Secrets

It started at Shepard's party. She was off in some other corner of the apartment for the moment, and Garrus found himself talking to Jacob and a few others.

"So... how's Dr. Cole?" he asked Jacob.

"Good, things are good," he said. "It's funny, she's been asking a lot of questions. About our mission, some other things. She says couples shouldn't have secrets from each other."

Vega laughed out loud. "Really? Everybody's got secrets, don't they?"

Cortez leaned back against the bar, shooting James a look. "And you know this out of your vast experience of relationships, Mr. Vega?"

"What, you never had secrets, Esteban?"

Cortez shook his head. "Not particularly."

"What, anybody?" James looked around for support.

"Don't look at me," Joker said. "Nobody has secrets from my girlfriend."

"Come on, Scars, help me out here. You and Lola gotta be keeping some things confidential, no?"

"No. We don't keep secrets from each other." The words were out of his mouth before Garrus had thought them through. He blamed the drinks he'd already had.

Vega's eyebrows went up. "Aren't you the guy who was doing dance lessons on the sly?"

Garrus laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You've got me there. That was just a surprise, though, and she knows about it now."

Joker said, "What about this 'Operation Relax' thing you've got going on? That's a secret, isn't it?"

"Jimmy's the one who calls it that, not me," Garrus said, thinking it over. It was true that as soon as the repairs and shore leave were announced, he'd talked to most of the current Normandy crew privately and asked them to find some way to help distract Shepard during the leave. Otherwise she'd keep herself busy by badgering the techs about the speed of repairs, or reviewing reports, or finding somebody's errands to run. She was already working herself too hard. Garrus didn't like the dark circles under her eyes or the fact that he could feel her ribs beneath her skin. And now—she was still joking about it with everyone else, but he knew the business with the clone had hit her harder than she was willing to let on. She needed some real R&R. He'd worked it out. If everyone on the crew found just an hour or two to do something fun with her, it would ensure she took some genuine down time. It was a piece of luck, really, that most of the former crew were also on the Citadel just now. He'd been making the rounds of the party to have a word with each of them, too, quietly asked them to take some time to keep her occupied. "I'm just making sure she takes some time off," he said.

"Yeah, but you're keeping it a secret from her!" James said.

"That's not much of a secret," Jacob said.

"Let it go, Mr. Vega," said Steve. "Why a single man thinks he knows how relationships work is beyond me."

Afterward, Garrus couldn't quite remember who'd said it. "Maybe Shepard's keeping secrets from you," someone had said, and several others had laughed. The details got lost in the haze of more drinks, more conversation, and still more drinks.

He woke up with a Reaper-sized hangover and a creeping dread that he'd done something unwise to that glass wall next to the door. Over the next day, Garrus could count his plan a success. Shepard got a string of messages inviting her out, and no more threats popped up. Bits and pieces of the night before kept drifting into his memory, though, and for some reason that one line kept coming back. Each time he tried to put it out of his mind. Each time, he thought he'd succeeded.

His access code let him into Shepard's apartment at the end of the day. "Shepard?"

"Yeah," she called back. It sounded like she was at the far end of the space. The variety of surfaces bounced sound around in odd ways. She didn't sound particularly strained or alarmed, though, so he relaxed a little, even though he made sure to secure the door behind him.

"Have a good day?" he called.

"Yeah." Shepard emerged from the direction of the office, wearing her soft black jacket, and crossed her arms. "Did you clean?"

"Uh... yes?" There hadn't been that much to do, actually. He suspected that EDI had done most of the heavy lifting during the early morning hours, while the rest of them slept off their overindulgence. He'd just tidied up the odds and ends left lying around the department (and disabled a couple of the less-well-thought-out defenses, which were absolutely Massani's fault and not his) and cleaned up in the kitchen.

"I don't expect you to clean up after my party."

Garrus shrugged, wondering if he'd misstepped, but she came out to meet him, slipped her arms around him, and planted a kiss on his left mandible. "Thank you."

"It was no trouble," he said, relaxing. "I had some time."

"You're supposed to be on leave, too, you know," she said, forehead puckering.

