Claimed
Matt paced around Doc's office, too anxious to sit or even to drink the coffee he'd offered him before going into the back room to examine Kitty. "What's taking so long?" he muttered, even though he knew it had only been a few minutes since he'd carried a half-conscious Kitty from the Long Branch, kicked open Doc's door, and gently deposited her in bed. With a snort of frustration, he finally came to a stop and rested one hip against the open desk so Doc wouldn't give him a bad time about wearing a hole in the floor when he finally came out.
He wondered if it had been some female thing that had caused Kitty to faint at the door of the Long Branch. He didn't know much about women, as she was fond of telling him, but he knew Kitty, and she wasn't one of those girls that fainted at the drop of a hat. Not even when he was shot, and that hadn't happened in months. There was nothing else wrong, so far as he knew. He'd been gone nearly a month this time, and Chester had told him when he rode in that the town had been pretty quiet the whole time. So he decided to catch up on his work later, cleaned up a little bit, and then went over to see Kitty. He'd been standing at the doors, looking the place over, when Kitty turned her head and caught him looking at her. She gave him one of her eye-smiles and then got up and headed in his direction, presumably to meet him at the door. He had just stepped through when her face turned white and she started to fall backward. He caught her around the waist with one arm just in time, then lifted her against his chest and without a word to anyone headed straight to Doc's. Ever the lawman, he'd glanced around Front Street but saw no one who didn't belong or anything else that might have upset or scared Kitty enough to cause her to faint. Therefore, he concluded, she must be sick. If Doc didn't come out and talk to him soon, he might just have to go in there.
"You aren't fooling me a bit." Doc had finally come back out, interrupting his thoughts. "I heard you walking around out here."
"How is she, Doc?" Matt stood, pulling off his hat and running a hand nervously through his hair.
"She's going to be all right," Doc said quietly, not quite looking Matt in the eye. This didn't go unnoticed by the big marshal. He stared at the doctor like a gunman who had just called him out.
"What's wrong with her, Doc?" he persisted.
Doc swiped at his mustache, a sure sign he was uncomfortable about something. "She'll be all right," he said finally, with a nod, as though he was trying to convince himself as much as Matt.
"Yeah, you said that," Matt responded impatiently. "What is it?"
"She can tell you." Doc nodded at the closed door, adding, "If she wants to."
"Come in," Kitty said quietly when she heard the light tap on the door that had to be Matt. She glanced over briefly to see him fill the doorway, then let her eyes drop to the hands clasped together nervously in her lap.
Matt sat awkwardly in the chair next to the bed. Like Doc, she wasn't looking at him either, and that had him even more worried. "Kitty, how are you feeling?"
Kitty shrugged and studied her fingernails intently. "I'm okay. Doc said-"
"-that you're going to be all right," Matt finished for her. "I heard." Kitty pressed her full lips together in something resembling a pout. "Want to talk about it?"
"Doc offered to tell you," Kitty began. She sensed him looking at her, but she still couldn't meet his eyes. "Doc makes a lot of assumptions sometimes."
"Well, someone had better tell me what's going on, because neither one of you is making much sense!" Matt barked. Almost immediately, he silently cursed himself when he saw the stunned look on Kitty's face. Even worse, she closed her eyes and bowed her head as she shut him out completely. A tiny sob escaped her lips and tears began trickling from each eye. Matt couldn't believe what he'd just done. He'd never raised his voice to a female in his life, until today, and to Kitty, of all people. And worst of all, he made her cry when she wasn't feeling well. Even though Doc said she'd be all right, it was obvious from the way they were both acting that something was wrong. He felt more ashamed of his behavior by the second. After all, whatever it was, was Kitty's business. She didn't owe him any explanations.
Matt left the chair and sat on the edge of the bed, facing Kitty. He wanted to pull her into his arms but thought better of it, considering how she must feel about him now. He placed one large hand gently on each shoulder, giving her plenty of space. "Kitty, I'm sorry. I had no right to talk to you that way, ever. I'm just worried about you, that's all."
