Disclaimer
I do not own The 100 or any of the characters. Parts of this story will be scenes from the show, word for word, woven in to my own story. I do not claim credit for those parts. That credit belongs to the authors.
Clarke sat in her room, the knife Roan left cradled in her hands, his instructions running through her head over and over. The concept was simple enough; kill Lexa and her people would be safe. Azgeda would take control and become their allies.
But could she do it? Her anger at Lexa for the betrayal at Mount Weather was still strong, but in a way she could understand the choice Lexa has made. She had run the scenario over and over in her head countless times since she left her camp; had she been given the same choice would she have chosen differently.? Would she have stood by Lexa or taken her people to guaranteed safety? She never could answer herself. And then there were her feelings for Lexa, which were even further confused by the fact the commander had wanted her kept safe. She'd left her to die only to go out of her way to keep her safe? She started to run over her conversation with Roan in her head again when she she heard the foot steps of someone approaching the door.
After a moments hesitation she slipped the knife into her sleeve and stood up, just as Lexa entered the room.
"You wanted to see me? I'm here."
Her voice was soft, almost questioning. Not the same powerful voice she used when speaking as the commander. Clarke was facing away from her and briefly closed her eyes, still torn.
"Clarke." Lexa spoke with a hint of frustration and Clarke heard her take a step forward. She took a deep breath and spun to meet Lexa, the knife sliding out of her sleeve and to the commanders neck in one fluid movement. Lexa froze, and so did Clarke; her breaths coming in shaky gasps as she pressed the knife into Lexa's skin. They both stood there; Lexa made no move to fight or escape although Clarke knew full well she was more than capable.
Clarke looked up and was surprised to meet Lexa's stare eye to eye. She was expecting anger or outrage but instead saw nothing but trust and understanding. She felt her resolve, and anger, start to crumble as tears threatened to fall.
"I'm sorry." Lexa whispered and that was all it took for Clarke to realize this wasn't what she wanted. She shook her head slowly as the tears rolled down her face. She pushed herself away from Lexa, turning away from her and letting the knife fall from her hand. Lexa continued to speak softly from behind her.
"I never meant to turn you in to this. You're free to go. Your mother is here, I'll have you escorted to her."
Lexa turned to leave, fighting to keep the emotions off her face.
"Wait." Clarke called from behind her. "I have a better idea."
Lexa stopped and looked over her shoulder at Clarke, waiting.
" Skaikru will join the coalition as the 13th clan. I'll talk to my mother and Kane. I'll explain to them that it's the best way to keep our people safe. You're right."
Lexa hesitated, then turned and walked towards Clarke.
"Azgeda will not recognize Skaikru joining the coalition unless you bow to me. If you don't, they will continue to question my power and we will be facing the same problem."
Clarke lifted her chin and looked Lexa in the eyes. Lexa recognized the challenge in Clarke's stare and chose her answer carefully.
"I know you said you'd never bow to me, but I'm telling you, it is the way of our people. A sign of respect, and recognition of power. You wiping out the mountain has put my power in question."
"Your power wouldn't be in question if you had stayed! We would have destroyed the mountain together! I didn't ask for this so called power. I asked for you to trust me, to fight with me. You said you trusted me, that you cared for me, but you betrayed me! You left me, and my people, to die!"
As she spoke Clarke walked slowly forward until she was toe to toe with Lexa, speaking with a quiet anger rather than screaming.
Lexa stared into Clarke's blue eyes as she spoke and almost had to hold back a smile. The sky girl was so passionate; it was one of the things that drew Lexa to her.
"I know. But I ask you this; if you had been in my position, would you have chosen differently?"
Clarke sighed and her shoulders sagged. Lexa was surprised to see her almost seem to deflate.
"I don't know. I've asked myself the same thing so many times and the answer is I don't know. I trusted you...I thought...you cared about me."
"I did...I do. It's why I made sure you were brought to me safely."
"But if you care...then how could you just leave?"
It was Lexa's turn to sigh. She turned and walked away from Clarke, pacing for a moment as she struggled to find the best way to answer the question. Clarke sat down on the edge of the bed, resting her knees on her elbows and cradling her head in her hands as she waited for Lexa's reply.
"Do you think it was easy for me to leave you there?" The question came out soft, almost as a whisper, and she quietly crossed the room to stand in front of Clarke.
Clarke laughed softly at the question before looking up at Lexa.
"I don't know, was it? Because it sure seemed like it was. You're the one who said you just stopped caring about everyone. You make it seem like it is to protect them, but maybe it's to protect yourself."
The anger seeped back into Clarke's voice as she spoke and Lexa inwardly cringed. This wasn't what she wanted.
