Hello ^^
Yeah... Well, this is my first English fanfiction... Actually, it's the first I've uploaded :D So please don't kill me for my grammar that might or might not be atrocious, since I'm not a native speaker and still going to a Gymnasium.
Aaand... You might notice a few... rather strange comments or descriptions. This is because this "fanfiction" was supposed to be an English assignment XDD We had to pick twelve adjectives from a box and combine it with a noun. We didn't know that we had to write a story until our teacher gave us homework, so I had a few really strange things in my list...
The "I hate my English teacher for not telling us earlier that we have to write a story using this"-list:
1. a homeless hobo
2. a national hero
3. an understandable problem
4. a powerless coward
5. a meaningless life
6. a painful death
7. a smelly Swiss cheese
8. a dirty place
9. a cloudy day
10. a usual occurence
11. a careless man
12. a trendy pair of sunglasses
Dedication: This fanfiction is dedicated to EleenaKoi (fanfiktion .de/u/Eleena+Koi and fanfiction u/1136305/). You actually got this lazy ass (me) to upload this story (...I think it wasn't even your intention :D), because I didn't want you stalking me in vain. I'd like to thank my English teacher for the assignment (let's just call it the 'inspiration'). Since you took the copies of the fanfiction with you, I'm assuming you are currently spending the Pfingst-holidays reading it and facepalming. I also want to thank my best friend littlegirl for being my Beta ^^
Disclaimer: Capcom owns "Ace Attorney"... If I owned Ace Attorney I would know what will happen in Gyakuten Saiban 5 :D And I can't wait! Oh, and I would be a bit better in Japanese...
Turnabout Justice
Investigation
May 17, 9:26 AM
Wright & Co. Law Offices
"Are you finished cleaning the bathroom?" yelled a smirking girl across the Wright & Co. Law Offices.
"Are you finished watering Charley?" responded a spiky-haired attorney grumpily. "If you continue to dump water on the poor plant, he'll drown, Maya."
"That's not going to happen," she said happily. "Charley's a tough guy. You could probably kill someone with him and he would survive."
Phoenix Wright sighed. "Please don't say that. You'll end up jinxing it."
"But, out of curiosity," she said, putting the watering can away. "Why do you always scrub the cleanest bathroom of Los Angeles?"
"Because I value hygiene. We don't have a case right now, so I have time to-"
"Mr Wright!" yelled a slightly hysterical female voice. "Mr Wright, we've got a problem!"
(Oh no…)
„Who ended up jinxing it?" Maya asked sarcastically.
Ema Skye, wearing her trendy pair of sunglasses, stormed into the office. "My sister's a suspect in a murder case! Again!"
Phoenix, also known as Nick, stared at the future scientific investigator. "The police arrested her again?" he inquired flabbergasted.
"Yeah, because some homeless hobo called Justice Turn… Or something like that… was killed."
"Some… homeless hobo," Phoenix repeated, still waiting for the information to sink in.
"Nick, who's that?" a curious Maya asked. "Do you know each other?"
"Yes," he answered. "I defended her sister in a case which was ironically labeled the SL-10 Incident."
"'Ironic' like Edgeworth's case that was labeled the DL-7 Incident?"
"Exactly."
"I'm Ema Skye," the other girl introduced herself. "The sister of former Chief Prosecutor and now Detective Lana Skye and a pro at forensics."
Maya grinned and nodded. "I'm Maya Fey… um, the manager at Wright & Co. Law Offices."
(I wonder how forensics-loving Ema would react if we told her that Maya is also a spirit medium…)
"Well, we don't have time for pleasantries!" the forensics-nut exclaimed, going back to the original topic. "We have to go to the detention center!"
May 17, 9:38 AM
Detention Center
Visitor's Room
The trio waited in the visitor's room for Lana, who had yet to come back from questioning.
After a few minutes a woman with a red muffler appeared.
"Hello Ema," she greeted her sister. "Hello, Mr Wright and… Am I right to assume that your name is Maya Fey?"
Surprised, the Master of the Kurain Channeling technique nodded. "Yes," she answered. "May I ask how you knew my name?"
Lana smiled. "I was friends with your sister, Mia Fey, and she told me a lot about you. She looked like you when she was younger."
"Okay, okay," Ema said impatiently. "We really don't have time for that. Mr Wright, you're going to be my sisters lawyer, right?"
(Everyone makes decisions concerning me without asking me first…)
"Y- Yes, of course", he agreed, resigning himself to his fate. "Would you please tell me the details of your case, Ms Skye?"
"The murder occurred yesterday at around 9 PM right in the street of the police department. The victim is Justin Twist-"
Phoenix looked at Ema, who shrugged helplessly.
(Somehow… This name rings a bell.)
"-He was shot five times with a gun, every single bullet got stuck in his body. The first two killed him instantly when they were shot through his back. It wasn't a very painful death."
"And who exactly was this Justin Twist?" Phoenix asked.
Suddenly, the room went dark and chains encircled the detective.