"I don't mind," he said. "What were you up to all day?"

She let out a small laugh, disentangling herself and heading for the kitchen. "Jack wanted to meet up over at the Arena—hey, do you want to try it out sometime?"

He followed. "Sure. I'll blow up holographic enemies with you any time."

She grinned, reaching for the fridge, then hesitated with her hand hovering next to the handle. "This isn't going to explode if I open it, right?"

Garrus sighed. He was never going to live that down. "No."

"You sure? You didn't get extra enthusiastic with your security measures?" She opened the door, though, and pulled out a bottle of juice.

"No. Or. Well. I don't think so." Parts of that night were a little fuzzy around the edges. He really, really needed not to drink with Massani again.

Shepard took a drink and smirked at him over the edge of the bottle. "Anyway, I was there for a while, and then I met some people over at the arcade, and it turned out Traynor was in some kind of gamer deathmatch with one of the bitchiest asari I've ever seen. And there was this whole thing with Zaeed and—" She shook her head. "That reminds me, actually. Here." She pulled something out of her pocket and tossed it to him.

Garrus caught it and looked down, bemused, at the stuffed volus in his hands. "Uh, thanks?"

"You're welcome. Don't say I never did anything for you."

He looked up, startled at the very idea, but she was still smiling. "You know I'd never say that."

Her smile stretched wider. "So yeah, it was a busy day."

"What have you got on tap tonight?" he asked. "I thought we could get dinner. I know a couple of places that are quiet and, um. Secure." Not as good as the sushi place, maybe, but he thought he'd let that one go just this once.

Her expression shifted several times, so rapidly that he wasn't sure what she was thinking. "Actually, I think Tali's coming over."

"Oh." That was a little disappointing; it would have been nice to see Shepard on her own. "We could order in, then..."

"She said something about some romance vid she wanted me to see, and 'girls' night.'"

There was something familiar about her expression, but Garrus couldn't quite place it right away. "Ah." He scratched his neck. "Maybe I'll pass, then. I have some things to check with Tactus, anyway."

Her brows drew together briefly, and then smoothed out as she finished the juice. She put the bottle down and leaned one hip against the counter. "She won't be here for a couple of hours, though, and I could use a shower. Want to join me?"

"I'm not saying no to that."

She grinned. "I thought you wouldn't." She came over for another kiss, deeper and more lingering.

"Maybe we should take this upstairs," he suggested, voice gone gravelly.

"Good idea."

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, though, he saw her glance toward the office, and saw the blinking message light on her terminal. She gave him one quick squeeze before letting go. "You go on ahead. I'll just check that."

Garrus frowned. "Shepard. You're not working, are you? You're supposed to be on leave."

"No, it's probably just Tali confirming when she's coming over. Go on. You can run the water really hot before I get there. I'll be right up."

He hesitated for just a moment. It was true he liked the water hotter than her skin could stand. "Okay. Don't be too late."

Halfway up the stairs, he suddenly placed her expression. It was the same look she got while playing cards. She was hard to read, but... he stopped and glanced over his shoulder, but he couldn't see all the way to the desk from his position on the stairs.

She wasn't... hiding something from him, was she? Was it really a message from Tali that she was expecting? Or... something else? She'd found an excuse to send him out for the evening quickly enough.

No. She wouldn't do that on purpose. He continued on his way up the stairs.

It took her a good few minutes before she joined him, though.

He would have put it out of his mind, probably. Checking in with Tactus, and then arguing another lot of supplies out of C-Sec, took enough time and energy that he'd almost forgotten the whole thing.

Until, as he walked through the busy crowds of the ward, he saw Tali, walking out of a shop. For a moment he thought it was some other quarian, but there was no mistaking her particular gait or posture. She wasn't in any hurry; it only took Garrus a few minutes of fast walking to catch up to her. "Tali! I thought you were with Shepard."

She started. "What? Oh! Garrus. Yes, um, that's right. I was just on my way there."

He frowned, checking the time. "Shepard said you were going to be there at least an hour ago."

"Well. Something came up. It... took me a while to find the vid."

