3:14 am. Tweek eyed the digital alarm clock, radiating a soft fluorescent glow in the corner of the room, his eyes heavy at the prospect of having several more hours before he needs to wake up and yet found himself unable to lull himself back into the peaceful respite of sleep. The room was quiet, moonlight shining through the window, illuminating the glow in the dark stars that littered the ceiling along with the facial features of a certain ivory haired boy. A small trail of drool pooled from his open mouth onto the bed sheets and a low snoring pierced the eerie silence that made Tweek shake and shudder with nervousness.
It had been a Friday and Tweek had come over to Craig's for his weekly routine of a sleepover. They had watched a movie in Craig's room, eaten some snacks, drank some beer that Craig had carefully procured from his dad's secret stash and then fell asleep huddled in each other's body heat whilst the covers draped over their legs and torso. Despite the intimacy of the close contact, Tweek felt a hollowing in his chest knowing that despite appearing to his friends and family that him and Craig were more than friends the reality couldn't be further from the truth.
And the truth was what hurt him most of all.
It was all fake. They weren't dating, they were just pretending. Craig had kissed other girls and gone to parties despite the illusion of being a couple and Tweek had let him because stopping him would mean admitting that Craig made him feel things. Craig was the reason Tweek got up in the morning, he was the reason to make it to the end of the school day and the reason he felt the bubbling anticipation at the end of the week where they could both secure themselves in Craig's room, relax and Tweek could delude himself into thinking that the small looks that Craig gave him, the brushing of fingers and nights spent huddled together actually meant something to the both of them.
He couldn't admit how he felt. Craig was all he had and the prospect of losing him was far worse than the perpetual sadness he felt day in and day out. And yet, he was at his breaking point. He couldn't take having Craig so close but so far out of reach like a rabbit having a carrot dangled in front of him as it helplessly reached for that which he could never have.
Nails dug half-moons into his skin drawing blood which slowly trickled down from his shoulder to his forearm. He had to get out, he couldn't stay here. He had to leave. Why was he finding it hard to breathe? He couldn't do this. He need to run, run, run, run RUN!
Not caring about the noise he made, Tweek launched himself out of the bed, the springs of the bed expanding back to their original position echoing a loud creak into the room. No sooner had Tweek reached for the door handle his foot caught on Craig's jacket, losing his footing and face planting firmly onto the Red Racer carpet eliciting a muffled scream from Tweek.
Suddenly, silence. A tense silence permeated the room as Craig had stopped snoring and Tweek felt the immediate presence of movement.
"Tweek…?" Craig rubbed his eyes, his voice low and tired.
"Tweek! Are you alright!?"
Suddenly his voice was thick with concern and worry, Craig bolted from the bed, an arm quickly wrapped around Tweek shoulder, caressing the smooth inner plain of Tweek's neck only for Craig to have his arm forcefully shoved away.
"I'm leaving. I'll see you Monday" Tweek's eyes were heavy, tears slowly spilling out onto the carpet beneath them.
"Leaving? It's 3:30 am Tweek. What's wrong Tweek, what's-" Craig suddenly eying the small trail of blood curling over Tweek's knuckles, and pained sobs littering the room from his mouth. Something was seriously wrong, Tweek had had episodes before but never this bad.
Without saying anything more he slowly moved to embrace Tweek in a hug, thankful that he didn't push him away.
"Please don't cry. Just tell me what's wrong, okay?" Craig cooed in his ear, as his hands cradled the back of his head. Craig was never like this, as long as Tweek knew him he was never the type to elicit this much emotion, but Tweek was angry. He didn't want his pity, he couldn't take feeling the weight of emotions coiling in the pit of his stomach threatening to burst out of his gut.
"Leave me alone. Just fuck off and leave me alone!" Tweek snarled yet his body betrayed his voice as he gripped to the fabric of Craig's spaceman shirt pulling himself closer. His head resting in the crook of Craig's neck.
