"Jude, what are you doing?"
"I can swim, Callie! I don't need you to watch me. And I'm not afraid of the water because it's dark, I'm not a baby!"
"I know that."
"Then stop treating me like one. I'm thirteen. And everyone keeps treating me like a kid because you do! You know what? Just get out of my way, and leave me alone."
Jude waded past Callie out of the water, leaving her with a dejected look on her face. She looked down at her reflection in the water and splashed it away, taking a deep breath in and pulling herself out of the water as well. While she watched Jude walk away she felt tears prick at her eyes.
Callie turned around, looking for something to distract her from the tears falling and her heartbeat rising. Stef rounded the corner and Callie felt her instincts betray her as soon as they made eye contact when the tears came pouring down her face.
Stef rushed over to her daughter, immediately looking around her in an attempt to spot danger. When she found nothing she stopped at Callie and placed her hands on the side of her face.
"Callie, what happened my love?" Stef asked as she wiped away tears falling down Callie's face.
Callie gave no response but jagged breathing.
Stef reached down and held Callie's hands, leading her away a few yards to a bench out of sight of the main clearing. She maintained eye contact with Callie as she spoke to her. "Ok baby, deep breaths. Keep calm with me, take some deep breaths. It's ok, you're ok."
After a few minutes Callie seemed to regain some composure as she took many deep breaths. Stef squeezed her hands once more and Callie crumpled into her, losing control again.
Stef immediately wrapped her arms around Callie, but couldn't help wondering what had prompted her usually strong willed daughter to fall apart like this. "Callie, Callie, baby it's ok. Honey please tell me what's wrong."
"Ju-Jude." Callie choked out causing Stef to immediately pull Callie away from herself.
"Jude? Callie, is he ok is he hurt?"
Callie shook her head and Stef took a breath of relief, and waited patiently for Callie to continue.
"He's so angry at me."
"Jude is? Why would he be angry at you bug?"
Callie scuffed her feet on the ground at Stef's response. "Why would he be angry right? I mean all I've ever done for him are good things. That's what you would say, right?" She said looking up at Stef.
"Honey, of course that's what I would say because it's the truth. You know what you've given up for him."
"Well he sure seemed to forget easy just before." Callie let go of Stef's hands and shook her head. "He was right anyway, he doesn't need me anymore. I'm not doing him any good now."
Stef grabbed Callie's hands back. "Don't say that Callie, you know Jude needs you. He's always going to need you. And you're always going to need him."
"Stef he said it himself, he's not a kid anymore. And –" Callie stopped mid sentence and took a deep breath.
"And what, baby?"
Callie looked Stef in the eyes. "And I'm scared that I don't know how to be his sister without feeling like I have to protect his life at the same time. I'm scared I'm keeping him down in this tunnel of anxiety I can't let go of."
Stef took a moment to process what Callie had just said. She was blown away with how much Callie had just revealed to her, but also saddened she still felt that way. "Callie, Jude is safe now. You understand that right?"
Callie nodded her head. "I know. Jude is safe and out of the system, but I'm not. And after everything we've been through it's hard for me to remember that. I just – I just want him to know all the little things he needs to watch out for in case the time comes when I'm not here to teach him anymore."
"Callie you might not be an Adams-Foster on paper but you are one in your heart and in all of ours. And the heart is what makes up this family. There is never going to be a time when you aren't around to teach Jude things. Just like there is never going to be a time where I won't be around, or Mama. We're a family. We stick together. And no one can tear that apart, no matter what they try."
Callie looked down at her hands until Stef spoke again. "Ok, my love?"
"I know Jude is thirteen now, and I know he doesn't want to be babied. But I was thirteen too. And I remember what it was like. I was scared, and I barely knew anything. But I had to pretend like I did. I don't want Jude to pretend like he does. I only want to help him out." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I only ever want to help him out."
Before she knew it Callie's face was flush with tears again and this time Stef pulled her back into her arms, rocking her side to side. "Oh baby, my sweet, sweet baby. You give him so much more than he will ever know. And I know it hurts when you care so much and you feel like nothing comes from it. But you have to know that deep down the people we do so much for wouldn't be the same without us. And sometimes to sit back and watch the ones we love shine is enough to know you did the right thing."
Callie kept her eyes shut but warmed herself into Stef's embrace. Stef continued on. "My love you are so strong. And you have kept it together for the both of you for so long. But you don't need to anymore. We are here for Jude. And we are here for you too."
"I'm always going to want to protect him though." Callie finally said.
Stef smiled softly. "You will be able to. And it's kind of your job as a big sister. But we just have to remember the separation between how you used to protect him and how to protect him now. We know that Jude is physically and mentally safe. But it's ok to let him take the fall for little mistakes and learn from them. Jude not listening to advice to put on insect repellent? Well that's just him asking to wear Mama's no itch gloves that she made Jesus wear when he was seven for a whole week."
That comment drew out a laugh from Callie who tried to picture it.
"Baby this is the time for you to let go. You're always going to be there for him. But you need someone there for you too. And as your Mom," Stef emphasized that word, "It's my job to be there for you. Through all the good and the bad, all the laughs and the twerks."
Callie snorted and tried not to cackle at Stef's lame joke. She nodded, smiling now. "I know you're here for me. And I know that I need you here for me. I promise I'll let you be here for me more if you promise to never say the word twerk again."
Stef laughed. "Ok, ok cheeky. I think I can manage that." She wrapped her arms around Callie tighter. "I love you bug."
Callie grasped Stef's hands. "I love you too. It's not always easy for me to reach out. But I was thinking about what you said to me a while back. We are a lot alike. To have you know me so well is something I am holding to tight."
Stef smiled, happy in her heart that at least one of her kids held so much trust in her. "Well you better be ready to hold onto it forever. Because I'm not letting go until after that."