Kitty nodded without raising her head. "I know," she whispered.
"It just scared me, seeing you faint like that. Still, that's no excuse."
The barest hint of a smile crossed her face. "I guess that was pretty dramatic, wasn't it?" She chuckled weakly.
"Yeah." Matt nodded. "Kitty, you know you can tell me anything, right? I'm not trying to pry, but if you want to talk I'll listen."
"Oh, Matt," she sighed, leaning her head against his chest and wrapping her arms around him. He thought maybe she would say something more or start crying for real, but she did neither. He moved one hand to her waist and lightly rubbed her back up and down with the other. Matt was somewhat intimidated at having so much femininity in his arms. It felt right, like she belonged there, but at the same time he felt awkward and ill at ease when faced with a female with a problem.
Being in Matt's arms was so comforting, but she still couldn't bring herself to look at him. It wasn't that she was ashamed, at least she didn't think so. Matt was one of the few people whose opinion she truly valued. He'd never made her feel less than because of her occupation, or acted embarrassed to be seen with her in and more importantly out of the Long , he'd told her from the beginning he had no right to be involved with any woman; it wasn't fair to her for the badge to always come first, and she believed him. That is, she believed that he believed it. She hadn't argued with him, anyway, even though she thought he enjoyed his freedom and didn't want to be tied down. She'd spent enough time with him to know he was attracted to her and didn't take it personally… much. Now, the moment she'd been dreading for weeks had arrived. It was time to start talking.
"Matt," she hesitated. "I-I have to leave Dodge."
"Why?" What did that have to do with whatever Doc found out?
Kitty sighed deeply. Would the man never learn about women? She wasn't embarrassed to say the words, she just wasn't ready to. As soon as she said it, it became real. "I just do." Maybe it would be better, for him, if he didn't know. It wasn't her own reputation she was worried about, it was his. Too many people thought they were a couple. If she stayed, too many people would think he had abandoned her to raise a- Without warning, her stomach lurched and she put one hand over her mouth, uttering a strangled moan.
"Kitty?" Matt was about to call for Doc, but there didn't appear to be time. He reached over to the nightstand next to the bed and fumbled with the top drawer, pulling out the basin he knew from personal experience would be there and getting it in place with seconds to spare. He stood by helplessly as Kitty retched into the pan he was holding, and suddenly all the pieces fell into place. "Oh, Kitty," he murmured.
Afterward he set the basin aside and brought her a glass of water. "I'm sorry," Kitty said tearfully as he wiped her face with a damp cloth.
"No, I'm sorry. I should have figured out what you and Doc weren't telling me sooner than I did." He took her arms and drew her toward him and once again she leaned into the comfort of his solid chest. "Who-whose it's it?" he asked bluntly. Despite his stance on marriage and the law, he wanted Kitty, holding back only because of the kind of life he had to offer her. Now he saw the chance he should have taken slipping away from him, even as he planned to have a visit with the father in order to make sure he did right by Kitty.
"He's nobody, Matt. Just a business transaction." He felt her shoulders hitch a little when she said it. "Just passing through," she added, as if sensing his intentions. "But thanks for not asking if I knew who the father was."
"I would never ask you that." He bent his head down and gently kissed the top of her head. "So how long….when…?"
"I suppose I've suspected it for about a month, but I've been pushing it out of my mind-until now."
"Don't go." He supposed he'd known it for awhile, so the realization that he couldn't live without this woman came as no real surprise to him.
"Matt, I have to. You know that."
"Maybe-what if you don't?"
"Now who's not talking sense?"
"Why not? I want you to stay. I-I want you to be with me."
Kitty rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed at what she thought he meant.
"Not just you, Kitty. The baby too. If you marry me, I'll be its father."
She thought he was offering out of pity, and it was more than she could stand. She had a tendency to lash out when she was hurt, but she supressed it, knowing he was only trying to be decent. She couldn't help allowing a little sarcasm to slip out, though.
