At first when they walk into the crime scene Liv doesn't see the body. When she does she wishes she hadn't. Liv has been a medical examiner for 8 months, and a zombie longer than that. She has seen eyes missing, skin burnt beyond recognition, skulls caved in. Hell, she's caved in skulls herself. But this is the first thing she's seen on the job that's made her feel sick.
Lying on the rubber flooring of the playground, just under the shade of a little wooden bridge, is a child. A girl. She can't be more than thirteen years old. She is wearing a woolen stripy jumper and battered jeans with a rip revealing scraped knees. It's almost impossible to see the blood matted in her dark hair, but when Liv does, she cannot look away.
Beside her Ravi has stopped too. Craning her neck upwards Liv can see his face. He looks like he's about to cry. Liv has seen Ravi move the mouth of a corpse and pretend it was talking, as one might do with a toy. He jokes about the victims in the morgue, treating it like a game. He notices Liv's stare and looks down. "She looks just like my sister. When she was around 12. Just like her."
He moves his bag to the other hand and begins to walk towards the equipment, determined. Liv follows behind, more slowly. Clive is talking to some uniformed officers over by the police tape ringing the playground. Like streamers for a birthday party, Liv thinks. Ravi is kneeling down next to the girl. Very gently he moves her head to better examine the wound. Liv kneels beside him. Ravi points to the blood. "Blunt horse trauma to the head. The railing up there." He points to the bridge, the bright yellow railing stained red at one point. "Could've been an accident while she was playing, but…"
"How did she get down here then?" Clive walks up to stand behind them, face stony.
Ravi nods. "Exactly. From the depth of the wound, she would have died immediately. No crawling or…" He trails off, then shakes his head. "I'd also say this had too much horse behind it to be an accident. This was murder."
"God." Says Clive. "I have to talk to her mother. She's been called, but I need to interview her. Imagine. Who could do that to somebody's daughter?"
Ravi is silent as they carefully move the body into a black bag and zip it over the girl's tranquil face.
Liv can't believe it when Ravi brings out the bone saw. "Ravi, what are you doing?"
He glances up, then continues untangling the chord. "I thought that would be pretty obvious by now."
"Ravi." Liv says, catching his wrist. He puts down the saw. "Ravi, I can't."
He sighs. "Liv, I know this is difficult, but-"
"Difficult? Brilliant, you figured out that it's difficult to eat the brain of a 12-year-old child. I'm impressed." She drops his wrist and he rubs the red marks her fingers left there. She pulls back her hand. Sometimes it's hard to remember that she can hurt people, but looking down at the girl on the table, it is all too easy. "This is more than difficult. I'm not going to do it."
"Yes, you are." He picks up the saw again and turns away from her.
"No. We have other brains, and I won't be hungry for another couple of days anyway. I don't have to."
"Yes, you really do." He spins back to face her and she has never seen him look like this, so cold. "You think I'm thinking about your wellbeing right now? Look, it's horrible, but someone out there murdered a girl. A child. Somebody's darling daughter. Maybe somebody's baby sister or best friend. And if you don't eat her brain, that person may never be punished." He swallows, then looks down. "So yeah, this isn't about you anymore. This is about her."
Liv draws breath to speak but Ravi cuts her off. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to do this. But this is what you chose. You chose to use this to help people. That part of you is what no amount of different brains can change, the part that wants to help people. That's why I'm proud to be your friend." He pauses, catching his breath, and Liv can't find the words to reply. "Please. Just do this."
There is silence for a moment in the morgue, then the buzzing of the bone saw. Ravi slowly brings it towards the girl's forehead.
"What's her name?"
He stops. "Sorry?"
Liv is staring at the little girl on the cold metal. "You never told me her name. She has a name. She's not just somebody's daughter or sister or friend. She's a girl. She had a favourite song and scraped knees and maybe she kept a diary or had a crush and maybe she would have changed the world one day. She had a whole universe inside her. What was her name?"
Ravi nodded. "Emily. Her name was Emily."
Liv takes a breath. "Alright. Do it."
