The scene we paint for you dear reader is that of a approximately fifteen year old girl (give or take a few years depending on whether she's trying to buy alcohol or get a concession on a bus fare) pacing the lounge room of her, well, her parents, home. Flipping her blonde hair about with a dramatic flair, she turned her glaring eyes towards the object of her grievances.
"LOOK! Just look BEHIND you, you NO DON"T PLAY WITH IT!!– stupid excuse for a hobbit!" Filled with sudden guilt and shame she fell to her knees.
"OHHHH!! I didn't mean that! I'm so sorry Pippin! It was probably a GOOD IDEA to knock the skeleton down the well….well maybe….not such a good idea…."
In exasperation she flopped onto the couch, depressed at the site of Pippin getting reprimanded by Gandalf. Of course, she had actually seen this scene many times before but she always felt sad for the poor fellow.
Anger suddenly filled her like gas fills a balloon. Or something like that.
Raising herself from the couch, she pointed an accusing finger at the obviously guilty television.
"Listen you, you stupid script thing, movie whatever! Hobbits are cool! Not stupid! If I were in this story I wouldn't have made hobbits look stupid. But, err, I am not a hobbit, BUT I WOULD BE! And, errr."
Some people just stop making sense when there angry.
"So, Yeah!"
And still don't shut up.
"Yeah I do! You're just picking on me cause I'm a hobbit."
But you're not a hobbit.
"But, but…"
Of course, you shouldn't be worried until they start arguing with invisible, nonexistent narrators.
Ignoring the figment's of her imagination, she threw one more angry glance at the television and gave the television a mighty (but not enough to break anything, oh no her parents would not be happy) KICK!
PWPH!!!!
"Well, mummy always told me not to shout at the television."
Middle Earth – meet, as yet unnamed blonde person.
As yet unnamed blonde person- meet, Middle Earth.