A/N: This is a songfic dedicated to the Mwu x Murrue pairing. The song is Baby face's "What If". Now the disclaimers, I don't own Gundam Seed or the song nor do I have any affiliations with their respective makers.

What if the love you left was the love that was supposed to stay?

What If?

Mwu x Murrue

Mwu LaFlaga heaved a sigh. It has been more two years since he last had any contact with anyone from work. Mwu left his colleagues without any warning. He just felt he had to find himself. Little did he know that the very thing he was searching for could only be found in the place he left.

He ran into Natarle Badgiruel in an al fresco coffee shop and from the way she looked, nothing has changed. His former-colleague still looked stern, with her short, black hair and pursed lips. They found a table for two in a breezy spot and each ordered a cup of coffee. Natarle still had that commanding voice that would boom in his ears whenever he did something 'risky'. Yes, Natarle will always be Natarle. It made him wonder all the more, did he miss anything at all the whole time he was gone?

"So how's everyone?" he began, propping his elbows on the table.

Natarle was quick to reply, "Good. Everyone's doing fine."

Mwu was a bit disappointed on her answer. He wanted her to fill him up on the two years he missed, but much more, he wanted her to tell him how Murrue has been since he left. But with Natarle answering, he could only expect nothing more than the dullest answers, so he pushed through, "Is Murrue doing well?"

Natarle shifted her eyes from him to his left side. He turned to look as well. It was the waiter arriving with their order. They paused for a while as the man laid down the two cups of coffee and left with nothing more than the tray.

"She's doing great," she finally replied. "She just bought a new house away from the compound, and now she's living there with her husband."

The last few words rang in Mwu's ears like violent cymbals. It hurt a lot. Somehow, to him, the words didn't seem right. He didn't know the reason why it felt that way. Maybe it was just his ego injured because his ex-girlfriend moved on so easily. But at the back of his head, there was a voice telling him that it was because of the fact that after all this time, he was still in love with Murrue and he regretted leaving her side.

"That's great," he said, faking a smile. Being the man that he was, he could never show how weak he felt with the news she told him. "But hey…"

Natarle was sipping her coffee, and when she heard his hanging sentence, she looked up to meet his eyes. "Yes?" she cut herself from her drink.

"Does…" Mwu stuttered. "Does she… Does Murrue ever ask about me?"

The black-haired woman quickly shifted her gaze from his eyes, back to her coffee cup. She rolled the contents of the cup from side to side. Indeed, she looked as though she did not enjoy the conversation they were having. "Mwu, I already told you that she's doing well. She's living with her husband and she's happy… without you. Just let her stay that way. I'm sure it'd be the most sensible decision you'll ever do."

Mwu ran a hand through his hair. How could he be so stupid to ask that kind of question? Murrue is happy even without him, and his trying to unearth their past could ruin it all. But despite that, he couldn't help but wonder what could've been if he hadn't gone away. Could she have been happier?

I ran into a friend of yours this other day

And I asked her how you've been

She said my girl is fine, just bought a house

Got a job, a real good man

I told her I was glad for you, that's wonderful

But does she ever ask about me

She said she's happy with her life right now

Let her go, let her be

And I told myself I would,

But something in my heart just would not let you go

I just wanna know…

There was a long spell of silence between the two former-colleagues, and it was driving Mwu nuts. But as much as he wanted to somehow change the atmosphere, he couldn't find any other words to say. After a few more sighs and sips of coffee, Natarle finally found something else to talk about…

"So from the two years you've been out of reach," she began. "Is there someone special in your life now?"

Mwu faked another smile, "No one in particular… there's Mwu LaFlaga, The Hawk of Endymion, and most especially, the man who takes pride in making the impossible possible."

"Funny," Natarle scoffed. "You're still the same man we knew. Still opt to making witty replies..."

"You bet," the blond said. "I'm still the same. Same looks, same attitude, and same dreams… dreams of her. I still do so, you know…"

"Enough of that, Mwu," she said, placing her cup on the table with more force than it'd usually take. "I want Murrue to be happy, and I'm sure you want that too. Murrue is happy with her husband and their son. Do her a favor, and stop meddling."

"I know, I know," Mwu said, lightly hitting his head with the boney part of his wrist. He willed himself to stop thinking about Murrue, but the more he tried, the more memories of her flood back to him. "But I have to admit… I still love her, Natarle. I still love Murrue… and now, all I want is too see her… just see her. I don't care if she doesn't remember me. I don't even care if she doesn't see me."