The buzzing changes a little as the blade sinks into Emily's forehead.
Emily was a happy girl. That's clear minutes after Liv's taken the last bite of her noodles. She couldn't bring herself to make anything more complicated, it seemed disrespectful to try to cover up what she was eating. Afterwards the world suddenly seems a little brighter. Emily was 12, but she managed to avoid the preteen angst her friends were experiencing. She preferred party games at her parties and her usual hangout was in her friend's bedroom with a movie and popcorn. Liv knows this because she gets visions of them. For some reason this brain gives her more visions than usual. Maybe it's because the child's brain finds stimulus everywhere. Every kid walking down the street, every smell and sound and taste has its own vision, and so far they've all been pretty good.
Clive still hasn't come to talk to her. Maybe he doesn't want to hear what visions she's been having. Maybe he wants to solve this one himself. She goes to his desk anyway. He looks up briefly as she arrives, then back to his computer. "I'm trying to work out suspects, but it's difficult. We usually suspect adults in her life, any uncles, step parents, or parents. But Emily didn't have any uncles or aunts. Her parents are still married and I can't imagine… They seem like good people."
Liv nods. She's had 3 visions of Emily's parents already, warm supportive people deserving of the love that Emily willingly gave. She couldn't believe they would hurt her. "Could it have been a random incident? Some psycho wandering the neighborhood?"
"We considered that. It's unlikely, but we've sent out a warning to the area anyway. Parents are taking special care of their little ones for the next few days. Right now I'm counting on a vision for a lead."
"Sorry." Liv says. Her hand finds the chord of her hoodie and she begins to chew it, before realizing and dropping it with a silent chastisement directed at Emily. "I've had visions, but they're all of her playing with her friends and generally having fun. Once she got shouted at by a teacher, but that's hardly grounds for investigating him for murder."
"Well, we have to start somewhere." Clive stands, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair. "Interviewing her teachers is a good place for it. They might know a bit about her life, if there were any signs she was being abused or was afraid. Call me if you get anything."
"I'm not coming with you?"
Clive shrugs his shoulders into the jacket. "Not this time. This is a little delicate. No offence, but you can be a little… unpredictable, sometimes."
Liv is left standing there, staring after him as he strides towards the door. Helpless.
Ravi works quietly that day. There is no humming or chatter from the morgue. Liv sits curled up on the sofa in the office, staring down at Emily's stripy sweater. Everything seems to trigger her visions, but somehow she cannot seem to get anything related to that day. She screws her eyes shut and smells the wool, feels the itchy fibre against her fingers. Nothing. Her mouth tastes metallic, and there is a lump in her throat. Liv puts the jumper aside carefully and hugs her knees as sobs begin to shake her body.
They sound so loud in the silence. Soon Liv feels a warm arm wrap around her shoulders and the cushion depresses as Ravi sits down next to her. She leans her head against his shoulder. "Preteen brains. Very emotional. You should try being in here."
Ravi's hand is stroking her hair and she can feel herself steadying. "Liv, despite the rapid personality changes, I have known you for quite a while. I think I know you pretty well. This isn't Emily, this is you. This is all you."
Snap
"This isn't you babe. I don't understand."
"Don't call me that! Stay away from us." Mum grips my hand tighter as the tall man stares down at her. My mum is little but she sure is fierce. Nobody can hurt me while she's around.
"Babe I- what's happening?"
"What's happening? I'm living the life you tried to take away from me, that's what's happening. Jesus, George, it's been 15 years. I have a family. I have a life. And if you don't stay away you will be in jail for a lot longer this time."
Mum tries to walk away but the tall man grabs my wrist. It hurts. The friendship bracelet Amelia made me is digging into my skin. His eyes are very blue and then make me afraid, despite mum's hand in mine.
"A daughter. She has my chin you know."
Mum pushes the man away. "She's not yours George. She's only 12. Don't you dare come near her."
He lets go of my wrist, and mum pulls me away, but he is still staring after us. "My chin… just like looking in a mirror…"
"Liv please!" Ravi is kneeling in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. Liv takes hold of his wrists, and he moves so that he is holding her hands, resting them on her legs. "You were in that one for a long time. You okay?"
