Author's note: I like that a couple of times in the show Kyle has been the first person Cartman called when something bad happened, it shows that despite what he says, he actually really trusts Kyle (or at least he did before the second episode of season 20 anyway) and I think that's cute. So I wanted to write a fic where they slowly become closer through phone calls because sometimes it's easier to tell a person something when there's that safety net of distance and not having to look at them.

It's not gonna be just phone conversations all the way through though and I also already have drama planned for later on in the fic because I'm evil like that.

The kids are high school age in this (I usually write them in their late teens so more around the last year of high school).

"Kahl!" Cartman's voice rang through the phone in Kyle's hand, piercing through his sleep muddled brain and making him wince a little at the volume.

Kyle rolled his eyes upon registering the voice. "Cartman. It's two in the morning on a school night. This better be important," he warned.

Kyle had grown used to being Eric Cartman's 'emergency' contact over the years. He still didn't know why exactly, but he always seemed to be the first person Cartman would call during a crisis. He guessed it had something to do with him often trying to be the voice of reason in his friendship group, but there was also a part of him that just wondered whether this was yet another way Cartman liked to try and annoy him.

"It is important I swear!" Cartman reassured him, although he still highly doubted it.

"Ok, what do you want?"

There was a moment of silence in which Kyle wondered if it might actually be something serious before the other replied. "If you ever got super time travel powers and could go back to the day my dad died and stop me from getting him killed so he would still be alive, but it meant that something horrible would happen to me and I'd eventually die instead you wouldn't do it, right?"

Kyle's eyebrows shot up in confusion as he processed what the other was asking him. Where had this come from?

"Cartman, what-"

Cartman interrupted, continuing with his rambling. "It's just, I just finished this chapter of Life is Strange - which I'm only playing because Butters said I'd like it because it has photography and murder in it by the way- and this chick just went back in time and stopped her friend's dad from dying in a car crash because she thought it might stop her from being on her period all the time or something. The friend ended up getting in a car crash instead though because you can't just go fucking around with timelines however you like apparently, which is super fucking weak if you ask me like what is the point in having the power to rewind time if you can't do anything you want with it?"

It was at this point in the conversation that Kyle officially zoned out, his facial features slipping into the deadpan expression he reserved for those times Cartman irritated to hell out of him as he stared at the ceiling and tried his best to ignore the voice blaring out of the receiver. How was he talking so loud anyway? Wasn't his mom sleeping by now?

To be fair, Kyle should have known it would be something trivial like this. The last time Cartman called about a legitimate emergency had been about a year ago when he had somehow ended up lost somewhere in Europe with Kenny and Butters. Kyle never asked how that happened, mostly because he had a feeling he was better off not knowing, but it had been a long day of research and important phone calls on his part before they were all safe and on a flight home again. Since then though, things had been relatively quiet.

He's not even sure why he still feels so compelled to answer Cartman's calls at this point. For some reason a part of him still worries that the other boy might be in actual trouble every time his name and picture flashes up on the screen of his phone. Kenny always told him it was because he couldn't resist being the 'mom friend', but he couldn't help feeling that he felt more of a sense of urgency when it came to Cartman. Probably because he'd invested so much of his time in trying to stop him getting involved in dangerous schemes in their childhood. Part of him wished he didn't still feel so concerned when it came to Cartman though because now it was going to end up making him fall asleep in class.

"- so the time travel chick ended up having to help her moody friend die because she was hooked up to machines and shit -like Kenny was that one time- and it was super fucking depressing bro like if they weren't so whiny and boring most of the time I might actually have felt bad for them. Anyway, the girl with the time powers kind of reminds me of you because she keeps whining about going back and doing the right thing and sneaking around and meddling in other people's lives so I thought 'I wonder if Kyle would ever screw me over that badly if he had the chance' and then I decided to call and find out for myself."

"I'm going back to sleep," Kyle stated, taking the phone away from his ear.

"No wait! Kahl!" Cartman called.