Garrus stared at her, all his detective instincts coming to the fore. Tali's vid collection was legendary and, so far as he knew, meticulously organized.

"Really," he said.

"Really."

He crossed his arms. "Which vid was it?"

"Um... Fleet and Flotilla." She said it a little too quickly. Garrus gave her a searching look.

"Isn't that your favorite?"

Tali twined her fingers together briefly. "Yes..."

"Then how could you have lost track of it?"

Tali heaved a sigh and planted her hands on her hips. "Why are you interrogating me, Garrus Vakarian?"

"Your story doesn't add up." He stopped abruptly, feeling foolish, and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry, Tali. Shepard... I don't know. I got the feeling she was keeping something from me."

"So? She's not allowed to have a secret if she wants?"

"Of course she is, we just usually... don't."

Tali sighed, loudly, tilting her head at an angle which usually indicated her exasperation. "Garrus. Don't be a bosh'tet. If you want to know something from Shepard, just ask her. And don't go all C-Sec on her. You know she'll just take that as a challenge."

He laughed a little, picturing Shepard's face if he tried it. "Yeah, you're probably right about that."

"Go on and ask her, then," Tali said. Her voice had grown amused.

He cocked his head at her. "I thought you were just going over."

"Don't start this again," she said. "You know... she said there's been so much going on this shore leave she feels like she's hardly seen you. So go."

"Ah... all right." He turned to go, and then thought better of it. "Tali? Sorry. And... thanks."

"Gratitude and an apology?" she said, laughing. "I'm going to remember this day, Garrus."

He could have let himself in; he already knew that the access code worked. But he hesitated, and then rang instead.

Shepard answered the door with a half-smile and raised one eyebrow. "There a reason you rang, Garrus?"

"I, uh—" He tugged at his collar. The truth was, he'd felt just a bit wrong about going in, after doubting her.

"It's fine." She stepped back and waved him in. "Tali called and mentioned she'd run into you, as it happens."

"Did she?"

"Yeah. I wasn't surprised, honestly. I wasn't sure you'd believed me in the first place." Her smile twisted into something wry. "Turns out I'm not very good at keeping secrets. From you, anyway."

"I'm—"

"There's no need for apologies," she said firmly. "I don't make a habit of keeping secrets from you, you know. I just wanted to surprise you this time."

"I'm still—" He stopped himself from the apology when she gave him a warning look. "I should trust you. I do trust you."

She smiled widely this time. "I know. Actually, your timing is excellent. If Tali hadn't told me you were on the way, I would have been calling you."

Garrus hesitated. "Timing? What are you talking about?"

She jerked her head in the direction of the office. "Go on."

He went, puzzled. Shepard followed as he went around to the office. He stopped next to the desk and glanced at her. "Go ahead," she said again.

Baffled, Garrus sat, and at Shepard's nod, accepted the incoming call. His eyes widened as the vidcall streamed in. Low quality, rough and grainy, but... "Sol," he said, nearly overwhelmed with relief, and his sister grinned back.

It wasn't long enough, but he knew every minute was dear on a vessel crowded with evacuees. It was enough time to talk to Sol and Dad both, to reassure them he was all right, to trade five bad jokes with his sister that made his father sigh at them both, as if they were children again.

Garrus walked out of the office feeling lighter, more carefree, than he had in months. Shepard sat curled up on the couch. He sat himself down next to her and nudged her shoulder. "How did you even—"

She leaned back. "I pulled a couple of strings with Victus."

He wrapped an arm around her back. She leaned her head against him, and he rested his cheek against the top of her head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, softly.

Then Shepard reached for the remote control. "I've got another surprise, actually. Tali claims this is your favorite vid."

Garrus groaned as familiar garish titles flashed across the vidscreen, from a turian adventure movie he'd watched over and over again as a teen. In reality it was embarrassingly bad, with a ludicrous story and terrible production values, but he still had damn near the whole thing memorized. "Shepard—no—"

"Come on, I need some insight into turian culture!"

"I can fill you in," he said, but Shepard was already laughing at the vid, and he knew this was one battle he wasn't going to win.

For a request by Thunz.