Your friend asked me if there was someone special

In my life that I was seeing

I told her there was no one in particular

There's just I, myself, and me

I told her that I dream of you quite often

She just cut her eyes at me

She said you got a home, you're very happy

So just stop your meddling

I told her that I would

I said thing were cool but I guess I was wrong

I still can't move on…

Natarle expected that she would have a hard time talking Mwu out of his nostalgia, but after their conversation, she concluded that it was impossible to do so. She finally gave up, laid some loose change to pay for her bill, and left him alone with the words, "I don't know if I can say anything more to make you give up, but I guess I can do something to make you see my point."

After thinking it through, he still couldn't figure what she meant by her last words. Was that some sort of riddle? Nah, Mwu told himself. Natarle isn't the type. What did she mean? He was about to leave when he noticed a small card amidst the money that Natarle left.

She's must've not noticed this while she picked some change from her wallet. That Natarle… he said to himself. Mwu picked the card up and was nonplussed by what it was: neat and cursive handwriting in red ink, it read "Natarle, come visit some time. We'd love to have you here. Your good friend, Murrue." And right below the note was an address.

Mwu stared at the address steadily, still quite skeptical. Was this really happening? Just when he was wishing to see his beloved Murrue… there it was… a card with her address in it. Or could this be just a trick Natarle was playing at him? But it can't be… he knew Murrue's handwriting all too well, and the handwriting on the card was definitely hers.

Am I going to see her again? He asked himself. Am I really going to see my Murrue again? Mwu clutched the card and smiled. If I am, thank you, Natarle…

A month later, Mwu found himself standing before a two-storey house. It was quite big, with its seven windows and double-doors. The pearl-white paint on it seemed new, as well as the maroon roof tiles. On one of the maple doors was the number 16 plated in gold. The lawn seemed newly mowed and the shrubs growing, freshly watered. Indeed, it was the vision of the perfect house. It was Murrue's house. Yes, hers and her husband's.

So this is it… Mwu said to himself, staring. He made for the door to ring but found it pointless as he didn't intend to let Murrue know that he's around. After all, he just wanted to see her, not talk to her.

Mwu spent quite some time walking forward and then back, undecided if he was going to ring the doorbell. Then, he finally decided to push through. Mustering every ounce of courage in him, Mwu made for the door and rang the doorbell. It made a long buzz sound, followed by complete silence.

There's no turning back now, he thought. After a few moments, I'll be hearing her voice again… Murrue's voice.

But that 'few moments' was took longer than he'd expected. In fact, he has been standing in front of the door for minutes and still there was no voice or footsteps approaching.

Mwu started to feel dumb. There he was standing by the door of someone he didn't even intend to see. So what on earth was he doing there? Then it hit him, Natarle's parting words…

"I don't know if I can say anything more to make you give up

but I guess I can do something to make you see my point."

And he finally did. He finally saw her point. No matter how much he wanted to bring the past back, together with Murrue's love, he couldn't. It was too late for him and his love for her. As Natarle has been saying to him, Murrue is already happy without him. How could he be so selfish as to ruin that happiness for her?

There you have it, Mwu, he told himself. Natarle's point… she's not coming back 'coz you returned too late. Now she's happy and I'm just---

"M-Mwu?"

He felt his heart stop beating. That voice… that familiar voice… could it be..? Mwu turned around to see, though he already knew who it was, still he had to make sure he wasn't just dreaming.

Wavy brown hair tied in a loose ponytail on the side. Marigold eyes shining like topazes against the late-afternoon sunlight. Creamy skin neither unblemished nor aged by time. Cherry-pink lips at a loss for words. It was the vision of the woman who has been haunting his days and nights alone for more than two years now. It was none other than Murrue Ramius.

His memories of her flooded back to him, drowning him in a deluge of the times they spent in the Archangel. The kisses stolen from each other. The warm embraces beneath the sunlight. And the love they promised would be forever.

Mwu found it difficult to begin. What was he to say? That he was glad to see her again? Of course, he is. But much more than that, he wanted to tell her how much he still loves her and how much he regretted leaving her. But before he could even open his mouth to speak, Mwu heard an unfamiliar, indistinct voice. Like that of a child's.

Only then did he notice that Murrue was carrying a child, a boy, in her arms. He was no more than a year old, with the same brown hair as hers. His eyes, however, were tinted bright amber, definitely not Murrue's. The child stared at Mwu and then laughed. He then remembered Natarle mention that she already has a son with her husband.