(Two Psyche-Locks!)
"He was just a homeless man. I have never met him."
(Ugh… She met him. That's not good.)
"So…" Maya murmured. "He was a… smelly Swiss cheese?" Everyone looked at her dumbfounded. "You know… A hobo… Five bullets in the body… This is the wrong time for jokes, isn't it?"
(This was supposed to be a joke?)
"And," Nick continued, "Why were you accused of murdering him?"
"My office is directly above the scene of the crime, which would have been very convenient if I had been the murderer. And my fingerprints were on the 'murder weapon'."
(Not again…)
"Don't tell me you walked by, saw the body, became dazed and picked up a pistol lying randomly on the floor without thinking," Phoenix groaned.
Lana stared at him. "I'm not that stupid!" she exclaimed.
(Edgeworth… You just got insulted.)
"No, actually, the supposed murder weapon was my gun; the ballistic fingerprints confirm this. It's the standard model for every detective in the precinct."
"But, this would mean that every detective of the precinct is a possible suspect!"
She shook her head. "No. It is a confirmed fact that my gun was fired exactly five times on the day of the murder."
Phoenix felt the sudden urge to bang his head against the glass.
"And why, pray tell me, were you shooting yesterday?" he asked exasperated, throwing his hands in the air.
She looked at him as if trying to say 'Isn't that obvious?'
"I am a detective", she answered, looking annoyed at the fact that she had to spell it out for him. "Sometimes we get into dangerous situations in which we have to defend ourselves."
"Oh… Right," he said embarrassed. "And what did you do yesterday?"
"I had an encounter with a few thugs which could have went better," Lana answered. "Luckily nobody from the force was hurt in the incident. I went back to the police station and went home when my shift ended. I did not know anything about the murder until they arrested me this morning."
(What a great surprise at the beginning of a day.)
"Well…" Phoenix decided, "We should go to the crime scene to investigate."
"Yeah!" exclaimed Ema. "It's going to be totally awesome… Scientifically speaking, of course."
May 17, 9:58 AM
Dead End
It was a dead end, quite a dirty place, right next to the police department. Policemen were running around like headless chickens. In the middle of the whole mess stood Detective Gumshoe, looking as lost as always. Since he was staring into the sky, Phoenix assumed that he was trying to see something in the clouds; It was a very cloudy day, after all.
"Hey, Detective Gumshoe!" Maya yelled. He turned around, spotted Maya and waved to her awkwardly. "You're in charge of the investigation?"
(Maya… For some reason, he's in charge of every investigation when I'm the defense, haven't you noticed? It's a usual occurrence!)
"That's right, pal," Gumshoe answered, looking a bit proud. "And let me guess; you're the defense?" he said to Phoenix who nodded.
"Have you found anything yet?" asked the attorney.
"Well, we found the body", Gumshoe said before adding: "He was only a chunk of smelly Swiss cheese by the time we got here, pal."
Maya looked smug.
"Nothing else?" asked Phoenix.
"There was a pistol lying next to the victim, but it doesn't fit the description of the murder weapon and it only fired once. Apparently the victim carried it with him. I think I've got the facts about the weapon… Here," he announced, handing Phoenix a copy of the file.
"He used it to defend himself from his attacker?" inquired the lawyer.
Gumshoe seemed to think about it.
"Now that you mention it, pal," he confessed, "It seems like a probable idea."
(This is so typical for Gumshoe…)
"Wait, no!" he exclaimed. "If the victim defended himself, the bullet would be lying somewhere on the ground."
"Or would be stuck in the body of the attacker," said Phoenix. "In this case, it would impossible for Ms Skye to be the murderer, since she's not bleeding."
"Yeah, you're right, pal," the detective murmured. "But still… We have an eyewitness. It doesn't look good for Detective Skye."
(I feel a migraine coming.)
Phoenix sighed. "Then, could you please give me more details about the victim?"
His head started to throb when he heard the sound of the chains appearing. A Psyche-Lock.
(Not again!)
"H- He was only a random hobo, pal, who went with the name Justin Twist."
(Now I know for sure that this guy was more than just that.)
"If you are interested… Here is the autopsy report." Gumshoe handed Phoenix the file.
"Ugh… Okay. Who's going to be the prosecutor?" asked the lawyer.
Gumshoe scratched the back of his head. "It's Prosecutor Godot, pal."
Silence.
"WHAAAAT?" spluttered Phoenix. "But- But… Wasn't he… You know, found guilty of murder?"
Gumshoe chuckled embarrassed. "Actually… Yeah, but no one in the Prosecutors Office wanted the job, so they took him."
(How low has our justice system sunken? …Great, now I have to deal with a coffee-obsessed, riddle-loving guy on top of all this mess!)
"May we investigate the crime scene?" the attorney asked.
"Why not, pal," Gumshoe said. "Well, I'll be going now, getting some instant noodles." And he skipped off.