"Since when do the duties of a U.S. Marshal include marrying girls in trouble?"
"Since-all right, they don't. I wouldn't marry just any girl, Kitty, you know that."
"How would I know that? The last I knew, you weren't about to marry any girl at all." Kitty finally looked him straight in the eye, and he was relieved to see her usual spirit, even if that meant she was being stubborn as hell about this.
"Kitty, you know I'm no good with words. What's it going to take to convince you I'm serious?"
"Well, you could ask me."
"I just did."
"No, you said you'd marry me. That's not asking." He remembered the last time the topic of marriage had come up between them. "What's the matter, you scared?" she'd asked him with amusement. He'd laughed her off and bought her a drink that time. This was no laughing matter, and no time to be scared. It was time to act.
Without any hesitation, Matt dropped to one knee next to the bed and reached for her hand. "Kitty, I haven't got any idea how to propose marriage. All I know is I don't even want to think about going the rest of my life without you there. Will you marry me?"
The two not-quite lovers stared silently into each other's eyes after Matt's proposal. As much as she loved and wanted him, and what he was now offering, Kitty still needed some time to think this through. She had been in love with Matt almost from the first time she'd seen him eating breakfast that first day. The knowledge that Matt's job, in his eyes at least, meant they could never be more than friends, had been a cruel disappointment, although she hadn't been able to let go of the hope he would change his mind one day. Finding herself carrying the child of some drifter whose name she couldn't even remember had meant that Matt was lost to her forever. Now the man who had avoided permanent relationships claimed to want not just her but the baby. Yet he hadn't said he loved her. Matt looked at her earnestly, patiently waiting for her decision, and brushed the backs of his fingers along her jawline.
He didn't have to, she decided. She knew certain words didn't come easy to the young, handsome, and undoubtedly just as scared as she was cowboy in front of her. The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. She tilted her face down to his and brushed her lips gently against his.
"Yes," Kitty whispered. "I'd be proud to."
The bride and groom had stolen away from the party the Long Branch had given in their honor, unnoticed by any of the guests. Chester was taking advantage of the free liquor and proclaiming to everyone within earshot how wonderful it was that Miss Kitty and Mister Dillon were now man and wife and trying to forget it meant he'd lost his chance at her himself. Doc was likewise imbibing and had stationed himself nearby to make sure the marshal's assistant stayed out of trouble. Everyone else was too busy dancing and celebrating to concern themselves with what Matt and Kitty were doing now that they were legal and proper. Slightly under the influence themselves, the newlyweds were propped against the private entrance to Matt's room-now their room-at the back of Ma Smalley's. Not prone to public demonstrations of affection ordinarily, Matt was too caught up in whiskey and the excitement of the day to care whether anyone saw him pressed up against his beautiful bride, his hands touching her in places he had up until that moment only dreamed about. When Matt's lips left hers to travel down her throat, Kitty caught her breath and then whispered into his ear, "Matt, something's poking me."
"Mmm hmm," he murmured, pressing even closer, if that were possible.
"No, it's behind me! The doorknob!"
"Oh, sorry." He pulled her away from the offending piece of hardware and looked down at her. "Mrs. Dillon." He grinned broadly.
"Mr. Dillon," she answered. "I think it's time you took me inside and made me your wife." Her low, throaty voice intensified his desire, but a concern that had been nagging at him pushed its way to the front.
"Is it all right?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know…." He was suddenly bashful in front of his wife. "Marital relations," he said finally.
Kitty opened her mouth to laugh, then realized he was serious. "Why wouldn't it be?" She put her arms around his neck, afraid he might slip away from her after their wonderful closeness.
"You know," he said again. "The baby."
"It will be all right. I promise. Now let's go in."
Matt reached into the pocket of his courting coat, now his wedding coat. "What did I do with that key?"
"That's not funny, Matt."
