Author's Note: This blurb was written as a mini-fill for the kink meme. Somebody wanted Ashley kissing a turian woman, and while it isn't exactly what they asked for, this is the plot bunny that popped into my head. Hope you like it!

Bottom of the Bottle

"I hate you." Ashley groaned while she lay prone and aching on the cold steel floor.

"I hate you...?" the commander prodded her mercilessly, enjoying the sorry state of the alliance officer.

"I hate you, ma'am. Oooph, aahh." Ash held onto her stomach as it turned, threatening to release its contents onto the observation deck.

"As you were, flight lieu-"

The sliding door opened, and Garrus burst in before Shepard had the chance to finish her sentence. The room was sizzling with Garrus's barely restrained rage. "Ash, I'm going to give you to the count of ten-because I like you-and then I'm going to hunt you down, gut you, and watch you bleed out like merc trash." he then turned his head to the commander and gave her a courteous nod in greeting, while his mandibles flared, "Shepard."

Shep's eyes narrowed as she stared at Garrus thoughtfully, then back at Ashley still lying on the floor though looking begrudgingly alert. She sighed heavily as she prepared herself for whatever drama was about to unfold, "Is there a particular reason you want to gut my flight lieutenant, Garrus?"

Garrus hands opened and closed reflexively, dangerously close to his side arm, "She..." he struggled to reign in his anger, an unusual occurrence for the turian, "sullied... my younger sister's purity."

"WHAT?!" Shep and Ashley yelled in shock simultaneously, Ash followed the exclamation with a muffled groan as bolting upright in surprise had further upset her temperamental stomach.

Garrus pointed at Ashley in accusation, "Last night in Purgatory, you and Vega got drunk, met a couple girls. Well, that girl you were kissing was MY TEENAGE SISTER! Who, by the way, had just barely escaped from her home planet with her life as it burned under the attack of giant god damn monsters. YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER!" Garrus had moved in on Ashley, Shepard had to use her body to forcibly stop what would had been his assault.

Shepard was losing her patience with this scene, "Garrus, stand down. Ash, is this true?"

"I'm sorry, Commander. I am not proud to admit this, but I don't remember last night."

Garrus began to bristle in response, but Shepard stared him down.

"Garrus, I am deeply sorry if I kissed your sister. I was VERY drunk on Mescal, and, honestly, I don't even like..." Shepard shot Ash a hard warning glare that practically burned a tattoo into her forehead reading "Do not mention aliens."

"...women." Ashley finished in a long suffering tone directed at her Commander. Yeah, she might have been a little xenophobic in the past, but people grow, damn.

"Well, stay the hell away from my sister, do you understand?" Garrus growled.

Ashley sat up straight, squared her shoulders in military posture, and stared the livid turian dead in the eyes, "You have my word."

"Good!" he turned and marched back out of the room, the sliding door made a hushed woosh sound as it closed behind him.

Shepard crossed her arms and stared down at Ashley without any sense of mirth as the flight lieutenant slumped back onto the floor and rest her head on the cool ground, "Really? Garrus's little sister? I hadn't realized you were suicidal. Crazy, definitely, but not suicidal."

She moaned in pain, her head throbbed, "Commander, the last thing I remember was eating a fat little worm at the bottom of a very empty bottle. I don't even remember meeting a turian, much less kissing one."

Shepard activated her omnitool, "You have twenty minutes until duty, I want you to go down into the hold and help Cortez with weapon maintenance, think you can handle that?"

Ashley garbled out a "Yeah" in response.

"I guess the next couple weeks I won't be able to take you and Garrus on missions together, I don't have the energy to keep you out of his line of fire." She shook her head at Ash disapprovingly and sighed, "Well, you know what they say, liquor makes you honest. Shame you couldn't have gone with me to help Aria out on Omega, met a turian woman who is just your type."

"Get out, skipper! I still have twenty minutes before I have to deal with your ribbing." the newly minted spectre cried out from the floor.

"ah-ah, eighteen minutes!"

"OUT!"