(Why not…? Maybe because it's forbidden for defense attorneys to snoop around the crime scene; Not that I'm complaining.)
"He doesn't seem very professional," Ema observed. "Scientifically speaking."
(Your 'scientifically speaking' is always out of place.)
They walked over to the human-shaped white mark in the middle of a gruesome-looking puddle of dried blood. A few feet away were two things: An empty can and some rags. Next to it was a small object. Phoenix took a closer look at it.
"It's a bullet", he announced. "But there's no blood on it."
"May I see it?" Ema requested. "Maybe scientific investigation will help us." He handed her the bullet.
"It's not from the victim's weapon", she concluded after comparing the file received from Gumshoe with the bullet.
"How do you know this?" asked Maya curiously.
"That's actually very easy, in this case", she answered. "You see, the pistol of the victim's a small bore. It's a quite cheap model, which uses 5.6mm bullets. This bullet wouldn't be of any use with that model, scientifically speaking."
"I see…" said Maya and nodded excitedly. "So, from which kind of gun is this bullet?"
"Without a thorough check made by a professional forensic team it is impossible to determine it for sure," Ema admitted. "But if I had to make a guess, I would say that this is from a standard pistol of one of the detectives."
"Oh," Phoenix said. "That would be… It's most likely that it's from the murder weapon, isn't it?"
"It seems so," murmured Ema. "But this is really strange…"
(Quite strange, indeed…)
"Hey, someone's heading our way," Maya alerted the other two. "Hide it!"
The bullet was stuffed hastily into Ema's pocket.
"Yo! Who're ya fella's? Never seen ya around here before," said a man with dark sunglasses and light brown hair. He looked around his late-thirties.
"Err… We just wanted to see why the police, um, makes such a big fuss in this street", said Phoenix and tried his best not to stutter.
"Huh. If ya have nuthin' better to do… Oh well, name's John Doe, rookie detective," he said, extending a hand. Phoenix shook it awkwardly. "I'm Phoenix Wright, uh, an… artist."
(Smooth, Wright…)
The name sounded a bit funny. "Hold it", said Phoenix, eyeing the detective suspiciously. "Your name is really John Doe?"
"S'not my fault my old man's surname's Doe and decided to name me John," the man snapped. "D'ya have a problem with that?"
"Nonono!" denied Phoenix. "It's just… The last guy who called himself 'John Doe' turned out to be an assassin."
(And of course, every artist meets an assassin at least once in his life.)
"Huh. Ya gotta have really bad luck for this to happen, no?"
"You could say that again…"
"Ya gotta have really bad luck for-"
"Yes, yes, of course," Phoenix cut him off.
"Aw, heads up," the detective said. "I witnessed a murder yesterday, ya aren't that unlucky, are ya?"
"No…"
(But close.)
"Wait," Phoenix said alarmed. "You are the witness?"
"Didn't I jus' say that?"
"Could you tell us what happened?" Phoenix requested, looking hopeful.
"'Tis 'n awful lot of snoopin' ya are doin' here," the detective said, looking over the rims of his sunglasses. "Even for some nosey passersby. Ya ain't an artist, huh?"
(No shit, Sherlock.)
"Well then, I recommend ya to make an exit, dude."
"Yes, of course," Phoenix said, going back to the entrance and taking both girls with him.
(Not that a grown-up's that intimidating with his slang, mind you.)
May 17, 10:18 AM
Wright & Co. Law Offices
"So, what are we doing now?" Maya asked after she closed the door behind her.
"We have to research the background of the victim," Phoenix decided. "Ms Skye and even Gumshoe didn't tell us the whole truth when we asked them. And for some reason the name sounds a bit familiar…"
"Now that you mention it," Ema admitted, "I think I've also heard the name before, scientifically speaking."
"Am I the only one who doesn't know this homeless hobo?" asked Maya dumbfounded.
Phoenix turned the computer on and typed 'Justin Twist' into the search engine.
"Justin Timberlake, Justin Bieber… ugh… No, there's no result for 'Justin Twist'."
Maya looked at him weirdly. "Well, he is a hobo…"
"But I'm sure that I read his name somewhere before…" Phoenix murmured, looking pensive. He went to the shelf filled with books about law, pulled one out, opened it and began to skim the page.
The spirit medium rolled her eyes. "There's no way you'll find him in one of-"
"Found him."
Maya choked on her spit. "What?! Surely, you can't be serious!"
"Actually, my name's neither Shirley nor Sirius, but yeah, I found him." He showed her the page of a chapter about the history of law. "The book is already a few years old, but here's the name: Justin Twist."
Ema and Maya read the text.
"It says," the scientific investigator murmured, "That he was the 'inventor' of our current judicial system. Apparently, he was declared a national hero."
"Great," Maya deadpanned. "A national hero who's a hobo."
"Could you please cut it out with the hobo thing?" Phoenix asked annoyed.
"But if he's a national hero and whatever comes with that," Maya thought out loud, "Why doesn't the search engine provide any results concerning him?"
