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Summary: When Kukai appears on their doorsteps at the crack of dawn with nothing but a tatty old map and a beaten-down camper van, his friends don't quite know what to expect from him next. Forget waiting until this latest crazy scheme of his blows over, he's up and ready to drag them on a wild road trip to God knows where right now! And they have no idea what they've let themselves in for.

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Utau wasn't quite sure where her boyfriend found so much enthusiasm.

Honestly, she thought as she sighed yet again and turned away to watch the city scenery whip past the car window; he seemed to have an endless, inexhaustible well of energy somewhere deep down inside him. She, for one, could not talk for hours on end, barely drawing for breath, and still maintain that never-ending sense of enthusiasm and thirst for life that Kukai seemed to show on a daily basis. Not that that was a bad thing, per se, but, then again…

"Kukai." she snapped, shooting the man beside her the deadliest of side glances she could muster. "If you don't shut up and keep your eyes on the road, you might as well pull over and get out - I can drive myself there just fine."

Beside her, Kukai pouted, cut off mid-sentence. "But Utau!" he whined like a dejected puppy. "Come on, babe! It's exciting stuff!"

Utau didn't exactly class a long-distance call from her brother earlier that day 'exciting stuff', but to her pure amazement, it was pretty much all Kukai had been thinking about since she'd put the phone down and yelled at him to get his ass ready to drive her to the concert hall for her show that night. Kukai and her brother had never been exactly close. Well, he tried, bless him, but Ikuto had always been more like a closed book by nature and any attempt to sidle up to him was usually shot down just as quickly as it began. That and he would constantly claim that he just 'didn't have time for any of Kukai's shit'. She was sure he wasn't serious, but whatever, all that meant was that Kukai just hadn't succeeded yet. Utau would probably have been more bewildered by her boyfriend's enthusiasm for any of Ikuto's news had she not been more preoccupied thinking about her upcoming performance. Nonetheless, he chattered on beside her more still.

"I mean, come on, it's only been six months since he left last and think of all the places he's been!" Kukai started up again, his olive green eyes alight with a dazzling new sparkle. "He's seen more countries than I have soccer matches! Doesn't make a fuss - doesn't think twice. It's second nature to him by now to just get up in the morning and go! Not looking back!" He sighed wistfully. "Man, Utau, that guy's living a good life, I can tell you that right now…"

She hummed in response, not really listening. He carried on, inspired.

"I'll bet he doesn't even know what's going to happen tomorrow. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine having that much freedom? Because I sure as hell can't and I'll tell you, Utau, it's starting to look pretty damn depressing."

"Kukai."

"You know I turned down that backpacking year before university? God, I don't know if I'd make that choice again. I don't know, babe, I was just too focused on the sport and not on…" he paused a moment, fumbling for the words. "Not on seizing the adventure! When will I ever get that chance in life again? What's that phrase - that really famous one? Come on, babe, you know the one I mean..."

"Kukai."

"Carpe diem - or something or other like that. The one about seizing the day and all of life's opportunities. I mean, what have I done since graduation?"

"Kukai."

"Sure, I've been to Seoul once or twice, but apart from that I've never been further out than Sihzuoka! Utau, there's some cool places out there! Just in Japan alone!"

"KUKAI!"

This time Kukai actually jumped so fiercely that for a moment he was worried that he was going to veer off the road, but as he steadied the steering wheel and carried on, Utau was sat beside him - spitting flames, staring daggers.

"Kukai, you've missed my turn! Pull over and I'll drive myself there!"

Kuaki's ears turned pink. He hadn't even realised. "Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry," he said meekly. "Look, look - I'm turning around. We're two minutes away, it's gonna be fine!"

"Honestly!" Utau raged in her seat. She shook her head and stared out of the window again, afraid of unleashing her full fury upon him if she so much as looked at his face. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Kukai! I don't give a fuck if Ikuto's been to five countries or fifty - right now you'll be going nowhere if you don't get me to the concert hall on time!"

"Alright, babe, I'm sorry!"

"And," Utau began, her voice deadly and low; "you'll have to deal with Yukari afterwards."

In the driver's seat, her boyfriend visibly gulped. There was no higher threat and he sure as hell knew it. If Utau was late and he was responsible... He shuddered. Concentrating now, he took the right turn on the road this time.

