I don't want to do this

I can't do this

He stared across the destroyed landscape he glanced to see the villagers, his teammates, his sensei everyone who was precious to him, and the enemy who was the most precious of all. This wasn't him, the creature that stood hunched over, screaming, the Hokage didn't know how to pursue this, he'd tried stalling, and driving the monster out, but he wasn't a monster, not to him, he was his hero, his most admired of companions, how was he supposed to win this? Torn between love for your village and love for the person you've spent your days with, preparing coffee and teaching the basics of the importance of ramen, and their sons, how was he supposed to choose? He felt the tears burn his eyes, the fear in the eyes of the villagers, even his old teammates who seemed so fearless to him, shaking where they stood. He wiped the tears that had fallen, he was their leader he couldn't let them see him break, and he was the best of all shinobi he had to protect his people even if it meant destroying the one he loved, he swallowed the lump of doubt in his throat, nodding to only himself as if he were ready, he would never be ready for this. He shut his eyes, willing his chakra to his right hand, all he could muster, he felt it flow through him and he couldn't fight the tears this time, letting them flow freely as he opened his eyes, the face of the enemy staring at him, snarling like he was a wild animal, when only this morning he set down his coffee, kissed their sons head and wished him luck at the training he was taking with Kakashi, holding their other son on his hip as he sipped his coffee smiling as he sent the other of with a kiss telling him to do his best today. Naruto had smiled into the kiss and told him he would as he left. He didn't know what changed, or how it was so great it caused the transformation but he had to do this, to stop the final step in the transformation, for his people and his love, he didn't want this, the Hokage knew that. They'd stayed up many a nights discussing this very outcome, how the other had said he wouldn't hold a grudge if he had to be killed to save the village, he wasn't even from this village and he loved it, no one treated him like a monster, like he didn't matter, he didn't have to be alone anymore.

"I'm sorry." Fell from his lips as he began to build up his chakra, running towards the person he loved most with intent to kill. His heart twisted in so many ways, a cry escaping his lips as he grabbed at his wrist, forcing his hand down as he ran. Please I'm so sorry.

"Stop!"

He almost wasn't fast enough to stop, jerking his knees, probably dislocating one of them as he halted, he opened his eyes too afraid to walk as he would have hurt the one he loves. There with a head full of the blood red hair he'd grown so used to, stood in front of his father, kunai in hand, facing the monster that raised him.

"Don't hurt him dad." He murmured quietly, as he glanced up, the Hokage felt his chakra leave his hand as he watched, stepping back trying not to stumble, and he didn't want to lose them both.

"Misaki, please." Naruto had reached out a hand ready to grab his son back.

"He's my dad, I'll fix him." Misaki said sadly. Naruto knew a kunai would do nothing against Gaara, not in the state, not in his regular state; he was one of the strongest men Naruto knew. He watched as his son dropped the weapon and reached forward, wrapping his arms around the sand that had formed around his father's body.

"Dad, please!" He screamed, loud enough even for Gaara, who was lost to Shukaku. Naruto watched, hands tightening into fists as he was halted, stuck on the spot as he had no choice but watch, watch as the clawed arm was tightened around his sons body, listened to the screaming as the sand began to crack, the blood began to seep through their sons clothing where the claws had punctured, but he didn't cry, he didn't scream he clenched his teeth willing his father to stop. The sand fell, his skin cracked; he screamed loudly pushing his son away as he collapsed to the ground. Naruto regained his movement, quickly going to Gaara's side, his hands flying to the other's face.

"Is Dad going to be okay?" Misaki asked quietly, he'd never seen the transformation and blindly jumped into battle but Naruto was proud, but he needed to take care of Gaara right now.

"The village will be safe because of you Misaki." Naruto whispered before smiling over at his son, who beamed, his parents approval was all he ever wanted. Naruto watched as Misaki made his way over to the villagers, his friends, his classmates, his rivals, he saw all their faces, the look of disgust, and annoyance at his father who had almost destroyed the village, Misaki hated them for that, Gaara couldn't control Shukaku as well as he puts off, Misaki know that why can't they understand that? The villagers liked Gaara, but they were already weary of what could happen.