"I heard he made himself quite a few enemies after the first few trials were held," the lawyer said. "And after a enraged mother of a defendant, who was declared guilty, tried to kill him, he just disappeared."
"Oh… Must suck to be him."
(Considering that he's dead… Yeah.)
"Now I remember where I heard that name!" Ema exclaimed. "My sister supported him, she even met him once or twice when she was a part of the 'Legendary Duo'. Lana believed in the efficiency of his methods. It was one of the reasons why Joe Darke could get a guilty verdict before he found a way to hurt more people and she spoke very highly of him because of that."
(The SL-9 Incident, also known as the 'Joe Darke Killings'… That was five years ago. It began when Joe Darke killed someone accidently, when he was driving his car. An unlucky elderly lady, who witnessed the incident, was killed by him, and when a kid stumbled by… A jogger saw him when he tried to bury the bodies and Darke killed him, too… He was finally convicted and executed thanks to forged evidence in the murder case of Neil Marshall, the original prosecutor of the SL-9 Incident, the only murder he ironically did not commit…)
Suddenly, the room started spinning. Phoenix clutched his head and waited for it to stop.
"That means… There is a possible connection to SL-9 and SL-10. Great. Marvelous. Awesome. Fabulous. Fantastic. Absolutely spiffing splendid. I need an Aspirin."
"That also means that my sister has a connection to the victim," groaned Ema. "Scientifically speaking."
May 17, 10:35 AM
Police Department
Criminal Affairs
"Give me that!"
"No wait! I still need it! It's important!"
"Stop it! We need to calm down!"
Ema chuckled. "It's quite busy today in Criminal Affairs. Of course this is to be expected from pros."
"But this is my 'Pink Princess' trading card!"
The future scientific investigator sighed. "…Forget what I just said."
Maya laughed. "I know exactly what Franziska von Karma would do right now," she said and made a slashing motion as if she was wielding a whip. "You foolish fools!" she shouted with her best imitation of Franziska's voice. "Stop arguing about foolishly foolish things only a foolishly foolish fool would foolishly pay attention to! I wonder why I even set foot in this foolishly foolish country full of foolish fools!"
"Argh! Ms von Karma, sir, we're sorry, sir-"
"Sir, we didn't- no- we just-"
"Please don't hurt me! I've got a wife and two adorable children-"
(Wow… That was scary.)
Maya bowed gracefully.
(This imitation is starting to creep me out…)
"Please! Hide me!" shouted the voice of a certain scruffy detective.
"Detective Scruffy McTrenchcoat!" Maya yelled. "Stop spouting foolish things! Go to work or I will cut your salary in half… If you are lucky."
(She really should consider being an actress.)
"A- a- a- a- aye, sir, Ms v- von Karma, sir!" the detective came scrambling to them. "Detective Dick Gumshoe, reporting for duty-" He stopped in mid-sentence. "Maya?"
Said spirit medium was on the floor, laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.
"That- that was not funny, pal!" stuttered the detective annoyed. "You gave me several heart attacks!"
Maya was still grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Sorry," she said, not looking sorry at all. "I couldn't resist."
"My heart's beating so fast, pal, I think I'm going to faint…"
"Wait, detective!" Phoenix interrupted him. "Please take a look at this."
"Huh… What?"
"Take that!" the defense attorney yelled, presenting a glowing green gemstone in a rather dramatic manner. The rattling of the chains resounded in the sudden silence and the Psyche-Lock appeared.
"What's this, pal?" asked the confused detective.
"Nothing," Phoenix murmured, slipping the magatama back into his pocket. "I believe you didn't tell us the truth when you said that the victim was just a hobo."
"Eh? W- wa- wait, pal, why do you think that I was lying?" Gumshoe stuttered.
(Maybe because you're awful at lying…?)
Gumshoe shook his head. "You're an attorney, pal. Where's your evidence?"
"Take that!" Phoenix yelled again and handed him a copy of the page of the book.
"Ack! Stop that shouting! You're freaking me out, pal, and we're not even in court!" Gumshoe said. After he calmed down, he took a look at the evidence.
(Wow… Now he looks really depressed.)
"Aw…" the detective sighed. "And here I thought I could manage to keep a secret from you, pal. Seems that I failed."
The Psyche-Lock broke and the room became bright once again.
"Yeah, the victim was the one who worked out the current judicial system," Gumshoe admitted. "I wasn't supposed to tell you that, pal…"
For a very short moment, Phoenix felt sorry for him, until he remembered that Lana Skye's life was on the line.
"Could you please write an affidavit which confirms the identity of the victim?" Phoenix requested. "It would really help us."
"Ugh…" Gumshoe looked torn. "I'm not allowed to help you, pal," he said, looking at the attorney. "Since you're the 'enemy' and so on. But…" he said in a determined voice, "Detective Skye was always nice to us and I really can't see the reason why she would kill Mr Twist." He grabbed a pen and started writing.
