No author's note can even begin to explain what you are about to read. Have fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Seriously, I am not claiming rights to any of them. Any of them.
It was one of those normal days in Ponyville; the main weathermare was slacking off, Sugercube Corner was bustling with activity, Carousel Boutique was standing tall in all its magnificent glory, and a random, unforeseen threat was sure to be on the horizon. Ponyville didn't seem to have the best of luck when it came to trouble and chaos in the land. It seemed the small town was a magnet for these issues.
Whether or not this magnetic tendency had anything to do with the resident Princess Twilight Sparkle, had yet to be determined, but it seemed too coincidental an event to be ignored. However, it didn't seem that the residents of Ponyville minded much.
The library's door was thrust aside suddenly in a cloud of magic, an alicorn prancing into the outside world, her saddlebag crammed to the brim with papers, scrolls, and books. Humming a tune with a large smile on her snout, Princess Twilight Sparkle continued her trek across the peaceful town, her best friend and messenger between herself and Celestia quickly on her heels.
"First we'll have to stop by the post office and drop off those letters to Shining Armor," Spike said, flipping through an organized list in his claws. "I still don't see why I can't just send 'em."
"Because, Spike," Twilight started, looking back to her trailing friend, "At the point your fire is at right now, you can only send letters to Celestia."
"Boy do I know that," he muttered. "Ever since you got those wings you've been writing her nearly nonstop!"
Twilight blushed slightly, looking away. "Well, it's all pretty new to me. There's so many questions to ask!"
Their conversation was cut short by their arrival at the post office. A derpy eyed mailmare cheerily greeted them on their way in, before flying off into the sky, mailbags bursting with messages from all kinds.
Waiting patiently in the short line, the alicorn mare silently observed those around her. The residents of ponyville had quickly grown accustomed to their librarian's new wings. In fact, none of them seemed to treat her any differently. Twilight considered this a blessing. She wasn't quite sure how she could cope with the whole town treating her like royalty!
The colt in front of her moving aside, Twilight trotted to the front desk, the letters already encompassed in a pinkish glow. Before she could speak, however, a rumble shook the foundations of the small building. The occupants glanced around, wondering if panic was yet an appropriate reaction.
Twilight slowly lowered the letters back into her saddlebag, sighing internally. It sounded like her schedule for today was about to be rudely interrupted.
Sure enough, a louder, much stronger rumble shook the ground, sending several ponies to their stomachs. The well-known panic frequently practiced in Ponyville quickly took hold as a stampede of hooves crashed outside, indicating the panicked frenzy outside. The post office joined suit and Twilight sighed long-sufferingly. It was going to be another one of those days...
Stepping outside, she was only partially surprised by the billowing shadows encompassing the surrounding sky, shrouding the town in darkness. A maniacal laugh echoed from above as a figure descended with a flash of lightning.
"FEAR ME, EQUESTRIA!" it bellowed, the silhouette of draconic wings atop a ponyesque figure appearing against another flash of lightning.
Twilight's expression turned annoyed and exasperated. "Are you kidding me?"
"I AM SHADOW WING," it announced, crashing to the ground with a thud. Shadow Wing appeared to be taller than Celestia, with a crooked horn akin to Chrysalis, and the billowing mane and tale not unlike Luna's.
"Okay stop."
He cackled once more, raising his horn to the sky and summoning a bolt of lightning down from the heavens which -
"No, seriously, stop."
...
Wait. You mean me?
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yes, you. This is ridiculous. Is that your character?"
Umm, maybe?
"Well, he's terrible."
"HEY!" Shadow Wing protested.
But you've hardly seen what he can do, Twi!
"I don't have to," the alicorn went on. "The fact that you described him using elements of other characters was your first mistake. What next? He's the lost, seventh element of harmony and we must redeem him in order to restore peace to Equestria?"
Uhh, well, not exactly. You are close though.
"You're reworking the plot as we speak, aren't you?" Twilight deadpanned.
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. Besides, I'm the author. I can do what I want.
"That doesn't excuse poor characterization."
Can...can we just get back to the story? Just go with it, it'll be awesome. Trust me.
Twilight sighed, but nonetheless agreed to go on with the ridiculousness surrounding her.