"Clarke...I can't always make the decisions I want to make. I have to make the decisions that are -"
"Best for your people. I know. I was there." Clarke cut her off with a mocking tone. Lexa surprised her by sitting down on the bed next to her.
"Yes. Right for my people. All of my people. So how would I have explained turning down a deal that guaranteed their safety, now and in the future, because I wanted to stay for you?"
"Told them that you were honoring the truce and alliance we had built. Without my people, you wouldn't have even gotten close to that mountain, let alone..." Clarke's angry retort drifted into silence as she realized what Lexa had admitted. She looked up to find Lexa staring into her eyes.
"Wait...you wanted to stay for me..."
"Clarke...I..."
Clarke watched as Lexa, who was normally completely composed and in control struggled to keep her composure while still answering the questions that honestly didn't have answers. She knew how hard it was for Lexa to show any sign of emotion or weakness and in that moment Clarke realized how hard Lexa was trying. She reached out and placed her hand over Lexa's. Lexa looked down at their hands, then up at Clarke; her green eyes full of confusion.
"It's ok Lexa." She whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Clarke...I meant it when I said I was sorry..."
"I know. I see that now...but the dead are gone. We need to do what's best for the living."
Lexa tilted her head slightly, asking the question without saying anything.
"I will come to the summit and bow to you. Skaikru will become the thirteenth clan. We will stop this war."
The corners of Lexa's mouth turned up slightly in a soft smile. Clarke's hand was still resting on top of hers, neither of them moved.
"We should go talk to my mother and Kane, tell them the plan."
Clarke met Lexa's eyes and the commander nodded once before standing up, abruptly breaking their contact. Lexa was surprised by the twinge of sadness she felt as Clarke's hand slipped off of hers, but she pushed the feeling aside as she always did, easily slipping into the role of commander.
"Let's go. There is a lot to discuss and not much time. "
The discussion with her mother and Kane had gone smoother than Clarke thought it would. She had bathed and washed her hair in preparation for the summit and was sitting on the bed in her room when she heard a soft knock on the door.
"Come in."
She was surprised when Lexa opened the door and walked into the room. The commander didn't usually wait for permission.
"Since when do you knock?"
Lexa barely held back a smile; Clarke always made her opinions so obvious.
"I wanted to make sure you were dressed."
"Thank you, I appreciate that."
"I had some dresses brought in while you were bathing. I'm sure one of them will fit and be to your liking."
"I saw them, thank you."
"You're welcome. I assume you'll be doing your braids yourself? And your paint?"
"Paint?"
"You are Wanheda, you should have war paint. All the clans have markings or symbols, tattoos in some cases. You will be becoming the 13th clan. You should too."
"Oh...I guess I should. It's just, I've never..."
Clarke fumbled over the words. She felt stupid saying she had no idea where to even start with war paint, or the intricate braids for that matter. She'd wiped out Mount Weather but she couldn't do her hair or makeup. Lexa lifted her chin and looked puzzled.
"I can't do war paint...or the braids your people do. It will look ridiculous if I try."
"I can do it for you, if you'd like?" Lexa offered. Clarke smiled at the gesture and nodded.
She sat on the edge of the bed and Lexa stood behind her, running her fingers through her hair to remove the tangles before she got to work braiding.
Clarke sighed softly and found herself relaxing under Lexa's touch. It wasn't the first time she found herself wishing they had met under difference circumstances. She found herself thinking about when they kissed and how much she had just wanted to loose herself in it before she'd pushed Lexa back.
Lexa braided quietly. She could tell Clarke was lost in thought and didn't want to interrupt whatever it was she was thinking about. She was glad the sky girl didn't seem disgusted by her presence anymore and hoped they could get back to the way things had been going between them. She had known it was a bold move to kiss Clarke when she had, not really knowing for sure how the other girl felt. When Clarke said she wasn't ready yet, Lexa wanted to tell her that she'd wait; but the commander side of her wouldn't let her show that much emotion. She'd ready shown too much. She was going to end up putting Clarke in danger has she had Costia and the thought scared her more than it should have.
"Lexa?" Clarke spoke so quietly that Lexa wasn't sure she'd heard her.
"Yes Clarke?"
"Thank you."
"It's just braids and paint."
"No...not just that. For everything. For bring Sakikru in as the 13th clan. For wanting to keep my people safe. I know you say that war is brewing and you need the power of Wanheda...but I know you. That isn't your only reason, is it?"
The statement caught Lexa off guard and she paused for a moment before tying off one braid and moving on to the next. She was thankful that Clarke was facing away from her so she couldn't read the emotion all over her face. Typically she could keep herself under control, but it was getting harder when it came to Clarke; and it was a problem.
