She was pregnant.
No.
Five weeks along, she said.
Shima's face turned stark white.
No. No, she couldn't be.
He forgot how to breathe.
It just wasn't possible.
The phone dropped to the floor with a clatter.
No.
A distant voice still spoke through the cellphone.
"Hello? Renzō? Don't you even dare–!"
The girl didn't get to say anything else before Shima picked up the discarded phone and lifted it to his ear once again.
It was wrong.
"You're... joking, right?"
His hands trembled.
Her answer made his world go white.
He didn't remember much from the party. Deluded by the sour taste of vodka, he had shamelessly flirted with the cute girl in the couch. They had both been more than just a little tipsy. The bedroom door had been open, almost inviting them inside. The alcohol made up their minds for them. Anything beyond was a blur.
"I'm keeping it." Her voice ripped him out of his cloudy memories, and there was no hesitation to the words.
"You can't be serious." He tried to keep his tone carefree, but he knew that she could detect the panic. Even if he tried to laugh it of, it wouldn't change the mess he had gotten himself into. Nothing could get him out of this.
"You can't just ditch me now."Her voice didn't falter. She was sure in her decision.
Of course I can! he wanted to scream. I don't even know you!
That statement was only partly true, but Shima didn't bother choosing the perfect words. Though he had met up with her a couple of times after that night, he still wouldn't say he really knew her. The spark of their little fling had been growing, sure, but she was no more than an acquaintance to him."You are only 17!" he said loudly, voice raising by the second. "You can't have a baby now!"
"I have to, don't you get it?!"
Not one would describe Shima as a fierce person. If anything, he was pretty much always acting laid-back and easygoing. But this was something he could not deal with. His mind felt overloaded, and bitter anger boiled inside him for the first time in years.
"I can't do this right now!" he all but shouted into the phone. I can't do this ever.
"It's your responsibility!" she replied, tone desperate, but it didn't calm the storm raging in his head.
"I'm not forcing you to keep it! That's your decision alone! Don't you think I have any say in this?"
"It's your child!" Not noticing how her voice cracked at the last word, Shima froze. His child. An unwanted child, maybe, but she was right. It was his kid. Confusion and desperation stole the control of his mind. Anger escalated to both fear and helpless hoping.
"Well, how do you know it's me?!"
The other end stayed quiet for endless seconds, and all he could hear was strangled breathing. Hers or his own, he didn't register.
"Because... You're the only one I've been with, Renzō." A sob. "And I don't know what to do."
The words were voiced in such a lost, broken, tone, Shima felt ready to fall apart himself. His anger disappeared like the light of a candle in the wind. His calves were shaking and his legs suddenly felt like jelly. Unable to keep standing, Shima slowly crumbled to the floor.
"I can't.. I don't know what to do either," he admitted in no more than a whisper.
A quiet, but heart wrenching cry followed. Then the unmistakable sound of a badly restrained whimper. She was trying so hard to keep everything locked up inside, but her tough facade was slowly cracking. A pang of guilt bloomed in his chest.
Shima could imagine tears rolling down her soft cheeks, and the mere thought of it killed him. He had never known what to say to anyone crying. Comforting words didn't come easy to him, and he always risked making things worse.
He couldn't handle it.
"I'll talk to you later, okay?" he said faintly. When would "later" be, though? He was certainly not ready for another confrontation. The girl didn't reply, only sniffle a bit, but he somehow knew that she was nodding.
"Bye, then." He didn't wait for her to try out her voice.
Staring at the empty screen for the longest time, Shima was lost in a train of thought. There were too many questions without answer. What was he supposed to do? What should he tell people? His family? Friends? How could he take care of a kid?
There was no way he could become a father. He couldn't fill that kind of role. He was a high school student, dammit! And an exorcist-in-training at that. Something that would undoubtedly scare the girl to death. She liked normal. She loved normal. He had really messed up her life, hadn't he?
It just wasn't possible.
He shuddered.
It couldn't be.
Taking a deep breath, he willed his eyes to open from their squeezed together position.
No.
He gasped, reality hitting him.
NO.
Silent tears dripped from his chin, dampening his shirt.
He wasn't ready.
He needed help.
Fumbling blindly for his phone, he dialed a rarely used number. His immobilized fingers kept hitting the wrong buttons, but he could finally click "call".
It didn't take more than two rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jūzō. I... I've got a little problem..." He sniffled once, listening to his brother's voice. "Yeah... 'Think you can help me out?"
No matter what Jūzō would tell him, it would all just be comforting nonsense. Truth was; no one could help him out now. He was alone. But for now, just pouring his heart out and listening to his big brother's shitty advice, he felt like this could all be fixed.
And with wetness on his cheeks and blood-shot eyes, he thought that maybe, just maybe, it could.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
Though the ending is very open, this will probably stay as an one-shot. If you liked this, and want to make my day, pleease review! It means the world to me. :)