"Your kid?" Mwu asked her, trying his best to sound happy though deep inside, his heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest from all the pain he was feeling.

If only I had stayed, Murrue, he told himself. If only I hadn't left you…then I could have been the father of that boy. And we could have been happy together.

Murrue nodded and cradled the boy in her arms and took a deep breath. "Well, it wouldn't be right for us to talk here outside. Come inside, Mwu. I'll get us something to eat," she said happily.

Now that could be my car

That could be my house

That could be my baby boy you're nursing

That could be the trash that I always take out

That could be the chair that I love to chill in

That could be my food at the table at the end of the day

Hugs and the kisses, all the love we made

What the hell do you expect me to say?

What if it isn't supposed to be this way?

What if you're really supposed to be with me?

Mwu felt as though he had been on a very long trance and the sound of Murrue's voice had him restored. He snapped out of it, and returned the smile with a reply, "Uhh… Sorry to say but I can't stay long. I just wanted to check up on you."

The brunette frowned at his reply, "Oh… okay. Well, we'll be going inside now."

Murrue turned her away from him and made for the door. Mwu just stared at her, not knowing what to feel. Everything happened all too sudden. Everything felt so quick. It was all a blur to him… yes, a blur of emotions: from love to anticipation, from anticipation to dismay, from dismay to surprise, and from surprise to a mixture of regret and languish.

Mwu had no idea what else to do and so he started his way towards the street. He felt quite satisfied with his decision not to accept her offer. It was the most sensible thing to do, as what Natarle has said. For if he continues to see Murrue, he might not be able to restrain himself from holding her close and not letting her go.

He turned to look at her one last time as she was to grab something (the doorkey) from her pocket. It was proving to be difficult since she was carrying her son. Murrue struggled to reach for her side pocket while the baby boy played around her arms.

The blond ran to her rescue and held out his arms to her, "Here, I'll hold him for you."

Murrue looked at him in a very strange way. It was a mixture of surprise and hesitation, "Oh… okay. Thank you."

Much to his surprise, the child immediately reached out to Mwu's arms, as though he actually wanted Mwu to carry him. Murrue was quite appalled at how her son gestured to come with him.

"Uhh… shouldn't you be getting the key now?" Mwu said, still cradling the boy.

Murrue snapped out of her senses and resumed searching. She put a hand on her pocket and pulled out its contents but there was no key. Another pocket, and still nothing. "Where could that be?"

"You lost the key?" he asked her.

Murrue was now lifting the big welcome rug in front of the door, "I think so, yeah. Could you hold him for a while? I have to search for the key."

"Sure," he said to her and then he turned to the baby in his arms, smiling. "I'll be carrying you for a while since your mommy's trying to find your key."

Mwu looked around the doorstep and found something shiny not far from Murrue's left foot. He held the boy closer to him and then ducked to pick the shiny thing up, but as he was about to grab hold of it, Murrue grabbed it first. Their hands overlapped each other's. Both adults flushed bright red. Mwu was lost once more in a deluge of memories. Her hand beneath his… that feeling felt so familiar, it was almost as if it was only yesterday that it last happened.

"Uhh… I have it," Murrue took the key and stood up hastily. "Thanks for helping me find it."

Mwu awoke from his daydreams and found himself standing by her side. "Uhh… sure. No problem-o. Here's your baby," he returned the child back to the arms of his mother.

"Thanks, Mwu," Murrue said gratefully after finally fitting the key to the door's keyhole. "Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay?"

Mwu opened the door for her, "Uh-huh. I just wanted to see how you've been all these years."

Murrue smiled at him, "I'm doing… great. Just great. My husband's a good man and I love this baby so much."

"I can see that," he replied. "Now, I gotta go… Goodbye." And with those words, he left.

Mwu didn't look back. He didn't have the courage to do so. He walked straight ahead, not knowing that as he made for the street, Murrue saw him through all the way before entering the house.

She closed the door behind her and held out a finger to her baby boy with a weak smile, "Now what do you want for dinner, baby Mwu?"

What if we were wrong about each other?

What if you were really made for me?

What if we were supposed to be together?

Wouldn't that mean anything?

What if that was supposed to be my house that you go home to everyday?

How can you be sure that things are better?

If you can't be sure your heart ain't still you and me?

Still wanting me…

FIN