"Here," the detective said, handing Phoenix the affidavit. "But please, don't show it to my superiors, pal, or I'll have to pay in order to go to work!"
"Thank you," Phoenix said. "Um… I'm sorry, but I have to ask for another favor."
"What is it, pal?" asked Gumshoe.
"Could you please let this bullet be analyzed?" he requested and handed him the evidence. "It could be vital for the case."
"Of course, pal!" Gumshoe said overjoyed and started to sing while he skipped off. "Investigate! Investigate! It's a crime investigation! A major murder investigation! Investigate! Investigate! It's a crime investigation! A frantic, epic investigation!"
(He didn't even ask where we found the bullet…)
May 17, 10:46
Detention Center
Visitor's Room
"Back again?" asked Lana Skye. "How did your investigation go?"
"We were chased away from the crime scene by some rookie detective," Phoenix grumbled at the reminder of the incident. "His name's John Doe."
"Oh, Detective Doe," she said, recognizing the name. "We've got the same shifts. He worked with me on the day of the murder."
"Yeah, apparently he's the eyewitness in your case."
Her expression showed surprise. "Really?" she asked. "That means that he'll be lying on the witness stand to get me convicted…" Lana sighed. "I don't know though why he would do this. Detective Doe seemed like a nice man."
"Who is trying to get you the guilty verdict," Ema countered stubbornly. "It doesn't matter what you say; I don't like him."
"Actually…" Phoenix voiced his thoughts, "Why would you murder Justin Twist? What's your supposed motive?"
The room went dark again. Phoenix could see the original two Psyche-Locks, but suddenly, a third one appeared.
(Just… Great.)
"The police couldn't find one," she lied stoically. "It is unimportant to the case."
(The last sentence was the lamest excuse a former Chief Prosecutor could make.)
He sighed. "Take that!" he yelled, presenting the glowing magatama for a second time. "I don't believe that the police didn't find a possible motive for you to commit Twist's murder."
"Baseless conjecture," Lana snorted. "You are just assuming things without really knowing what you are doing."
"It is a theory on my part," the attorney admitted. "But it isn't baseless. I believe it has something to do with the real identity of our victim."
"What?" she said, biting her thumb. "Don't be ridiculous. What big secrets would the identity of a mere homeless man hide?"
"Quite a big one, Ms Skye," Phoenix revealed. "The victim was also this man, wasn't he?" He presented her the copy of the page from the book about law.
Lana skimmed the article and froze, when she read the name 'Justin Twist'.
"H- how are you so sure that this man is the victim? It is more than probable that they were different persons!"
"Because," the lawyer explained, "We've got an affidavit from a detective who confirmed our suspicions." He showed her Gumshoe's affidavit.
"Hmm…" Lana murmured while she read the text. "Yes I see… Detective Gumshoe told you the truth, didn't he?"
One Psyche-Lock broke.
One thing baffled the attorney. "How did you know that this is from him? He didn't sign it."
"It says 'Letter of invitation'," she explained dryly. "And starts with 'Greetings, pal!'. Who except Detective Gumshoe would write that?"
(Argh… Not again!)
"Moving on," Phoenix said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "I believe you have a connection to Justin Twist."
"How would I know him?" asked Lana, feigning curiosity.
"Umm… Sis?" Ema asked hesitantly. "I told him you two met a few times. Sorry."
Another Psyche-Lock broke, leaving only one.
"…Yes, I met him," she said, wearing a scowl on her face. "But I cannot see the connection here."
"I believe you already know the connection." Phoenix grinned triumphantly. "You supported him quite enthusiastically in the past because of the SL-9 Incident." He looked at her with a piercing gaze. "The police thinks you changed your mind after the SL-10 Incident, which was a result of SL-9, because you lost your job as a prosecutor. Am I right?"
She bit her thumb so hard that it started bleeding. The last lock shattered to pieces.
(Yes! Unlock successful!)
"You hit the nail on the head. Frighteningly so, Mr Wright," Lana admitted.
"What?" A disbelieving Ema stared at her sister. "But this… this is baseless conjecture! Scientifically speaking."
"Of course," Lana snorted. "Even though he disappeared from the face of earth, I occasionally supported him with a small donation. I was the only one who knew where he was, so I could have killed him anytime and no one would be wiser. Why choose to kill him when he was visiting me and residing directly under the window of my office?"
"But why doesn't the police accept this explanation?" Maya asked. "It would clear you completely from any suspicion!"
"I don't have proof." The detective scowled. "I could as well be lying about that fact – which is why I cannot use it as a solid explanation. I had a few letters from him – but the police claim that they didn't find a single one."
Suddenly, a foreboding sense of doom rippled through Phoenix. Slowly he turned to Ema.
"Um… When does the trial start?"
She looked at her watch and her expression morphed into one of utter horror. "Oh my god," she whispered. "It begins in twelve minutes!"
(Why does it always feel like it's the end of the world and I'm the last man standing?)