"Yes, ma'am."

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Tadase and Nagihiko were both worried. Pretty damned worried, actually.

"Aaaah, Utau was amazing!" Amu squealed, still caught up in the excitement of the evening. Utau's latest show was long over by now and, as it was, they were all filing out through the doors into the grand lobby area of the concert hall, but most of the audience had certainly been left on quite a high.

Except, it seemed, for Kukai.

And that was worrying. That was concerning beyond belief, as far as Tadase was concerned. The girls hadn't noticed, apparently. Amu was oblivious to most things most of the time and Rima wasn't exactly paying him much attention when she had Amu hanging off her arm the entire night. Only Tadase and Nagihiko shared those same troubled looks as they watched their friend lead the way into the bar area. He was holding himself well enough and he engaged in all conversation as usual, but something was definitely off. The spring in his step was gone and his eyes were far-off and distant...

And Tadase didn't like it at all.

"Oh, please," Rima was saying to Amu, rolling her pretty little eyes. "Leave it to Utau to be amazing."

Amu laughed lightly. She knew Rima wasn't really being rude, but Kukai always wound up pretty defensive over his girlfriend. She glanced over at him and was relieved to find that he hadn't overheard them. Still, she didn't want any slip-ups. "Come on," Amu said quickly, taking Rima by the elbow and nodding over towards the bathrooms. "We'll be right back, guys," she said. "See if you can get something to drink for the road, yeah?"

Tadase nodded and the girls were gone, heading back into the crowd. He was sure he could see Amu scolding the petite blond beside her and he chuckled fondly. But, looking back, he could see Kukai already making off towards the bar without a word, looking deep in thought. He frowned.

"Well, that does look worrying." Nagihiko sidled up beside him and finally voiced what they'd both been thinking all night. "You think he's ill?"

"Kukai?" Tadase began. "I'm not sure."

"Huh," Nagi chuckled without humour. "I was hoping you'd say yes… Because otherwise we've got a problem."

The blonde sighed. When they went over to join their friend, he half-wished that he could have joined Amu and Rima. Nagihiko seemed to be determined on interrogating Kukai and making him lay all his troubles bare before them. Which, Tadase had to admit, Nagi was very good at. He could make you spill a secret or nudge you into his way of thinking without you even realising what was going on. Knowing this, Tadase wasn't even surprised that he'd failed to notice the connection between Nagihiko and 'Nadeshiko' sooner. If Nagi wanted to keep something hidden from you, it would stay hidden. If he wanted something out of you… Well then you'd best be ready because he more often than not got what he wanted in the end. He would make a terrific detective, Tadase often thought.

Right now, Nagi was putting on that placid poker face of his and leaning up against the bar beside their friend. "So, how are you doing, Kukai?" he asked pointedly, as if they hadn't just spent the entire evening together as a group.

The blond held a breath and looked over, waiting for his response. He was mentally bracing himself. To him, Kukai looked as though he was mentally at war with himself. He his brows were slightly furrowed and he had been distracted the entire afternoon. And Tadase knew that whatever was enough to trouble Kukai was probably enough to trouble them all. He hadn't looked like this since… Well… Tadase couldn't even remember.

He decided to try and press himself; "You doing okay?"

Their usually bubbly friend shrugged. "Sure I am," he said. To be fair to him, there was no hesitation in his reply, yet still… There was something there in his tone that Tadase and Nagihiko couldn't quite place. "Why? Although, if I'm honest, I'm still a little pissed off. I almost crashed on the way here. You try driving Utau around all day when she's all angsty over this performance business. Good God." and he paused, his shoulders tensed and his teeth on edge as if he were reliving some terrible memory.

Tadase couldn't help but laugh. "She gets nervous, I get that." he said. "Still, she was great tonight. You oughta be proud."

"Don't get me wrong, I sure am!" Kukai grinned properly for the first time that night. "Would just be nice to have a bit of a breather for a while."

Nagihiko leaned across the counter and thanked the bartender for their drinks before returning back to the conversation. He was watching Kukai with that stare that made Tadase feel like he could see right through you. It was unnerving, yet damned effective.

"Oh?"

