The problem with getting more than you ever could have dreamed of is getting it taken away. In my case it was taken from me by the person that gave it to me in the first place. Love, a family, and forever- all taken. But that fails in comparison to losing him. Losing him was worse than a death sentence, it was a life sentence- one without him, and I had no idea if I could do it. Will the pain in my chest; worse than James' fire ever die down?
Of course I always knew I wasn't good enough for him. I knew that the first time I laid eyes on him. I just hoped he would continue to over look it. He was beautiful the very definition of the word. I am plain, nothing amazing about me. Average no where near good enough to stand beside him. He's a century old gentleman, smarter than anyone I've ever met- except maybe his father, and his face and body are flawless. There is nothing about E-Edward *ouch* that I would change if I could. Well except for the fact that he's gone.
Alice, the little psychic fairy. With spiky black hair, and a little mischievous twinkle in her eyes. My best friend, and sister gone without a word. She has more energy than anyone, human or vampire should be aloud. Her favorite past time is either shopping or Barbie Bella. How could she just be gone one day? Emmett, the constant big brother. Funny, playful, and embarrassing. The brother I never wanted and couldn't be more happy I had. Rose was always a bitch to me. But I always looked at her as a bitchy older sister who's favorite sweater you ruined. Jasper always quite. Whenever he did speak in his Southern Drawl it was always kind and well thought-out. Never a rash word or comment. I wouldn't be surprised if he never said something he regretted. Esme was the mother I never expected to need. My mother is wonderful, but it was always like I was the mother. Esme was dependable to be whatever her children needed including me. With enough love to be the mother the a small country full of children and still make everyone of them feel special and loved. Carlisle is the perfect father, wise, and strong willed. Carlisle seemed to have a answer for anything you could need to know. He has enough control to go against his very nature and save people instead of kill them. He has never tasted human blood and most likely never will.
How could 'family' just abandon family? I could have never just walked away from them. Maybe if they didn't treat me like family it wouldn't hurt so bad to lose them. If they acted as if I was disposable it wouldn't have been such an awful shock. But to be given a family and have each member leave with out a heads up is nothing short of cruel. So hear I am looking through the woods for the meadow to feel once again connected to... him. The one that broke me most. And the one I would most likely trade my soul to see once more. Hoping to feel something there, something left behind on one of our days spent there. And in truth hoping to hear his voice again.