Trial
May 17, 11:15 AM
District Court
Courtroom No. 6
"Court is now in session for the trial of Ms Lana Skye," the elderly judge announced.
"The defense is ready, Your Honor" Phoenix stated.
A white haired man with a weird-looking red visor just grinned creepily and stared at him from the prosecutor's bench.
"…"
He took a sip from his coffee mug.
(Wow. Being on death row didn't change him one bit.)
The judge cleared his throat. "Prosecutor Godot?"
"…I do not return from the depth of hell a second time only to be unprepared in the bitter reality of this court."
Everyone in the courtroom blinked owlishly and stared at him.
"Okay," the judge said after a moment of silence. "Your opening statement, please."
He drank the rest of his coffee, put the mug away and grabbed another one.
"Godot Blend #108," he murmured. "Full of aroma. It's very bitter today, too… Just like my destiny."
(Déjà-vu… Why do I always have to face the creepy prosecutors?)
"Mr Godot! Your opening statement!"
"That was my opening statement."
"…"
(The trial didn't even really begin and I'm already wishing I hadn't gotten up this morning.)
"The prosecutor calls his first witness to the stand," announced Godot. "It's the detective in charge of the investigation."
A nervous looking Gumshoe appeared on the witness stand.
"State your name and occupation, please."
"I'm Detective Dick Gumshoe," he said. "I'm in charge of homicides down at the precinct, sir."
"Please give us an overview of the incident," the prosecutor requested, still smiling creepily and holding a big mug of coffee.
"Mr Wright, you may cross-examine the witness," the judge stated. Phoenix nodded.
Gumshoe opened his mouth and started talking.
"The incident occurred yesterday at around 9 PM in the dead end next to the police department. Please take a look at this map."
He showed the court a map of the scene of the crime and the surrounding area. He took a blue marker and scribbled a 'V' next to the wall of the police department.
The judge nodded. "The court accepts this as evidence."
"This is where the body was found. It is directly under the window of the defendant's office."
"The victim, a homeless man called Justin Twist, was shot five times."
"HOLD IT!" shouted Phoenix, pointing his finger at Gumshoe. "Why? The autopsy report states that he died instantly when the first two bullets were shot through his back."
Godot downed his coffee. "OBJECTION! This is irrelevant, Trite!"
(And he still hasn't learned my name…)
Gumshoe frowned but answered anyway. "Maybe the killer wanted to make sure that he stayed dead? Don't ask me questions that I can't answer, pal!"
"Right, sorry. Please continue."
"The defendant's shift ended shortly after 9 PM. The police suspect that this is the time the murder occurred."
"We found the body when an alarmed witness, who is also a detective, called us. Here is a photo of the crime scene."
He handed them a black and white photograph.
(We're in the year 2020 and the police still doesn't use color print.)
"Since the ballistic fingerprints match the standard pistol of every detective of the precinct, we investigated every single one who was in the vicinity at the time range between 8 PM and the time we arrived at the scene."
"The only ones who used their weapons on that day were the witness and the defendant."
"HOLD IT! Then why is Ms Skye the prime suspect?"
"OBJECTION!" Godot chuckled. "You are still asking these useless question, aren't you, Trite? Hmph… Only the pure darkness of coffee is true perfection."
Phoenix wanted to hit his head on the bench. "The court hadn't had time to learn Coffeenese," he grumbled, annoyed at the fact that Godot, while he was in prison, didn't learn how to speak like a normal person. "Would you care to elaborate?"
"I said that you have to think clearly, Trite!"
(I'm pretty sure you said 'only the pure darkness of coffee is true perfection'.)
"That's the same thing."
(Can he read my thoughts?)
"You're just blatantly obvious. I'm not telepathic. And to the question why Ms Skye is the defendant… She has a motive for killing the victim. He was the man who worked out what we are now calling 'justice'. In her eyes, Justin Twist was the one who caused the guilty verdict in the SL-9 Incident announced so fast without further investigation, which resulted in Ms Skye losing her job as a prosecutor in the SL-10 Incident." He chuckled darkly. "Even though she caused her own downfall. But there are always people out there who cannot swallow the bitterness of reality."
"Er… yes," said Gumshoe who looked a bit lost.
"Ms Skye is the only one who had a motive; Furthermore, Detective Doe doesn't have a reason to frame Ms Skye."
"And this is our case," concluded the detective with a smile.
The prosecutor grinned. "I despise these kind of women," he said, grabbing another cup of coffee. "Killing innocent people to satisfy their need of revenge…"
(Wow… There was so much hypocrisy in that sentence…!)
"The prosecutor would like to continue with the next witness," Godot announced.
"HOLD IT!" shouted Phoenix, "I have to ask the witness a question!"
"Then ask, Trite, and don't let the coffee become cold."
The defense attorney looked at Gumshoe. "Have you finished the analysis?"
"Analysis, analysis…" the detective murmured under his breath. "Oh wait, that analysis!" Phoenix stared at him aghast. "No, not yet. But they're nearly finished!"