Kyle sighed and shook his head, wondering why he put himself through this as he lifted the phone back to his ear. "What, Fatass?"

Cartman huffed on the other end of the line, affronted by the use of the nickname. "Just answer the question, Jew," he demanded. "If you could get your nosey ass involved in my business as usual and stop me from doing what I did to my father, even if it meant I would die somewhere later along the line because you upset the balance of time or some shit, would you do it?"

"Ok first of all, this is ridiculous because you're talking about a situation that is never gonna happen here and I can't believe you woke me up for this," Kyle complained. "And secondly I wouldn't have to get my 'nosey ass' involved in your business so much if you weren't so reckless all the goddamn time!"

"Ok mom," Cartman retorted and Kyle could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "Just answer my question already!"

"Fine," Kyle sighed, resigning himself to just giving an answer because he knew they'd be here all night otherwise. "I wouldn't do it," he muttered reluctantly. "Happy now?"

"Wha- really?!" Cartman replied. "You seriously wouldn't?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Kyle inquired, his features scrunched in confusion. "You said that you'd die in your dad's place if I did it and I don't really know him. Plus you wouldn't be there to learn anything from it or appreciate that your dad was alive so there would be no point."

"Yeah but I got him killed! Wouldn't you of all people want to save the innocent one in this situation?" Cartman argued.

"You barely knew him," Kyle stated. "For all we know he could have been a horrible person and to be perfectly honest he probably was if he was capable of having a child with someone when he already had a family and forcing the entire town to lie to his own child without showing any signs of remorse."

Kyle didn't know what made him say that, he wasn't entirely sure how this conversation became so serious. He was also very aware that he may have said too much about something that was still a pretty sore subject. He had a nagging feeling that this was not just some ridiculous 2 am conversation about something completely hypothetical for Cartman though. He had a feeling that there might have been some actual insecurities and concerns prompting Cartman to call him about this when he could have just as easily annoyed him with it at the bus stop later and for some reason he wanted to do all he could to get rid of them.

"I thought you hated me though. I've done so many fucked up things to you and a whole bunch of other people. Why wouldn't you wanna get rid of me if you had the chance?"

Cartman's tone was both softer and more serious when he replied and the honesty in it momentarily took the other boy by surprise. Was Cartman actually admitting that he'd done things that were wrong? What was going on here? Kyle almost wondered if he had fallen asleep again at some point during the call and was now dreaming the rest of it. It took a lot to get even a shred of seriousness from Cartman most days and here he was almost having an honest to god heart to heart with him over the phone.

Kyle ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation when he remembered that Cartman was waiting for a reply. "I don't hate you," he admitted, making sure there weren't any traces of uncertainty in his voice because he really did mean it.

Kyle hadn't felt anything remotely like hate towards Cartman in a long time and he wasn't sure if he ever truly had. He'd felt anger towards him for sure and he'd hated some of the things Cartman did and the needlessly dramatic situations he'd gotten people -mainly Kyle- involved in, but he'd never actually hated Cartman.

A lot of the time he'd actually felt like Cartman knew him better than anyone, even Stan who he'd been almost attached at the hip with throughout his childhood. They fought a lot, but that was just their dynamic. When it actually mattered they made an excellent team together and brought out the best in each other and together they had always been a force to be reckoned with. They were and always would be a hugely significant part of each other's lives and there was no denying that. Kyle wasn't entirely sure how to put all of that into words, but he would try.

"You might have done some fucked up things when we were kids, but we all did some pretty fucked up things back then. The fact that you're thinking about it like this now proves that you've changed a lot since then. I can't believe I'm saying this but I consider you one of my closest friends and believe it or not I don't actually want to see bad things happen to you. You infuriate me sometimes, but that's only because I know you can be a better person. Besides, things wouldn't be anywhere near as interesting if you weren't around."

