"It's obviously best for them to turn their guns to a fist." -twenty one pilots

I stared at my feet. "What were you mad about?" Hunter responded with a simple, "good God, I dunno." I sunk down to the floor against the wall.

"I cut myself s'more. I don't know why I did that either," I mumbled, mentally killing myself for the third time that day.

Hunter looked at my arms, which were covered by my sweatshirt I'd changed into after I cleaned the cuts. I carefully rolled my sleeves up, and I tried to avoid looking at my nearly pure-red arms.

"Oh God, Leslie…" his voice trailed off, staring at my arms. I inhaled, choking back my feelings. I guess I just wanted control over something, since I can't control you or when you want me around. I don't know." I heard Hunter getting up and waking over, relying on my sense of hearing because I was

staring at the ground.

"Don't…please don't do that." His voice was quiet, caring, which made me feel worse. I didn't want him to be upset.

Attention whore.

"Power crazed. I need power over something, and knives and me is all I got." I paused, knowing I should shut up. I didn't, because hell, I'm me. "I was just gonna do one but then I lost control over myself and I butcher my whole arm." I bit down on my lip, slightly tasting my own metallic, salty, blood.

"Can't you do it to something else, like wood or something?" Hunter put his arm around me, and I put my head on his shoulder, holding me tightly.

You don't understand.

"I'm scared of myself, Hunter. I'm not scared of anything else. Not death, not being hurt- nothing."

"Do you want me to get you like help or anything? A therapist?" Hunter asked, concerned.

"No!"

He nodded understandingly. "Okay." I yanked my sleeve back down, putting my head in my hands. "I'm such a control freak. Can't even handle people."

"Don't say that."

Why the hell not?

"You sound like Cisco," I murmured, mad at myself for my continuous stream of thoughts about him.

Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Sorry."

"It's fine," he placed a hand on my shoulder, then stood up. I stayed seated.

"Sorry." Again.

Sorrysorrysorrysorry.

"It's fine!" Again.

"He makes me feel the worst- I can't control him at all. Can't influence him, can't make him do anything."

Shut UP, Leslie! Shut UP!

"Who, Cisco?" Hunter's voice sounded different. I nodded, bitting onto my tongue till it bleed.

Metallic, salty, blood.