Author's Notes: I was one of seven Chalupas that wrote this during a three-week period (the last two weeks of August and the first week of September 2001), before ER's season 8 (yuk, ick, phooey) started.
At the time, if memory serves correct, the spoilers were slim and far between but there was a tidbit about Kerry's African woman. We last left our heroines with Kerry coming out to Romano and Kim all cozy with Lori (geez, remember her?)
Because this fic was written round-robin style between seven people, there are so many inconsistencies. We were bored and we wanted to document some of our "jokes." A few parts may seem awkward. That is because some of us got all "wise-assy" at times and would end her section in this "write yourself out of this, bitch" way. So we apologize for all that. Also, after this fic was benched, none of us ever got around to copyediting it, which, erm… this desperately needs so again sorry in advance.
After 9-11, this fanfic was placed way on the back burner. This is the first installment of a series that never happened and will never be completed.
Although the whole Kim/Kerry thing is a distant light in our memories, this fic displays how seven specific Chalupas were soooo pulling for a Kim/Kerry reconciliation and reunion at the beginning of Season 8.
So for posterity's sake…
It was a cold winter night. Kerry walked through her house clutching the front of her robe attempting to block out the chill.
She gripped the terrycloth robe tightly, and sighed. Everything seemed chilly lately, especially her empty apartment. Kerry snatched a bottle of vodka from the bar top. If she couldn't get rid of the chill, maybe some Stoli could fool her for a few hours.
Kerry looked out the window at the snow falling silently past the street light onto the empty sidewalk. Empty... cold... yes, that's how her heart felt now. She opened the bottle and held it out to the lonely expanse before her, as she muttered, "Cheers, to you and your fuckin' new girlfriend."
Hot.
It was oppressively hot; Kim twisted out of the sheets and turned toward Lori. She studied her face, a hint of light from the street.
No, she was nothing at all like Kerry.
Kim quietly crept out of bed and walked over to the small credenza in the other side of the room. She reached inside the ice bucket. Between the hot room temperature and the hot sex last night, Kim was shocked to find some cubes left. Kim grabbed a few cubes and traced her profile. At least Lori also enjoyed sex with ice.
Ice, handcuffs and lube are all well and good, but the "during" sex isn't the problem with Lori. It was the before and after that left Kim feeling empty. Kim thought the "no strings attached" element of this Lori thing would be easy to deal with. But Kim realized she missed the strings. She missed Kerry.
Wild, passionate Kerry. The ghost of a smile crossed her face as she thought of how Kerry would flush and sweat. Kim was caught by surprise at the twist in her gut as she thought of how Kerry's voice lowered to a growl during sex, her eyes open and on fire.
Kim leaned her head against the cool door of her closet, lost in the memory of their time together. Looking back at Lori, she knew she needed to see Kerry tonight.
Throwing on her black turtleneck and cargo pants she walked quietly from the room.
"Hon?"
Kim was reaching toward the door, but turned quickly, feeling herself anger as the sleepy voice interrupted her thoughts and intent.
"Where are you?"
Jesus F. Christ, thought Kim, Jesus Fucking Christ! She turned quickly and glared toward the bedroom, feeling the anger rise up in her. She stopped at the door and weakened. The light reflected from the curves of the naked woman, and highlighted the softness of her silky smooth breasts. God! thought Kim, as she remembered why Lori was there.
"What are you thinking?"
The mood broken, Kim spun around and rushed again towards the door, "I've got to run out a minute for some... something I have to take care of. Now. I'll be back... later."
Kerry sat on her couch, the bottle of vodka cooling in her hand.
Kerry rolled the smooth glass between her hands, likening it to the Kim's smooth skin under her fingertips. The intoxicating liquid reminding Kerry of their shared past - a love that was an inebriating succor. As Kerry drank the liquid, the alcohol burning its way down her throat - evoking the sensation of her mouth on Kim's burning flesh.