"Who's joking?" He put his hand in the other pocket. Kitty, impatient, reached out to help him. Matt gasped at her touch. "That's not a pocket."
"I know. I'm just giving you a little motivation."
Matt suppressed a groan. If he was any more motivated their wedding night would be taking place where they stood and he didn't care who saw what. In desperation, he jammed his hands once again into both pockets and was finally rewarded. The key had slipped into a hole in the pocket lining. He produced it triumphantly and unlocked the door, swinging it inward. For the second time in as many days, he swept Kitty up into his arms.
Matt had brought her trunk with most of her clothes earlier in the day, along with the folding screen she used to change behind. She was changing now, and he stood, nervously shifting his feet as he waited for her. It still didn't seem quite real to him that he was now a married man with a child on the way, and that he was about to be with the woman he loved for the first time. It was an interesting set of circumstances, right enough. It was time for him to put aside all his doubts about the badge and a family mixing and be the best husband, father, and lawman he could be, no matter what happened. Like the vow he had just taken, for better or worse.
"Matt?" Kitty's voice behind him brought him back to the present. He turned and was struck silent by the sight of her in a ruffled pink and white robe. He'd seen her in it once before. She'd been none too pleased with him on that occasion, and he'd been too focused on the purpose of his visit to pay much mind to how she looked. Tonight he could think of little else. He went to her and took her in his arms. After a lingering kiss, their eyes met for a long look. "Now?" she whispered.
Still unable to speak, he nodded slowly, picked her up and carried her to bed.
Epilogue
Kitty lay in bed, propped up against a stack of pillows watching her three-day-old baby nurse hungrily. She could still scarcely believe she was a mother, even though she'd had the customary amount of time to get used to the idea. Then again, she still sometimes felt that way about being married. Aside from sleeping in the same bed-with emphasis on the word sleep-she saw her husband no more than she had before they were married. Sometimes less, since she was no longer at the Long Branch, where he could have conveniently come to see her whenever he had a spare minute. Which admittedly wasn't often. As long as Matt was in Dodge, and safely beside her every night, Kitty tried not to take it personally, knowing he didn't have much choice. And she'd put on a brave front and accepted his trips out of town with as much grace as possible, until this last time.
He hadn't outright promised to be there when the baby came, but he'd told her he'd do everything in his power to stay as close to Dodge as he could when her time was close. And it looked as though he was going to be able to keep his word, until five days previously, when Ox King and his kid brother Shorty had blown through town. While Matt was out at Jake Worth's, the King brothers proceeded to get themselves thrown out of every saloon in town, saving the Long Branch for last. The brothers challenged a cowboy over a girl Shorty had his eye on. When the cowboy wounded Shorty, Ox shot him down, claiming self-defense. Even worse, the girl, Gloria, who had been hired after Kitty left, was shot in the crossfire. When Matt got back in town in time to see the bodies of the cowboy and the unfortunate girl being carried from the Long Branch, he'd taken off after the Kings, stopping at home just long enough to let Kitty know he was leaving and why. She had managed to keep from crying until the door shut behind him. When Chester, who had come by to bring him the fresh horse he'd saddled for him, had said, in an attempt to be helpful, "My gracious, Miss Kitty, I just know when Mister Dillon saw that poor girl shot to death, he couldn't help but think that mighta been you. So naturally he had to go after those devils," she had what she now could only describe as a tantrum. Outraged, Ma Smalley had given him an earful for upsetting Kitty like that in her condition and had sent him after Doc, who had likewise chewed him out. Neither Doc nor Ma Smalley had been able to calm her down, so great was her worry over Matt's safety and her hurt from his leaving when the baby was due any time. Doc managed to get something in her to make her sleep, and when she'd woken up, it was to the first pains of childbirth.
