They were stuck, for the moment. John could already feel the tension rising in Rodney's shoulders as he shifted beside him in the transporter.
"What do you mean two hours?!" Rodney squawked angrily into his earpiece. "All you need to do is re-route the power from one of the other transporters, to this one – it should only take ten minutes! Max! Two for me."
John heard Zelenka's faint muffled burbling come from the radio for a few moments before Rodney let out a frustrated huff.
"Would you like me to walk you through it? I'm sure it would get done faster," he bit. The burbling on the other end got more frustrated and a little louder before Rodney hissed, "Zelenka? Zelenka! I can't believe it! He blocked me out!"
John rolled his eyes and finally asked, "What's going on McKay?"
"Power conduit's blown, this whole section of the city is out," he explained, irritated. John stared at the door in front of him as he realized just how small the area of the transporter truly was. You didn't really notice how constricting it was when you were only in it for a moment before you carried on in a different part of the city.
"Didn't you fix this problem after Carter and Zelenka got trapped in that transporter during the quarantine?" John asked turning to his friend. The small shift shortened amount of space between them further.
"In a quarantine situation yes I put failsafes in place so that would never happen again," the doctor's voice was beginning to sound more on the agitated side rather than just irritated now. "This situation however is completely different. The transporter isn't cut off from the city by any sort of protocol – it's actually physically disconnected from it, computers, power - everything. There is no way for the failsafe to engage if there isn't even any power to open the doors."
John nodded once in understanding. By the end of the explanation, Rodney's words had just been tumbling out of his mouth as his hands began to work actively in front of him in the slim space between them. Even when he stopped talking the knot that had fit itself between his eyebrows refused to unfurl. John recognized the nervousness running through his body immediately.
"Hey Rodney, buddy, are you okay?"
"No! I am not okay!" The scientist's mouth fixed itself in a worried slanted stance. "I'm stuck here in this tiny closet for god knows how long while my freedom and repair of the city is left in the hands of- of a pigeon lover!"
John had to fight to bite back the chuckle that rose in his throat at pigeon lover. Rodney was freaked out enough, John knew the last thing he'd need would be to think that John was laughing at him. He'd seen McKay's claustrophobia before and although he could shove it to the back of his mind in a life and death situation, right now he had no such distraction. And John could see the circumstances hitting Rodney at full force. Worry stirred in his stomach.
"And I mean who knows what could happen while we're stuck in here. The Wraith could attack! A whole fleet of hive ships could come out of nowhere and- and launch a surprise attack and then I won't be there to fix the shield if it malfunctions and they could blow a hole in the city and we could be stuck here for- for weeks! With no food. Oh god I was going to put a few power bars in my pockets before we left the mess – I should have before-"
John could see the anxiety take a hold of Rodney completely as his hands shook and colour flushed his face. Automatically, John grabbed a hold of Rodney's forearms to still his hands, trying to ignore the feeling of his tense muscles beneath the jacket.
"Rodney, calm down," John said sternly but not angrily. "Do I need to remind you that most of the Wraith have been neutralized? I don't think there are even enough Hive ships left to make a fleet. Not to mention that we have two ZPMs now, more than enough to keep the shield running for a while and that you made the shield command easily accessible so that 'most idiots' could initialize it if you weren't there?" John's reminders seemed to calm Rodney down a bit. His muscles weren't as tense and his face was beginning to return to a more natural shade.
"Right. Of course," Rodney said thinly. The knot between his eyes still remained and his breathing was accelerated as his eyes darted around the small room. Something else then.
"Alright close your eyes," John directed, remembering how he got Rodney to calm down enough to meditate when they thought they were going to lose him thanks to that wacked out ascension machine… John shook the memory and focused on the Rodney that was here and now.
"What? Why?!" Rodney exclaimed, confused.
"Just do it," John ordered. With a huff Rodney complied.
"This doesn't exactly help you know, I still know where I am," the genius pointed out. John ignored him.
"Do you remember when I taught you to meditate?"
"When I almost died?" Rodney's eyes flew open again. John knew it was meant as a jab but the shaking in Rodney's voice only showed his fear.
"Yeah but you didn't die then and you're not going anywhere now so just shut your eyes and focus on your breathing," John made his voice stern but still soft. He wasn't used to comforting people. Usually a good shout at Rodney to remind him of the danger and lives at risk was enough to get him to focus on what was important, but now there was none of that to hang onto.
"Okay, okay," the scientist replied, again sliding his eyes shut. John tried to think back to what Rodney thought of the last time he meditated.
"Imagine you're in a wide open field," John began again.
"W-what kind of field," Rodney stammered nervously, "because I'm- I'm allergic it a lot of wild flowers and-"
"There's no talking in this remember?" the colonial reminded him.
"Right, right of course. Open field."
"Breathe. In and out. In and out." Finally Rodney did as he said and there was a blissful moment of silence.
"When you look up you see the sky. Bright blue, no clouds, sun shining…"
Without the task of trying to shut Rodney up John actually had a moment to observe him instead. John's hands were still wrapped around Rodney's forearms and he hadn't even noticed. Slowly he unhinged his fingers and let his friend's arms drop down. The only sound in the small space was the whooshing of Rodney's slowing breaths and his occasional murmuring of "Blue skies… Nothing but blue skies."