"O…okay, thank you."
The judge looked at the defense. "Was that something important?" he asked.
Phoenix answered instantly. "Of course, but we have to wait for the results. Otherwise it would be useless."
The judge nodded. "Very well."
Godot cleared his throat. "The prosecutor calls the key witness to the stand."
A casual-looking man appeared on the witness stand. "Yo."
"State your name and profession."
The man looked over the rims of his sunglasses. "Don't need to tell ya sumthin' ya already know."
(I can't believe he's using slang in court…)
"Name and profession. Now." Godot banged his coffee cup on the bench.
"Hey, chill dude. I'll tell ya, 'kay? My name's Doe. John Doe."
(He just had to do this, didn't he?)
"I'm a rookie detective."
"Please testify to the court about what you witnessed," Godot commanded, pointing his coffee at the witness.
"I finished my shift at 9 PM but I usually hang around the place. I've nuthin' better to do, ya know?"
"So I walked around and suddenly I spotted the defendant."
"It was really weird that she was still there. You see, her shift ends… um, half 'n hour before mine, or sumthin' like that. Anyway, she goes home earlier than I do."
"OBJECTION!" Phoenix yelled. "Your testimony contradicts the defendant's statement. Ms Skye told me today that you have the same working hours. I believe if we investigated this matter we would find the exact same schedule."
Doe gave him venomous glare – or at least Phoenix assumed it was one, since it was quite hard to see underneath those glasses. "Y- Yes, ya are right, lawyer dude," he snarled. "Gramps, let me revise my testimony, 'kay?"
The judge looked quite annoyed at his question. "You realize that perjury is a serious crime? A person's life is on the line, witness!" He disappointedly shook his head. "Please correct your last statement."
"Actually, she went earlier on that day. I followed her 'cuz I was curious what she wanted to do and jus' waited at the entrance of the street."
"She walked into the dead end, pulled out her gun and just started shooting the poor dude who was sitting against the wall!"
"OBJECTION!" The defense attorney pulled out the autopsy report. "This was a very lame lie, witness. How do you shoot someone in the back when he's sitting against a wall?"
Godot laughed and took another coffee mug. "It does not matter. The witness still saw the defendant committing the murder. But… Witness! Try to make another cup of bitter truth…"
"Grrr…" growled the detective.
"It was dark, but I could hear some dude hastily standin' up an' runnin' away."
"The defendant gave chase. Luckily the victim didn't run into my direction so Detective Skye didn't see me or I would've been silenced."
"OBJECTION!" He showed him the map. "The victim would've had to be blind in order to run into the other direction! It's a dead end, after all." He banged his hand forcefully on the bench.
"OBJECTION!" shouted Godot. "And if he had tried to run to the exit, he would have had run into the killer as well!"
"OBJECTION! If you had the choice, would you seriously run into the dead end?"
"Argh…" Instead of answering, the prosecutor downed the rest of his coffee.
"Ya… Ya lawyer!" screeched the detective.
(Where have I heard this 'insult' before?)
"Ya can't just waltz around 'n make me sound like some stupid liar!"
(I thought we established that you lied under oath at least once…)
"Gimme another chance, will ya?"
"I assumed that he ran into the other direction 'cuz Detective Skye didn't see me, ya know? But it was too dark, so I couldn't see anything."
"But she really did shoot him five times, I swear! I could hear those 'BANG' sounds, ya know? 'Tis not sumthin' ya'll just forget!"
"OBJECTION!" shouted Phoenix, presenting the file of the victim's gun. "The victim used his weapon once," he stated. "If you had only heard the sound, you wouldn't have known that only five of those shots were from the killer!"
Godot pointed at the defense attorney with his coffee mug. "OBJECTION! Tell me, why is coffee bitter?"
(…Huh?)
"Because it is supposed to be this way, Trite! And a detective is supposed to be informed about the crime he has to investigate!"
"Yeah! Ya tell him, buddy!" Everyone looked at the detective dumbfounded. "What?"
"Nothing. Please continue with your testimony."
"OBJECTION! When we investigated the crime scene, there was another bullet; that means there were seven gunshots that night!"
"Then where is the bullet right now, Trite?"
"That was the piece of evidence I gave Gumshoe to analyze."
Godot smiled. "Until you have proof you can present, this argument as useless as a fork when drinking coffee! Witness, continue!"
"HOLD IT!"
The judge looked at the witness. The witness looked at the defense attorney. The attorney looked at the prosecutor. The prosecutor took a sip from his coffee and asked: "What is it, Detective Gumshoe?"
Gumshoe had stormed into the courtroom and had knocked Doe from the witness stand. "I got the results, pal!"
(Best. Timing. Ever.)
"The bullet is from a detective's gun-"
"WAIT! That- that can't be- This is impossible!"
"How can you possibly know that?" asked Phoenix smugly. "Why are you so sure of that?"
"Urgh… B- because… I only heard it fire five times!"
