Title: Holding Him Together
Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid
Rating: T
Wordcount: 1564
Warnings: FLUFF. Also this is movie-verse.
Summary: Astrid can see through the brave face Hiccup wears in the wake of losing his leg.
As silent as it was at this hour, Hiccup knew she was there in his window. She'd taken to watching him for a while every night when he carefully removed the leather-and-steel leg Gobber fashioned for him and curled up under the furs and crude blankets on his bed. He never let on that he knew. He'd let her have this. It seemed to reassure her that he was okay. It also made him feel a little safer, knowing she was there. Nothing got by Toothless, but Odin help the idiot who decided Astrid would be easier to fight because she was a girl.
Even though a girl brandishing a battle axe was hot, it was also terrifying. Especially when it was accompanied by a death glare that promised far more than it threatened.
He hissed softly as he unbuckled the straps that kept the prosthesis attached to what remained of his leg. As bad as this part felt, it was nothing compared to what he had to do next, and he really, really wished Astrid would leave. He didn't want her to see him gag at the sight and smell of blood (though he wasn't bleeding anymore), or whimper like he was about to cry because it hurt so much (and no matter what anyone said, broken bones and bad cuts were nothing compared to amputation). It didn't matter so much if Toothless stayed in the room, as Hiccup didn't feel like he had anything to prove to the dragon, but with Astrid, it was different. He wanted to prove he could man it up and be more like his dad and every other man in the village.
She didn't move. It drove him insane. He just wanted to take care of his leg without anyone there and then lie back on his bed as if nothing was wrong. Astrid could have her nightly vigil at his window, but he wanted some privacy to get through the most painful part of his day.
In his frustration, he zoned out. He didn't notice Toothless raise his head or begin to rumble or purr (whatever that noise was) in greeting.
"It's only going to hurt more if you leave it on," a voice chastised him, and he jumped halfway out of his skin. He hadn't noticed her jump down from the windowsill. It made him wonder just how long she'd been standing beside him.
He looked away, staring hard at the floor by the foot of this bed, not caring that he looked every bit like a pouting toddler. Astrid sighed softly and carefully placed her hands on either side of his leg. She wasn't a nursemaid or anything that, but she knew how important it was to be gentle when handling an injury like this. Then again, even though the girls in the village were trained to be every bit as brutal as the boys, they were also taught the skills necessary to being good wives and mothers. Astrid had been learning to lead a double life since she was a toddler.
Slowly, taking care not to jostle his leg too much, she loosened the buckles all the way and let gravity do the rest, only supporting the metal limb to keep it from crashing to the floor. Setting it aside, Astrid began to unravel the bandages wrapped tightly around Hiccup's leg, removing layer after layer of the woven cotton strips.
It hurt. She knew it hurt. Hiccup's hands gripped the furs and blankets until his knuckles were stark white, and his jaw was clenched as he tried to hold back the agonized whimpers he usually made. He'd also squeezed his eyes shut to block out the sight of his injured leg. She couldn't blame him. His first real scar wasn't a patch or line that was lighter or darker than the surrounding skin. It was a missing limb. It was a small, pale, puckered line where the skin had been stitched and knitted. It was rubbed raw, it throbbed, it ached, and in some places, there were blisters that were open and weeping.
Astrid hadn't seen the injury since before the leg was removed. It was something engrained in her memory. His flesh had been badly burned by the flames, then torn and mangled when the bone fractured and shattered. Gobber did a good job with both the amputation and the fabrication of the special leg, or so she'd heard from Hiccup and Stoick. She left the room, encouraging Toothless to at least sit quietly in the doorway if he wasn't going to follow her. She could handle watching other surgeries, but she couldn't watch Hiccup's. It scared her, and she was glad Hiccup had been unconscious. She didn't know what she would've done if he'd been awake. She'd never heard him scream before, and she never wanted to.
She carefully tugged the final layer covering the stump away. Hiccup yelped in pain as some of the blisters were reopened and recently opened ones were exposed to the air. Astrid leaned up quickly to pull him close, the only thing she could think of. "I'm sorry," she whispered, moving with him as he rocked himself back and forth, "I'm sorry." It didn't matter that Hiccup was being a big baby, or that he was being a wuss. Something inside her made her want to comfort and reassure him.
Several minutes went by before the pain began to fade. Hiccup's whimpering quieted and he slowly ceased rocking himself back and forth. When he finally stilled, he wrapped his arms around Astrid tightly. His hold loosened, and Astrid slowly backed away to resume tending to his leg.
The pitch that had been used to cauterize and clean the injury was still there, though what remained clung hopelessly to the area where the skin and muscle flaps had been stitched together to close the wound. With the exception of the blood and pus from the blisters, the bandages had come away clean. There were no fluids leaking from the scar From what she knew about the way injuries healed, she knew that was a good thing. The problem was the blisters. It meant the leather cup that was fitted around the stump wasn't padded well enough. Those could still fester, and Hiccup could be taken by the sickness. She wished she had her mother's array of ointments and cures with her. They didn't exactly feel good when applied to open blisters, nor did they smell very appealing, but they helped.
"It's supposed to do what it's doing," Hiccup murmured softly, flinching slightly as she gently cradled his leg, "at least according to Gobber and the elder."
Astrid shook her head. "You should stay off it and give these things a chance to heal..." She trailed off, resting her palm over the flushed, heated skin just above the stump. Hiccup opened his mouth to protest, and she cut him off quickly. "Hiccup, you were unconscious for weeks, and the instant your dad and I turned our backs, you woke up and were walking around, not to mention flying around on Toothless."
She lowered her gaze, trying to force her agitation away. "It's no wonder you're in so much pain all the time...you're doing too much, too fast." Without hesitation, she punched him squarely in the knee, hitting him squarely in his good leg. "You're staying in bed tomorrow. If Gobber or anyone comes looking for you, I'll make sure they leave you alone. And if you try sneaking out except to relieve yourself, you're going to get it."
Hiccup swallowed and nodded quickly. He didn't doubt her, for Astrid was very rarely wrong, nor did he want to find out what she'd do to him if he got up. There was, however, the matter of his father. Stoick may have been happy to see his son up and about, but he'd been sure to tell Hiccup to "man up" and ignore the pain. That's how Viking men were. Also, with his heroic status, Hiccup was held to an even higher standard than any Viking who came before. He wasn't allowed to show pain at all. He didn't dare think about how they were going to handle his need to relieve himself.
Astrid seemed to know what he was thinking. "Hiccup, go to sleep. I'll deal with your dad." She eased him back on his bed before climbing back into the window. "I'll bring some ointment for your blisters tomorrow."
Just as she was about to jump down to the grass below, Hiccup's voice wafted up from the bed below. "Astrid?" She paused and looked back down at him. Hiccup turned slightly to look at her. "Thanks," he murmured, "for helping me."
She chuckled. "You're welcome." Astrid hopped down and Hiccup heard her soft landing on the grass, followed by her quiet footsteps as she jogged off in the direction of her parents' house. When he could no longer hear her, Hiccup rolled over, a content sigh escaping him as he settled down to sleep.