"Ice nation will not question my power once you bow before me at the summit and become the 13th clan. It will keep your people safe, and stop a war. I told you, no one will move against you because it would be moving against me."
"I'm not asking for the commander's reason, I'm asking for yours Lexa."
"I am the Commander, Clarke. That is my reason."
Lexa finished another braid and Clarke turned to face her, her blue eyes fierce.
"I know you are the Commander, but I know you. There is more to it than that. Just like there is a reason you had me brought here safe. If you really wanted my power, then according to your people's tradition you should have killed me to take my power. But that's not all this is about."
Lexa sighed but held Clarke's stare. She knew the other girl wasn't done.
"I know you think that feelings, love, is weakness. But it doesn't have to be. It can make you stronger. I've seen how strong being loved can make someone."
"Love can cause people to make stupid decisions. I can't make stupid decisions, the fate of too many people relies on my decisions."
"Love doesn't always cause people to make stupid decisions. Feelings aren't always weaknesses. Knowing people, trusting them, is sometimes what pushes people to do things they otherwise wouldn't. You thought I was wrong to count on Bellamy getting in to Mount Weather. You thought I was wrong to trust Octavia, but I wasn't."
"Caring for people puts them in danger, Clarke. It's a big risk."
Lexa's voice was low, on the edge of angry. She knew what Clarke wanted her to admit, but she wasn't ready to go there yet. Clarke stood up so they were inches away from each other, face to face.
"What if that risk is something they are willing to take?"
"What happened to Costia...just because she was mine...I couldn't ask anyone to take that kind of risk."
"It doesn't work like that Lexa. When you care about people, you never ask them to take the risks they take. They just do it."
Lexa slowly shook her head and looked away from Clarke. Clarke knew she was pushing it, but stepped sideways, forcing Lexa to make eye contact with her.
"What is your reason Lexa? For making Skaikru the 13th clan?" She asked softly, hoping not to anger the other girl.
"I told you -"
"No, you haven't. You've told me the reasons that you've made that choice as a commander, but I know there's more to it than that. If I'm going to bow before you in front of the entire coalition, and show that I trust you and am willing to follow you after what happened at Mount Weather, I think I deserve the truth."
Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As much as she wanted to fight and deny it, she was falling in love with Clarke. It terrified her that it could mean Clarke may face the same fate as Costia, but at the same time she didn't want to lose her. She knew if she didn't give her an honest answer, Clarke would never trust her.
"To keep you safe." Lexa whispered "I...care about you Clarke, and I brought you here to keep you safe. I want Skaikru as the 13th clan because it will also keep you safe."
Clarke smiled and reached for Lexa's hand. She grabbed her by the wrist and pulled closer until there was no space between them. Lexa's green eyes widened in surprise as Clarke leaned in and kissed her softly before stepping back.
A small smile played across Lexa's face before she turned serious again.
"Clarke..."
"You should finish my braids, and do my paint. The summit is soon."
Lexa was surprised by the abrupt shift in the conversation, but she nodded as Clarke turned around for her to finish the braids. She did so in comfortable silence, then Clarke turned back to face Lexa so she could do her paint. Lexa dipped her fingers in the black paint and gently spread it next to Clarke's eyes, letting her touch linger longer than necessary.
She'd been at war with her feelings for Clarke for a while. As she was finishing her hair she thought back to the angry conversation when Clarke had called her weak and a liar for hiding from her feelings. She was starting to see the truth it that statement, and she was also tired of hiding from them.
She picked up a brush to finish Clarke's paint.
"You say love means sometimes you're willing to take risks?" She asked softly, her mouth inches from Clarke's ear as she worked on the side of her face.
"Yes. Take risks, do stupid things, have faith when things seems impossible and find strength when you don't think you have anymore. It's not always weakness..."
Lexa considered her statement for a moment. Making Skaikru the 13th clan was a risk...one she was taking for Clarke.
"And knowing what happened to Costia...is this...a risk you're willing to take?" She gestured at the space between them and slowly looked up into Clarke's eyes.
"Yes." Clarke whispered, shocked at what Lexa was saying "but if you betray me again..." Her voice broke, the hurt from Mount Weather was still raw, even if it was something she understood.
"I won't." Lexa's response was immediate, her voice strong as she took Clarke's hand. "I'll prove it to you at the summit."
She leaned forward and kissed Clarke, softly at first, then with more intensity as Clarke's arm wove around her waist pulling them closer together. She smiled as she put a hand on Clarke's chest and gently pushed her back.
"Let's finish getting ready, it's almost time."