"Well…" he paused for a moment, like he couldn't find the words. He opened his mouth, as if about ready to pour his heart out to them and then closed it again, struggling to let it go. "I don't know, Nagi. I dunno, man," Kukai sighed; "don'tcha ever just wanna get away, you know? Just hop on in the car and just drive somewhere — anywhere! Just for the thrill?"

That was unexpected. Nagi frowned. Tadase had forgotten about the drink in his hand. Kukai was many things, he knew, and he knew that his friend was perhaps the most impulsive person he'd ever met… But Kukai was also full of life and energy. He had never known him to sound so desperate and defeated in all the years they'd known each other. For quite a few moments, he didn't know how to react.

"Kukai, you sound like you're having a midlife crisis, are you sure you're okay?"

He laughed at that - a loud, clear laugh - and shook his head, his shaggy brown hair flopping about in all directions. "What, like some old man? Come on, Tadase, bro. No, I just mean… Well, don't you ever feel that? Wouldn't you just be so down for that?"

There was a pause whilst Tadase considered this. "I suppose so..." He said uncertainly. "I mean, to see more of the world must be nice..."

And Kukai grinned and suddenly there was that old, familiar light in his eyes and a twinkle in his grin that somehow seemed to bring his old self back to life. "I hear that, man."

But Nagihiko still didn't look convinced. His expression grave, he placed down his glass and opened his mouth to go on, but Kukai gasped as he caught a look at the clock on the wall. He hopped down off his bar seat, in a panic.

"Crap, I'd better get out back!" Kukai tapped at his watch and gestured vaguely at the exit. "I promised Utau I'd be on the ball for a quick getaway – Sanjou's been hassling her for some job stuff or something lately. Anyway, never mind, I'll catch up with you guys later!"

And before either of them could reply, Kukai was bouncing away through the oncoming crowds and out of sight, more like his old self again than he'd been all night. Tadase laughed weakly, rubbing the back of his head. "You've gotta hand it to him, at least he's still full of life."

"Well," Nagihiko began sceptically, "I don't know what's up, but it sounds to me like he just feels… stuck."

"Stuck?" Tadase said. "I don't know, look at him over there – he's all over the place!"

Nagihiko sighed heavily, running a hand through his long hair. He could see Amu and Rima emerging from the masses over by the bathrooms. It was probably best to end this conversation now whilst they couldn't overhear.

"Kukai's always full of life." Tadase said, a fond smile twitching at the corners of his lips. "It's been a while since his last crazy scheme, it's probably just been building up."

Nagi hummed in response, though unconvinced. The blond beside him shook his head.

"I'll call him tomorrow." Tadase resigned. "We can't have Kukai of all people with a midlife crisis."

"I suppose." Nagi said and it seemed that that was that. Rima and Amu had reached them, chatting animatedly about the night's performance and whether or not they'd get to sneak backstage and congratulate Utau and the group made to head off. Once the girls were in step in front of them, Tadase looked over and gave him a reassuring smile. It couldn't have been as disastrous as Nagihiko thought.

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Or, at least, that's what Tadase had hoped. That's what Tadase had been counting on right up until that moment at precisely six o'clock the next morning when he found himself startled awake by the most unbearable, high-pitched, honking sound he'd ever heard.

He lifted his head from his pillow heavily and let out the most exasperated, uncharacteristic groan. Tadase was not a morning person. At least not before eight. Or coffee. And so he heaved himself out of bed in a daze, pulling down his bunched up t-shirt, and plodded over to the window where the deafening clamour was still sounding, irregular and piercing. He brushed back the curtains and cast his eyes over to the garage, thinking that a car alarm was sounding.

"Yo! Tadase!"

His stomach dropped. He swallowed thickly.

"Souma?"

And sure enough, Kukai was stood on the path outside, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, waving up at the window and beaming–

"You still in?"

And he was stood beside the ugliest, most battered looking camper van Tadase had ever seen.

"If we leave by seven, we can still miss the traffic!"

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A/N: Well, what can I say. I love Kukai and his personality so much. His thirst for life, his positive attitude… Seriously, everybody needs a Kukai in their life. So here, have more of him. This chapters feels so wishy-washy to me. My writing's been suffering lately, but I've had this idea for so many, many years, I just needed to do something with it!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy ^^