It's not that she wasn't grateful to have Leonard back; she was, and had been since it happened, but six months on and she still missed Laurel. She wished she could have said more, done more. She wanted to know that her sister knew how much she meant to her.
There was something about traveling through time that somehow made her appreciate the time she had with her dad and her friends more. It was as if she now realized how quickly it could all change, and how quickly it could be changed.
The one change Sara wanted more than anything to make, though, she never could, and that took its toll on her. Being alive was like saying that she would never even try to save her sister. After everything Laurel had done for her, bringing back from the dead, helping her through that, and then encouraging her to leave on the Waverider, what could Sara do? Nothing! Nothing to save her sister.
The door to her room opened, and she glanced over to see Mick entering with a couple of beers. Sara sat up just in time as Mick tossed one of the bottles toward her. She watched as he sat on the chair next to her bed, kicked off his boots, and placed his feet on her mattress, leaning back on the chair.
"Can I help you?" she asked, in a clipped tone.
"Don't be like that, Blondie. I brought beer with me," Mick replied, taking a swig from his bottle.
"So the beer is for buttering me up?" she asked.
"No, it's because beer is good and you've been in here all day, alone and depressed. You need to snap out of it."
"Snap out of it!" Sara exclaimed. "It's my first birthday without my sister."
"Not really. I mean, how many years did you miss after the Gambit went down?" Mick asked.
Sara sipped her beer and glared at Mick. She knew he was right, but this was different. At least back then, there was a chance of spending her birthday with her sister again. Now all she had were memories and could-have-beens.
"I think you would have liked her," Sara said, pulling at the label on the bottle.
"The ADA, Black Canary?" Mick asked.
Sara looked up at him and gave a shrug with a wry laugh.
"She was so much more than that. I think if she got to know you, like I have, she would have liked you too."
"I still don't see it. The criminal and the ADA? Would she want me to change? Could you see that happening? It's like something from one of those awful girl movies Haircut watches with Birdgirl."
"They have names you know," Sara said.
Mick shrugged his shoulders as if to say he didn't care, and Sara shook her head at him before drinking some more of her beer.
"Do you regret coming on the mission?" Mick asked, suddenly serious.
Between Leonard's dying and their getting him back, she and Mick had asked each other that question a lot, and every time, they seemed to answer differently.
"Sometimes," she admitted. "I feel like I've cheated death one too many times now, and it's as if death is getting back at me. First Leonard, then Laurel. I just wish it had been me."
"We got Snart back," Mick said.
A small smile appeared on her face as Sara picked at the label. "I know, and that meant everything. I just wish I could have saved Laurel, too."
"You know why you couldn't though. You would be dead too if you tried."
"But am I saying by not trying, I value my life more than hers?"
Mick didn't respond, and Sara looked up at him for an answer. She wanted someone to tell her that it would be okay, although she had a feeling Mick wasn't going to tell her that anyway.
"If you went back to save her, it wouldn't just be you and her; it would be your dad and basically anyone else Darhk wanted dead," Mick said.
"Do you regret coming on the mission?" Sara asked, moving the conversation away from her inability to save Laurel.
"When Snart died, yes, but not today," he answered.
"That's good. I'm glad you're here," Sara said.
"Me too, even with Haircut comparing us to the Harry Potter trio."
"I just wish Laurel was here. That would be my birthday wish this year," Sara said with a small but sad smile.
"If she was, who would we be compared to then?"
Sara shrugged. "Who knows? The gang from Scooby Doo maybe?"
"I don't think it fits, but I'm sure whatever he would come up with would be ridiculous anyway."
Sara laughed, a real laugh as she suddenly pictured Mick and Leonard as Shaggy and Fred. Mick was right; it didn't fit at all.
"Speaking of, where is Len?" Sara asked.
"Rip sent him on a mission to retrieve something."
"Without us? He knows we work best as a team!" Sara exclaimed, worried that something would happen to him again.
"The Professor and Kid went too, I'm sure Snart will be fine. Don't worry about it, Blondie," Mick said.
Sara was about to go give Rip a piece of her mind when the doors to her room slid open and Leonard walked in. Sara all but flew off the bed and into his arms.
"Don't you dare go off on a mission without telling me first," she said, annoyed at herself for showing so much vulnerability, not only to him but also to Mick over the past hour or so.
"It wasn't a hard mission. Nothing was going to go wrong, and I'm fine," Leonard said, pulling Sara close.
She had spoken to Leonard about wishing Laurel was around for her birthday, so Sara knew that he knew what she needed.
"Did you get the item Rip sent you for?" Mick asked.
"Yeah, Ray and Stein are looking over it now," Leonard replied.
"I guess I'll go see if they need help," Mick said before leaving the room.
Sara laughed against Leonard's chest as she watched Mick leave and the door slide closed again.
"Like he's going to be able to help them. Kendra would be better."
"Kendra is with them too, probably supervising everything," Leonard said.
"What was it you had to go and get?" Sara asked.
"Something for Rip, and I may have gotten something for you for your birthday."
"Do I get to have it now?"
"I'm kinda hungry, so can I eat first, and then you can have your gift?" Leonard asked.
"Sure, I could do with food, too," Sara said.
She laced her fingers with his and pulled him out of her room toward the kitchen. They had almost reached their destination when Leonard stopped and pulled her to him. Sara let out a laugh before he pulled her into a kiss. She returned it immediatel, and wrapped an arm around his neck while the other gripped at the front of his jacket.
"What was that for?" Sara asked after Leonard had pulled back from the kiss.
"I just wanted to do that, and tell you that I love you, before tonight gets crazy," Leonard admitted.
"I love you, too, but what why would… Oh crap! Ray planned a surprise party, didn't he?"
"I told you nothing," Leonard said before pulling her toward the door. "Oh, and act surprised."
When the doors slid open and everyone yelled surprise, Sara didn't have to put on an act at all as she saw Laurel standing in front of her.
"I…" Sara'a hand flew to her mouth in shock, and tears welled up in her eyes.
"Happy Birthday, Baby," Leonard said, pressing a kiss to her temple.
Laurel moved toward her and wrapped Sara in a hug, and Sara couldn't help but cry against her sister's shoulder. When she pulled back, everyone was smiling, and Ray was wiping tears from his own eyes.
"How?" Sara asked.
"It took me a while, but I finally worked out how we could save Laurel, still defeat Darhk, and keep the timeline intact," Rip said, "but it did include you not being on the mission.
"I should be mad, but I'm not," Sara said, hugging Laurel again and mouthing a thank you over her sister's shoulder to Rip.
As the night, progressed Sara got the whole story and found out there were more people to thank when she was able to see them. Laurel had died, or at least the world was made to believe that, so the only sensible place for her to stay was on the Waverider.
Once Laurel was asleep, Sara slipped out of her room and headed down the hall to Leonard's. She opened the door and found him still awake, reading. Smiling at him, she made her way over and sat next to him on the bed. Pulling the book out of his hand and tossing it to the chair, Sara moved to straddle his lap, running her hand up his chest.
"You're my hero, you know that?" she whispered.
"I'm not a hero," he replied.
Sara leaned in and kissed him softly before pulling back.
"Yeah, you are, and I'm going to show you just how much that means," she said, kissing him again.
When Sara woke the next morning, she bit her lip and looked up at Leonard. Moving her fingers over the scars on his chest, she pressed a kiss to his heart and let out a content sigh.
"I guess I'm okay with being your hero," Leonard said.
"I figured you would be," she said, as she let out a laugh, looked up at him again, and pressed her lips to his.