A/N: Sorry. I'm way to lazy. I've been writing it for months now. Fail. And I only ran the spellchecker on it.. I cba doing anything else. You might be able to tell I wrote the first bit 5 months ago and the last bit in one afternoon.
It's over. Kusama.
I stare at the note in my shaking hand, my mouth wide open. It takes me a minute to comprehend what is written there, and even then I don't believe it.
"Why-why?" Are the only words that escape my lips. Who does he think he is?!
I walk a further two steps into out apartment - our empty apartment - no, my empty apartment. If I need anymore proof that this is real, it was right in front of me. All the books, belongings and memories I had treasured; gone, along with Nowaki himself.
Although I thought at first there was absolutely nothing in the apartment, I find all the things I had bought him while we had been together in the corner of the room.
The note (now on the floor) had spoken with finality. Nowaki had even used his second name, clearly written with cold intent so I would not follow him.
I find myself sinking, both emotionally sinking and physically sinking. I thought the horrible, faint, weightless feeling would stop when I hit the floor, but it didn't. Warm salty liquid builds up in my eyes.
Why... why would he do this? It's so unlike Nowaki! Does he hate me now? Is he cheating on me? Has he found someone else, closer in age and interest that he can relate to? His sempai? I want to scream at the thought, but I can't speak... there's a lump in my throat. Tears finally escape and hit the floor, although my vision is still blurry. I fist at my eyes, feeling particularly weak... I've turned into the one person I never wanted to become thanks to Nowaki...
I tighten my fists, feeling my nails dig into my palms before letting all my anguish out in one loud, pained scream.
-
Slowly I open my eyes. I feel as if someone had just hit me around the head with a bag of bricks. My throat hurts like a bitch, too. I go to look at Nowaki, something I do straight away after I wake up at any time. I don't realize it until I look him in the eyes, but he is wide awake and he is looking at me as if he had seen a ghost.
"Now-Nowaki..." My nightmare comes back to me in an instant. He's right here. Right beside me.
"Hiro-san!" He exclaims, alarmed. I never stutter and he knows there is something wrong. I feel warm liquid trickling down my face and onto the pillow. No.. please don't let me cry.
Nowaki pulls me into a tight embrace, which only made me cry harder. Nowaki notices this and with a pained expression, one that told me he knows it involves him, pulls away slightly to look me in the eyes.
"You screamed," he begins, own voice shaking. "I woke you. You looked so terrible... what was it?" He asks gently. I shake my head and try to pull out of his embrace fully. Without hurting me he keeps hold.
"Please, Hiro-san. Tell me. I won't laugh if it's something small and anything you say will stay inside these four walls." He cups my face in his hand. It's so comforting and I lean into it. He moves his thumb below my eyes, which I shut, wiping away tears. I felt so small, someone like me crying. I knew I had to open up to my boyfriend, he always does to me.
Then I realize, everything in that dream was what I did to Nowaki last year after he came back. It was karma; it has to be.
I take in a deep breath. My voice came out shaky. "I dreamed I was in your position a year ago. When I..." I struggle for words, hiccuping slightly. "left you.. you left me... instead..." He looks so hurt now I've said that, but I need to know this next thing for sure. "Y-you wouldn't leave me, would you?"
"Hiro-san!" Now he really does look hurt. I feel so unsure now; he didn't say no. "I wouldn't even think of it!" I sigh in relief, hiccuping again.
"I'm sorry if that was how you felt. I didn't want you to come after me, that's why I was so cold and abrupt... but I didn't realize... I didn't know it was that deep.."
I'm pulled into another embrace and I wrap my arm around his waist and put my head on his shoulder this time.
"It's all in the past Hiro-san. It might be hard, but I want to forget all the times we were unsure or hurting each other. They're the worst times of my life. The best bits are the only ones we should remember." I pull his shoulder down so I could kiss him. He's so tall, even lying down. His lips touch mine gently and over a few seconds it turns to something more passionate. I pull away to say something.
"Nothing comes out of these four walls, right?" I smile slightly. He smiles back and nods. "I promise."
"I love you." I mumble.
"I love you, too, Hiro-san." He sighs happily.