Author's Note: I appreciate all the reviews and follows and favorite story selections that my last short story received. I've actually been dreaming at night about The Brave for a week now and have several stories in the works courtesy of that unusual occurance. Poor Jaz has really been taking a beating either physically, emotionally, or both in most of them. This one is no exception. The longer stories aren't ready for posting but hopefully this short story will hold everyone over until they are. In order to make the stories work I have had to alter some of the events in the episodes.
Panic
They were finally making it out of Iran. She should be ecstatic. She had completed the primary objective of the mission. Now they were all on their way home. No more torture. No more manipulation. But she wasn't ecstatic. She was barely holding it together and they had hours left to go. She, Top, Preach, and McG were all squeezed into this tiny space under the false floor of the truck. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem for her. She wasn't claustrophobic. But this situation was far from normal. The medications McG had given her to keep her going were messing with her head. She was trying to pull herself together but her normal sense of calm under fire was elusive. She felt like she was suffocating. She felt like she was back in the airtight box her captors had used to try and break her. While they hadn't been successful, the experience had done something to her. Something that wasn't going to be undone in a couple of hours or even a couple of days.
Her anxiety caused adrenaline to flow through her veins triggering her move into a fight or flight response. She knew she couldn't stay here any longer. She needed to get out. It didn't matter that she could feel fresh air on her face through the cracks in the boards. She felt like she was suffocating and no amount of logical thinking was erasing the terror.
"Talk to me," Top's voice said softly in her ear.
She could barely slow her panting down long enough to answer.
"I can't breathe. I'm suffocating. I need to get out of here before I lose my mind. You need to leave me and go."
She could hear Top moving around behind her in the limited space. Ultimately his body pressed against hers.
"Can you roll over to your other side?" he asked.
If it meant she was getting out of this coffin she could run a marathon. It was a slow and painful experience but she managed to roll over. Her chin bumped into his shoulder and in the dim light she realized Top was on his back now.
"We aren't leaving you, Jaz. Not after everything that has happened. I want to try something. If this doesn't work we'll come up with a new plan. We'll improvise."
Improvising hadn't worked out so well for her the last time. She had the physical injuries and the mental trauma to prove it.
"Lift your head up."
She barely heard him over the blood rushing in her ears. When she followed his instruction he slid his arm under her neck and around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Placing her head on his chest and resting his chin on top of it.
"Do you hear that sound?" he asked so quietly she had to strain to hear him.
She shook her head. She couldn't hear anything other than the sound of her own racing heartbeat.
"Close your eyes for a minute. Pretend you're about to take a long distance shot. Be still."
She pulled herself together long enough to try and listen to something other than the sound of her own internal panic. She was used to having to be still when her sniper rifle was in her hands. When she had to block out everything to focus on her target. After several minutes of trying to reign herself in, she heard a steady, rythmic sound under her ear. Top's hearbeat.
He whispered to her, "You aren't alone anymore. Just listen to the sound."
She did listen. In fact she was listening intently. She would do anything to hold onto her sanity. Prevent herself from ruining the exfil. Top's other arm slowly wrapped around her waist providing reassuring pressure. She flattened her hand on his chest and felt more tension leave her body as she melted into the warmth of his. She could take her first full breath in what seemed like an eternity. Tears of relief formed in her closed eyes and one or two might have escaped.
"We're going home, Jaz."
She held that thought close as the adrenaline crash washed over her putting her to sleep for the rest of their journey.