Her throat wasn't the only place Kerry felt heat spreading. She reclined on the sofa giving in to the notion she had been fighting since meeting Nyota in Africa. Nobody made her feel as wicked, as torrid as Kim. "There..." Kerry sighed out loud as she held the cool glass to her febrile forehead, "I finally admit it. She is not Kim."
A loud knock on the door interrupted Kerry's thought...
Kerry looked at her watch. "Dammit," she grunted. Joe, the boiler repairman, was an hour early.
"Joe! You're early!" Kerry shouted as she walked to the door. "I'm going to decrease your tip because of this…" Kerry clutched the front of her robe as she opened the door.
"Hey, Kerry."
The shock from seeing Kim coupled with the cold Chicago wind, froze Kerry.
Kim, noticing Kerry's robe, bit her lip. "D-d-d-d-did I catch you at a bad time?" Please say no. Please say no.
"Kim! Uh, no. Why are you here?" Kerry could have kicked herself. That sounded rude. She suddenly felt awkward and ugly. "My hair... I must look... I wasn't expecting anyone. Not so soon."
"Kerry, you look beautiful as always," Kim smiled. "Listen, can I come in?"
"Kim, you don't have to... to say that. I, uh... yes, please. Do."
As Kerry reached to close the door, she realized that her head felt light and the room was threatening to spin around her. "Oh," she mumbled as she caught the doorknob to steady herself.
"Ker?..." Kim steadied Kerry with a hand to the small of her back.
Kerry felt rather than heard Kim's voice vibrate through her as she leaned into Kim's form. What was she doing here? All she wanted to do was kiss those beautiful lips... her body was so aware as she let her head rest on Kim.
Silence surrounded them as they held each other.
Kerry hiccupped; a gurgle of laughter reached her lips at the absurdity. Kim's eyebrow curved up as the crinkles of a vague smile reached her eyes. Kerry grew somber then, remembering the last time she had hiccupped in the presence of her former lover.
Suddenly Kerry felt tired; memories of happier times brought sadness and irritation. She stepped away from Kim.
"Why are you here?"
I'm sorry, Kerry. No, too early for that. I love you, Kerry. No, definitely too early for that.
"I wanted to see you, Kerry." Kim took a deep breath. She looked down at her hands as she took off her black leather gloves. "I had to see you, Kerry." Kim slowly looked up. She was shocked by the expression on Kerry's face.
Kerry pivoted on her feet and high-tailed her way down the hall. Kim was fast on her heels. Her shock turned to confusion as she saw Kerry walking away from her.
"Kerry. Kerry, wait! I just want to tal-"
Kerry stopped and raised her arm, her index finger stretched out in warning. "Not one more step Kim. Not now. I need..." Kerry shook her head and sighed. Slowly, she turned and saw the pained expression on Kim's face. Damn, she thought, her resolve fading.
Kerry breathed in deeply and nodded. "Alright, Kim. You can stay. Just-five minutes. Give me five minutes, then come join me." Kim blinked then, digesting the small victory. Five minutes. I can deal with five minutes. "Ok, Ker. Ok. Thank you."
Kerry turned once more and made her way to the kitchen.
"FUCK!" Kerry shouted from the kitchen.
As Kim slowly began to walk towards the kitchen, it hit her. The smell and the smoke.
"Ker, is something burning?"
"SHIT!"
As Kim made the turn into the kitchen, she saw Kerry throwing burnt muffins into the garbage can. Kim continued to walk into the kitchen as she waved her arms to dissipate the smoke.
"They're ruined," Kerry whispered, dejected.
"I'm sure some of them were savable."
"No… I can't give someone burnt muffins."
Kim walked closer to Kerry. "Oh, th-th-they were for someone?"
Kerry still focusing on the muffins began to explain, "Yeah they were for Nyo-" Kerry sighed and leaned against the counter. "Kim, what are you doing here?"
Kim's stomach sank. This is not going to be easy.
Kim thought about Kerry's question for a long moment. What *was* she doing there anyway? Less than two hours ago she was in bed with Lori, and now she stood in Kerry's kitchen...with Kerry smelling of vodka and burning some other woman's muffins.
