Chapter 1: What Now?

Jess comes back from Portland, to surprise Nick at his book reading, but not to tell Nick how she feels - it was just to be there for him as he's just gone through a breakup and also to cheer him on at his book reading.

While listening to one of his voicemails: "I'm coming apart here and I really wish you'd call me back", she'd felt guilty for a moment - she felt her decision of escaping to Portland was selfish. But then she realized, what else could she have done. Why on earth should she have to tag along as the third wheel with her ex boyfriend and his girlfriend at a literature conference?

(The question here is, why did Nick want Jess to go with him in the first place. Is he really that dumb, to invite his ex girlfriend in the presence of his present girlfriend? The answer here is simple, never in his life he's thought of Jess as his ex girlfriend, to him she was always his best friend, who was there for him unconditionally, something he might've unintentionally taken for granted)

Jess is there at Nick's book reading, blushing when Nick mentions Jessica Night.

One of the attendees asks:

"When are Pepperwood and Jessica Night going to get together?"

She gets excited, the kind of feeling you'd get if you were about to hear your crush talk about what they think of you, without them knowing you're listening.

To her immediate disappointment, he says:

"Pepperwood and Jessica Night will never get together, never. These characters - they are based on real people, and the real people are just fundamentally different"

She couldn't hear any further and just leaves, and so she doesn't hear his follow up remarks:

"Pepperwood - he blew it, sometimes you don't get another chance to fix the mistake".

Nick wants another chance and Jess wants to give him that chance - but neither of them knows what the other wants...

After the reading, Nick calls Jess, asking her if she was there at the reading, as he might've caught a glimpse of her, or so he thought. She denies being at the reading, but let's him know she's back in LA and lies that she was at home. Nick mentions he broke up with Reagan, but gets interrupted by a book publisher. He hangs up, and sets up a meeting with him.

At the meeting everything seems to be going well until the publisher suggests killing off Jessica Night, and in that moment, his heart skips a beat. He couldn't believe his ears.

He immediately rejects this by letting him know:

"Jessica Night is the whole reason Pepperwood gets out of bed everyday!"

He comes back home. Everyone's celebrating as they all just found out Cece's pregnant. Nick too, joins in the celebration.

That night both Nick and Jess couldn't sleep. Jess was finally beginning to accept she and Nick are really over. This entire time she thought the only reason they weren't together is because he was really happy with someone else, it was only now that she realized, it's actually because Nick still believes he and Jess are just not meant to be.

She asked herself:

"What now?"

"If not Nick then who?"

"And most importantly - why?"

Why not Nick? Is what she asked of him really that big of a deal breaker? All she wanted was for him to take a little more responsibility. Which, for the record, he already did - he's part owner of the bar, he's finished his novel. He's no longer the same guy wanting to become a truck driver on Mars, and even if he was, Jess just didn't care anymore - as she'd come to realize, she's in love with him just the way he is, she loves everything about him, which includes his childishness, as she once told him:

"I like your room the way it is, it already has a style - it's you"

She no longer classifies his actions as irresponsible or childish, everything he says and does is "Nick Miller style" to her, the Nick Miller she's unconditionally in love with.

She remembered his exact words when he feared Reagan doesn't like his book:

"Her opinion means a lot to me"

And her reply at that time:

"I think that's good you're letting yourself be vulnerable"

And how he immediately asked:

"Was I not that with you?"

At the time she was unsure of what to say to him, so she just mentions how they were just kids and he wanted a box and she wanted him to get a bank account. Obviously now she realized that, in all honesty, he really was not vulnerable with her. While he did once decide to open a bank account saying:

"I'd do anything for you Jess";

Putting toys together two weeks in advance just was too much for him. Clearly her opinion didn't matter to him at that time (something Nick is very well aware of as he himself said "Pepperwood, he blew it")

Jess eventually got tired of all these thoughts, and fell asleep.

Nick on the other hand, kept thinking of the way he felt when he heard the publisher asking to kill off Jessica night. He starts realizing how incomplete his life would be if Jess was removed from it. He wasn't kidding when he said: "Jessica Night is the whole reason Pepperwood gets out of bed everyday". He does have other best friends - Schmidt and Winston, who too are always there for him, just like Jess is. However, they have their own lives too, Schmidt's married, Winston's engaged, Schmidt's now gonna be a dad. The thing that makes Jess irreplaceable in his life is that, she always prioritizes him, no matter what she's up to - she's there for Nick first and foremost. She doesn't just listen to Nick's problems because she's his best friend and with that role comes the responsibility to listen to your best friend's problems, but she actually likes listening to his problems, as he once told Jess:

"I feel like you really like when I'm having a problem, not that you like it, but that you like talking about it"

While there are people in his life who will listen to him if he speaks, Jess is the only person who wouldn't wait for him to speak - she'll ask, she'll make him talk about his problems as if he's doing her a favor by talking about them. While Schmidt will be there if he asked for a blazer - even if it's in the middle of the night, Jess will be there making prototypes of his book, without him having to ask for it.

Ever since he's known Jess she's always just been there, so it was only now when she'd gone to Portland and wasn't answering his calls he realized, while he and Jess will forever remain friends, she has her own life too, she'll meet someone, and someday, she'll move out - in fact she'd almost moved in with Ryan had he not moved to England (something he still doesn't believe Ryan did, as the thought of anyone choosing anything over Jess is just unbelievable to him).

With this realization he too, just like Jess, asked himself:

"What now?"

"If not Jess then who?"

"And most importantly - why?"

However unlike Jess, he had the answer to the 'why' - it's because he himself sabotaged his relationship. He was afraid of thinking about his future with her, while she'd already thought about what their kids would be like. Just then, he remembered something Jess had said to him the day they broke up, when he was struggling to put the toy together:

"Christmas morning, our little guy waiting by the fire place, but there's no gift, because daddy's in the other room putting it together"

Obviously at that time he freaked out hearing the words "our kid". But one thing hit him today - the fact that Jess was not just thinking about their kids, Jess was thinking about their kids with Nick being EXACTLY THE WAY HE WAS - not putting toys together in advance. Sure she wanted him to take more responsibility, but she wanted this because she wanted to be with him, even with all his flaws she still saw her future with him. Even with such childish behavior, she imagined HIM as the father of her kids.

He too, just got tired of all these thoughts, and fell asleep.