"Call me."
Olivia hesitated for a moment.
"It can be kept a secret…"
"I'm not good at keeping secrets," Olivia said.
"Call me at 6 p.m tomorrow. I know it's hard."
It was hard. She was one of the good ones. She wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. She wasn't supposed to be falling in love. Olivia stared at the silver mirror and barely recognized the reflection that was gazing back at her. It was 6 p.m. Already. Olivia shivered. When she closed her eyes she remembered her past; she remembered who she was, why he was who he was and not someone different and it could be completely okay. She hated that she was a product of rape. Beneath closed eyelids was the image of her drunken mother hurling an empty bottle of vodka at her. The glass shattering into tiny, broken pieces. The tears in a skinny girl's eyes still adjusting to the nights her mother would transform into a monster. Remembering those days made her want to slip into oblivion. The desire to slip in her old habits that she had long abandoned was strong right now. She didn't need this now.
She called his number. "Simon?"
"Are you coming, Liv?" Simon's voice was warm, intoxicating. Olivia wanted to. Every inch of her body wanted to, but she knew it was wrong.
"I don't know if I can. I….I shouldn't." Olivia couldn't hide the hesitation in her voice. She closed her eyes again and remembered the time when she had protected Simon from the FBI. She remembered what it felt like to be run over by her own…half brother… and the relief in finding out that it wasn't actually Simon who attempted to murder her.
"Are you still there, Liv?"
Olivia breathed into the phone. She didn't know what to say.
Simon spoke again. "No one knows we're siblings, Liv. No one knows."
Finally Olivia spoke. "Elliot knows. Cragon knows."
"Half, Olivia. Half siblings."
"It doesn't make it any less wrong, Simon."
"Liv…"
"Listen, Simon…I think….I think I feel the same way….but its wrong. It's just wrong."
The unspoken words were thunderous. I love you. I love you so much I'd break the law to be with you. Would she?
Olivia's buzzer went off. It was Elliot, which meant a victim was found.
"I have to work, Simon. Elliot just called me. A body was found in a dumpster behind an old club."
"Will you call me tomorrow?"
"Maybe."
Olivia hung up and grabbed her badge and drove to the crime scene. She was in cop mode now. She channeled her emotions and her anger into productive energy. On the job there was logic…there was reason…and eventually…usually…there was truth. The dead don't know how to lie. Even when the perfs try to lie for them by tampering with evidence, eventually the bodies always find a way to tell the truth.
Elliot was already there. She could tell by the look in Elliot's eyes that this wasn't good. This was worse than usual. Olivia looked down at the body and was shocked. She was pale, emaciated…bones sticking out…but that wasn't the most shocking. Her breasts were cut off. It looked as if she had been raped, as well. The body was drenched in blood and her face was cut up.
Elliot and Olivia took the evidence they needed from the scene, securing the samples in plastic bags. Back at the police station they looked through a list of missing persons to try to identify the victim and start searching for perfs. Hopefully this one wouldn't be a serial killer/rapist. If he was, hopefully they would catch him before he struck again.
Olivia sighed. It was torture looking at innocent faces lost for no reason. A raving madman was still out there and there was nothing they could do because forensics analyzed the lab results yet and there were no known witnesses.
Then the phone rang. There was another victim. A skinny, blonde female again. The only difference was, this time she somehow managed to escape. Olivia and Elliot drove to the hospital the victim was currently admitted in.
Olivia walked over to the doctors in charge of the victim. Showing them her badge, she asked the victim's name. Hailey.
"Is it okay if Detective Stabler and I go into Hailey's room now?"
"Sure," the doctor said. "She's still weak, though, and probably won't be in the mood to talk yet."
According to the doctors, the perf had slashed Hailey's breasts. SVU ordered a rape kit to determine if rape occurred.
It was 4 a.m. Olivia wasn't even tired. Finally back at her apartment, she didn't want to sleep or eat and she suddenly remembered Simon. She tried to stop thinking about Simon. Was there anything she could do to get rid of these feelings?
Oh yeah. She thought back to her old habit. She had stopped for good years ago. It had been, what…eight years now? But it was so tempting. And it would take the pain away. It would stop her from thinking about Simon. Okay. She would do it, just one more time. She slowly walked into the kitchen and eyed at the shiny silver knife on the counter, mocking her. It wanted her to start cutting again. No. She wouldn't give into the urge. She was stronger. Stronger. But she gave in. The urge was strong, too. As strong as she was. There was no knowing which would win.
Olivia rolled up her sleeve. With her right hand she grab the knife and gashed the inside of her left arm, watching the blood roll down her flesh. The relief felt so good. She dug in deeper but then forced herself to stop. She let the knife fall to the ground and she leaned against the kitchen sink. She reached for a washcloth and held it to her arm. She watched the washcloth fill up with crimson red. She sat down and sighed. For now, everything was alright.