So as it was, darkness clouded ponyville, the shrieks of its citizens echoing across the countryside as lightning bolt after lightning bolt crashed to the ground. Shadow Wing cackled once more as he hovered over a pair of pegasi cowering under his hooves. He opened his mouth, intending to smother them in flames, but was rudely interrupted by another pony crashing into his side.
Shadow Wing crashed to the ground, his previously captive victims bounding away and screaming. A ray of light broke through the clouds above, casting a single aura around a stark white pony, tiny in comparison to the bigger alicorn...thing.
This tiny pony opened her eyes, shining golden, white light across the land before it faded to reveal blue eyes sharper than any hawk. A beautiful golden mane, the likes of which would have Rarity swooning, adorned her head, nearly hiding her horn. She took a step forward towards the creature on the ground, flaring out wings the size of which her tiny body should not have been able to support.
"Stand down, vile scum," she spoke, her voice heavenly and lilting.
On the edge of the battlefield, Twilight slammed her hoof into her face, muttering something incoherent under her breath.
Shadow Wing pushed himself to his hooves again, growling. "A creature like you is no match for one of power like me!"
The pony to whom he spoke raised an eyebrow, unconcerned. In the distance, several colts swooned at her beauty.
"You know not my name, rat," she warned, eyes flashing.
"Do tell," Shadow Wing cooed.
Closing her eyes, the pony stepped forward again. "I am Pony Seven," she announced, her eyes snapped open, glowing brighter than the sun. "Element of Purity and Power!"
"You have got to be joking," Twilight deadpanned, but was unheard by the dueling ponies in the middle of town.
Shadow Wing suddenly recoiled, darkness about him swirling worriedly. "There are only six elements! And they all reside here!"
"Your information is flawed, Shadow Wing," Seven declared, slamming a hoof into the ground. At once, a golden light shone around her, twisting and molding around her.
When it faded, it revealed an armored Pony Seven, a necklace around her neck with a gemstone the shape of an infinity symbol embedded in the center. She reared up, slamming her tiny hooves into the ground.
Suddenly, the ground cracked open, white light shining out from beneath. The dark clouds above were chased away by the light and Shadow Wing screeched in fury, eyes white with rage.
"Please, stop," Twilight pleaded with a groan, but still going unheard.
"WELL MAKE ME HEARD THEN," she interrupted rudely.
Wait.
I didn't write that.
"Of course you didn't," Twilight heaved, horn glowing with color and shrouding her in a purple aura. "I did."
But...but you can't do that! I'M the author! YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE OVER!
"Why not?" the alicorn asked, much more at ease with the story temporarily in her control.
BECAUSE IT'S MINE.
"Well, you're doing a bad job."
I AM NOT.
"Seriously?" Twilight chuckled with an eye roll. "For one, Shadow Wing is completely overpowered and is a mess of a conglomeration of other powerful characters in Equestria. Not to mention you never gave him a reason for attacking Ponyville."
I WAS GETTING TO THAT.
"Sure you were. Now, second, this 'Pony Seven' is also overpowered, not to mention downright gorgeous to every colt and stallion in Ponyville. I'd wager, if given the chance, you'd have written all the mares and filles off as jealous of her beauty."
I...well, that may or may not have been in the plan.
"Third, where are the rest of the Elements of Harmony, anyway? I'll admit, you didn't have Shadow Wing or Seven defeat them, but I'm pretty sure you would've had you been given the chance."
What and you think you could write a better story?!
"I could," Twilight said agreeably. "But this one just isn't salvageable."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T SALVAGEABLE?
"I mean it's far too gone for me to do anything with it. Oh, by the way, what's Shadow Wing and Pony Seven's tragic backstories? I'm just dying to know."
Are you mocking me? I think you're mocking me. I feel mocked, right now.
"Y'know," Twilight began, a new thought striking her mind. "There might be a few ponies who could fix this story up..."
Really?! I mean, uh, it doesn't need any fixing! It's great the way it is!
"In fact, I know a trio of ponies!"
Well, my story is great the way it-
Did you say trio?
In the far distance, a cry sounded across the land, heard by all and striking fear into the hearts of every living being within a three hundred mile radius.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FANFIC WRITERS YAY!"
Oh, dear Celestia, no.
I'm taking control of the author's notes before this goes completely to chaos.
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