John found his eyes wandering from the tuft of hair that was sticking up at the top of Rodney's head to the subtle lines in his forehead. They weren't there when they began the mission, John noted. There were even the beginnings of crow's feet around his eyes that creased when his eyebrows occasionally jerked with the murmuring. When his lips weren't moving they sat in his trademark slash. John always thought Rodney's mouth had such character. It finished off his grumpy face perfectly but it also shaped into the most joyful smiles that could make John's knees go weak.
He usually shot thoughts like that out of his mind as quickly as they came, but for now it was just them and Rodney seemed to be far away in his little meditative state so for once outside his own room he'd let his thoughts free. He found himself smiling thinking about their nights on the pier or movie nights and the way Rodney's laugher could carry across the sea when he relaxed with a beer in his hand.
Suddenly Rodney jerked out of his peaceful state again.
"Look this isn't working! Every time I get as far as the skies a Wraith dart-"
John had had quite enough but before he realized what was happening Rodney was cut off. It took him another moment to realize that he'd been cut off by John's own mouth capping his soundly.
And oh god it was so much better than just the silence. John let go all his losses, it was done, now Rodney knew, he might as well show him how far his feelings really went. His hands flew to Rodney's face and neck as he felt the lopsided line of his mouth through his lips. He knew Rodney's eyes would be wide but his own eyes were shut tight as he poured all he had and all he felt into the kiss.
He let Rodney know how it had felt to pine after him for years, he shared the pain of seeing Rodney with his girlfriends, seeing him look at every attractive woman with the same gaze John had always wished would be turned to him. He pressed the blissful vertigo he felt in the moments where Rodney was in the lab yelling at Zelenka, debunking fake science on movie nights, complaining about inadequate safety protocols on other worlds, just being so Rodney that it forced him to pause and watch him, against the other's lips with fervour.
Then he just kissed as if it were the last kiss he'd ever give. And for John he thought it might be, because he knew he would never love another like he loved Rodney. And if he could never kiss like this again, what would be the point?
Just has John was sure he'd finished pouring every once of himself out, Rodney began to kiss back, and with just as much feeling as John had been kissing him.
Rodney's thoughts of his own pining then supressing his feelings and trying to move on, the sure thoughts that John would never want this with him keeping him steady, the girlfriends that would never measure up to John's snark and bravery, with the overpowering message of WHY DID YOU NOT SAY SOMETHING BEFORE all translated through his own kiss. Soon enough the hidden messages were lost in the need to just be as close to each other as possible and make up for all the years of lost time.
Then there was a noise in John's ear. What was that, a bug?
Reality came crashing into his head like a tsunami. It was Zelenka over the radio.
"Colonial? Colonial Sheppard are you there? Come in please."
He jumped back from Rodney with a heavy breath before his hand flew to his ear. Rodney was trying to drag him back before he responded to the call.
"Radek?"
Rodney jumped back as if Zelenka had actually walked in on them. His eyes were wide with fear before he realized Zelenka couldn't actually know what they had just been doing.
"Ah Colonial Sheppard. For a moment there I thought our communications had gone down as well."
"No we're still here," John said still getting his thoughts in order. "Did you restore enough power to open the doors?"
"Unfortunately not yet although we are working on it. But it occurred to me. The base isn't lockdown so the transporter doors shouldn't have locked, only closed. Did you try pushing them open?"
John sighed and let his eyes close.
"We'll give it a shot, thanks Radek. Sheppard out," he said cutting the channel so he didn't have to hear whatever Radek had to say next.
"What is it?" Rodney questioned, "have they restored power?" He seemed to have remembered their current predicament.
"Not yet," John replied dismissively as he braced himself against one of the doors ready to push.
"Help me out here would you?" It took Rodney a moment to realize what John was doing before letting his shoulders drop and muttering a frustrated "of course" under his breath. Then he grabbed the other door.
"On the count of three," John began, "One. Two… Three!"
With a few grunts the two men pushed as hard as they could and the doors opened with minimal effort. Rodney nearly fell out of the transporter while John exited in a few disappointed steps.
"Well," he sighed, "next time we will be sure to try that first…"
"John." Rodney said beside him. John stopped walking and looked to his right where Rodney was lingering by his shoulder.
Without another word Rodney leaned in and pressed a chaste but lingering kiss on John's lips. When he pulled back a perfect smile sat on his lopsided lips. John's eyes brightened.
"Now," Rodney said breaking the spell. "I better get down to that power conduit before Zelenka and his monkeys screw it up beyond repair. I'll have this fixed in twenty minutes," he bragged walking down the corridor in front of John.
"Well when you're done, I'll be in my quarters. If you I don't know, wanted to talk or something. Or umm not you know…" John was a beat away from rambling.
Rodney glanced back at him, mischief in his eyes.
"Twenty minutes Colonial."
And if it was closer to thirty minutes, John didn't say anything. They had already wasted enough time to spend it talking, although they did talk eventually. But every moment together after that was even better than the last, even the ones spent just talking because now they were together and there was no more time wasted on hiding.