Title: A Father's Heartache
Rating: T
Subject: New Moon, Charlie POV
Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga and its characters are property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing in her dollhouse.
**
I looked out the window at the pale gray clouds crossing the sky. I didn't want to do this, didn't want to involve Renee, but I realized I had no choice. I couldn't get through to my daughter, didn't know how, and she needed her mother. It was tough to admit to myself I couldn't handle this alone.
I stirred the cold coffee in my hands, looking down at the design on the cup. Renee was always dragging Bella to some craft fair, and she made this for me at one they went to when Bella was nine. She had tried to paint a cactus and roadrunner on one side of the handle, writing her name in childish scrawl on the other side; it was my favorite. For a moment, I felt wistful that Renee had done those things with her, but I couldn't change the past and Bella was with me now.
Exhaling deeply, I reached for the phone on the wall and dialed the number in Florida.
**
"Hello," a male voice answered.
"Phil? It's Charlie Swan."
"Hey Charlie, what's up? Sorry the Mariners won't make the playoffs."
"Yeah, listen, Phil, I really need to talk to Renee. Is she around?"
"Sure thing. Hey babe – telephone. Everything okay?"
"Not really, need to talk to her about it."
"Charlie?" I heard her voice on the line. "What's wrong? Is it Bella?"
"Renee," I started, "I – I don't know where to start. Bella needs you."
"Charlie, you're scaring me. What's going on?"
"She's in her room," I fumbled. "I don't know – I just can't get through to her."
"CHARLIE! WHAT IS IT?" she yelled.
"Remember the boy she was seeing? Edward Cullen?"
"Yeah, we've talked about him a few times – oh no, don't tell me she's pregnant -"
"Calm down, Renee, nothing like that. His uh, his dad took a job in another city and they left day before yesterday. I don't know the whole story and Bella won't talk to me, but I'm guessing he broke up with her and it didn't go well." I paused, letting Renee catch up.
"Where is she? Let me talk to her -" she pushed.
"Calm down, Renee. She's up in her room but she won't eat or drink, won't get out of bed. I called the school and told them she'd be out a few days, but I just can't get her to come out of it, and Dr. Gerandy wants me to put her on some medication. I just don't know what to do, and I was, well, I was hoping you could come up here and -"
"Of course I'll come," she interrupted. "Let me talk to Phil and call the airline and I'll let you know when I can get there."
"Do you need me to pick up you up in Seattle?"
"No, it's fine. I'll get a rental – what Phil? Oh, he says he'll send his GPS with me so I won't get lost. I'll be fine, Charlie, and tell Bella I love her and I'll see her soon."
"Okay,"
I hated having to call her, couldn't understand why Bella was so despondent over this boy. I remember when Renee left with Bella, the day she walked out. Surely this teenage romance wasn't the same as when Renee left; we had been married for nearly three years, we had a child together. Bella had dated this guy for what, a few months? I guess after her disappearance last spring I shouldn't underestimate her feelings for him. But teenagers break up all the time; what was different here? Solving problems and cases comes naturally to me – why couldn't I help my own daughter?
It was times like this that I felt the overwhelming guilt of not having been there for Bella growing up. Would it have made a difference? Would I really understand my teenage daughter any better? So many things I should have done differently. I should have followed Renee, I should have tried harder to make her happy. I should have fought for Bella. But I was so young and naïve, and heartbroken, and angry – at myself and Renee.
Stop beating yourself up, I told myself. The past is done; what matters now is you and Renee working together to get Bella through this. I hated that I couldn't do this on my own. I could only hope that Renee would help Bella snap out of this.
I poured the coffee down the drain, sat back down at the kitchen table, and gazed out the window again.
**
Thanks for reading. This idea came to me on an overcast Sunday afternoon, after having watched part of my Twilight DVD while cooking lunch. As a parent myself, I wondered what Charlie was thinking when his little girl got her heart broken.
I love Billy Burke's portrayal of Charlie Swan. He is exactly how I pictured Charlie when reading the books, and reminds me of a friend of mine who grew up in the Seattle area.
Please leave me a review – I would love to know what you think!
XOXOXO