"T-This is your fault! I can't keep it up anymore. I can't keep faking it. I can't keep watching you go off and sleep with other girls whilst I act as though I'm fine with it! I can't deal with these feelings any longer…..I can't Craig….I just can't." he trailed off. The sorrow in his voice was almost palpable.
Craig became stiff, sitting there cradling Tweek. A few awkward moments passed before he released himself from the embrace, got up and opened his nightstand as if searching for something before coming back with a pack of tissues. He took one from the packet before attentively drying the trail of blood from Tweek's arms, then slowly moving to his eyes, soaking up the tears. He started intently at Tweek the entire time a saddened expression plastered on his face; his sorrowful features accentuated by the pale moonlight.
"I'm so sorry Tweekers."
Suddenly without warning warm lips pressed against Tweek's, surprised as Craig's tongue began to map the surface and texture of his mouth, the underlying flavour of coffee still lingering on his breathe.
"Mmmmmphhh…." Tweek releases a low moan, his mind completely blank. Unable to comprehend what was happening but before Tweek could get lost in the delicious sensation of Craig's mouthhe felt him separate prematurely.
"I've hurt you, haven't I?"
"Yes….but why did-?"
"I Kiss you? Because…" Craig looked away, clearly finding it difficult to say the right words.
"Because, I love you Tweekers. Those times with those girls, was a lie."
"…But, then why did you do it?" Tweek croaked out, his voice trembling.
"Because you've grown so much, I-I felt like I wasn't needed anymore." Craig's voice cracking, clearly Tweek hadn't been the only one with emotional baggage. "After all why else would anybody hang around me? I'm such a fuck up, I can't even keep friends let alone you."
Tweek was shocked, he could feel himself breaking down. He wanted to tell Craig how much he meant to him, how he wasn't going to leave him despite appearing as such but Craig continued to pour his heart out.
"I tried to take my mind off you by going to parties and trying to sleep with others but every time I tried, I could only think of you. Your cute face, your love of coffee, even your eccentricities and crazy theories about gnomes stealing your underwear. I am completely and utterly enamoured with you Tweek, so please don't leave me."
It was hard to look at him speaking like this so Tweek could only look down at Craig's favourite carpeting. He thought he was the only one feeling awful about their fake relationship but Craig was just as conflicted and broken as him. Then between the silence that lingered between his last sentence he could hear small whimpers, similar to that of a child.
Looking up made his heart sink.
Craig was crying.
Craig never cried. As long as Tweek had known him, even when Stripe had died, even when his parents argued and Clyde and Token had moved away, Craig disposition never changed from his monotone apathetic facade.
But there he was, this beautiful ivory haired boy named Craig Tucker. The same Craig Tucker who had taught Tweek about space, why Stripe was awesome and why isn't wasn't childish to watch Red Racer even at the peak of their adolescence. The same boy Tweek had pinned after since the start of their fake relationship was now sitting there with tears streaming down his face. If you ever asked Tweek if he would see Craig Tucker cry then he would probably laugh at the prospect but all he could feel now was a hole in the pit of his stomach as though someone had reached deep within his gut and ripped it out of his body.
Soft hands cusped Craig's tearful face. His expression reflecting that of a sad puppy, tearful eyes glinting like jewels in the rays of moonlight.
"I'm not going anywhere Craig, because I love you too."
Then it was Tweek turn to smash his lips against Craig's. His tongue entering his mouth with little resistance, slowly encompassing the taste that while not unique or notable was distinctly Craig like.
Despite wanting to continue he felt himself separated from Craig's lips a second time, a whine softly escaping his lips.
"So, you love me back?" Craig stated as he dried his eyes on the cuff of his shirt.
"Hasn't it been obvious? How could you be so dense? You idiot" Despite the insulting nature of the sentence there was no malice in Tweek's voice.
Craig smiled slightly, his face sending shockwaves to Tweek's heart.
"Let's get back in bed shall we? It's cold out here."
"Mmmmm, okay"
And so, Craig and Tweek slowly moved back to covers as Craig once again drapes the covers over them, the first difference being that now Craig held Tweek in his arms, his head resting in the crook of his neck.
The second was that they both felt content.