonna happen, H."

"I noticed." he said miserably. "You are the first person I have met that loves bones more than a real, fleshy human. If you really didn't like me, why did you lead me on... why did we fucking do it?" he hissed furiously.

"You want to know why, Elliot?" I asked lividly. He nodded and moved away from me. "Bones don't hurt you. Learn that lesson now, that it's still early in your damn life, Hawthorn. People hurt you! Love hurts and is useless..."

His green eyes, stared at me with such pity. I wanted to rip them out of their sockets. I was so fed up with people pitying me. Even after Emily's and Sam's wedding, all I got was pity from the people on the reservation. I couldn't take it anymore! I went to the University of Michigan and from there is history. I became focused on my career and advanced in my field of work and excelled.

"Leah," he said softly.

"It's Dr. Clearwater, Hawthorn. Don't use familiarity with me." I said angry.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." he mumbled. "I just thought that you and I,"

"You and I what, H?" I interjected. "Did I ever give you a speck of hope?" I hissed, as I sat on my butt. He shook his head and sighed.

"No, I didn't! I never gave you any hopes. I was cleared from the beginning with you. When you confessed your admiration and love for me, I told you that I felt nothing for you. I am not interested, or will I ever be interested in love again. Yes, I did sleep with you. Every once in a while, I need some. I won't deny you that. I am human and sex is something that I have casually... You can call me a whore whatever you want, H, but I don't want to have a relationship with anyone."

"Too bad," he said sadly. "I could've made you happy."

"I doubt it." I mumbled. "But if that's what you tell yourself to go to sleep, then by all means, go ahead. But remember this, H, I don't believe in love. Love doesn't exist. Love is a chemical reaction in the brain and it messes with you. We mate, because we want to further our genetic material with the best suitable individual out there... Saint Valentines is for losers and it's just a way of garnering money. We are in the Animal kingdom because, even though, we can communicate we are still animals, H."

I got up and walked away, leaving a very dejected Hawthorn behind. I was tired of life. There were times that I thought of ending it. I was in pain, for the way things ended with Sam and I. I still held hope that he would fight whatever shit tied him to Emily and he would return to me. But, after ten years of nothing changing, I gave up and became bitter. But after all the bitterness subsided, I became numb. My heart became hard like a stone, cold and dead.