Fine Again
A/AN: The lyrics from Seether's "Fine Again" inspired this story. I've decided to embellish the scene a bit more between Daryl and Carol is "Consumed" from S5. I felt there was a lot left unsaid which should have been mentioned.
"You used to work here or something?" Daryl inquired as Carol unlocked the door with the keys they'd stolen off the dead walker.
"Something like that. It doesn't matter anymore. The only thing this place is going to serve as is a decent place to hunker down for the night," Carol retorted, pushing open the door.
"So, you came here before?" Daryl inquired, regarding his companion inquisitively.
Carol shrugged. "We didn't stay; it's just temporary housing now," she told him, patting the top bunk. "I'll take the top bunk. I think that one's more your style," she sniggered, referencing the girly pastel pink comforter.
Daryl gave her a sideways glance, clearly unamused by the jest.
Carol chuckled at his expression. "I'll take first watch; you should sleep," she remarked, squeezing his shoulder affectionately as she sauntered to the window.
Daryl felt a wave of warmth spiral through him from the innocent contact. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "It looks like this place is locked up pretty tight."
"Yeah, so you should get some rest. You hardly ever sleep," Carol commented, her shoulders stiffening as she gazed out the window. She didn't look at him, simply kept her gaze fixed on the city's rubble below.
Daryl laid back on the bed, analyzing her tense body language. Carol had her fair share of secrets, but so did he. Ever since they'd reunited after the Terminus escapade, her walls had been up. He wasn't one to badger others, and preferred keeping to himself, but Carol was different. If there was one person he longed to unravel more than anyone, it was her.
Carol turned slightly, her body rigid. "You said we get to start over ..."
"Yeah?" he queried.
"Did you?" she asked, locking gazes with him.
"I'm tryin'," he added, concealing what he'd really wanted to say. He wanted to start over, but not alone. No, any new start he had, he wanted it to be with her.
Carol averted her gaze back to the glass.
"Why don't you say what's really on your mind?" Daryl implored, hoping if she opened up to anyone, it might be him. Secrets were a heavy burden to carry, especially the one's Carol was holding on to.
Carol averted her gaze to the floor. "I don't think we get to save people anymore," she remarked, a tinge of despondency in her voice.
"Why are you here?" he continued, because if she'd lost all hope, why had she accompanied him?
"I'm trying," she remarked, meeting his gaze. She closed the distance between them, lying back on the bed beside him.
Daryl brushed his thumb over his knuckles in contemplation. "When we were out by the car, what if I hadn't shown up?"
"I still don't know," she replied, gazing up at the underside of the bunk. It was the safe answer, but truthfully, she didn't know what the hell she was doing out here. Maybe she'd meant to separate herself from the group again. Being a loner meant there was no one to disappoint but yourself, but she was past that. She would never live up to her own expectations anymore. She didn't have any.
Suddenly, a loud banging disturbed their train of thought, and they both jumped up simultaneously, grabbing their weapons and creeping quietly into the hallway. A pair of walkers were banging against the glass door. Carol placed her hand on the knob, ready to open it and exterminate the problem. Daryl placed his hand over hers, halting her.
"You don't have to," he remarked.
She paused, placing her hand back on the knob.
"You don't," he reassured her.
She walked away, saying nothing as she laid back on the bed. He settled back down beside her, and when she didn't protest, he daringly turned to face her. "You still haven't told me what happened after you left."
"I met up with Tyreese and the girls, that's what happened," she told him, clenching her eyes shut and biting her lip until she could taste the tang of iron – to keep herself from dispelling the rest of the truth – the part where she was a murderer and had failed to keep them safe.
Carol shuddered, feeling his weathered hand caressing her cheek. "You don't have to be afraid, I ain't here to judge ya," he reassured her.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she gazed at him for a few seconds or possibly hours, Carol didn't know. All she knew was that Daryl Dixon, the most closed off individual in their group was asking her to open up to him.
"Tyreese, Judith, and the girls and I found a house – somewhere to lay low for awhile. Mika was smarter about things, yet afraid. She knew the walkers were bad, but Lizzie," Carol stifled back an onslaught of tears as she made herself relive that day.
"Lizzie wanted to befriend them. She didn't think they were evil, just different. One day she took it too far, and she killed Mika in cold blood, because she wanted to make us understand they were no different than us. Tyreese intercepted, and hauled Lizzie away, while I took care of Mika. Afterward, I took Lizzie outside and told her to look at the flowers to calm herself down. I pulled out my gun and..." Carol found it impossible to finish her statement, an ugly sob tearing from her throat as Daryl pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly.
"I didn't want to, but-"
"Shh...You don't owe me or anyone an explanation. You did what you thought was best, because it was what you had to do. She wouldn't have survived much longer, and you spared her – spared her from turning into one of those things, left to mindlessly roam the earth with no purpose but devouring others. You made the right decision, though it was a hard call," he crooned, his consoling words a healing balm to her battered soul.
Carol wasn't sure what possessed her to kiss him. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, or because she was lonely, but when he didn't pull away – she didn't either. Daryl brought up a hesitant hand, cradling the back of her head with his hand gently, allowing her to lead. She deepened the kiss, daringly slipping her tongue inside his mouth. His fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt, and she took his hand, urging his searching fingers upwards. He dusted his fingertips against her skin, continuing to plunder her mouth as he rolled over on top of her.
It'd been a long time since they'd indulged themselves in carnal pleasures, but this wasn't meant to be just one night of passion. No, it was merely the beginning of something new – something they'd both been craving their entire lives. It was ironic how it took the world ending to bring them together, but Carol knew as long as they had each other, they would both be fine.