She nods and lets go of his hands. He stands up, brushing off his lab coat, and sits down next to her on the sofa again. "What was it… I mean, can you talk about it? What you saw? Is that ok?"
"Yeah, of course." She says briskly. "I've seen worse. It was a fight. Some ex-boyfriend of her mothers confronted them on the street, and he seemed pretty fascinated with Emily."
Ravi stands. "I'll call Clive." He pulls out his phone but Liv grabs it from his hand. "No, I can do it. He'll need details. I think the mother charged this George guy with something; it shouldn't be too hard to find him, but it's good to be safe."
Ravi nods and taps in the passcode to the phone in her outstretched hand. He sits next to her as she describes the vision, and Liv finds herself leaning into his warmth and steady heartbeat. This isn't entirely a place of dead things.
Liv catches Clive as he walks into the bullpen. He talks as they walk. "One of her teachers noticed a guy matching your description standing around the school a few days before the murder. Tall, blue eyes, dark hair. Said Emily got nervous and went back into the school, but eventually the guy left and Emily wouldn't tell them what was up, so they let her walk home. That teacher wasn't on duty again that week though, and nobody else remembers anyone suspicious. They all said they're all too busy with the kids to notice any bystanders."
Liv pokes him in the shoulder impatiently. "C'mon though. It's got to be him. He's obviously crazy and he's really scary looking. He totally would do this."
Clive slaps her fingers away with a quizzical look. "Yeah, great evidence there, Liv. You can't put someone away with "he was scary looking and he would totally do it." I've got his address, want to come with me?"
Liv stops, her stomach tightening. She remembers the man's blue eyes, so unspeakably cold. Then she turns Clive and nods. "Definitely."
Outside the door to George Taylor's crappy basement apartment, Liv can't stop moving. She hops from foot to foot, pulls at the edges of her hoodie, tugs on her hair. The chord on her hoodie is a chewed up mess. Gross, Emily. Clive looks at her sideways and gives her a "cool it" gesture. She really is trying, but she feels sick and something is itching underneath her skin. Finally the door is answered.
Emily looked so small in the playground, and then on the metal table in the morgue. Liv hadn't realized that she was quite tall for a 12 year old, practically Liv's height. George is almost as tall as he was in the vision. He looks a mess; wearing a stained t-shirt and with a weeks worth of stubble on his face. To Liv, he is terrifying. She squares her jaw, screws up her courage (and for some reason her nose. Must be an Emily thing) and looks up at him.
"Mr. Taylor?" Clive says, holding out his badge.
The man nods. "What's up?"
"Mr. Taylor, I'm here to speak to you about the murder of Emily Green."
George takes a step back. "Annie? Annie's been murdered?"
"No sir, Emily. Her daughter. So you are acquainted with her mother?"
"You'd better come in." He says, voice flat.
They walk into the squalid apartment, Liv staying close to Clive and resisting the temptation to take his hand. Damn it, she is 12, not six! She can do this!
George grabs a beer from a fridge in the corner of the room and slumps into an armchair. "Annie Green was my girlfriend for a year, a while ago. Some of her friends convinced her that I had been abusing her and she took out an injunction against me. Of course, I tried to talk to her, but they said I was breaking the injunction and in the end I spent a year in prison. When I got out, she'd moved out of Florida."
Clive remained standing. "And did you ever meet Emily Green?"
George nodded, slowly, and took gulp from his bottle. "Yeah, once. I had just moved to Seattle, and I ran into Annie on the street. Turned out she was married, and had a kid."
Liv stays back against the wall. She knows he is lying. Half of her is shouting for her to denounce him, to point and stamp her foot and slap his stupid lying face. But stronger is the urge to stay quiet, stay small, to do nothing. Something very strong is telling her that shouting is not the best idea. Luckily, Clive is perfectly calm, or at least appears to be. "Mr. Taylor, we have a this dude i know placing you at Emily's school. We know you saw her more than once."
The beer bottle makes a thunk as George places it on a sticky-looking end table. "I dropped by the school, yeah."