"Kerry, I guess I...I don't know what I'm doing here." she finally managed.
"You don't know... " Kerry muttered as she tossed the burnt muffins, pan and all in the sink.
Kim tried not to look as Kerry's robe opened up mid muffin toss. "I don't," she repeated.
"Well maybe you can figure it out while I put some clothes on. Joe the boiler guy should be here soon. HE'S not getting a free show, " Kerry didn't close up her robe as she made her exit.
Kim hopped up and sat on the counter. She grabbed Kerry's vodka glass and took a long swallow. She glanced around the kitchen and remembered what she did the last time she stayed over Kerry's place. She stared at the refrigerator..."Good God, " she thought "what we DID against that refrigerator!"
Kim focused on Kerry's Rosie the Riveter magnet as she allowed her mind to flashback.
"Thanks for helping with the clean up, Kim."
"I don't cook but I do a mean clean up."
The "barriers" were starting to fall. The time fillers, "How 'bout 'em Cubs," "Will Chicago ever get their own WNBA team," "Shop talk and County gossip" discussions, were already exhausted.
It was starting to get late. It was nearing the point of either "good-byes" or "I have a book on power tooling I'd like to show you… upstairs… in my bedroom."
Kim watched Kerry as she aimlessly waked around the kitchen looking for things to put away. Kerry grabbed the half and half and walked over to the fridge.
Well, here goes nothing, Kim thought as she quickly followed Kerry.
After putting the coffee condiment away, Kerry closed the fridge and turned to find Kim 4 inches away from her.
"Oh, Hi," Kerry giggled nervously trying to avert Kim's eyes.
"Hi." Kim responded softly. She smiled as she moving her head trying to lock eyes with Kerry. "I had a really great time tonight, Ker."
Kerry sighed and bravely looked at Kim. "Me too. A really great time."
"So much so, that I don't want it to end…" Kim placed her hands against the fridge, blocking Kerry from escape, "… not yet anyway."
Kim leaned in further and waited for Kerry's response. Kim had mentioned that maybe they should take things slowly after that dinner from hell. They had talked all night and agreed on just to be more patient with each other.
Kerry tilted her head up forward as an invitation. Sure Christy was a bitch that night, but got hand it to her for the make up sex opportunity of a lifetime.
Their eyes met as Kim brought her body closer to Kerry's, pressing her against the cool metal of the refrigerator door. Kim's hair masked the light as she brought her face closer, softly kissing her lover's warm lips. Kerry's fingers, smoothing the fabric of Kim's back, trembled as the kiss deepened. She was desperate, opening herself to the feeling of this woman's body surrounding her.
The sound of their breathing; soft gasps, low moans filled the space between them.
Kerry broke the kiss, a moment of silence as they felt each other's breath. Kerry slowly moved her mouth down Kim's neck, taking the time to drive deep into her causing Kim cry out. Kerry's hand strengthened its space on the small of Kim's back pressing her against Kerry's body as her lips moved to Kim's breasts. Kerry let her breath coast over the fabric on Kim's chest finally covering one of the nipples with her mouth, sucking slowly through the fabric.
Kim let her eyes drift close and her hips danced across Kerry's groin. The space between their torsos was aflutter with hands, arms and wild electricity. Kim swore lightly as Kerry tugged one, then two buttons of her blouse open and sought out one nipple with her fingers. Kerry peered up at Kim behind a raised eyebrow. Kim had a white-knuckle grasp on the top of fridge door.
"Something bothering you?" Kerry whispered, pulling the tail of Kim's shirt out of her slacks.
"Uh, um...yeah," Kim answered in a growl. Her hands neatly covered Kerry's hands behind her and moved them to her ass. "You are deeply, profoundly bothering me." Kim jockeyed her right thigh between Kerry's and gently, but firmly, shoved Kerry again into the fridge.
Kerry inhaled sharply at the contact... all of it. The cool fridge against her back, Kim's leg between her's, Kim's fingers unbuttoning her blouse from the bottom up and Kim's mouth on her ear, her jaw line, her neck and trailing lower.
