Author's Note: My first NCIS:LA story. That partners with privileges scene in "Imposters" just wouldn't leave me alone... Not beta'd, so please pardon any errors. Constructive criticism is welcome.
Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing a few of the characters from NCIS: Los Angeles for a little bit of fun. No copyright infringement is intended.
Partners…With Privileges?
Deeks barely had time to close the door before Kensi had pulled away from the curb. "So why'd you do that?"
Kensi shook her head slowly, not taking her eyes from the road. "Do what?"
He turned to the window, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, and put on his sunglasses. "Cop-block me."
She rolled her eyes. "Deeks…"
"I gave her my number for case purposes only. Were you, uh, a little jealous there, Kens?"
"Not even in your dreams, Deeks."
"In whose dreams, then?"
She ignored him. "That girl needs protecting from herself if she was even considering calling you. I mean, really, what kind of idiot tells a girl he's hitting on that he has a partner 'with privileges?' Do you think girls want guys who fool around?"
Deeks pursed his lips as he considered that. "Um…can I get back to you on that?"
"I mean, I can only assume that you didn't actually want her to be interested in you." She glanced at him.
When he only looked at her dumbly, her lips twisted into a wry grin. "For one thing, I have it on good authority that you're a sucker for brunettes."
His eyes widened. "I'm just kind of wondering how you know that."
Kensi slammed on the brakes and turned to him. "And I'm just kind of wondering what you think 'partners with privileges' entails? What 'privileges' do we have, exactly? You'll barely let me hold your gun!"
Flashing a lopsided grin, he said aloud, "Wow, was that ever a loaded—"
With a huff, Kensi looked back at the road and pushed the accelerator down, throwing Deeks back against his seat. She stomped on the brake pedal again, sending him toward the windshield. He angled his body just in time to bounce his shoulder off the glass instead of his head.
"Kensi! I hadn't put on my seatbelt yet!"
She looked at him in mock horror. "A cop not wearing his seatbelt while the vehicle is in motion? Tsk, tsk, Detective Deeks! Perhaps you should resign?" Calmly, she depressed the gas pedal to the tiniest degree.
"Well, maybe I should!" He quickly drew his seatbelt across himself and buckled it. "Hetty wants me to become NCIS. Do NCIS agents wear their seatbelts?"
When she made no reply, Deeks stretched and leaned over slightly to glance at the speedometer. "I guess maybe they don't need to…'cause they drive like old ladies."
She turned and smiled sweetly at him. "I'm only protecting my partner…as is my privilege. He's very delicate."
"Heh," he slumped back against his seat, muttering under his breath. After several moments, with a dark glance at his partner, he snatched a water bottle from the cup holder and took a large swig.
"So what did Ray say?" she said with a quick look at him.
He choked and sputtered water all over himself. "What? Ray?"
"Yeah—Ray. You mean you didn't call him and tell him our 'thing' has privileges now?"
"No," Deeks wheezed, rubbing furiously at the wet spots on his pants, "I did not. I did not call him, because there is no thing!"
She shrugged. "Okay."
"Look, Kensi, after everything we've been through, our relationship is compl—"
She held up a hand. "—I'm sorry, did you just say 'relationship?'"
His eyes moved quickly. "Puh-partnership," he stammered. "I said, our partnership."
"Uh-huh. Okay. Whatever you say, Princess."
"Whoa—did I just wake up in backwards land? You're Princess. I'm—" His brow furrowed. "Wait, who am I?"
Kensi reached over and punched him in the bicep. "You're Deeks, and you're very annoying."
"Ow—and in pain!" he said, rubbing his arm. "Do you know that you hit really hard for a girl?"
He braced himself for another hit, but instead she pouted at him. "Poor baby…would you like me to kiss it all better?"
This query was accompanied by such a gleam in her eye, that Deeks whimpered, "I don't know, I'm scared."
"Good," Kensi grinned.
He sighed. "All right…I admit it, I was baiting you with the number thing. I wanted to see how you'd react, and you did not disappoint." His lips settled into a smirk.
She set her jaw. "Oh yeah? Well, I'll have you know that I was baiting you."
His smirk dissolved instantly into bemusement. "You were baiting me? How does that work? Did you bait me into giving her my number?"
"No. I realized what you were doing, and I wanted to see how you'd react when I took your card away from her. And you did not disappoint."
Deeks twirled the hair above his upper lip between his thumb and index finger. "Okay…and how did I do that?"
"You did nothing. Except make one of your stupid jokes."
"Hey—that was a good joke! I just don't think you got it. See, I called you a cop-blocker, which sounds an awful lot like—"
"Zzt—got it."
"But—"
"Deeks. I got it. Okay? Stop talking."
"Fine. But what does me making a joke have to do with anything?"
"I've seen you flirt with women—if you can call it that. But around me, you behave like an eight-year-old boy." She took a deep breath and finished with a great hand flourish. "Therefore…you love me!"
"Heh…what?" He held a hand to his forehead.
She looked at him in a show of concern. "Deeks, are you…sweating?"
"It's like 100 fricking degrees in here! Of course I'm sweating!" He ran a finger under his collar and slicked his bangs back.
"And your voice—something's going on with it. It's all high and squeaky. Are you sure you're all right?"
"I think—I mean, you think I love you?"
She had parked the car, and now turned and gazed deeply into his eyes. "You mean you…don't?"
"Well, I—I mean, I…um…" His eyes followed her fingers as they slowly reached down and undid her seat belt, allowing her to inch closer to him.
"Deeks," she breathed.
"Kensi?" he exhaled shakily, pressing himself back against the passenger door. "Are we really doing this? I mean, are we really—"
She stopped abruptly and broke into a grin. "No. Of course not! I was just baiting you." She moved back to her seat on her knees and opened her door. "Call it a privilege," she hissed through the window after she'd backed out of the car and slammed the door shut.
He shook his head with a smile of disbelief. "Okay, now, I think that if we don't make out at some point in the very near future, we're going to have trust issues again!"
Kensi looked back at him for a long moment, smiled, and blew him a kiss as she started walking backwards toward the boatshed.
Deeks leaned back against his seat. "Oh, buddy," he muttered to himself, rubbing a palm to his forehead. Then he yelled out, "Yeah, uh, good idea—you go in first! We shouldn't walk in with each other after our…passionate encounter. Everyone would know instantly! Instantly!"
"Who the hell are you talking to, Deeks?"
Deeks jumped and found Sam standing next to his door. "Oh—hey! Hey, Sam." He whipped his head around only to see Kensi was no longer in sight, forced a laugh and pressed a finger near his right earlobe. "Heh—I was just, uh, goofing around with everybody on the, uh, the earwigs."
"Really?" Sam crossed his arms over his chest. "That's funny; because mine's on, and I didn't hear any goofing around. No passionate encounters, either. It's all business."
"Heh—you know, I think I hear Hetty calling me! I'd better hop to, yeah?" Deeks unbuckled himself and scrambled across to Kensi's seat. He opened the driver's side door too quickly and nearly fell out in the process; recovered, shut the door, and began jogging toward the boatshed with only a quick glance back at his coworker.
Sam shook his head, chuckling to himself. "I gotta admit, he's entertaining…for ringworm."