"And why did you do that, when Mrs. Green had expressly told you never to go near Emily?"
"You wanna know the truth? I thought Emily should meet her Papa." George sits back in his chair. He looks smug, as if he has just won an argument.
Clive leans down towards George, right in his face. "Listen to me, sir. You were issued an injunction after you beat Annie Green unconscious. You were sent to jail after you broke into her house and slapped her into a wall, so hard that she need 15 stitches on her face. She moved to another state and fifteen years later you took out the same hell on her daughter."
George explodes out of his chair. "She's mine! I'm her godamn father!"
Snap.
"You are not my father! I know my dad! He's gentle and he makes me laugh and he never shouts at me! Now get away from me!"
The tall man is standing under the bridge, and like this we are the same height. I feel brave, and stronger than I ever have. I feel like mum looks. I glare at the tall man. His eyes aren't cold anymore, they are blazing.
"You can't speak to me that way! I've told you before Annie, you can't!"
I don't know what's happening but suddenly I don't feel so brave. I spin and I try to climb off the bridge to run away but something is pulling at my hair and I am about to scream when my head hits the railing and all my breath goes away for a second. Then his hands are on the sides of my head and the pain only lasts for a second but for that second it is my whole world and them I'm-
The back of Liv's head hits the plaster wall and she shrieks. Clive and George are staring at her. Liv looks into Clive's eyes, then at George, then nods. Clive nods back, and before she can blink there is a cuff on George's wrist and Clive is fighting for control of the other as George struggles. "George Taylor, you are under arrest for the murder of Emily Green. You have the right to remain silent…"
Liv closes her eyes and lets the familiar speech fade to the back of her perception, along with George's furious protestations. Right now, she is safe. It's safe to be brave again. The worst is over.
"I thought evidence was a thing." Liv sips at her hot chocolate. It wasn't like she can taste anything, but Emily is demanding it right now, and Liv isn't going to deny the poor girl some comfort.
Clive's lips twitch. "Trust me, this guy will confess. He's not the strategic ice-cold murderer. The only reason he didn't tell us himself at the apartment was because he didn't think of it as a crime. I've met these ones before. Usually involved in domestic violence cases. He'll confess."
Liv grins. She's done what she was meant to do with this brain, and as much as she knows she should be feeling somber, a certain vengeful 12 year old girl is cheering in her mind and she can't help but smile. Clive slaps a hand on her shoulder. "Well done Liv. I think you're done with this one."
"No problem. This one I was happy to help with."
Clive stares off through the one-way glass to where George Taylor sits, and his face is grave. "Still. Thanks."
In the morgue Ravi has made her coffee with extra hot sauce. Emily thinks it is super sweet of him, and Liv takes it with a small smile. She savors the first sip, the scalding chilies a pleasant tingle on her tongue. Emily hates the bitterness of coffee and can't stand spicy things, but she is not running this body and Liv needs this. Ravi is doing paper work, a rare occurrence. The morgue is very calm. Liv notices that Emily's body is gone, probably sent on to a funeral home. She hopes to God they don't bury her in a dress. Emily would hate that.
Ravi is humming a little under his breath. After listening closely for a minute, Liv recognizes the Game of Thrones theme. Emily disapproves, but comments on how pretty Ravi's hair is. Ugh. And Liv had thought Emily was one of the smart ones.
Ravi glances up and Liv realizes she has been staring. Her face turns a little red and once again she curses preteens. "Hey, I have a sudden craving for popcorn and chick-flicks. Wanna take a break from the paper work?"
Ravi lets out a breath and pushes his chair out. "Normally, an offer involving chick flicks would leave me cold, but since it means no paper work for a few hours, lead the way!"
Liv chuckles as he flops down on the sofa in the office and brings up a streaming site on his laptop. Five minutes later, settling onto the sofa beside her best friend with popcorn (extra hot sauce) and a movie, she thinks that maybe Emily has some good ideas after all.
Emily was a girl with a good life. And the man who took that away will be punished. Now, she can try to enjoy life on Emily's behalf.