Clarke nodded and was unable to wipe the smile off her face as Lexa finished her war paint and they got dressed. Lexa took her hand as they went to walk out of the room and Clarke looked at her questioningly.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm not a liar Clarke, and I'm done running from my feelings."
Clarke nodded and they walked down the hall together. Titus raised his eyebrows at them.
"Heda...do you think this is a good-"
"Shof op, Titus."
Lexa silenced him with a waive of her hand and he fell into step behind them as they made their way to the summit.
The doors of the summit hall opened and Clarke walked in, headed straight towards Lexa, who was standing at her throne. She stopped a few feet back from the steps and held Lexa's gaze for a moment before dropping to one knee and lowering her head. A quiet murmur made its way through the crowd as everyone else did the same. Once everyone was quiet, Lexa began.
"Hail warriors of the 12 clans."
"Hail commander of the blood." They replied in unison.
"Rise."
Everyone stood and the whispers continued as most people cast questioning glances at Clarke. Lexa continued.
"We welcome Skaikru to our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony. And we welcome Clarke Kom Skaikru, legendary Wanheda, mountain slayer.
The reason for this summit has changed. We are not here to negotiate a treaty with the Skaikru, but rather to initiate them into the coalition. To symbolize this Union, the leader of Skaikru must bear our mark."
There was a quiet conversation between Kane and Abby where it was decided it would be Kane who bore the mark. Lexa nodded at him.
"Present your arm."
Kane did as he was instructed and barely held back a scream as the mark was burnt into the skin of his forearm. He nodded at Lexa a stepped back into his place next to Abby.
Lexa turned to Clarke and held out her hand.
"Wanheda."
She gestured for Clarke to join her next to the throne. Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. Lexa had gone over the summit with her, and this had not been mentioned. She walked over to Lexa and took her hand as she stepped up in front of the throne.
"What are you doing?" Clarke whispered.
"I told you, I'm done running. And I'm going to prove that I won't betray you."
Still holding Clarke's hand, Lexa dropped to one knee. Clarke barely held in a gasp of surprise and silence quickly filled the room.
Lexa was aware of the deafening silence but never took her eyes off Clarke as she spoke.
"I swear fealty to you, Clarke Kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own. And your people as my people."
Clarke could feel the tears building in her eyes as she took in the meaning of Lexa's statement. She knew the risk Lexa was taking as Commander by saying what she had said. She didn't know how to respond so she did the first thing that came to mind.
She tugged on Lexa's hand, encouraging her to stand up, then kneeled in front of her. Lexa was shocked, but didn't let it show and kept her attention on Clarke.
"And I swear fealty to you, Lexa Kom Trikru, Heda. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people. And I vow that Skaikru will do our best to learn and uphold the rules and traditions of your coalition."
Lexa nodded and pulled Clarke until she was standing. She turned to face the still silent crowd, not letting go of Clarke's hand.
"Clarke Kom Skaikru is mine. Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op. Attack her, and you attack me."
Lexa raised her chin and stared in defiance at the crowd, daring anyone to challenge her. A few people shifted restlessly but everyone remained silent.
"This summit is over. Welcome Skaikru, 13th clan. I will have one of my guards and a few other ambassadors fill you in on the laws and answer any questions you may have."
"Thank you, Heda."
One by one the crowd began to kneel for Lexa to leave. Clarke started to do so as well but Lexa squeeze her hand and gently shook her head no. Once everyone had knelt, they walked out the doors side by side flanked by guards with Titus behind them.
Once they were out of earshot of the crowd, Clarke spoke.
"Clarke Kom Skaikru is mine" she mocked lightly as they walked through the doors of Lexa's bedroom. "So I belong to you now, is that how it works?"
Lexa closed the doors behind them before answering.
"Yes...does that bother you? I thought -"
"That's not what I meant. It just sounds...like you own me. Wasn't that risky? Kneeling before me like that in front of everyone? Won't Azgeda-"
"It's a risk I'm willing to take."
"Because I'm yours?" Clarke laughed, a coy smile spreading across her face.
"Because you're mine." Lexa answered, the serious tone in her voice and the look in her eyes made Clarke's heart skip a beat. She walked over to Lexa and took her hand, pulling her towards the bed.
"I'm yours...I think I can get used to the sound of that."
"Good." Lexa smiled as she let Clarke pull her down onto the bed and into her arms. "Because I don't plan on letting you go."
Clarke smiled, then whispered "Prove it" as her lips met Lexa's and for the first time they let themselves get lost in each other.
Author's Note
This was originally posted as a one shot, however, I had a longer fic planned and decided to just use this as the starting point. Buckle in, its going to be a long ride.