Kim's hands and mouth caught up with each other at the clasp of Kerry's bra. What bra? Kerry thought through a haze as she watched the silky garment fly across the room along with her shirt.
Finding words was getting harder for Kerry, well coherent ones anyway. "You want to take this to the bedroom? " she somehow managed.
"mmmNo..." Kim's hands dropped to the waste band of Kerry's pants.
"No?" Kerry's eyes shut tight as she heard the sound of her zipper tugged down.
"No, Kerry. Right. Here." Kim shifted slightly and kitty-cornered Kerry between the fridge and the wall.
"Here?"
Kim lifted Kerry's her arms, she placed one against the fridge and one against the wall. "You better brace yourself, Kerry..."
Kerry, never the shy one, momentarily regained her senses. "Oh no, you don't." Kerry wiggled from underneath Kim.
Kim, slightly out of breath, was caught by surprise. "Huh?"
Kerry leaned into Kim and using her as a crutch, managed to switch positions with Kim. Now, with Kim against the fridge, Kerry continued unbuttoning Kim shirt. Kerry slid Kim's shirt slowly off her shoulders and down her arms. Kerry reached up, held Kim's head in her hands and pulled Kim towards her. Kerry kissed Kim deeply. She looked even deeper into Kim's eyes and purred, "This is *my* kitchen and I call the shots." As Kim attempted to process the turn of events, Kerry deftly removed Kim's bra.
Kerry took her fingers and teasingly fluttered them down Kim's arms. She grabbed Kim's hands, placed them above Kim's head and buried her face between Kim's waiting breasts.
No use in fighting for control in Kerry's kitchen. Kim's head dipped forward to observe Kerry's activities. Kerry slid her cheek up and down the side of the soft skin of Kim's breasts, perhaps the softest skin on her body or any other body Kerry imagined. Kerry felt the skin against her cheek; she tilted her head to feel Kim's skin under her mouth. She parted her lips to feel that skin harden under the strokes of her tongue.
Kim closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the cool metal as Kerry grazed the nipple with her teeth. Kerry's hands slid down Kim's ribs, her hips and under the waist band of Kim's jeans. Kerry yanked the button fly jeans open in one tug. Her hand slid beneath the elastic band of Kim's underwear.
Kerry kissed her way back up Kim's chest, her neck, her chin, then Kerry held her mouth just a whisper away from Kim's. Kerry shifted her hand lower.
"You have no idea what you're doing to me." Kim groaned grinding against the palm of Kerry's hand.
"I know exactly what I'm doing to you," she whispered into Kim's mouth.
As Kim opened her mouth to respond, Kerry pressed her own slightly parted lips against Kim's lower one and sucked it in. Kerry began gently nibbling and pulling on Kim's lip as her tongue explored its softness from one edge of the woman's mouth to the other. At the same time, Kerry's hand began to explore Kim's other lips... her middle finger stroked gently along the part as her hand slipped lower into the woman's panties. Kerry pressed her finger slightly in between them, but only enough to discover Kim's wetness and spread it along the slit as she slowly rubbed back and forth.
"Mmmmmmmmmm," Kim moaned as she spread her legs farther apart.
"Kim..."
"Oh Kerry..."
"KIM!"
"Wha?"
"Did you come to see me or my refrigerator?" Kerry stood in the entrance of the kitchen having changed out of her robe and into an outfit more appropriate for Joe the Boilerman.
Kim casually unclenched her white-knuckle grip on the fridge and leaned against the island. "Uh...hi..."
Kerry, intrigued by the expression as well as the rapidly growing blush on Kim's face, slowly moved forward. "So, have you decided what you are doing here?" she whispered.
Kim leaned back against the counter of the island, let out a lengthy exhale and shrugged, "Nope. You figured out why you haven't asked me to leave yet?"
"Kim. Kim. Kim. What am I going to do with you?" Kerry moved another step forward.