Silence reigned between them in the moments following Kyle's confession. This was so different from their usual interactions, it was more honest, more vulnerable. Kyle half expected Eric to crack an inappropriate joke any second now to cover their tracks, to bring them back to their safety net of repetitive bickering about Kyle's religion or Eric's only slightly improved eating habits.

He was further surprised, however, when the other boy let the conversation continue. "I don't really hate you that much either y'know?" Kyle heard a quiet chuckle on the other end of the line. "In fact I'm pretty sure most of the shit I used to do to you was just because I didn't know how else to get your attention. Honestly.. I just… really wanted to be your friend... but I didn't know how..." Cartman's voice trailed off awkwardly, it was pretty obvious that it had been a struggle for him to reveal that much.

Kyle felt his face heat up at that revelation. He wasn't oblivious to Cartman's way of thinking, he'd already known that a lot of the stunts he pulled in elementary school were a cry for attention, but he never thought he'd hear him admit it. The fact that Cartman had just willingly told Kyle that it was his attention he was after most of the time kind of threw him off more than a little. If it wasn't for the genuine cautiousness in his voice when he'd said that, Kyle would have suspected him of being up to his old tricks again. This wasn't a trick though, this was real. Cartman had actually seen Kyle as a worthy equal and a desirable friend beneath all of his insults and bullshit and Kyle didn't quite know what to do with that information.

He cleared his throat in an effort to break the strained, awkward silence that had enveloped them, willing the the burning sensation in his cheeks to stop. "W-well, you could have started by being a little nicer," he pointed out, failing to hold back a grin at the irritated sigh that he received in response, "but we're friends now. So as long as you don't give me any reasons to regret saying that, you don't need to worry about any of that anymore."

He caught himself almost smiling at the tired, but sincere "Ok, kewl," that answered him.

Cartman let out a loud yawn after that, which turned out to be contagious as Kyle's quieter one echoed it. They both laughed and just like that the tense atmosphere that came with the sudden serious conversation dissipated and it felt as if a weight had been lifted from Kyle's chest. He suspected that the other felt the same as he could hear his breathing relax over the line. He did have to admit that Cartman was almost cute when he was sleepy. Almost.

"Now seriously, go to bed because I'm not covering for you if you oversleep and miss school tomorrow," Kyle complained.

"Yeah yeah. Good night, Jew," Cartman said softly, his voice already riddled with sleep. There was no trace of his usual venom behind the name though, it seemed more like a friendly nickname than the insult he usually intended it to be.

Kyle wondered if he would actually remember any of this conversation in the morning or if he would write it off as some strange dream where he actually had a pretty civil talk with his childhood rival. It almost seemed like something had changed between them just a little bit over the course of this bizarre phone call, like they had actually made some positive progress. After everything that they had been through together over the years, Kyle hoped that was true.

"Good night, Fatass," he replied, hanging up and placing his phone back on his bedside table gently, feeling strangely hopeful about what tomorrow would bring.

Author's note: Sorry if there were any really OOC moments, it's my first time writing Kyman and they actually have a pretty complex dynamic going on so I'm still getting used to it. It's also my first time writing Cartman as a main character and it feels kind of weird to me at the moment. I want to do this pairing justice as much as possible though so bear with me, I'll get used to it eventually.

Also if it seems OOC towards the end of the chapter that's because I thought, it's the early hours of the morning and when people are tired they're more likely to be honest and just say what they think, or at least from my experience of 2 am conversations with friends that's how it goes anyway. They're not gonna just switch to being overly nice to each other straight away after this one conversation I swear (I was slightly worried it seemed that way).

Fun fact though: I was actually writing a Life is Strange inspired au when I came up with the idea for this fic which is why I made the conversation start that way. I'm still writing it but I thought I'd post this one first and then start posting that once I've finished it because I already have this and four walls going.

Anyway, this is mainly just an attempt at writing Kyman because I've started to really like the pairing and I enjoy coming up with ideas for stories involving them, so I thought why not give it a go? Hopefully I didn't do too badly so far.

I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! One day I will try to write an author's note that isn't way too long, but today is not that day.