Naruto let his tears drop onto Gaara's face, quickly wiping them as he reached down for him, his hands searched for something, for anything to know he was going to be okay. He heard some villagers shouting 'Lord Hokage and Naruto' but he didn't care, he couldn't move. One voice got closer until he felt a hand close around his shoulder, quickly glancing back, Sakura and Shikamaru, both with sad smiles on their faces. Naruto looked back to Gaara, his hands sliding across the fabric of Gaara's shirt.

"Come on; let's get him to the medical bay." Sakura nodded as he got up and got onto the other side of Gaara, she knew Naruto could carry him, but was worried if she let him, he wouldn't let him go. She nodded towards Shikamaru who huffed in annoyance before carefully grabbing Naruto's shoulders, Sakura picked Gaara up, Naruto's hands falling off him. He scrambled to follow her, Shikamaru guiding him. The people watched their leader, usually so fearless, with a smile on his face always, looking so distraught as he passed they bowed their heads. Naruto smiled at them as Sakura began to quicken her pace as more sand began to crumble, Naruto and Shikamaru quickly following.

Misaki watched, ready to follow before someone grabbed his arm; Kakashi. The older man smiled down at him.

"He'll be alright." Kakashi assured. Misaki didn't know which one he was talking about only nodded.

Sakura laid Gaara on one of the free beds in the medical wing, the rest still full from the genin from the second round of the chunin exams, a lot of them were hurt badly and here Sakura took care of them. Now the proctor for the final battles of the exam was here injured, hopefully he would recover in time. Sakura was sure he would, she'd seen this happen before, worst even when they were all taking the chunin exams for the first time, when he was injured he got back up, he would this time, he was stronger he had something to fight for now. Naruto was forced to wait outside, Shikamaru trying to keep him calm as Sakura tried to help.

"You know he'll be alright, he's a lot stronger than most think, he's not some delicate flower just because he's your 'woman'' Shikamaru used hair quotes trying not to get on the bad side of the Hokage.

Naruto stopped being concerned for one second to roll his eyes before glancing back into the room through the window, the sand beginning to rise back up. He sighed loudly, the pain in his gut leaving slowly as he watched each grain of sand. He finally pushed his way inside, the smile returning to his face. Gaara finally cracked one black rimmed eye looking up at Naruto.

"I'm sorry." They both quickly said at the same time.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Naruto assured. Gaara nodded but knew that wasn't the case, the villagers had finally just trusted him, and that had taken almost 12 years. A smile was finally brought to Gaara's lips when Misaki ran into the room, huffing loudly as he came to his father's side.

"Thank you, Misaki." Gaara smiled reaching a hand out to touch his son's cheek."Where's your brother?"

"Are you alright?" He asked ignoring his father's question about Shion, his little brother.

"He's more than alright." Naruto smiled setting his hand down on his son's head, Misaki nodded. He remembers them both saying before the chunin exams to be safe, and now he wondered if he should give them the same lecture.

"Shion is with Tsunade." Misaki finally told them the whereabouts of their son. The both nodded, she was trusted.

"Misaki what are you doing here? You should be training with Kakashi sensei." Naruto smiled, he didn't want this to halt his son's practice. He glanced at Gaara who just nodded with a smile on his face. Naruto watched his son train often, using both his inherited strengths of sand and leaf.

"It's only a week until the finals." Gaara murmured as their son left the room. Sakura listened, her own daughter, who was on Misaki's squad, would be fighting.

"They'll be alright." Naruto smiled, always the positive. Gaara was far more worried, he knew the battles, which his son and the others would be fighting it made him uneasy everyday as he sent their son off in the morning to train with Kakashi, who still had it after all this time.

"Let's go home." Gaara said quickly as he got up. Naruto tried to reach out and slow him down, but he was already on his feet and heading for the door.

"Slow down, will you?" Naruto asked trying to catch up to the other.

"Worried you'll lose me?" Gaara asked as monotone as ever. Naruto smirked as he approached behind him, one arm wrapping around Gaara's neck as the other wrapped around his waist pulling him back. He didn't care that he got a mouthful of hair as he buried his face into Gaara's neck.

"I was really worried." He murmured.

"You shouldn't have been, I had everything under control." Gaara shrugged, his fingers ghosting over the raised veins in Naruto's hands. Naruto just nodded, tightening his grip around the other man, needing to keep him here, keep him alive and by his side.