"The defense hereby formally accuses the witness of murdering Justin Twist and trying to frame Lana Skye for the crime!" Phoenix yelled, pointing at the detective who was shaking with rage.
"OBJECTION!" Godot shouted. "At least give us proof to support your theory, Trite!"
"This," said Phoenix presenting the bullet, "Is my proof. At the crime scene there were six bullets from the murder weapon, five of them were stuck in the victim's body. The victim tried to defend himself by shooting back – but he used only one bullet that mysteriously vanished from the crime scene. Ms Skye is the defendant because she has a connection to the victim and her gun had been used exactly five times on the day of the crime." He pointed in an overly dramatic manner at no one specific. "She would appear a lot less suspicious if there was one more bullet!"
"An' how d'ya explain the missin' bullet, lawyer dude?" asked the witness angrily.
"That's easy," said Phoenix triumphantly. "On the day of the murder, you and the defendant had an encounter with a few violent thugs. You knew she had to use her weapon because you were with her. When you committed the crime, you shot the victim six times; one bullet missed its target. This is why this piece of evidence hasn't got a trace of blood on it. The victim shot back. On the scene of the murder was one evidence that could've make Lana Skye look less fishy. You tried to hide it, but and had an understandable problem: It was too dark – a fact you yourself stated quite a few times – so you accidentally took the victim's bullet."
"OBJECTION! You're just making this up, Trite!"
"It's okay, buddy. I wanna hear what he has to say." Detective Doe looked very composed when he asked the next question. "An' why would I frame the defendant for the murder? What's my motive for killin' that hobo?"
"Umm…", Gumshoe spoke up, "Should I…"
"You may go now, detective," Godot allowed. Gumshoe ran from the courtroom, not wanting to be involved in the massacre that was – in his opinion – sure to come.
"You have got a connection to the SL-9 Incident," said Phoenix calmly. "The Joe Darke Killings and the trial of the suspect." He glared at the witness. "I believe you knew of the identity of the victim. You wanted to kill two birds with one stone."
There was a moment of silence. Before Godot could object, John Doe started to chuckle, a sound that grew to a loud, maniacal laugh.
"Ya are right, lawyer," the witness confessed, wearing an insane grin. "I've been a too careless man when I committed the crime. Didn't thought sumthin' was wrong with the bullet until you pointed it out, dude. Quite a feat! Let me reintroduce myself – I am Detective John Darke, younger brother of Joe Darke."
When the detective dropped the bombshell, there was a deafening silence in the whole room.
"WHAT?" Lana shrieked from the defendant's chair. "You- you are the brother of that monster?"
"Watch whatcha sayin'!" snarled Darke. "Who is the monster? Ya are the one who got my bro the death sentence for the murder of that Marshall dude! An' that hobo's stupid judicial system was one of the reasons why ya could get away with forgin' evidence for two years!"
"Your brother was far from innocent!" shouted Lana. "He killed four other people, a deed that would have earned him the sentence anyway!"
"I DON'T CARE!" Darke yelled back. "It wasn't his fault, he jus' panicked!"
The whole court was whispering and murmuring. "ORDER!" commanded the judge. "Order! Order in the court!"
"I wanted revenge! That was the only thing that kept me goin'!"
(He led a meaningless life, huh?)
In that moment, Darke lost it completely. He started hurling insults at everyone in his vicinity and tried to strangle the poor bailiff who escorted him from the courtroom.
"Mr Godot. How is the witness?" asked the judge.
"The coffee was too bitter for him, it seems."
(Stop it with your coffee metaphors!)
The judge took his gavel into his hands. "It is now time for my verdict. I declare the defendant…"
Not Guilty
May 17, 11:49 AM
District Court
Defendant's Lobby No. 6
"Mr Wright!" yelled Ema happily. "You did it! You showed that lying, evil, disgusting, powerless coward where he belongs! Er… scientifically speaking." Lana looked disapprovingly at her sister for her choice of word.
"Thank you, Mr Wright," Lana said with a smile. "You really helped us."
Maya nodded. "We should celebrate that! Nick, you're paying!"
Ema brightened up. "Really? Oh, that's awesome!"
(Every single time… Why does the world hate me?)
"I just have to say one thing." Phoenix cleared his throat. "OBJECTION!"
And that's it, guys! ^^
I know, it's rushed and everything... That's because our teacher didn't expect anyone to write such a long story, so I hadn't had enough time - a lot of pressure to finish it :/ I had five days to prepare for two exams and had to work on a presentation in biology (about stress hormones, ironically -_-) at the same time.
Kudos to everyone who got both Harry Potter references :D
Even though it is a bit rushed, I hope it was at least amusing :) Tell me your opinion! C'mon, I can handle the truth ^^
Were any characters OOC?
Is there a grave mistake in logic?
Any grammar/spelling mistakes?
Is the slang weird? (We aren't taught English slang, I learned it by myself, so... :/ For some stupid reason they actually teach us French slang and 'verlan'... Strange logic :D)
Is the plot generally stupid?