Kitty smiled down at the still-nursing child and wondered when Matt would be coming back. She'd spent most of the last three days sleeping, when she wasn't feeding the baby, and when she thought of Matt, it was in a much more hopeful and less anxious frame of mind. Doc had been by twice a day to check on her and the baby, and several times he had reassured her at length on how Matt could take care of himself, and how they both knew Matt would move heaven and earth to get back to her in one piece. As a result, her thoughts of Matt were more in terms of how soon she would see him rather than whether he was all right. It was in this mindset that Kitty heard a light tap on the door, and Ma Smalley, quietly calling "Kitty?" as she opened it.
"Come on in, Ma."
"I just wanted to let you know the marshal is back, Kitty," Ma announced in her crisp, efficient way. "Now I know how much you want to see him, but I told him he simply could not come in here with all that filthy trail dust on him. He'll be here as soon as he has a proper bath and changes clothes."
"Thanks, Ma," Kitty said to her already-retreating landlady, no doubt on her way to get Matt's bath water ready. She grinned happily at the thought of seeing her husband again, then sighed regretfully at the additional work for Ma. She had been twice as busy the last few days taking care of her and the baby, and Kitty intended to rectify that situation just as soon as Doc let her out of bed, although Ma had already told her she wouldn't hear of it. Then, unable to help herself, she smiled again. "Your father's back," she whispered to her nearly sleeping child. Suddenly, with the use of that word, she felt a renewed sense of anxiety. Although Matt had repeatedly reassured her that he'd considered the baby his from the moment he asked her to marry him, she couldn't help wondering if he'd come to regret taking on the responsibility when he didn't have to. She pushed down the worry like she'd done with so many of the worries she'd had concerning Matt. Then, cradling the child a little closer, she snuggled down into Ma's freshly laundered quilt and without meaning to, fell asleep.
She woke an hour later when she sensed Matt's presence in the room. "Morning, Cowboy," she greeted her husband, giving him what she hoped was a dazzling smile.
"Morning," he teased, "it's almost supper time."
"I guess I don't keep track of time too well right now."
"You're entitled." Matt grinned, then his face turned serious. "Kitty, I'm sorry I wasn't here when the baby came."
"I know." Kitty lowered her eyes, trying to spare him the hurt she'd felt. It hadn't been his choice to leave her. "You're here now."
"Does he sleep a lot?" Matt nodded toward the blanket-wrapped bundle in her arms.
Kitty nodded. "Whenever he's not eating. He does a lot of that, too," she said with a touch of amusement. She pulled back a fold of blanket that had fallen over the baby's face and Matt leaned in for a closer look.
"By golly, Kitty, isn't he something," Matt marveled. Even after months of watching Kitty's figure change to accommodate her pregnancy, he was still having trouble fitting his mind around the notion that she had produced a child. "That must be about the best-looking baby I've ever seen." Kitty raised her eyebrows but stayed silent. She wasn't about to spoil this moment by asking him exactly how many babies he'd seen up close. "Does he have a name yet?"
Kitty shook her head. "I was waiting for you to get back." He did have a name, but Kitty reckoned under these particular circumstances, it was up to Matt to give it to him.
"I thought maybe-well, would it be all right if we named him after me?" Matt asked shyly, looking from the baby's face to Kitty's.
"I'd like that fine." At that moment the baby, as if knowing he'd just been unofficially christened, began stirring. His eyes opened slightly and he made soft noises, feeling safe and content in his parents' presence. "Look who's awake," Kitty cooed, stroking his hair with her fingertips. She looked up at Matt. "You ready to hold him?" she asked tentatively. She watched his face closely as he reached for the baby eagerly, if somewhat awkwardly. He'd said just what she hoped he would about naming him, but she had to know for sure.
If Matt knew he was being tested as Kitty helped him position his arms before placing the child in them, he gave no sign of it. He held him securely against his chest and smiled broadly down at him. Baby Matt's eyes opened wide as he and Big Matt sized each other up. Big Matt, for the first time that Kitty could remember, had tears in his eyes. He cleared his throat several times. Finally, he spoke, and his words removed all doubt from Kitty's mind.
"Hello, son."
END