"I don't know, you haven't asked me to leave, so what do you want to do with me?"
"No fair. You haven't answered my question yet. You can't ask me anything. So why are you here?"
Kim looked down. She hadn't really thought about what she was doing there, but Kerry wanted to know so, she just let go. Thinking she might figure it out as she went along.
"Well, Kerry, its the winter I guess..."
Kerry grinned a little. This was around the same time they started dating last year.
"...I don't know, I woke up and looked at the snow. Its the first snow of the year, " Kim continued, "..and it just reminded me of...uhm, it made me think..." Kim looked down.
"Of me?" Kerry offered.
"Of course. Well yeah of you, but more than that." Kim paused to find the right words.
Kerry chuckled quietly, "I looked out the window earlier too. Noticed the snow, and started a heavy dose of that..." she pointed at the open bottle of vodka on the bar top.
"I think I know why I came here," Kim announced.
"Yeah? Care to share?" Kerry took another stop forward.
"Sure, because the reason I came here, is the same reason you haven't asked me to leave Kerry."
"Really? Do tell then..." Kerry prompted.
"Well, when I think of how I felt last year at this time, and who I was with last year at this time... well it makes me realize that how I feel right now is not...it just isn't as good. Its not right..."
Kerry stood speechless. Kim nailed it, Kerry got it, and they both knew it.
"Kim, I..." Kerry began.
RIIIING. The sound of the doorbell interrupted Kerry. Damn. Joe the Boiler man!
"FUCK," Kim and Kerry said simultaneously.
Kerry continued, "It's Joe the Boiler Repair Man."
Kerry took another step closer and rested her head on Kim's chest, "Kim, there is so much I want to say to you."
Kim was overcome by the huge step just taken. She hugged Kerry and ran her fingers through Kerry's hair. "I know," Kim whispered back. Kim's eyes began to well up. "Me too, Ker-"
"I've missed you, Kimmie." Knowing how sensitive Kim's neck was, Kerry traced the top seam line of Kim's black turtleneck.
"Oh, Kerry." Kim tighten her hold of Kerry.
The two women stretched the next seconds for as long as they could, feeling the other's body against her own; smelling each other's familiar scent; and synchronizing their breathing pattern, before-
RIIIING.
"Fuck," they whispered simultaneously, as they shared a laugh.
"You better get that. You know you'll have to increase his tip with each minute you have him wait out there." Kim chuckled softly.
Kerry leaned back, looked into Kim's eyes and placed the piece of hair that had fallen behind Kim's ear. "Don't move. Hold all those thoughts. I'll be right back."
Kerry crutched off to let in Joe the Boiler Repair Man.
Kim leaned back and rested her elbows on the island. "Oh, I don't intend on moving anywhere. I'm staying until we say everything that needs to be said," Kim said… to the refrigerator.
Kim looked at her watch. What's taking Kerry so long? Kim began to pace in the kitchen knowing that in a few minutes, they were finally going to have the conversation that needs to happen, but has been avoided for so very long. She began her pep talk. Don't get defensive… but don't be a push over. Don't be accusatory… but stand up for yourself. Kim bit her lip. You know what the goal is. The reward. But I can't compromise myself. I can't allow…
Kerry burst into the kitchen. She had a grease smear on her face. Before Kim had a chance to ask...
"I'm sorry, Kim." Kerry brushed back her hair with the back of her hand revealing grease all over her palm. "My boiler is all fucked up. I was showing Joe what I thought the problem is. I wanted to come back up and…" Kerry looked over she shoulder when she heard loud clunking noises emanating from the basement. Kerry sighed and started to walk backwards away from Kim and back towards the basement. "…SHIT… I don't want to leave him alone down there. I like to monitor what he's doing." Another loud noise. Kerry turned and started to walk away. She looked over she shoulder at Kim and said, "… can we catch up later?" Kerry was out of Kim's view. Another loud noise was heard. "I'm sorry, Kimmie" Kerry shouted from the basement. "Give me a call later… we'll talk then."
Kim sighed and showed herself out.